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playcouple
17 hours ago
Straight White/Caucasian Female, 51
Straight White/Caucasian Male, 54
0 km · Kempton Park
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:eeek::thrilled:
:jagsatwork::moon:
:lickface:Quote by Nimfie_Pieman
Hi SDMR
Instead of having one extra site for the "Fakers" why not have 47,479 sites to represent each person on this site, as none of us want exactly the same thing, not even my wife and I.
Or
We can have one site with different profiles.
The thing is, many of the Faker couples started off with real intentions but nervous, until they encountered someone as uncompromising or unyielding as you appear to be. They then start employing many defensive tactics. Often one of the partners will pull out and the other will keep on trying, hoping to get their partner back in once they found a match.
We know several couples like that and in some cases, in the past, we have added to their pain.
It is much easier to be brave on this site as a single male with few reservations or limits.
If you however want to do this in a way that is exciting but safe for your wife at the same time, it is a different story all together.
Thing is, many of the profiles are not completely honest or up to date. Not even the most ready to meet and play ones.
We all just trying to find something that works for us, so let's give each other some grace.
Opinion time, to is swinginh invludes 3 sums with singles, oe for that matter moresums with several swingers also falls under swinging.
Quote by SDMR
That same community that preaches understanding, deserves exactly that from all other members, new or existing. If they say, NO SINGLE MALES, then that's what they want, respect it.
Contacting people who have made it clear they are looking for something other than what you are offering is looking for failure, forget about trying to change their views, rather consider changing your own.
Couldn't have said it better
Quote by BBWLOVER
Maybe someone can explain to me how it is that in a community that preaches a message of understanding, openness and general acceptance, the stigma of A: being a newbie, & B: LORD FORBID U ARE A SINGLE MALE WHO IS CAUTIOUS, most are treated like Pariah's and made to feel exactly like they are trying to join an exclusive club, who's members deign to judge you for the very principles they preach?
Maybe i'm delusional, but .... as a newbie single male i'm sure i speak for others who are literally intimidated out of practicing something that they would like,,, why else would we have joined, surely not to be met by the same exclusion that greeted them in the " normal " world...
Just a few thoughts...
The openness does not mean that you have no requirements. Some people don't play with newbies because newbies often get cold feet, often don't turn up to meet you etc. Single guys are notorious for for not pitching and not keeping appointments, many are not actually single, many have an attitude that they are doing you a favor.
prefer to play with a couple.
Some couples just don't play with singles because they just have the preference for whatever reason to play with other couples.
Don't confuse the principle of openness and understanding with women fall on their backs with thighs spread for anything with a dick..........
Just do your searches properly and you will see that there are a lot of couples that do play with single men.
Quote by Roughlover72
I'd like to make a recommendation about how to self assess build descriptions. I would've described myself as medium. What passes for 'medium' means I've now changed it to athletic. There are many large people that describe themselves as 'medium'. If you can't see your penis when you look down, chances are you NOT medium. Perhaps the moderators can help out her I.e. Medium - SMALL tummy
Large - big tummy
Athletic - toned
Muscular - gym bunny
Or is it just me that's delusional?
Cheers!
Delusional bunny?
Jokes aside, what seems to pass as medium would make us anorexic
The other thing is that in this day and age that every laptop ships with built in webcam, the site has the facilities and the use is not unusual any linger, stop being lazy and do your own verification of people that tickle your fancy and that you think are worthwhile.
You guys are here of own free will, so stop abdicating your responsibility to the mods or the site. YOU are responsible for your own actions and YOU are responsible to choose who YOU wish to associate with.
Quote by joyrider
Hi there,
I just have one problem with what you are saying. We have been on this site for sometime now and have only meet 3 cpls as the other people always pull out at last minute for some or other reason. Then in our case we will never reach the quota you are suggesting. :sad:
I would say a member must be on the site for sometime and them, their self must be verified, before they can verify a new member. I think this will cut down the people that join the site and get member verified with in 7days in the meantime they are just testing the water to see if the life style is for them or not.
Joyrider
Just an idea
Dont like the idea of the quota..... sounds to much like guavamint (please don't be offended it is a joke, if you are offended then please don't tell me I don't care)
To get verified by a mod is easy.
Quote by Nimfie_Pieman
Been giving this some thought:
I've come across some profiles that have been verified by several members. (None in our area)
It carries much more value if you can cross reference acquaintances and adds greatly to someones credibility.
