Found school, family, friends or colleagues here?

So we're a couple, very discreet..!

There's so many profiles on here that shows faces, we're a bit too shy to even show what our bedroom looks like in the hope someone doesn't identify it! We've got a very professional, clean minded attitude towards friends and colleages. With a 180 degree turn online and in bed!

Do the couples on here that show their faces not care about being discreet? Or do you just have enough confidence that your family/friends are not on here?

Have you ever seen a photo on here or elsewhere that you were able to identify someone you know?

Would love to hear everyones thoughts on this.

Does being discreet meen you only want to share with who you first chat to on here? Maybe you've got a hot collegue on here that works with you every day!

I see there's a lot of locals in my town/province on here and I must admit, I scan through profiles in the hope of finding (catching?) someone I know and going... Ha! You dirty minded person, we could have hooked up ages ago!

Please share your insights!

This one is definitely not as easy as you would think .

In a perfect world, anyone you see here or sees you would keep your secret or you would keep theirs . Just because everyone is here for the same reason , right ?

Sadly no . We used to have face pics on a previous profile , and was recognized by people that apparently knew us. Could never figure out who they were , but we believed it was a married man pretending to be a couple but could only ever meet alone. So we turned him down a few times .

Long story short ....

We started hearing rumors about us and eventually had to delete the profile and lay low for awhile. And obviously cut and lost a lot of social ties.

We never could pin point who outed us, or if it was coincidence. But when we came back we never displayed face pics publicly again .

But it is important to show something, as people does need a reference point to establish if they are interested. The goal here is having sex after all.

Our advice is be careful not everyone here is here because they embrace this lifestyle. Some is just lonely creeps

Quote by daphil

This one is definitely not as easy as you would think .

In a perfect world, anyone you see here or sees you would keep your secret or you would keep theirs . Just because everyone is here for the same reason , right ?

Sadly no . We used to have face pics on a previous profile , and was recognized by people that apparently knew us. Could never figure out who they were , but we believed it was a married man pretending to be a couple but could only ever meet alone. So we turned him down a few times .

Long story short ....

We started hearing rumors about us and eventually had to delete the profile and lay low for awhile. And obviously cut and lost a lot of social ties.

We never could pin point who outed us, or if it was coincidence. But when we came back we never displayed face pics publicly again .

But it is important to show something, as people does need a reference point to establish if they are interested. The goal here is having sex after all.

Our advice is be careful not everyone here is here because they embrace this lifestyle. Some is just lonely creeps

Very true, I won't be happy if someone would have exposed us to friends and family, can only think of the problems it would stir..

Would like to hear other people's thoughts!

Hi so we have never showing our face photos on here but my wife does have very telling physical attributes so she has been asked by a few people if it's her on sh which denies if she doesn't feel the person wil be discreet but if she feels we can trust the person she lets them know it's her so far we have been lucky not to be outed

As for friends and family we have not found any family in here Yet but we have found friends and we have actually taking some friendships to anther level of course not close friends but more people you know and we lucky not to be outed also but we also learnt very early on you have to keep you circle small and if you get a gut feel you can't trust a couple or single walk away

To be honest the swinger community has gotten so big in South Africa over the past 5 years that you would be crazy to think that you will not meet someone you know it's bound to happen its just how you deal with it when it happens not to scare you off

Quote by fadnad

Hi so we have never showing our face photos on here but my wife does have very telling physical attributes so she has been asked by a few people if it's her on sh which denies if she doesn't feel the person wil be discreet but if she feels we can trust the person she lets them know it's her so far we have been lucky not to be outed

As for friends and family we have not found any family in here Yet but we have found friends and we have actually taking some friendships to anther level of course not close friends but more people you know and we lucky not to be outed also but we also learnt very early on you have to keep you circle small and if you get a gut feel you can't trust a couple or single walk away

To be honest the swinger community has gotten so big in South Africa over the past 5 years that you would be crazy to think that you will not meet someone you know it's bound to happen its just how you deal with it when it happens not to scare you off

And I think most people are very discreet out in public and hides it, so we might even be with friends that feels the same and might never know because they won't tell you- neither do we. It's always a chance of them either being like minded or being against it.

We won't display or share face photos as at some stage it leads to problems.

But we saw photos of people we know in serious play, as we recognised their pool area.

Could not see the faces as they were faded over but if you knew them you would recognise them.

We never mentioned it or spoke out nor contacted them to play.

