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SDM
6 hours ago
Straight White/Caucasian Male, 55
0 km · Middelburg
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Sex God
Quote by joyrider
Now the questions come. Please note I say Questions with a S.
Is it that we over do it when we are on the ball again?
Is it old age?
Is it stress?
Or is it that we do not use something to make us horny?
Or is it me when she wants it the man does not want to stand up and when I want it then she is too tired. In other words the timing sucks.
So who can give me some answers. Or does this also happen to other people. As I did read the one of the other cpls are also not meeting people now. Are they also going throw something like this?
Joyrider
I want it but nothing happens. :sad: :sad:
The simple answer to all your questions is YES (first let me clarify before I get hanged)this is in my opinion and with what I have experienced and discussed with other people))
Although it is not always the easiest thing to do, if you can manage to not stress about things like this they generally tend to pass quite quickly and mostly unnoticed. For me, stress is the single biggest passion killer, so stressing about stress is not clever now is it?
@ Joyrider, you guy's seem to have the perfect relationship, and the fact that you know this happens to you and also know it passes is reason enough to not be too concerned about it.
Sex God
Quote by Pussinboots1
Nope ,I was just taking a break after I wrote a snappy remark /comment on a forum and was slapped on my knuckles for being cranky.
But then suddenly all comments and forums stopped...sheesh....
NOW to get them going again.
PIB, resistance is futile . . . . . . . perhaps we should ask the site owners if they could create different forums. Then those of us who like to have fun in the forum can join one that is all about fun, those of us who want to talk about race and politics and language preference can join one that is all about that, those of us who . . . . . . . oh frig it, let's just change to pvt messages
Sex God
Quote by Pussinboots1
Music depends on what I am busy with....
I am mostly a country and western lover...YEAH, YEAH, all you snobbish people, who love classical music.
Depends on what you are busy with ??? . .. well in this case the question is what music make you cum . . .so now I have an image of you going YEHAH while swinging a cowboy hat above your head during an orgasm . . ..
Sex God
Quote by LeeEC
Personally I was just waiting for the sour pussies to bugger off so we can carry on chatting in peace...
Well, it seems like that is not going to happen in any kind of a hurry.
There are a lot of people who have a lot of good ideas on how to improve / change this site. . . . . oh, I'm not even going to go there.
Sex God
Quote by ash
The forum is a Phoenix ,when people have stuff to say it will rise again
Ash, everyone has something to say all the time . . . . . to prove it, all you have to do is post a topic about politics or race, and suddenly South African (Swingers) come alive . . . . . . those two topics are apparently even better than Viagra ! ! ! !
As for the rest of us who are actually here to talk about sex related topics . . . . dunno, maybe we should try and find out on which kind of sites people talk about the topic of sex . . . . .
@PIB, panties are optional . . . . would way prefer if you left them at home
Sex God
The funeral service for the late Swinging Heaven South Africa forum, will be held . . . . . .
WOW
A whole bunch of people tried to make the forum a good place to interact and learn, it only took two people and their efforts to practically destroy the entire forum .. . . .
Sad Indeed
Sex God
Quote by Deviants
I also don't think that once a thread goes off topic that, that it cant be put back on topic by a one simple post.
Seems a bit riducluous to say that discussions are not allowed to flow in whatever direction people take them.
Also once things have been said, they have been said. If people are not allowed to talk as they would say around a table, and conversation can not ebb and flow as it would naturally IRL, then the topics become stilted, old, boring and repetitive. And contributors leave or are less and less interested in contributing.
The forum isn't JUST a place to have serious discussion about sex and swinging related topics.
It's a place for PEOPLE to connect, converse and have fun. There has to be a balance between the two.
Maybe we should start a new thread for "serious discussions and advice"? Then those members who are having fun can commit to treating that forum as a "no playing around or hijacking" area? That way people who want serious advice or discussion can use that area for that purpose.I honestly don't think it's an either/or thing I think we can make everyone using this facility happy. The "flirt" forums are very seldom used and I often wonder why we even have them.
...If people are not allowed to talk as they would say around a table, and conversation can not ebb and flow as it would naturally IRL, then the topics become stilted, old, boring and repetitive. And contributors leave or are less and less interested in contributing.....
^ This....
Out of 30 odd thousand profiles there are but a handful of regular contributors/posters in the forums... Ever consider that you've just highlighted the reason for it?
Perhaps those who post PREFER to have their topic stay on course rather than be hijacked? It's gotten so bad there's actually a name for the group of people that are most guilty of doing it!
All in the name of humour and good fun.
Unfortunately there are people (including yourself) who do not see it that way.
I assure you, no harm or ill intention is ever meant.
Sex God
Another example of where I am ashamed to be a male of the species.
Sofistikitty, the woman could have had a hundred different reasons for wanting answers, but to me, all she needed to do was pack her bags and leave. Her husband clearly has a problem, and no level of understanding from her will change anything.
