The Profile that sends "hey" and disappears the moment you respond?

The Profile that only messages when they're in a particular mood and then vanishes?

The Profile that insists on moving to another platform but never actually meets?

Yeah - we have all experienced the chat ghosts - and it really is difficult to know which person to invest time with, and whom to ignore - but in the end, your chat history is the only preview you can get before deciding whether to meet - the time-wasters, the fantasy-only guys, and the people who actually want to connect in person.

Some of my experience on the site: Of course, a little altered, so that no one feels hurt - but, let's call a spade a spade.

The dude with the platform switch: Great initial contact, seems genuinely interested, but quickly insists we move to other platforms "for privacy" or "easier to chat there." I agree, share my details, and then get a bare "hi" or "hey man, what are you up to?" with zero context of who they are or reference to our previous conversation. I have to play detective to figure out which site person this even is. Then, after my detailed response - complete silence. Three days later, maybe a "sorry, was busy" and then disappears for weeks. No continuation of the conversation we started, no plans to meet, just endless small talk resets that go nowhere.

Lesson learnt: If someone wants to move platforms, they should at minimum identify themselves and continue the actual conversation you were having. Otherwise, they're just collecting contacts.

The dude with the horny schedule: Amazing chat when it happens. Sends exactly the right messages, shares fantastic pics, has compatible fantasies, shows genuine interest in what I'm into. The chemistry in messages is undeniable. But I only hear from him at very specific times - usually late night or specific parts of the week when his schedule allows for some alone time. As soon as that moment passes, so does his interest in communication. Weeks can go by without a word, then suddenly, when he's in the mood again - there he is, picking up as if no time has passed. Zero intention of ever meeting in person - the chat itself is the entire point for him.

Lesson Learnt: Be honest about what you're using the chat for. Some people use it to find actual hookups, others use it as interactive porn. Both are valid, but be upfront about which one you're doing so nobody wastes their time.

The dude with the six-month cycle: Out of the blue, message appears: "Hey, I have your number, keen to chat." No profile pic I recognize, no identifiable name. I politely ask who they are, and they say we chatted "a while back" but offer few details. We start from absolute scratch, building rapport, sharing interests and fantasies. Messages flow regularly for days, plans start forming to meet up, a date is tentatively set... and then, silence. Complete disappearance. Exactly six months later, the cycle repeats with zero acknowledgment of the previous vanishing act. Eventually I realize it's the same person who periodically purges their chat history and contacts, then gets bored and reaches out to old numbers without any continuity or reliability.

Lesson Learnt: Don't delete your chat history if you plan to contact someone again. Context matters. Respect people's time by remembering your previous interactions. If you've flaked before, at least acknowledge it.

The dude with the elaborate requirements: Reaches out with extremely detailed messages about what he's looking for. Sends a dozen photos from every angle. Has a specific scenario in mind, down to positioning, activities, duration, and aftercare. Asks for confirmation on each detail, requests reciprocal photos to "make sure we're compatible," and starts planning logistics. Location is discussed, timing confirmed, even shower arrangements clarified. Then, an hour before meeting time - disappears completely. Phone goes to voicemail, messages unread. No explanation, no cancellation, no rescheduling attempt. Just vanishes as completely as if he never existed.

Lesson Learnt: Commitment phobia takes many forms. Someone obsessing over every tiny detail might actually be building up anxiety about the real meetup. Confirmation should go both ways - check in with each other as meeting time approaches to ensure you're both still comfortable proceeding.

The dude with no etiquette: No greeting, just immediately sends explicit photos without checking if you're even available to chat. Messages at random hours expecting immediate responses. Gets annoyed if you don't reply within minutes but disappears himself for days without explanation. Shares screenshots of conversations with others. Asks intensely personal questions while offering nothing about himself. Jumps straight to planning meetups without establishing any comfort or chemistry first. Completely disregards the normal social conventions that make online interactions pleasant and safe.

Lesson Learnt: Chat etiquette matters. Check if someone is free to chat before sending sensitive content. Respect privacy. Build rapport before planning meets. Be consistent in your own response patterns. Basically, treat the person on the other end of the chat like an actual human being, not a dispensable entertainment option.