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SDM
5 hours ago
Straight White/Caucasian Male, 55
0 km · Middelburg
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Sex God
Quote by Andre3000
I hope you guys read when you entered this site..."Swinging Heaven South Africa is the number 1 free swingers and dogging site for South African Swingers and , chat, find friends and like minded couples or singles for partner/wife swapping fun.
Funny how when we (myself included) respond to posts such as the original one here, we Almost Always forget to add the Dogging part apart the site . . . .
Sex God
When I, or you, or him, or her, or even that couple over there initially signed up to this site, there was no confusion about how it works, or about who could or could not create a profile, about how the searching and contacting and winking and gallery and even forum features worked, and we still signed up and created a profile with all this knowledge.
Yes, these members can be a little irritating or a little frustrating and what not, but people, this is the real world with real screwed up people who are probably mostly under the age of 21 who now have a platform of anonymity available to them, what did we expect to happen?
Sex God
Quote by LeeEC
Did you hear something? I thought I heard someone whining.... *sigh*
No volunteers. .. so sad. .. My hubby wants me to find a visitor for the wknd, but I can't find anyone with a decent arse and the brain cells to rob together. ... what do I do?
#QueenoftheThreads
Sorry, I was checking my travel plans
Sex God
Quote by Respect
Dude... I don't know if using the word "desperately" is going to do much for your cause....
I think the word desperately will do a lot
I see the Russell Brand comment is better and the one you use to use some think aboult loseing your teath I hear that went down well !!!!
I think this is about to become entertaining . . . . . Respect, I think you have bitten off WAY more than you can chew here . . .
Sex God
Quote by PerfectFit
I think for a single guy looking for couples the "rules" are slightly different.
If a single guy contacts us and asks for a meet we generally do ask for a face pic so we can see if there is some attraction - yes that sounds shallow but we have to try sort the wheat from the chaff.
We do return the favour and open our face pics album though
I am sure that there are a number of people who just like you are totally "above board"
the problem with the "if there is some attraction approach" is that the person may be a seriously good looker who cannot string two sentences together, and on the other hand, a person may have all the same interests and desires as you, but because they may not be photogenic, they get the negative nod . . .
Sex God
Quote by PerfectFit
One of our pet hates is single guys using a couple profile, knowing that being a couple gets them further as most couples ignore single guys.
Examples of this-
- A couple who have recently split up and it says so in their profile
- A profile that states that the wife isn't keen but in the meantime he is browsing
IMO in these cases the profile should be deleted or changed to a single profile
Rant over
A pet hate of many people I am sure.
Best I can suggest is that you try not let it irritate you too much, and just move past it. They have less chance than you do of meeting up with someone.
Sex God
Quote by LeeEC
It's quite true. .. There are plenty of couples online who are definitely not BOTH into this idea. A bunch of us EC girls ( SH members, female partners) have decided that the key is to find couples whose female partner is the main active member on the site. But I can see how that might not work in your case SDMR.
I'm sure though that the statistically more likely scenario is one where the female is more reluctant. ...
We met a couple about 4 months back, and the first chance she got she told my husband that she had no interest whatsoever in swinging. Apparently he's been trying to get her into it for years and won't give up and so now her standard MO is to tell the guy in no uncertain terms about her complete lack of interest as soon as she can.
Wish she'd said something before and saved me the trip to meet them.
It is really something totally beyond me, how can anyone (male or female) willingly put their partner through something like this, knowing full well they are not comfortable with it? Do they not grasp the fact that all it is going to land up achieving is resentment which will in all likely-hood lead to eventual break up.
Lee, you the female of the species don't really understand how lucky you all are. While there may well be a small percentage of men who have been allowed to completely dominate their ladies, in general the old concept of "I have the "kitty" so I make the rules" puts you in control. (Male readers, pay attention to that last sentence)
Being slightly older than young, I have had more than one relationship, with some of them I had to put my takkies on, with others I had to remember to wear my beach sandals (slops / plakkies) but once I learned to do this, with some little subtle suggestions, I always knew what would and what would not fly . . . .
I dunno anymore, but thank goodness for regular "normality" type meetings, otherwise I might have considered changing my ways . . . . oh, at least I make myself laugh
Sex God
Ok, so what is worse than getting to a "meet" and finding out that the lady of the couple you are meeting is not so keen on this activity?
