Pasting in from sexysam69:-  We base rules and what we believe to be normal conduct on what we were conditioned to believe since childhood.

I do believe being *open minded* is something most of us would like to think we are,and YES, it is true for the person who think they are open minded. For them on their lives journey it is true. For someone else who is on a higher level of their lives journey it may seem they are not as open minded as what they think they are. Which is also true.
I, myself know, we all change our own morals and beliefs, as we grow older and experience and want much more in life.
Just think back on your journey through your sexual development in just in the swingers community!  You usually start out just having same room sex, then you go to the next level, having sex with a different partner as long as your spouse is also in the room doing the same. Moving on again, you start having sex in different rooms out of the vicinity of your spouse  it goes on and on ......this makes a person think you are open minded  and YES you are, you are developing!
I also find that over time in the swingers community, most(not all,BUT a HELL of a LOT) couples tend to get *bored* and looks for newer sexual highs and different stimulations and then move on to explore the more KINKY side of sexual interludes.  Now that could be just a*vanilla* kind of sexual kink for the start...Like being blindfolded, tied up to a bedpost...and then the process moves up again as they develop their level of exploration...
So lastly  I say, as we grow in our sexuality, to know something & to learn new things, then only, do we develop real open mindedness. and YES, there is always someone who is MORE open minded than what you, yourself believe to be.

I say sexysam 69 is right in all regards as is SDM with his google search and *choice*

Me, as narcissistic as I am, are always right of course!!!!  LMAO......

I am out of topics to talk about!!!!

I was thinking of you guys can give us all a topic here that we can discuss. IF I *know* about, whatever you want to discuss, I will do the work of creating a new Fora about whatever. I know I ran out of ideas on what you guys are interested in as I mostly did talk and posted quite a few topics in the past years , before I left.  So I am not sure what we can discuss and what is boring.

OR, I am warning you guys, I might just bombard this fora with KINK, as that is what I know the most about!! and I just know KINK scares most people!!!

So please guys think and add some topics we can discuss,  even just one word might help!!! get my mind on the roll. 

@PoohC   The First time I heard this part....marrying each others partners.   Makes me wonder, IS both couples still together??? You only mention the one couple???  And Now I also wonder if they KEPT on swinging together??? Are they at least still friends. Please do tell me!!!

@sxyfun   I just loved to read that you understand me, and you can vouch, that just by wearing sexy red lingerie, that it gave you that extra boost to kick ass. I agree you do feel so much better about yourself if you wear sexy undies.

You ask a very important question.  Now I feel this demands an answer that we thought about before making an comment.

All I can contribute is my own observations and experiences over the years.
MOST certainly people, especially us women, becomes attached to their FREQUENT sexual partner/s. Now this statement should be looked at closer.
Mostly us women are the culprits here, we do tend to become fond of the persons we have sex with and I do believe most women will agree with me. Men on the other hand, does not really become attached easily, sex is just a sport to them, HOWEVER you do find the odd goose who does become attached and over jealous in his pursuit.
Now becoming attached can cause Problems in itself and sometimes it is just a normal progression between sexual of course DEPENDING the status of your partners and yourself, is also a factor
.
IF you are married or playing with a married couple, you (even if you are a part of a couple) SHOULD never become to attached to the other person/s you are playing with. This will only lead to heartache and divorce, for you and your sexual is WHERE the rules of Swinging and sharing your spouse comes in affect. I hope I need not mention the rules here as you are certain to KNOW or at least have read about on how to establish *distance* between you and your sexual partners, and to keep your own attachment to your own partner healthy and strong. IF ANYONE is not up to date with this, PLEASE do go and read up on this!!! 

If you are a single  and playing with couples, you should always prevent becoming too attached to either of the couple, we really should not be here if we cannot do that, you surely do not want to become the *OTHER* woman or man breaking up a couple. IF,  you as the single, finds that it is ONE of the couple,  who is becoming attached to you...BREAK off all contact with that couple, and NEVER allow this to go any further.  THAT is why most couples will not meet anyone alone, once again read up on rules of engagement to keep in mind when you are starting to play as a single, and always  ASK what the rules are for the Couple...There is couples who play  and allow their spouse to play alone....BUT beware of that little devil,  ATTACHMENT!!!!!

The only time an  Attachment is really kosher is when it is 2 singles meeting up, and playing, depending on what their OWN rule is for themselves. Some women and some men do not want to become attached and if the one becomes attached,that will cause problems, Then heartbreak also follows....

Over the years I have seen and heard all scenarios happen, and I found that heartache and divorce is always the result.

@Padda_lover     Eish, Sorry I got lost, I am not very bright sometimes, though it seems the  interracial topic gets resurrected so frequently, if you go back to just last year you will find  LONG fora`s on it, as well if you scroll back 3-4 years ago might be longer, you will also find quite a few fora`s with the same topic. If you are interested.  But yeah we do sometimes forget we all bleed red, when injured.

Thanks for giving me a great compliment, me ol` heart feels good!  

@Padda_lover    I learn a lot myself from the comments made here in the Fora.  How true, society determines that you can not wear red and orange together and many many more `s...Bull-shit I say, wear what you please and like!!!  

@redbruce    LOL, yeah you can really wear what you like, I would think a dark color for nightly dogging.

@SDM   Why hello Mr SDM. Man, I miss the *R* part of your previous *nick* I still somehow think of you as SDMR. 

Anyways I think a LOT of people, mostly men will not think sex addiction could be bad for you, and would love to be addicted. Mostly I think most men are sorta *dependant* on sex itself!!! At least a little stroking is needed once a day if not twice, if no intercourse is available, or am I wrong??

