It's the old, old rule of swinging. Communication.
All or most swinging couples got into the lifestyle in different ways and each has a story to tell of how it all began. Mostly by suggestion by one or other partner. At least you are communicating with her. Your approach however, may have been a little too much to the point. Maybe you should subtly ask her if she has had any fantasies about experimenting with a bi woman. Discuss fantasies, likes and dislikes. You realise your wish.
Yes it's amazing how many are unaware of the real meaning of the term. Definitely not splashing about in the jacuzzi or pool. Personally not a turn on to get pissed on. I think it's a minority fetish.
...................and take it like a man - or woman!
Freedom of speech and all that.
PIB, at least you don't hold back, and there are a few of us who contribute to the Forum who also have strong opinions. But that doesn't mean that one should be opinionated!! There's a difference.
While we do vent our spleens sometimes, or just offer an opinion on a subject there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to get personal and vindictive. If a member has a problem with any statement by another member, say so - TO THAT MEMBER!! Don't hint and play with words.
I often get angry about things or have something I wish to express or get off my chest. I don't give a flying shit (sorry, Rider, but that's how I speak) who may get offended. Bloody well grow up and get over it. This is the real world.
I will however, not be offensive - again, there's a difference. Rudeness and personal attacks havew no place on this Forum.
There! Said it! Now I feel a whole lot better.
We understand your frustrations but our dilemma is somewhat different.
We DO have a venue - our little hideaway bush lodge is suitable for up to 5 couples for an awesome weekend of fun and pleasure. Situated beside a pristine, crystal clear river and with mindblowing natural surroundings. I kid you not, but on arrival, you get an immediate feeling of relaxation and a heightened sense of horniness. Perfect for swinging couples who want to explore and relasie fantasies, or just lie back and enjoy slow, sensual fucking.
Our probelm, though, is that it's about a 2 1/2 hour drive from Gauteng and probably sounds to the uninitiated as the back of beyond. Seriously, would you drive almost 3 hours for a fuck? Even though it may be the best weekend ever??!!
The couples we have invited, and who have chickened out at the last minute, have given us the lamest excuses ever! "The cold room stopped working because of the rain" "The Landrover won't start" "Sudden family commitments" "Kids have fallen ill"
Those who did pitch up enjoyed an unforgettable weekend.
Point is that the venue is there but get there? Too much fucking effort.
We guarantee you guys the next time we're in EC we'll join you................... when you have FINALLY found a venue.
Well, Rider, your mother doesn't know me so I'm safe from her punishment
a happy pussy is a sideways grin!! well fucked and satisfied.
A cunt is the guy who cuts in front of you in traffic.
A cunt is the guy who muscled in on the girl of your dreams all those years ago. You'll never forgive him.
A cunt is the guy who stole your best business idea ever!! and made a fortune. Hmmm.... maybe I'm the doos?
A cunt is the guy part of a couple who makes some lame excuse for not honouring a date arrangement
A happy pussy is the one that arrived at the date and was properly fucked
A stupid pussy is the student who wakes up next morning at the camp site next morning complaining that she'll never drink brandy again because it makes her pussy ache.
Well said, PIB! Seems Joyrider is either very nervous or has had a bad experience................. or both!
I will repeat: We all want to welcome Newbies to our world with open arms - literally and figuratively. It just gives us more choice and a wider circle of friends - existing and potential
The atmosphere and ambience has to be right with all players, for Newbies and experienced swingers
We have been swinging for a while and I certainly get your point, Rider. We have enjoyed a mix of newbies (we were all there once, as you correctly point out) and experienced couples who have been swinging for years.
We have, in fact, arranged to spend some time with a complete novice couple. They are incredibly nervous and unsure of what to expect. As an intro we have BBMed' them, 'ed them, mailed them and spoken on the phone to them. We have told them what the lifestyle is all about and the rules that go with it (no emotional nonsense, no jealousy and so on) It's all about sexual gratification with someone else other than your partner or spouse, while with the full knowledge and consent of the other. We are introducing them gently to same room sex. We also assure them that no means ABSOLUTELY NO!! and yes means OOOOOOHHH YES PLEASE!!
