There should be a support group for this, honestly.

“Hi, my name is… well, let’s just say I’ve been promised the world, and delivered a brochure.”

Because really, how many times can one woman hear, “You won’t walk straight for days”… and still wake up the next morning making coffee like a fully functional adult?

Still waiting. Still hydrated. Still very much walking straight.

Enter: The Youngster.

Full of confidence. Swagger dialed up to eleven. The kind of energy that makes you think, Alright… maybe this one read a book or two. Maybe this one studied.

Spoiler: He did not.

They arrive like a TED Talk on confidence. Words flying. Promises stacking. You start to think, Wow… this might actually be something.

And then… Execution.

Or rather, the lack of it.

It’s like watching someone run a marathon in their head… and trip over the starting line in real life. Spectacular enthusiasm. Zero follow-through. Somewhere between attempt one and attempt… well, let’s not even number them… you realize:

This is not a performance.
This is a rehearsal that nobody prepared for.

And please, please, someone needs to tell them:

This is not a race.
There is no gold medal for “fastest to absolutely nowhere.”

Also, narrating like a badly dubbed movie? Not helping. Not even a little.

At some point, you just lie there thinking about your grocery list, your emails, your life choices… and yes, your very reliable, very consistent, zero-empty-promises collection of “investments” i.e. fully charged, ready to satisfy on short notice, sex toys.

Because here’s the truth nobody puts on a t-shirt:

A mature woman is not a vending machine.
You don’t just press a few buttons and hope something drops.

No.

You need to engage the mind first.

Because the mind? That’s the control center. The boss. The overthinking, analyzing, occasionally distracted, but ultimately decisive authority.

And if you can’t get past that… Well.

You’re not even in the building.

So while the youngsters are out there with their bravado and borrowed lines, somewhere in the distance, a calm, experienced presence exists, the kind that doesn’t need to announce anything.

They just… deliver.

Consistently. Effortlessly.

Without a single motivational speech beforehand.

Until then?

I remain unconvinced. Unimpressed.
And very well aware that “three attempts and a pep talk” is not going to rewrite history.

So gentlemen, young, bold, and hopeful.

Bring skill.
Bring patience.
Bring curiosity.

Leave the ego at the door.

Because trust me… A quick “uh no” travels much faster than a well-earned “uh yes.”