I am a thinker, I calculate, assess, examine, research, explain every situation. Must be the Engineer in me that over thinks everything. but getting a point across is a very difficult task indeed. Many have formed opinions of me and aired their assumptions here on a public forum for all others to see. That casts me in a bad light unfairly. I am all for opinion and everyone is entitled to theirs, but applying the breaks when explaining someone's flaws and faults is not too difficult. Don't say something about someone unless you can back it up with hard evidence.
We have gotten to know a little bit about each other through the various discussions and debates on these forums. Note that I say "little bit". Too often we (yes, me included) tend to think we now know the people we are debating with. This is a huge eff-up! It takes alot longer and many more personal conversations to get to know someone. I do not presume to know any of you just because you have certain habits in the forum, so I do not form a negative opinion. I judge based on facts and not on assumptions. Every comment I make on others posts is either a helpful one or a simple addition. Occasionally, I do not agree and I say my two cents worth making sure to not let it sound like a personal attack on the person posting. With me, it almost always a snotty comment to follow my post. It may be directly aimed at me personally but it almost always something sarcastically implying that I have no idea what I am talking about.
Is this a space for people to argue for the sake arguing? If you do not agree, simply state politely that you do not agree and elaborate a reason. Do not single that person out as a certain type because you believe his opinion defines him. Give careful consideration to your replies and comments. Keep it clear and to point, stay on the subject at hand without making the poster feel like a total fool for what he said. I hold everyone here in high regard but my list of "nice people" is about get shorter. I will probably never meet any of you so I should not care what any of you think of me - but I do! I want to seen for who I am and liked for it, not assessed by judgemental people. Hold a conversation with me without debate, argument or assumptions and you just might find me to be a "lekker oke"...
There are certain people that trawl the forums and comment on every single topic. Some have every reason to and keep the comments intelligent and to the point. Some even just crack a light hearted joke... But certain people have an argument for every single opinion. Have they got nothing better to do than sit the whole day picking fights? These certain people pick fights and fuel the fire, then deny that they are picking fights. "I simply do not agree with your opinion".. But they bring up things that were said in other posts and remark about things on your profile, etc.
I post many different opinions here... I do it because it is something on my mind at that very moment, or may something I have been thinking about for a while. Can even be something about the site that impresses or possibly irritates me. There those that will not agree with every opinion posted but they can be civilized about it. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. I use it, but only when I was offended or pissed of by a fellow site member telling me in not so many words that I am a dick.
When I make contact with someone on this site, I always suggest that they drop by the forum and see our discussions. It is a tool for me to get myself known a bit better. It is supposed to impress people that I would like to meet. But when so many others are constantly stating that I have this problem and that problem, or this attitude and that attitude - I ruin my own chances. Many do not read all the posts and replies, just fragments... Please do not answer with " we are not attacking you"??? That is exactly what the guilty parties are doing. I am an intelligent, educated man. I have attained much success in my life. I have two children that I raise alone, and have done so since their mother walked out at my youngests tender age of 9 months. I am proud of my doings in life and I feel that it is not wrong to allow it to surface. Not the same as bragging or "forcing it down others throats". It does not make me "arrogant" when I proudly announce some of my successes. No one else is proud of me so I will be proud of myself.
I am an equal member of this site, same as any of you. I have a right to be here. I love this site but I am slowly starting to doubt the people. I have always heard that swingers are the most open and transparent people... I am starting to think that they are false. I am beginning to think that maybe swingers only tolerate other swingers. Singles are beneath them?
Not saying it is so, just slowly leaning toward the idea.
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In defence of myself...
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I don't know what other people think but I think opinions really DO define us... or more accurately they reveal aspects of us; and with that in mind - one should be quite careful about what one says. It's not wise to chuck statements about without carefully thinking about what they SAY about who we are. A person can't be upset that other people are offended by their words, if they are in fact being quoted accurately.
There are MANY times I read a thread and start to respond and stop mid sentence and decide that actually; I don't like what my post is SAYING ABOUT ME. So I delete it and remain silent.
This is called wisdom.
@Stamina, you know a bit about marketing, so you should be nodding your head right now, even if you haven't been operating by this maxim.