Anyone can stop at any time and there is absolutely no pressure or expectations.
Naturally, before "the deed" is done, as you put it, there is a period of taking time to relax the nerves by chatting, sharing a joke and naughty, sexy banter. This puts everyone in the right frame of mind.
As one would seduce a new girlfriend or boyfriend, the mood has to be set. Lighting (candles), soothing music and furniture. The latter is important. If a nervous couple walks into a lounge and there's a mattress on the floor it's like seeing a dentist's chair - waiting for unpleasantness to follow. As the action heats up THEN the mattress can be hauled out.
The point is, Rider, that there are 'experienced' couples who take time and care, empathising with newbies. We want them to see the incredible, uninhibited and awesome fun that the lifestyle provides.................. and to become fully fledged members of this great society.
Swingers rock the world!! (if I may borrow the phrase)
There are hundreds of words and descriptions for male and female genitals, as we all know.
Dick, prick, penis, cock, log, trunk, piepie, snotslang....................
Fanny, vagina, cunt, pussy, love trench, heaven's gate, twat, crowd pleaser, snotsloot, man cave, koekie, vajayjay......................................
It depends on the circumstance and the individual as to when, how and in what environment the word is used.
Is it really degrading? It's very much a personal opinion.
My partner is quite happy with my referring to her genitals as pussy. And she calls mine Moby, as in Moby Dick!
I do agree that cunt is aweful and crass. Vagina is far too clinical. Read some of the stories by clicking on the "Stories" box and read how the writers use the names for that pleasurable item between a woman's legs, for want of a better description.
I think that, when meeting a new couple, as in our case, be upfront and ask what terms may be offensive. The subject certainly arises (no pun!) in conversation and one has to refer to "it" in some way. You just can't avoid it!!
I am cut. I was born Jewish. 90% of the women I have been with tell me they prefer cut.
I have often wondered how, as a guy, you can physically draw a comparison. I obviously wouldn't know what it's like to be uncut, so this is really interesting to hear from the ladies. All - ALL! - the comments I have heard from women when I pose the question concerns the hygiene issue. All sorts of nunus breeding under there.
BUT!! If an uncircumcised guy takes diligent care of his cleanliness then there's no problem. And I'm told that uncut guys are more sensitive round the helmet area.
Interesting subject.
Hmmm........ While it's abundantly true that frequent sex sheds calories and is great exercise for fitness levels I am always amazed at how Cheryl resembles a new-born giraffe if she gets up too soon after sex! Then she gets pissed off when I double up with laughter.
We also had a few "blind dates" which did not go according to plan.
There can't be anything worse than being in the situation where it's too late to turn back.
We have subsequently decided that we would meet our new friends over coffee or drinks in a public place, but where we can talk without being overheard. The very first issue is physical appearance/attraction. If we cross that little hurdle we lay down the do's, dont's, likes and dislikes so that there is no misunderstanding when we do get together to fuck.
Who's bi and who's straight? Who likes or dislikes anal? And so on.................. No means no, and yes means OH FUCK, YES PLEASE!! If there is any discomfort whatsoever, it must be verbalised and there should be no ill feelings at all. Oh ya, and the women are the boss!
At the very outset we explain clearly that we buried the jelousy animal a long time ago, and we are certainly not going to interfere with anyone's marriage. If that aspect rears its ugly head we cut ties immediately.
But the most important thing, we discovered, is whether we LIKE the couple. Would we be able spend time chatting and enjoying intelligent conversation? It often goes BEYOND the physical. We also make it abundantly clear that we both trust one another implicitly and are completely honest with one another. On the way home we discuss our experiences in detail with each other, with the big question: Would we "do" them again? Are they keepers and long term friends?
I'm sure that there are a number of contributers to this forum who are itching to share their experiences of guys who just could not perform when the time comes to do the necessary. It's happened to all of us at one time or another.
But jealousy has no place in the swinging lifestyle!!!!!
Rock on, swingers!!
I have a sneaky feeling that our story is reminiscent of many couples who swing.