But soon rumours about them circulated in our friends circle and we saw they deleted their profile.

Quote by Chappie

We won't display or share face photos as at some stage it leads to problems.

But we saw photos of people we know in serious play, as we recognised their pool area.

Could not see the faces as they were faded over but if you knew them you would recognise them.

We never mentioned it or spoke out nor contacted them to play.

But soon rumours about them circulated in our friends circle and we saw they deleted their profile.

Totally agree we had a work mate of my wife who visited us a few times notice our pool area also so ever since then all our photos are taken at hotels and B&B and if we do take at home we filter out the backround

It's sad that people in the lifestyle are the ones starting the rumors when in this lifestyle been discreet is so important and is the one thing every single and couple asks for

Quote by fadnad

Quote by Chappie

We won't display or share face photos as at some stage it leads to problems.

But we saw photos of people we know in serious play, as we recognised their pool area.

Could not see the faces as they were faded over but if you knew them you would recognise them.

We never mentioned it or spoke out nor contacted them to play.

But soon rumours about them circulated in our friends circle and we saw they deleted their profile.

Totally agree we had a work mate of my wife who visited us a few times notice our pool area also so ever since then all our photos are taken at hotels and B&B and if we do take at home we filter out the backround

It's sad that people in the lifestyle are the ones starting the rumors when in this lifestyle been discreet is so important and is the one thing every single and couple asks for

We never mentioned it to anyone.

But obviously someone did.

"Why worry? We are all on here for the same thing".

Bull dust. Mrs works in an industry, where WITHOUT men knowing that she is in the lifestyle - she is bombarded on a weekly basis by married vanilla men flirting and propositioning.

If they were to find out what she enjoys in her sexy time, she would NEVER be able to get her vocation concluded without some sort of "this for that" propositions by men.
And people talk. Its irrelevant that they might be swingers themselves, but you can bet your bottom dollar that the conversation they have with arbitrary people go something along the lines of "...I heard from my friend that's a Swinger that Suzie is a swinger! Can you believe that shit? Never knew she was so wild". People like to talk and make themselves feel better about having a perceived upper hand over somebody. Its a human condition. We just prefer not to give anybody any ammo.

We have also been the target of harassment by nefarious individual who used our very intimate and private images in an attempt to gain some level of control over us. After getting that matter sorted legally, we opt to not have anything that ties us to the profile on public display.

There is also a couple on SH that use our face pics to pass off as their own. Imagine our surprise when good friends sent us a screenshot of a Whatsapp convo they were having with this couple, who had sent them our image as they proudly remarked "Hierdie is Ons". I hope they read this. Because they know very well who we are and we suspect they know that we know. Karma is a bitch you twats. Can't understand their logic in doing so. What are they hoping will happen when they lure an unsuspecting person/s to a meeting? Can't buy brains or class we guess.

Quote by 2some4fun

"Why worry? We are all on here for the same thing".

Bull dust. Mrs works in an industry, where WITHOUT men knowing that she is in the lifestyle - she is bombarded on a weekly basis by married vanilla men flirting and propositioning.

If they were to find out what she enjoys in her sexy time, she would NEVER be able to get her vocation concluded without some sort of "this for that" propositions by men.
And people talk. Its irrelevant that they might be swingers themselves, but you can bet your bottom dollar that the conversation they have with arbitrary people go something along the lines of "...I heard from my friend that's a Swinger that Suzie is a swinger! Can you believe that shit? Never knew she was so wild". People like to talk and make themselves feel better about having a perceived upper hand over somebody. Its a human condition. We just prefer not to give anybody any ammo.

We have also been the target of harassment by nefarious individual who used our very intimate and private images in an attempt to gain some level of control over us. After getting that matter sorted legally, we opt to not have anything that ties us to the profile on public display.

There is also a couple on SH that use our face pics to pass off as their own. Imagine our surprise when good friends sent us a screenshot of a Whatsapp convo they were having with this couple, who had sent them our image as they proudly remarked "Hierdie is Ons". I hope they read this. Because they know very well who we are and we suspect they know that we know. Karma is a bitch you twats. Can't understand their logic in doing so. What are they hoping will happen when they lure an unsuspecting person/s to a meeting? Can't buy brains or class we guess.