I believe that it's a GOOD thing to absorb as many perspectives and insights as possible and carefully examine each and build oneself a better blueprint for life and interaction with others. It constantly boggles my mind that others continue to repeat the same bad habit over and over, causing repetitive injury to themselves and others in the process. When really if they'd just been paying attention....
anyway in a nutshell... it is better to be thought a fool that to open one's mouth and remove all doubt
Which is why I spend a LOT of time reading my posts, re-reading, editing and refining what I want to say, so that when I hit "submit" I can do so without regretting ANYTHING I ever say in a public forum.
There are MANY times I read a thread and start to respond and stop mid sentence and decide that actually; I don't like what my post is SAYING ABOUT ME. So I delete it and remain silent.
This is called wisdom.
@Stamina, you know a bit about marketing, so you should be nodding your head right now, even if you haven't been operating by this maxim.
I believe that it's a GOOD thing to absorb as many perspectives and insights as possible and carefully examine each and build oneself a better blueprint for life and interaction with others. It constantly boggles my mind that others continue to repeat the same bad habit over and over, causing repetitive injury to themselves and others in the process. When really if they'd just been paying attention....
anyway in a nutshell... it is better to be thought a fool that to open one's mouth and remove all doubt
Which is why I spend a LOT of time reading my posts, re-reading, editing and refining what I want to say, so that when I hit "submit" I can do so without regretting ANYTHING I ever say in a public forum.
Quote by LeeEC
I don't know what other people think but I think opinions really DO define us... or more accurately they reveal aspects of us; and with that in mind - one should be quite careful about what one says. It's not wise to chuck statements about without carefully thinking about what they SAY about who we are. A person can't be upset that other people are offended by their words, if they are in fact being quoted accurately.
There are MANY times I read a thread and start to respond and stop mid sentence and decide that actually; I don't like what my post is SAYING ABOUT ME. So I delete it and remain silent.
This is called wisdom.
@Stamina, you know a bit about marketing, so you should be nodding your head right now, even if you haven't been operating by this maxim.
I believe that it's a GOOD thing to absorb as many perspectives and insights as possible and carefully examine each and build oneself a better blueprint for life and interaction with others. It constantly boggles my mind that others continue to repeat the same bad habit over and over, causing repetitive injury to themselves and others in the process. When really if they'd just been paying attention....
anyway in a nutshell... it is better to be thought a fool that to open one's mouth and remove all doubt
Which is why I spend a LOT of time reading my posts, re-reading, editing and refining what I want to say, so that when I hit "submit" I can do so without regretting ANYTHING I ever say in a public forum.
You just summed up exactly what I said...
I agree with what some have said in that you don't so much seem to be stating an opinion as trying to ram it down everyone's throats and telling them that their opinions are wrong. This particularly around couples should give each and every one a chance on the off chance that they may be worth it.
You seem to fail to keep in mind that quite a few of the people who reply to your threads have been swinging for a hell of a lot longer than you and their comments comes from their experience.
Most of the discussions you start are about topics that have been covered ad nauseum over the years in forums on sites and in chatter over a few drinks where there are a few swingers present.
Your apparent mocking of us expecting honesty from playmates is seen as an indication that you actually view us with some level of contempt.
In another thread I asked you a question which I still have not had an answer to. I have pasted it so that you don't have to go searching for it, it is in the thread about to many men.
Might come as a surprise but a lot of swingers are dead set against cheating.......... and not only due to the potential complications in case of being caught.
The number of men on the site has nothing to do with how we go about pick who we do or don't chat to or meet and think it's quite safe to say that we are quite normal in that. Keep in mind that over the years we have met a hell of lot of couples.
On your basis of each one on their merit, would you honestly delve and draw information out of each new contact every day if you get five or ten new approaches per day and get very irritable with the 99% childish drivel as to 'yea but my situation is different', or would you rather take the time on the one or two per week that seem like good prospects?
There are so many people on here and so many on the other sites, why should each exception be considered in case it merits a review, that would entail meeting a few people per day, so totally impractical and a huge waste of time and has nothing to do with the number of men on the site. If you feel that your situation requires explanation put the explanation in your profile, that way you don't waste the other peoples time with the backwards and forwards until it comes up. If you really want to kill your chances then waste peoples time.
Master of Sex
I believe that what people think of you, is none of your business. Nuff said