A couple we swing with regularly have a similar history, albeit with a slight twist. Some years ago he introduced his wife to some pron movies he had been given by his work mates. He told me that they sat together in the lounge and watched the movies. Her initial reaction was one of shock and disgust. Her conservative upbringing as a farm girl did not prepare her for it. It wasn't long however, that she asked him to show him more. The floodgates opened and the big red sex button in her head switched on. Five years on and she is the one who controls their profiles on this and other sites. She's the one who arranges meets and decides who she'd to fuck. He sits back with a huge grin and is more than happy to share her because she has transformed into a sex maniac. At the same time their marriage is rock solid.
In our case the scenario is a little different. C and I met on a dating site. We are both divorcees and have no plans to remarry. We'd been dating - and yes, enjoying incredible sex - for a few months when one night we were discussing fantasies, as well as telling each other about our past sexual experiences. She revealed that she had had a few bi experiences and that she'd love to do it again. A lot more was revealed and the similarities in our fantasies and desires was amazing. We found this site and hey, Presto!! Sex, sex, and more sex! And our sex life with each other has gone to a much higher level.
Yes there are a lot of bullshitters on this site and a helluva lot who try their luck, cheat on their partners, get their rocks off by perving over the pictures/photos, just want to talk dirty and so on and so on........................................
On the other hand we have met some great people who we swing with and look forward to meeting many more.
It's the bullshitters and liars who make life difficult for those of us who genuinely want to swing and have fun. Arranging meetings and pitching up is the difficult part. You chat here, send a few replies back and forth, arrange to meet and then it all falls apart - cancellation at the last minute or just not pitching up. People like that should be named and shamed. Can the admin people not cancel their subscription or block them or something?
The bad news is fortunately far, far less than the good news. We have met some fantastic couples here who have become good friends.
This is our ice breaker.
Our couples weekends at our lodge have been with couples who have not met one another before and there is always a period of uncertainty initially. You say to yourself "I'm going to be fucking these people, and they're going to be fucking me, but I don't know them"
We devised our 'Meet n Greet' game to get everyone more relaxed. Bear in mind that we're never more than 4-5 couples.
Shortly after arrival everyone is shown around, introduced, slip into more appropriate clothing (we like everyone to wear a sarong - nothing else), pour a drink and get together at the lapa.
Everyone draws a number from a hat. The girls have pink papers to choose from and the guys blue ones.
Everylone lines up, girls facing boys, matching numbers across from one another.
A kitchen timer is set for 2 minutes. When it starts you step forward and GREET the person opposite you. Handshakes are not allowed. Kissing, fondling, touching, feeling, groping, licking, sucking.....................................
When timer bell goes everyone moves one up. One step to the left and stand in front of another 'partner'. Another 2 minutes of serious getting to know one another, and so on until everyone has 'greeted' everyone.
This gets everyone hot and steamy................................ let the games begin!!
..........................and COMMUNICATION!!
Is it immoral to be a swinger? Well, yes, if you're religious fundamentalist and strongly believe that it's Biblically immoral. (You definitely don't know what you're missing out on if that's you) Then again you wouldn't be a swinger, would you? And you certainly would not be reading this! Before there's a storm of protest and indignation we just need to state that religion and spirituality is an individual and personal issue and should not be a part of the equation, as indeed with politics.
As swingers at the outset of our incredible adventure we made a pact with each other: we will be, and are, totally honest with one another and we communicate openly and without reservation with each other and those couples we swing with. In that regard we 'lay down the law', as it were, when we meet new couples.
Questions are posed: Are you BOTH totally comfortable with swinging? What are your preferences, likes and dislikes? Will you respect them, as we do? NO means NO, and YES means Oh, fuck, yes, please!!!
With us there is not an iota of thought whether we are being moral or immoral. The norms of society have definitely brainwashed us into the sanctity of monogamous marriage and the whole white picket fence purity of so-called wholesome relationships. This is all good and well, and we agree that the bond between a swinging couple is the essence of a GREAT swinging couple.