It's soo crazy to hear how many couples have be blackmailed or pics stolen or been taking advantage of

From a law side just so you guys know if someone used your photos with out permission with the new law it's jail time of 5 years if found guilty ask how do we know we had our photos stolen and been decent people we sent the profile a msg to ask him to remove them and he sent us back a big FU so hubby been in the tracking industry we tracked down the guy and sent him a lawyers letter and he very quickly took them down the crazy thing is he is still on sh and his profile has a tick next to it

You have to develope very thick skin on sh or the crazy people on here will put you off the lifestyle and swinging but it's the same on every website of swinging

Have you reported this profile to the mods? If you have a case reference number we are sure they will take action and ban him.

Quote by 2some4fun

Have you reported this profile to the mods? If you have a case reference number we are sure they will take action and ban him.

We have reported him and the couple profile was banned but he has a single profile which is verified

If somebody whose profile you have never seen blocks you, chances are fair you have been outed.

Ok but here is the catch: If anyone you know “recognized” you here and takes it further how do they explain being here themselves? Understand the irony but rather live & let live & mind one’s own business

The above are examples of the "ugly", scary even, but there might also be some fun to be had.

A while back, at a 'vanilla' braai a good (longstanding) friend of mine confided he had recognised me on the sight. At that time I did not know they were even interested in any form of swinging. We since then we have had some great times.

Must say , I enjoyed all the posts ,but a bit horrified of what can go wrong but my advice is to say fuck off it’s my life and I will do what I want to, cut the ties, is to out yourself. To do this I wrote a story well a lot of stories and posted them all , so rather than rumours ,I say just read my story , and learn to fuck off if they don’t take no for answer, then download even more pics, and write stories about them.

I have recognized someone, and low and behold we felt the same. Some nice times since then.

Never show face pics.

The reason is, we know of 2 couples who did, and who were blackmailed by people who joined this SH group just for that reason. They trolled all profiles and befriended those with face pics.

They then found out as much as they could about the couples, including cell numbers. Using the cell numbers via True Caller type apps they identified the couples, did their homework , found them on Facebook and that took them to their jobs, families and friends... that's when the demands started. One couple, where the wife is a CEO of an estate agency Co (national brand), paid R300k to stop the threat of being exposed. It didnt end there, so they got a Private Detective involved, and hence we found out HOW the bastards did it. NEVER, EVER, SHOW YOUR FACES, or send face pics until you have vetted the other party and met them in the flesh at a public place.

Quote by ruffnmuff

Never show face pics.

The reason is, we know of 2 couples who did, and who were blackmailed by people who joined this SH group just for that reason. They trolled all profiles and befriended those with face pics.

They then found out as much as they could about the couples, including cell numbers. Using the cell numbers via True Caller type apps they identified the couples, did their homework , found them on Facebook and that took them to their jobs, families and friends... that's when the demands started. One couple, where the wife is a CEO of an estate agency Co (national brand), paid R300k to stop the threat of being exposed. It didnt end there, so they got a Private Detective involved, and hence we found out HOW the bastards did it. NEVER, EVER, SHOW YOUR FACES, or send face pics until you have vetted the other party and met them in the flesh at a public place.

We feel exactly the same.

Also know of a bi bloke who was blackmailed.

Did not happen here but on a similar group.

Couldn’t agree more. In fact even non-swinging social media platforms have as much a risk for data & identity theft & harassment. Bring in the swinging element & the risks get compounded. Had a terrible experience personally (not SH specific) where an attempt at extorting money was made by individuals purporting to be Cops with a claim of a sexual assault case being opened against me. Matter was resolved & turned out to be a popular extortion racket but much better to be safe than sorry. Swingers need to respect anyones choice as far as how much information they put into the public domain. Quote by fadnad

Quote by 2some4fun

"Why worry? We are all on here for the same thing".

Bull dust. Mrs works in an industry, where WITHOUT men knowing that she is in the lifestyle - she is bombarded on a weekly basis by married vanilla men flirting and propositioning.

If they were to find out what she enjoys in her sexy time, she would NEVER be able to get her vocation concluded without some sort of "this for that" propositions by men.
And people talk. Its irrelevant that they might be swingers themselves, but you can bet your bottom dollar that the conversation they have with arbitrary people go something along the lines of "...I heard from my friend that's a Swinger that Suzie is a swinger! Can you believe that shit? Never knew she was so wild". People like to talk and make themselves feel better about having a perceived upper hand over somebody. Its a human condition. We just prefer not to give anybody any ammo.