Getting to a "meet" and it's the man who is the less than keen one . . . . .
I cannot understand how people (male or female) can put their partners under such pressure, it is really beyond my comprehension . . .
Guy's if she is not ready . . . . . forget about it, don't do that to her
Ladies . . . . well I guess if he is that wimpish, you will just have to deal with the major jealousy issues that are on the way
This is a lifestyle for mature consenting adults, not just for people over a certain age
Sex God
Quote by LeeEC
So wait a minute... first looking at your junk does nothing to us compared to what looking at our naked necks does to you guys. And I'll be the first to say that women are, in general, oblivious to the effect they have on men. Mostly because, well you guys have trained us to believe that to be able to look at us is what you guys want and expect...
Ok second, you don't think that how you look matters as much to us? Ok, the thing is you men figured out about 100 years back how to get exactly as much eye candy readily available for yourself as you could possibly desire, come today, with a click of a button you can feast your eyes... now just coz we girls don't do visual like you guys do, doesn't mean we don't have our own kryptonite...
Besides, if you knew what it was, if you really knew how to tap I to what we want, well then we'd be dropping like flies at your feet... :twisted: but the sad truth, women seldom know what it is to feel really desired, because you've all got this silly free eye-candy getting in the friggin' way.
*sigh*
Ummmm??? ok then
Sex God
@RedBruce,
You do of course realise that now every-time I pass a young mans car who has a Bandanna hanging from his mirror, I am going to think about this?
Some 20 year old lightie is going to be busy in his citigolf bonking his GF and when he looks up he is going to find a bunch of old farts staring into the car . . . 
Ok, but seriously, the suggestion of some or other identification is a good one.
Ok, but seriously, the suggestion of some or other identification is a good one. Sex God
So, I have been around this site for a year or so, and to date like most others on this site I have had a "hit & miss" experience here, ie: some successful meets and some unsuccessful contacts, a bunch of people that where we just chat with no intention of ever meeting, some no shows and a large number of disappearing acts.
BUT . . . . (there is always a but)
lately it seems like the newest trend is:
Step 1 = Hi
Step 2 = request pics
Step 3 = (after ignoring anything that was written is previous message) request pics
Step 4 = (after ignoring question re: why they want to see pics before establishing any kind of compatibility) request pics
Step 5 = request pics
Step 6 = (after you send a let's rather not message) request pics
Yes, I know it will simply just be the "luck of the draw" I am having at the moment, but really people, make it clear in your profile that your requirements are pics before talking (will be way less frustrating for yourself too)
lately it seems like the newest trend is:
Step 1 = Hi
Step 2 = request pics
Step 3 = (after ignoring anything that was written is previous message) request pics
Step 4 = (after ignoring question re: why they want to see pics before establishing any kind of compatibility) request pics
Step 5 = request pics
Step 6 = (after you send a let's rather not message) request pics
Yes, I know it will simply just be the "luck of the draw" I am having at the moment, but really people, make it clear in your profile that your requirements are pics before talking (will be way less frustrating for yourself too) Sex God
Quote by Stamina
I have been thinking lately... I am not a "horn-dog"! I prefer a ladies company to her vagina. Spending time with an intelligent and beautiful woman is the most amazing thing... Beats sex by a mile! Don't get me wrong, the sex is more than welcome but not instantly. Once the chemistry has devoloped and that so called "click" happens after spending time enjoying each others company, then the sex that follows is so much more amazing. The best scenario for me: Meet a great girl, get her number, call her the next day and set up a date. Take her out within a few days and spend the whole date just listening to her... Then a second date, then a third... Then maybe a full day together for a picnic or something along those lines... Then finally after a few weeks, she may be ready for the next step, she must suggest that we spend a night together, not me. Then the preperation... Clean place, candles, air freshener, dim lights, music... She MUST be impressed, very important to make her feel that she is not being used that night, she must feel wanted and not have any regrets. Never take from a girl what you can't give back! And that night must be absolutely special... Slow, intimate, passionate! The whole night until the sun rises! She must go home the next morning with a smile from ear to ear! Happy that she slept over and not leave with doubts.
..
Interesting approach, let the rest of us know if it works . . .
Sex God
Quote by LeeEC
No Stamina you make an excellent point. And I think you are right on the money. No one who doesn't have a little self respect is going to get much from others.