So we like to fuck each other as well as other swingers. Who is the judge of whether society accepts such behaviour? Our conscience is clear because we are totally comfortable - mentally - with swinging. And all because of HONEST and open communication with each other and our fellow swingers.
Cheryl and I "lust" each other. We admit, although not medically diagnosed, that we are both addicted to sex. As a couple we totally revel in the sex we enjoy with one another. Now swinging gives us a whole new and varied road of adventure - enjoying sex with others. We also have the added advantage that we are not married to one another, although we are "partners". We're both single / divorced and are the best of mates. I think that this is the crux of the matter: we trust each other implicitly.
The lifestyle is definitely LUST - for the opportunity to enjoy a variety of sex partners but at the same time ending up going home TOGETHER!! Oh, and the more you get the more you seem to want.....................
Lust, sex addiction or even just a very high sex drive is certainly not a disease, condition (in the negative sense) or an affliction. It just means that you're healthy - physically and mentally.
Desparation is something entirely different, as is downright dishonesty. In my view couples in the swinging lifestyle are honest and truthful - with each other and with their swinging partners.
I'm more than likely stirring up a hornet's nest but I question the motives of many (not all) of the singles on this site, especially the guys. Are they desperate? Do they just want to perve over the photos we post? Are they GENUINELY single? Are they perhaps cheating on their wives / partners?
Ons of our GOLDEN rules is that we do not interfere with anyone's marriage.
Besides the obvious desire for sexual pleasure we also want to meet and become great friends with the people / couples we interact with. It's the social aspect we enjoy equally.
We're organising a couples weekend at our bush lodge over the weekend of the 19th of this month. We would love you to join us. 5 couples, lots of cocks n pussies to eat, suck and fuck.
Let us know.....
Malcolm & Cheryl
A question was posed: When two people talk dirty in Afrikaans how do you refer to a cock?
Penis (too clinical), Tottie (childish), trul, paal, inspuiter..............
In English there are hundreds of names for a man's dick. Cock, prick, penis, semen syringe, manhood, dick, pussy pleasurer...................................
Then a woman's tiete, doos, poesie, kont, naaimasjien..........
Let's draw up an English list and an Afrikaans one and see who comes up (no pun intended) with the most inventive names - in both laguages.
Next time C & I are out having a meal or at a pub I'll encourage her to flash - she doesn't wear anything under her skirt!! That should get a few old Toppies' hearts pumping, besides having a story to tell later.
Not many members on this site use this forum. Indeed, I'm not sure how many even know it exists even though the button is right there at the top of the page. The horny bastards just want to go direct to the photos and perve.
You guys are correct. It's downright rude not to reply when you get "friended" or a message from another member. At least say something in return, even if it's just "not interested" or "not what we're looking for"
Tell me how we get more members to interact on the forum.
Looking for couples to join us at our bush lodge on the weekend 21st of this month - next weekend. Lots of fun, laughter, great company and mutual enjoyment
Situated in NW about 2 1/2 hours' drive from Gauteng.
Arrive Saturday morning, depart Sunday afternoon.
MUST be 40-plus
MUST be a couple NO SINGLE GUYS!! NO SINGLE GUYS!! NO SINGLE GUYS!!
Guys straight, girls preferably bi or bi-curious
Can only accommodate 4-5 couples so first response and confimation are welcome.
Contact us via our profile and details will be discussed.
Women over 40 and especially late 40s and 50s are truly awesome!
I am in my 50s and over the years have dated and fucked a range of women from 23 - the youngest - to 65. I am one of those guys/lovers who actually communicate with the woman I'm with and one of the topics of conversation is the age issue. Women have honestly told me that once they reach 40, and especially 50 their heads sort of click into another gear, sexually.
By this stage of their lives they have been there, done that. Been round the block a few times and all the other cliche's you might think of. There is a liberation and freedom. Generally the kids are grown up and pissed off to create their own lives. Sex at home (if they're still married) has become stale and boring. Alternatively, they're open and frank with hubby and become swingers - OH, YESS!! Or they're separated/divorced and are afraid their pussies will grow closed.
I have been in the fortunate position where I have "rescued" women from a life of celibacy. "You make me feel like a woman again" is the common reaction.