We have also been the target of harassment by nefarious individual who used our very intimate and private images in an attempt to gain some level of control over us. After getting that matter sorted legally, we opt to not have anything that ties us to the profile on public display.

There is also a couple on SH that use our face pics to pass off as their own. Imagine our surprise when good friends sent us a screenshot of a Whatsapp convo they were having with this couple, who had sent them our image as they proudly remarked "Hierdie is Ons". I hope they read this. Because they know very well who we are and we suspect they know that we know. Karma is a bitch you twats. Can't understand their logic in doing so. What are they hoping will happen when they lure an unsuspecting person/s to a meeting? Can't buy brains or class we guess.

It's soo crazy to hear how many couples have be blackmailed or pics stolen or been taking advantage of

From a law side just so you guys know if someone used your photos with out permission with the new law it's jail time of 5 years if found guilty ask how do we know we had our photos stolen and been decent people we sent the profile a msg to ask him to remove them and he sent us back a big FU so hubby been in the tracking industry we tracked down the guy and sent him a lawyers letter and he very quickly took them down the crazy thing is he is still on sh and his profile has a tick next to it

You have to develope very thick skin on sh or the crazy people on here will put you off the lifestyle and swinging but it's the same on every website of swinging

We have been in the lifestyle for awhile now. Bumped in to our boss at a swingers club. Not shy that our picture is shown as we were honest with our friends and family about it. Alot of personal friends that have seen our profile around. Would send us a message saying are you into it aswell. But never went any further. So why should we hide our photos .it's a open minded friendly life to be your real self with your partner making friends that are like minded. The lifestyle is not judgemental

Quote by ruffnmuff

Never show face pics.

The reason is, we know of 2 couples who did, and who were blackmailed by people who joined this SH group just for that reason. They trolled all profiles and befriended those with face pics.

They then found out as much as they could about the couples, including cell numbers. Using the cell numbers via True Caller type apps they identified the couples, did their homework , found them on Facebook and that took them to their jobs, families and friends... that's when the demands started. One couple, where the wife is a CEO of an estate agency Co (national brand), paid R300k to stop the threat of being exposed. It didnt end there, so they got a Private Detective involved, and hence we found out HOW the bastards did it. NEVER, EVER, SHOW YOUR FACES, or send face pics until you have vetted the other party and met them in the flesh at a public place.

This here is the golden rule of any adult site.

I dont have an issue if someone see's me here ! Family friends colleagues does not matter.. The stark Reality is that if someone (Family friends or a colleague) see's me here means they art also interested in teh scene which makes it good right ?

Quote by Joz_Pao

I dont have an issue if someone see's me here ! Family friends colleagues does not matter.. The stark Reality is that if someone (Family friends or a colleague) see's me here means they art also interested in teh scene which makes it good right ?

With you here. If they are here then we share a similar interest 😏 could be fun.

Bratty I would be happy to be seen with you anywhere. Lol

We show faces our kids and friends know we swingers and love us regardless, we are not ashamed of who or what we do, but proud

Quote by BadlyDrawnBoy

If somebody whose profile you have never seen blocks you, chances are fair you have been outed.

Chatted to a lady here couple times...then silent...till we crossed paths,I knew I recognized her but I played dumb,was actually first ever meeting her,she came up to me and stated she knows me,I just laughed it off and walked away...never in the mood for people's games

Quote by daphil

This one is definitely not as easy as you would think .

In a perfect world, anyone you see here or sees you would keep your secret or you would keep theirs . Just because everyone is here for the same reason , right ?

Sadly no . We used to have face pics on a previous profile , and was recognized by people that apparently knew us. Could never figure out who they were , but we believed it was a married man pretending to be a couple but could only ever meet alone. So we turned him down a few times .

Long story short ....

We started hearing rumors about us and eventually had to delete the profile and lay low for awhile. And obviously cut and lost a lot of social ties.

We never could pin point who outed us, or if it was coincidence. But when we came back we never displayed face pics publicly again .

But it is important to show something, as people does need a reference point to establish if they are interested. The goal here is having sex after all.

Our advice is be careful not everyone here is here because they embrace this lifestyle. Some is just lonely creeps

Fully agree

I was at work the other day and figured out of the over 1000 people in my building, at least one MUST be on this site? I would love to have a naughty connection at work, but the risks of cultivating that connection in terms of HR exposure if you misjudge the situation.... I don't have appetite for that...