But I would like to make one point. . MOST couples on here are actually the male partner on behalf of the couple so this is really a case of married "horndogs" sharing their boner material. ... and then getting upset when okes are disrespectful to their wives.
Also one more thing. Most of the people (women) bitching about this behaviour here are not THOSE couples who show off their "wide open vaginas" on their profiles. .. I don't and that doesn't make any difference to the respect factor in some cases. .. so are you basically saying that all boys are dogs and we should just get used to the flea problem?
Labelled under the "in-general" category again . .
Men like to look at pics of female genitals, yes (but I guess females like to look at male genital pics too)
Most females are "happy" to look at a picture of a mans torso showing six pack blah blah blah
A male is subjected to looking at a woman's belly, small of her back and even breasts all day long, in the office, in the shops, in the bank, you name it, and it is on display there.
A mans torso is very seldom on display for a lady to look at.. . . . . . do I need to carry on ????
Sex God
Quote by Respect
I explan briefly
I moved to Sa From Uk 7 years ago with my SA Partner
We have bought a house , 2,Childern ect
But I am so unhappy and feed up with it
What do I do ?
If go back to uk start again I am 37 look for job ?
Here I work with my partner so if I separate I would still have to look for a job this side ?
Any advice out there ?
Step 1 . . ..
Find out what the "problem" actually is.
Step 2 . . . .
that all depends on what the answer to step 1 was . . . .
Sex God
Well, as a male of the species, I more often than not do not enjoy it when people generalise about males.
Yes, there are 100's and 100's of things that are always going to be more or less the same, but there are so many areas that males differ.
I would think it would be the same with the female of the species, so maybe just try and look at a situation like this one as an opportunity to be glad that you have a different way??? dunno, just my two cents worth
Sex God
Ok, so to start off with, maybe the excessive use of the phrase LOL is why you can't sleep, your mind is not sure about how old it is or what gender it is ????? ok, that was really just humour.
I would hazard a guess to say that there are a rather large number of men / boys out there who think something along similar lines to what you have said, but in reality, any lady / girl / woman etc who was available at a drop of an sms (hat) would not last 5 minutes with the aforementioned men / boys etc . . . . WHY? well we are idiots, we are always wanting "easy access" to sex, but the moment there is some available we immediately label the lady / girl / woman etc as something horrible . . .
So maybe the ladies / girls / woman etc are not actually too conservative for this, but rather they are wise and mature enough to know that the male of the species is not mature enough . . . . .
Sex God
If one looks through lets say the, Gallery on this Site, there seems to be minimal Black / Coloured / Indian pictures as opposed to White pictures, if one browses profiles, one also seems to find a rather minimal amount of the said Black / Coloured / Indian profiles as opposed to those profiles of White people . . . . . . . SO, where am I going with this you ask ?????
Well now, if we call it say a 80 / 20 ratio, then it would seem as if very few of the White profiles would actually ever be approached by the (for the purpose of this sentence) Non-White profiles, so this is actually a (edited by clever people) race issue and not a sexual preference issue . .. four five six people, stop making everything in this country about race, if someone contacts you and they don't fulfill all the requirements you have, then simply say "thank you but no thank you" . . or, just keep making a big song and dance about it, and anyone who might have met all your criteria will just continue to see that you are actually an A-Hole and they will just go past your profile . . . .
Well now, if we call it say a 80 / 20 ratio, then it would seem as if very few of the White profiles would actually ever be approached by the (for the purpose of this sentence) Non-White profiles, so this is actually a (edited by clever people) race issue and not a sexual preference issue . .. four five six people, stop making everything in this country about race, if someone contacts you and they don't fulfill all the requirements you have, then simply say "thank you but no thank you" . . or, just keep making a big song and dance about it, and anyone who might have met all your criteria will just continue to see that you are actually an A-Hole and they will just go past your profile . . . .
Sex God
I have to wonder, is it really only the young "members"?
I am approaching my mid 40's, and the people who grew up in the same era as me (and before) have a certain level of respect / tact / class etc, (not all of them of course) the late 20's to early 30's these days lack that (not all of them of course)
People are not scared to get banned, because the profile is banned not the IP, so it's simple to just create a new profile. The reactions these kinds of people get are exactly the reactions they want, so all we are actually doing is feeding the problem . . . .