So someone in a cluster please do the trouble of getting Cam verified and then verify the people you trust.
Then let them verify each other as well to form a cross referencing network.
As mentioned before making it difficult to get into things scares off good potential swingers more than it does an ass
I have described Cam verification under: Forum- Site Help- Unverified: "Verified, the easy way"
@ Lee
As with Pussinboots1, it does bother me that, as a mod, neither of your profiles are Member Verified.
Cam verification is very easy yes, agreed. People seem to think that being verified means that you definately play, all it does is to confirm that you are what you say in your profile.
Quote by bks_kinkycpl
Sorry all but it is now time for me to step up onto my soapbox and have a rant.
I have two issues with South African in the lifestyle.
1. People can not read, or they can but dont respect others enough to care. for example: we clearly state on our profile that mrs is straight and yet we still keep getting cpls and ladies trying their luck. or we state we will contact single men, and yet they flood our mailbox.
Come on people, lets respect each other enough to respect each others wishes.
2. This brings me to the next issue, why is it that people have incorrect or misleading information on their profiles, This causes one to have to filter through hundreds of profiles, find a profile or two you like, make contact only to find out that the information supplied is incorrect and you are nowhere near a match.
Thats like putting on your CV that you have a phd in Physics and when you get called to an interview you only have a std8. Total waste of your time and others.
Single lady profiles looking for cpls and when you make contact they inform you that they a cpl and looking for ladies.
Come on people is it that difficult to supply the correct information, its not like the people are not going to find out.
Regular rant, and totally agree with you. The single guys think that we nasty with them though..........
I'm getting to sound like a record machine, but for those that may have missed it. We have been on squinting sites for ten years, our albums have always been private. On this and other sites, including pay sites you still get the opener 'open your pics' line. On the pay sites the guys have the further attitude that since they have paid they are ENTITLED to see your pics and you are unfair to say no.
On the pay sites they also feel that since they paid you have got to meet and play with them.
On a privacy point, there is no way that we would allow any verification that entails anything beyond a mod meeting us to verify us, at home would also be fine. One of the sites a few years ago did it like that, but verification took a while and the coarse are quite heavy for the mods.
There is a comparison with all children being taught the same, its like putting a goldfish in a class of monkeys and calling the goldfish dumb/stupid/imbecile because it cant climb a tree. Scientific research tells us that all kids must be put in the same class and taught the same things at the same time of mental and physical development, with absolutely no room for any variation. Which makes science an ass ( I did well at science at school btw. and at times love it), so to use science to put people in a set place or box on a scale (which Kinsey tried, with the best of intentions, to do btw.) is a rather futile ecsersize. Science can only give us answers when we have a complete fixed set of inputs that are not variable, each time there is a variable it changes the answer. Science is an imperfect science, the only side of it that is relatively perfect is physics and that is due to the nature of its applications.
So on a scale from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual I don't believe (maybe incorrectly)that anyone is totally and utterly at the one extreme for our entire lives.
And for the spell checkers there, I cannot spell and my spell checker refuses to give me excersize with my spelling and the only option is 'oversize' which is not the word I'm looking for.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote by LeeEC
AS with all things very little is REALLY "fact", even the largest portion of what we call "scientific research" is incomplete at best. Personally I think what the actual bi-sexual person thinks about bisexuality is FAR more important and FAR more valid and relevant than any PhD holder's theory or wiki article. Also I think PEOPLE are more important than ideas, and not injuring or offending others (and purposefully and proactively respecting others) is MORE important than definitions and categories.
All the real problems, human atrocities and man-made disasters of this world have been caused by categorizing and defining the differences of people and imposing judgement on them based on those categories. So I prefer not to impose on others a label or box of any sort.
Maybe because it's essentially my job to help people out of these same boxes and freeing them from other's judgements, or perhaps it's because I know what it's like to be judged by someone else's yard-stick, so I automatically reject the premise.
So I still stick with my original definition and opinion. You can be whoever you want to be as long as you're happy - and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone or give a reason for your choices. Be free be completely unique - be straight if you like and still like dick occasionally, I don't care as long as you, my friend, are happy, I'm happy.
Totally agree with you. Goldfish climbing trees anyone?