From a male perspective, I think that it's a case of the woman hold all the cards when it comes to sex, whether in a relationship, marriage or casual set-up. It does not matter how smooth or whatever a male is, a woman functions differently, if she is up for it, then it will happen, if not, then forget it.
I sometimes wonder if a mans brain was put into a woman's body, would you ever find him anywhere else but on his back?
Sex God
I also notice the ladies in the shops (I just shop for myself) and I agree with what you say, you get a real variety of ladies in the shops.
I like the way you have come up with the name "Upstairs" . . . . I also look at these ladies and wonder if they really do think they are better than others or if it is just me and the way I think about it.
I like the ladies that are naturally attractive, and their clothing choice just makes them more appealing.
Sex God
Quote by joyrider
Okay ladies as I am not allouwd to tell you ladies that are hot, good, looking or nice. then here is a different compliment which you ladies can not say is a creepy comment.
Ladies you all look so ugly today and your cloths you have on don't suit you or your body. Then I am not going to even going to talk about your hair style, because you must have put your finger in a plug to get it to stand that way.
Now what do I bet you guys the ladies are now going to say I am rude extra.
Joyrider
Trying to make all ladies feel good about them self's
I like this guy ! ! ! ! ! !
What you say is so true, it's a case of dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. Ons Suid Afrikaaners is maar n moelik klomp mense ne?
Sex God
Quote by Sofistikitty
So I love music, i love having sex to sexy music what music do you have or have had sex to?
I havent yet but would love to do it to these tunes:
John Legend - Tonight,
Janet Jackson - I get so lonely and Anytime & anyplace.
I fanatasize bout doing it with a certain guy whose hands i think are sexy lol you know who u are . Consider yourself "nudged" hot stuff.
If u havent heard these google it u might like it aswell
now this post I will watch closely, I have a feeling we are about to learn something.
Sex God
Quote by Gerrie2012
Having a swinger's mindset I know it's all about the rules between couples! If your rules (as a couple) are not the same as the other couple's rules ...... and you really want to play with them!? Then mutual respect should come into play (as ALWAYS!!).
If the male (of a couple) do ask to play on the side - the 'mutual respect rule' must again apply (this is where you firmly inform the guy that you don't have a 'playing on the side rule'!). I'm saying this because if you don't stand for a set of rules in this game - you'll be falling for every other situation!!
well said Gerrie, rules are one of the most important parts of this lifestyle, and if you (couple) cannot stand by your (couple) own rules, well you are likely to be disappointed.
Sex God
Quote by Deviants
Much has been said about fake profiles, fake profile pictures, people pretending to be something they're not, lying about who they truly are, etc.
Why is it that we've never encountered any of these things? Why is it that these people have never made their existence known to us and why is it that we've never been affected by whatever it is these people purport themselves to be?
The answer is a very simple one really…. Quality versus quantity.
'What do you mean?' is a question that might arise when anyone reads this post and here's the reply:
In 7 years of being 'lifestylers' we've had the absolute privilege of being participants in 8 'play sessions.'
To the casual observer and more experienced swinger this may seem like a very tiny drop in a very vast ocean. To us though, it's reflective of the choices we have made as far as play partners are concerned. Don't get me wrong here…. There are some folk we've met that we would love to have experienced play time with but circumstance is a cruel mistress who will not be swayed when she decides whether or not anything will happen with potential playmates. Admittedly, there are only a few folk with whom this has happened and, when the time comes, that will be set straight
As far as we're concerned, the quality of the people we've met, those with whom we have shared ourselves and those with whom we will share in future is indicative of the type of people we are proud to call friends and we thank them from the bottom of our hearts for enriching our lives in so many varied and unique ways.
And to those with whom we will, undoubtedly, engage in future….. We're looking forward to it!
I think that what you have said here is very important, especially for anyone who is new to a site like this or even new to the lifestyle. I think too many people are of the mindset that it would be lots of sex from all over, and the reality is that it is not really like that.
I have encountered a number of people who have "Talked the talk", but could not "walk the walk" and I have encountered those that I had thought were only talking who then turned out to show me how to walk.
I think that you have the perfect approach when it comes to the choices you make regarding this lifestyle.
Perhaps those people that seem to encounter talkers all the time are not approaching it the best way, but everyone has to learn as they go along.
Sex God
Quote by Deviants
Take a good look through all the previous posts in this forum. It's surprising (and saddening) to see just how many folk get shot down simply because their opinion is different to that of someone else.
I'm not saying this is the only reason for so few contributors but it does have a rather large part to play.
Another thing i've seen is just how quickly a particular topic gets degenerated into something completely off-topic. I can only speak for myself here but to me it smacks of a lack of respect to the person who makes the initial post as well as to those who have a relevant reply to said topic.