The best part of great sex, in my opinion, is communication. I'm not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kinda guy. I get turned on by a woman's wit and intelligence. Therefore women in their 20s and 30s actually don't have much in common with me. In other words, what the fuck do you talk to her about once you've bonked her, or to chat about at breakfast?
In conclusion: Women over 40 lose their inhibitions and fuck every time - EVERY TIME! - like it's the last fuck they'll ever have. Yay for old toppies!!
..............................or can you??
As a couple with absolutely no inhibitions we sometimes forget ourselves and assume that those people we meet are equally open and frank. The 'people' I refer to are those we meet as swingers.
There is a modicum of etiquette involved with a first meeting over coffee or drinks. We are all obviously aware of why we're meeting and what may transpire once we have all relaxed, buried the nervous tension and decided that we'd like to take the next step - what ever that may be. It could be an immediate attraction and shedding of clothes happens as soon as possible (seldom the case). Or (most often) arranging a get together at a convenient venue in the future.
In our heads we're dying to ask: "Wanna fuck? - NOW??!!"
We would walk in the mall or other public places and suss out other couples and would love to pop the same question.
A swift klap round the ear-hole or a scream for security would be the more likely reaction.
It would be great to walk around with a huge sign saying "WOULD YOU LIKE TO FUCK US?"
The promise or hint of what hides beneath the skirt/top/shorts. And the surprise of discovering no underwear................PHWOOAAARR!!!! Instant wet fanny and instant hard on.
It pays - no pun intended - to be open and up front when arranging a meet or night/weekend together. One of the first items mentioned when arranging a meet - even if it's just coffee - is that all costs are shared. It makes life simpler and there's no misunderstanding of how things work.
When arranging a meet, particularly a first time drinks or dinner date one should be honest and truthful about who pays for what. Yes, I am an 'old school' toppie and a gentleman but right from the outset Cheryl and I shared all costs and bills. This has also been the case with those we meet and host for sexy encounters.
Our attitude is "take it or leave it". If you're too bloody stingy to pay your share of the bill then I/we don't want to know you.
We host couples at our bush lodge and the arrangement is that everyone brings their own food and booze and small charge is required to pay for utilities and cleaning staff. Not once has anyone had a problem, or have we ever got the feeling that they were uncomfortable about the arrangement.
We're placing our facility at everyone's disposal, and we're there to fuck the bejeebers out of each other No, we have never made a cent profit. All costs are equally shared and we as hosts do not get a freebie. We also contribute. We are just too happy to be hosts and have fun.
We play with couples at our bush lodge. Everyone is nude EXCEPT that everyone wears a sarong - nothing else. It can be worn across the tits or just round the waist. The point is that the body is not totally nude. There is an erotic promise of what's under the fabric, and is easily accessible. More is less!!
If anyone has an urge or feels like sweeping the sarong aside for some rumpy pumpy then there's no need to fiddle with layers of clothing, buttons, zips, etc. And the sunlight through the wispy fabric showing a shadowy glimpse of a pussy or dick is YUMMY!! Instant hard on.
Trust, trust, trust. The key to all perfect swinging couples. We are in it for the sex, for goodness' sake. Never should jealousy become a factor. Cheryl knows I play alone from time to time - and she is fully aware of it, and vice versa. We get together afterwards and share war stories. In fact, it's a big turn on for us to relate our experiences. And then we enjoy awesome "back together" sex. An open, honest and truthful relationship is the key.
Cheryl and I are not married to one another. In fact, both of us are single - me 14 years, she 4 years. We are fantastic fuck buddies as well as the best of mates. All the other stuff which makes a perfect swining couple apply: trust, trust, trust, and being very comfortable with who we are - addicted to sex!!
Our biggest turn on for each other is the erotic buzz it gives us watching each other pleasuring and being pleasured (read properly fucked) by and with other people.
Share the joy!!
Yes, I am proud to be addicted to sex, and thank Aphrodite and Eros and any other God of Sex that there are people out there who want to share their enthusiasm and mutual addiction with us!!