Quote by Mike_Pta
I assume you mean "I'm NOT saying..." in which case I agree with you wholeheartedly. Thing is - as I've said before, I believe that cheating is like the OPPOSITE of swinging. It's not something we support or condone. So why on earth would I reward ANY cheater with this yummy set of bits? It's like silently accepting, condoning and supporting their actions by default.
Also I suspect a person's attitude about this particular subject (as is the case with EVERYTHING) is coloured by their personal experience. If you are not one who has actually been cheated on, you may not fully understand why it's SUCH a BIG issue for some of us.
And it is. HUGE.
No way I will EVER participate in or enable someone else's blatant disrespect and pointed inevitable destruction of their chosen life partner.
TO BE CLEAR: Please note the reference to the breach of a Long-Term Committed Relationship! I'm not talking about casual dating, although, in my mind, one who is inclined to 'cheat' at a 'dating level', doesn't sound like an awesome candidate for something more serious in the future.
Sorry I fixed it.
Also I agree that unless you've been cheated on you won't get how much it suck, nor the combination of anger/depression/self-doubt. my ex broke up with me saying she was moving overseas and didn't want a long distance relationship, a week later some guy was posting happy one month anniversary on her facebook page. Cheating is disgusting no matter how you swing it.
Agree with you both
I agree with what some have said in that you don't so much seem to be stating an opinion as trying to ram it down everyone's throats and telling them that their opinions are wrong. This particularly around couples should give each and every one a chance on the off chance that they may be worth it.
You seem to fail to keep in mind that quite a few of the people who reply to your threads have been swinging for a hell of a lot longer than you and their comments comes from their experience.
Most of the discussions you start are about topics that have been covered ad nauseum over the years in forums on sites and in chatter over a few drinks where there are a few swingers present.
Your apparent mocking of us expecting honesty from playmates is seen as an indication that you actually view us with some level of contempt.
In another thread I asked you a question which I still have not had an answer to. I have pasted it so that you don't have to go searching for it, it is in the thread about to many men.
Might come as a surprise but a lot of swingers are dead set against cheating.......... and not only due to the potential complications in case of being caught.
The number of men on the site has nothing to do with how we go about pick who we do or don't chat to or meet and think it's quite safe to say that we are quite normal in that. Keep in mind that over the years we have met a hell of lot of couples.
On your basis of each one on their merit, would you honestly delve and draw information out of each new contact every day if you get five or ten new approaches per day and get very irritable with the 99% childish drivel as to 'yea but my situation is different', or would you rather take the time on the one or two per week that seem like good prospects?
There are so many people on here and so many on the other sites, why should each exception be considered in case it merits a review, that would entail meeting a few people per day, so totally impractical and a huge waste of time and has nothing to do with the number of men on the site. If you feel that your situation requires explanation put the explanation in your profile, that way you don't waste the other peoples time with the backwards and forwards until it comes up. If you really want to kill your chances then waste peoples time.
Quote by Stamina
So... in another thread you mention how a degree really isn't a good indicator of who is best at a job, but now you list your Honors degree as a reason we should all bow to your superior knowledge? :twisted: Make up your mind dude...
You are incorrect with regards to the above Lee. I said no such thing. SDMR is so far the only person that truly reads and understands the posts in these forums. So far, I have had to repeat myself countless times to everyone putting words in my mouth.
I said in the other forum that the paperless applicants are automatically rejected and qualified applicants get the job. That means that the time to assess the applicant without diploma was not granted. So the it was simply assumed that he was unfit for the position. Never said anything about a degree not being a good indicator. Please stop (constantly) implying that I contradict myself on the forums.. ( and I ask that respectfully).
Just as you don't all agree with my opinions and debate, so will I attempt to justify that opinion. Remember that once an argument starts, the disagreeing party will not back down and possibly admit that the first opinion was actually relevent. The disagreeing party will continue the debate (futilely) as they are now committed to victory.
As I am asked to just admit that I am wrong... I ask that (occasionally) you all see the valid points hidden in my text and give it more careful consideration before commenting. That way we can all be objective. Damn, now I have a headache! He he he
If almost everyone is misunderstanding what you are saying maybe its time that you say what you want to say differently?
Quote by Stamina
I WILL NOT GET CAUGHT...........lol.