Perhaps if people felt that their posts were being taken seriously and that they felt they would not be ridiculed or belittled, they may be more inclined to actually make a comment or post something worthwhile.
Just my two cents
I agree with you that in some cases, people get shot down because of their opinions. But that is more the exception than the rule. UNFORTUNATELY, most people seem to think that somebody else giving a different opinion to theirs is some kind of attack, when it is more often than not, just the person putting a different view point out for people to think or talk about.
To me, the forum is a good place to learn. We have the chance to learn about how people function, how they think, what they understand differently to us. If people think they have been shot down, they should ask for clarity, and ask in the forum, that way anybody else who also thinks that person was shot down, can offer support and another view point.
As for topics going off subject, that does indeed happen. But again, it is not an "attack" it's an opportunity that someone seized to start a different forum discussion. Perhaps the rest of us involved should highlight the faft and have the new topic moved and maybe the person who started the first forum, should just make another posting about their topic (in their original forum posting) to get the topic back on track, instead of just throwing their hands up and getting all huffy & puffy.
Sex God
Quote by LeeEC
15!! That's brilliant - the way to get more contributors is to first get more READERS!
So we are half way there!
Everyone invite your friends!
Queen Bee (spelled LeeEC), that is the source of my confusion . . . . people only seem to read and not contribute (well, unless it has something to do with political issues) . . . . they steer clear of the sex topics, but who can blame them, this is a sex site after-all . . .oh, wait, that would mean . . . . . .
Sex God
Quote by Adonis
Ek glo almal gaan in die oggende in die forum om te kyk of daar nie iets nuuts geplaas is nie. Moet se dit was nogal opvallend die hoeveelheid mense in die forum.
Maar soos gewoontlik was dit maar weer net dieselfde mense wat probeer om die forum aan die gang te hou, die een of twee vreeemdes wat waag om hulle nekke uit te steek maak 'n onbetrede opmerking en verdwyn dan ook net so vinnig.
Ek raak nogal bekommerd en sluit my daarby in, dat ons wat gereeld in die forum is krapperig raak en dit kan mense negatief maak. Kom ons almal probeer meer positief raak en ignoreer enige negatiewe reaksie en dalk net dalk kry ons meer mense om die forum te geniet
:thumbup: Kom ons try . . .
Sex God
Quote by redbruce
Hi SDMR,
Yip, I was one of them! Lurking around, reading everything that's been written, but seldom posting. I'm not really into the "banter" posts, being generally a "quiet type", but rather just making a comment now and then when I believe I have something useful to contribute.
There you are - I "fessed up"!!But I'm only one of 12......!
Haha, and my post has been read by 8 others already.
By the time I had finished posting, there was 15 people on-line in the forums. I am not complaining about it at all, as people are entitled to their own ways, I just found it a little unusual.
Sex God
So between 09h30 and about 10h00 this morning there was between 7 and 12 people "online in the forums" at any given stage.
What I am confused about, is that nobody wrote anything at all .. . . . last write up was from before 09h00 . . . . . I always thought that humans had lots to say, especially online . . . . seems I was wrong . . . . .
Sex God
DILEMMA
One friend said to the other, 'What is a dilemma, actually?' •
He replied, 'Well, there's nothing better than an example to illustrate that.
Imagine that you are lying in a big bed with a beautiful naked young woman on one side
and a gay man on the other.
Who are you going to turn your back on?
Sex God
Quote by Daduke
Hello all you genuine swingers out there. I have to have my say on something that really bugs me. I am in the lifestyle to meet genuine and like minded people, this is proving to be harder than expected with all the fakes and thrill seekers on the site. They waste our time and are very rarely honest.
I also find that there are a number of lonely people out there who in the wee hours of the morning join the site in order to fill the empty void....... or in hope of filling the void. Once again a total waste of time.
How do we avoid this SH? cant you regulate the site usage a little more strictly?
What are your thoughts? genuine swingers.
If the site usage was regulated to be more strict, you would never have been allowed to join.
As for people not being honest, this is Africa dude, Africa which is in the place called the World, and the topic is Sex, so expecting 100% honesty from a cyber person . . . . . well, enough said!
Swinging while strictly speaking is for couples, the couple are also often interested in a third person, and normally, they want that third person to be unattached to avoid complications, hence the "opening" for single people.
I would strongly suggest that you have a look at your mindset and decide what you are actually looking for, and I have no doubt your success rate will improve dramatically.
And as for people (males) looking at your profile, you have pictures in the gallery, they are going to get looked at, and that then shows up on your profile.
Sex God
Quote by Respect
Ok every one lets vote were is the best place to dogging in Jhb ?
Once we find out we all must go there
from what I have read about this topic in this forum, the best place for dogging is right here on line, because nothing seems to happen anywhere else. But I really do hope your effort here works out.