How do you actually expect to be taken at face value. Cheating is lying and being dishonest. How do you expect any cpls to believe what you write in your forums about being here for all the right reasons when in actual fact you are in the process of being dishonest to your partner:bs:
I think you slightly misunderstood Stamina, alternatively he has not been truthful with us in PM, but will give benefit of the doubt.
As for the cheating yes if you are being dishonest with your partner how can people expect that you will be truthful with them.
Was I dishonest about something in a message? You have me worried now. Did I say something that you do not believe?
Sheesh, trying to get you a bit of slack and you reply like this.......??????????????????? read the first six words of my reply.
Just asking what I lied about? I have not told you any lies - promise. You said "he has not been truthful with us in pm)... So I am only asking what I may have said that you think is a lie...
I think you missread, we took your side there, you missed the word alternatively, which is crucial in that sentence. Just to be clear, was not even implying that you lied. The point was that you were missunderstood in that you are not cheating on a partner.
Quote by MIKE_
Hi guys,
We feel very strongly that the essence of swinging is based in the honesty between a husband and wife, (or couple in a relationship). What sets swingers apart from others is a respect for our partner that's founded on honesty and trustworthiness.
Now cheating is in direct conflict with these values, and I would go as far as to say, shows disrespect for the unknowing partner. Irrespective of how one tries to sugar coat it, cheating remains cheating, it cannot be disguised as swinging.
So to most couples who have committed themselves to swinging as a lifestyle, embracing all aspects including the values of respect, honesty and trustworthiness, the relationship status of potential playmates does matter a great deal.
We are not judging all cheats to be bad people in every aspect of there life, but simple that as far as our respective relationship values are concerned we are polar opposites.
If you cannot respect you partner, the one you profess to love. Then when the chips are on the table, how do i trust you are going to respect my wife and my marriage?
Well put MIKE_
Quote by Stamina
I WILL NOT GET CAUGHT...........lol.
How do you actually expect to be taken at face value. Cheating is lying and being dishonest. How do you expect any cpls to believe what you write in your forums about being here for all the right reasons when in actual fact you are in the process of being dishonest to your partner
I think you slightly misunderstood Stamina, alternatively he has not been truthful with us in PM, but will give benefit of the doubt.
As for the cheating yes if you are being dishonest with your partner how can people expect that you will be truthful with them.
Was I dishonest about something in a message? You have me worried now. Did I say something that you do not believe?
Sheesh, trying to get you a bit of slack and you reply like this.......??????????????????? read the first six words of my reply.
Quote by Stamina
I WILL NOT GET CAUGHT...........lol.
How do you actually expect to be taken at face value. Cheating is lying and being dishonest. How do you expect any cpls to believe what you write in your forums about being here for all the right reasons when in actual fact you are in the process of being dishonest to your partner
Another couple seeking honesty... This is swingers site, not a church gathering. Next time you stay home because you don't feel like working that day and then tell your boss that you were ill, then talk to me again about honesty. No one is 100% honest, not even a paster! People in glass houses must not throw stones. Besides, if I am being dishonest to my partner does not mean that I am being dishonest here. And the above was an example to make a different point.
This a public forum and all can say what they choose. But you have a serious problem with me from the day you decided to chat in these forums. You don't know me, so don't presume to! Sorry to the rest of the forum followers that actually talk some sense here but I have had it with all the rude and obnoxious people that come here just to pick a fight. There is a big difference between debate and argument.
Before slating them for what they say, maybe you should explain exactly what your situation is, without the explanation you gave us in PM we would have exactly the same comment as cpl2play. Shows you people do actually give (you) some slack.
As for your other comments, you are correct you can say what you want as this is a public forum, it is also subject to rules and if you disregard them you can be kicked out and banned, as you can be evicted from a shop. Your comments infer that cpl2play are being obnoxious and rude, which is out of line and rude (refer my para above). They are also not in anyway trying to pick a fight. If you are saying I'm picking a fight, not at all, just taking part in your debate and with full right as per your statement of public forum. Taking part in a debate and making reference to personal experience is also not picking a fight. Attacking people taking part in a debate that you started, but where they disagree with your opinion (it is only an opinion that you have as there is no manner to get any all encompassing, credible facts) is low. Part of the rules of a debate is that all participants are allowed to state their opinion, factually correct, or not, being beside the point. If someone makes a statement about you that is incorrect due to you not having provided them with the correct facts, then you should not attack them, but rather give them the correct facts so that they have the opportunity to change their opinion or statement. People are also allowed to refer to their personal experience as a point of departure to support the basis of their statements.
As for your comment on being dishonest with your partner does not mean you will be dishonest here, very unlikely. All we have here are trust at the end of the day. If you someone is being dishonest with their partner, who is supposedly a long term relationship, then the chance of being honest with someone you will meet once and never see again is very very slim.
Quote by cpl2play
I WILL NOT GET CAUGHT...........lol.
How do you actually expect to be taken at face value. Cheating is lying and being dishonest. How do you expect any cpls to believe what you write in your forums about being here for all the right reasons when in actual fact you are in the process of being dishonest to your partner
I think you slightly misunderstood Stamina, alternatively he has not been truthful with us in PM, but will give benefit of the doubt.
As for the cheating yes if you are being dishonest with your partner how can people expect that you will be truthful with them.
Quote by Stamina
I understand. Buy I still believe that every situation should be considered in its own merit. Some can cheat discretely, some can't. Saying no to all cheaters because of fear of getting caught is too general for me. If that is your only reason for not playing with an attached (cheating) person, then I think you should atleast try to consider all the facts. I own a business, my time is flexible, I can go where I please any time of day and my girl will never know where I was. I see her one or two nights a week. She works for a boss so in an office from 8 to 5, six days a week. I WILL NOT get caught. The next guy may be stupid and tell his wife that he is going on a boys night. Wife eventually finds out that there was no boys night and the bust happens... The problem is that the world is too general. It would be a better place if each an every situation was approached individually. I will actually start another discussion on the topic to explain what I mean... Look out for (Generalizing)...
Might come as a surprise but a lot of swingers are dead set against cheating.......... and not only due to the potential complications in case of being caught.
The number of men on the site has nothing to do with how we go about pick who we do or don't chat to or meet and think it's quite safe to say that we are quite normal in that. Keep in mind that over the years we have met a hell of lot of couples.
On your basis of each one on their merit, would you honestly delve and draw information out of each new contact every day if you get five or ten new approaches per day and get very irritable with the 99% childish drivel as to 'yea but my situation is different', or would you rather take the time on the one or two per week that seem like good prospects?
There are so many people on here and so many on the other sites, why should each exception be considered in case it merits a review, that would entail meeting a few people per day, so totally impractical and a huge waste of time and has nothing to do with the number of men on the site. If you feel that your situation requires explanation put the explanation in your profile, that way you don't waste the other peoples time with the backwards and forwards until it comes up. If you really want to kill your chances then waste peoples time.
Quote by Stamina
In my experience so far, the number of guys (and type of guys) has everything to do with it. I send clean, honest, respectful messages. Ice-breakers. I never imply that I want to "fuck" the wife of a couple. I make contact respectfully and more often than anything, I get rude replies. I am treated like dirt from the get go. And all those rude replies smack of frustration from the couple. I am an intelligent man - I can put 2 and 2 together. I understand straight away that a couple has had one or more bad experiences with a male. I know when I am shifted to that bracket. There are those that politely inform me that my relationship status kills my chances, and I gladly accept their decision. But most tell me in not so many words to go find another hole for my dick! And that is after a polite and respectful first contact message. Besides, my relationship status should have nothing to do with it anyway. The couple I play with is not going to marry me, it is about physical pleasure and not about people life choices. If you are a couple that wants a male to attend a session, do you want his sexual skills or do you want to move in and be a second husband. Just saying... The assholes DO make it difficult (damn near impossible) for the few decent ones.
Something that has been covered elsewhere, your relationship status if playing alone is important. Reason why couples often dont play with guys in any form of a relationship who are playing alone is that the chances of it blowing up and the couple getting dragged into it or being named in the divorce, or being slated by the aggrieved partner is very high, this is something that has happened to us. In this day and age of Facebook etc you find that said aggrieved partner contacts the couples work place, friends etc. and bringing what is generally a very private issue (the couple swinging) into the open and causing not just embarrassment but also a lot of inconvenience. One woman we knew years ago put on a shop in a chatroom on a swingers site, someone decided to use that vid and sent it to her boss, who terminated her contract on the basis of her dealing with the public for the company and he felt she could not do so on an impartial basis and that what she was doing caused problems in the office politics. This was before ccma etc. Bottom line is your relationship stats is important.