Well someone who is really, REALLY addicted to sex, will soon know it! As their lives takes a turn for the bad and they spiral out of control, heck of their whole being, and that of their family. I am sure not anyone would really  like being addicted to sex per se, just the thought of having sex at least once a day if not twice, is most men`s fantasy.  So I am sure, I will not wish this condition on anyone.

As for *trying* to be something you are not....I do believe everyone should at least try anything they have a fantasy about, EXCEPT (kids and animals and true ). Only by trying everything and experimenting one can decide what  you as a person like and who you are.

But I also know some people use a description word for themselves, without really knowing what it means and then when the reality presents itself they balk and dissapear.(thinking kink again  Dominant and slave and submissive and switch.  If I might elaborate, double penetration for men, MOST men do not realize that being inside a lady together, they ARE going to touch, their balls will slam against each other, and most importantly, they WILL feel each others cocks through the thin barrier of the perineum between the anal chanel and the vagina. and yes sometimes a cock slips OUT, and one of the males has to put it back!!! and it might just not be the one who that cock belongs to. Or am I wrong?? Now they go and say they are not even bi friendly.....  ermm  excuse me!!!!!!!

@redbruce   Sorry no,  here I am out of my depth, Not sure there is a certain color for Dogging  Maybe a nice nude color  LMAO.

Ahem...I went a googling again.....  found the MOST interesting Item..... a nice *pasting in*   crewneck sweatshirt made up of 50% cotton/50% polyester fabric, the colors are from black, grey, heather, maroon, military, navy and white. with the next  *pasting in again* One Legging it Around I'd Rather Be Dogging.  Does that help????

Just a thought... I never heard of the colors heater and military...but looking at the pictures- heather looks like a VERY LIGHT Grey   whereas  military is the military green color.

@Padda_lover   You should not have started me on any kind of Kink...I am relentless ....

Black is typically used to indicate SM, either a Sadist or a Masochist. At any BDSM gathering you will find the majority people will wear black! 

But colors do play a big part in any BDSM community, Most of the color art is lost thought.

I found that the latest generation op people in the BDSM community are NOT inclined to really try and  apprentice under a master/teacher. they only want to have the gratification of the here and now! Hopefully this might change.

Just to give you an idea of what colors means in the BDSM community, or should  really mean, as not many adhere to this code anymore.

WEARER..

White,  someone who is new/vanilla  and looking to find a partner maybe a to go slow.

Blue,  someone who is willing to mentor,help, teach, this is a safe elderly person.

Purple  someone who likes CP giving or receiving. (spankings)

Red  someone who bites....or really not in the mood to do any scene. Caution is needed approaching this person.

Yellow  someone who is into watersports giving or receiving.

Green  someone looking for someone to play with...usually unattached and open minded.

JUST TO name a few colors.

Please do remember, this color is displayed either wearing it as a shirt, pants, or just having a piece of cloth displayed somewhere on your body.

It is like a person having a flogger or whip hanging down as a piece of their attire. Telling everybody else at the gathering that they are a Dominant/Domina

Like a TAKEN/ATTACHED Submissive/slave wearing a collar.

Like a Dominant/Domina wearing a black leather wristband.

HOPE I have not bored you guys!!!

@haveusbc    You asked why  I am claiming on being asexual...LMAO....okay Here goes.

Some people will say you are only BORN being asexual.

Some will say a big trauma made you asexual.

Some might claim, asexuality is NOT caused by any chemical imbalance.

I believe your own sexuality can be decided by you (in the manner that people should not tell you what you are, rather you can decide that for yourself). This also means you can decide whether you believe it is a choice, you are born with it, or a mixture. It`s up to you. Some will say that you cannot choose, at all. I say it is up to you how you would like to perceive it, and how you wish to experience it. It should also be remembered that people change over the course of their life, and this means many things can change, including sexuality. A person should also remember that Asexuals are not afraid of intimacy. Many asexuals want and are in relationships, with not only other asexuals, but sexual people as well. I claim that it is due to my menopause. Anyone who wants to differ is MOST welcome to say so! Or anyone who has more facts, please do share!

Choosing to say I am asexual does not take the fact away that I will always remain a tactile person, I love touch I love cuddling....and it seems my dirty mind has not changed at all!

Hope this answers your question

@haveusbc  I believe there is beauty in EVERY person, you just have to get to know each one to find the hidden beauty!!! If I am honest I prefer my females and men, LESS beautiful!!! I find the really beautiful people who Knows they are beautiful, spoiled and superficial. I try not to waste my time with them.  But a Brunette (male or female)does catch my eye instantly. Sadly you find more bottle blonds than the real deal. As for mutual feelings  Sadly that is just life....one cannot really like every person one meets. Just as long as we respect each person we do meet.

@coupleno9  I am sure your lovey likes to get an unexpected lingerie gift. And you of course, like the modeling part of that lingerie.....

@Padda_lover   You said it...Red is and will always stay the color of lust and love.

@haveusbc  I think you should thank your lucky stars you get laid at least 5 times a week. I know couples who is lucky to have sex once a month (if he is lucky) and I know there is more people like my one friend out there who is in the very same boat. I also know that MOSTLY being married means less sex for MOST couples.  As for me  Well I am asexual these days..so NO sex for me per se....for MONTHS ...Well that is the new normal for us....

@ Henny55   I was not attacking anyone/person with my comment to coupleno9, I was just giving my own observations over the years. and saying the people are not weird/or sex addicted at all, just over jealous with their pursuits.

share with us your favorite color to wear to feel sexy in, being male or female...does not matter please share. What is  the color clothes a lady or man wears, that attracts you personally?

I have found that the color red is a very primal color (the color of love, think of Valentine day).Red is mostly used by females when they feel sexy, black a near next,  white not so much as it is preceived as viginally pure. Although white in itself is very sexy to me.

Wearing sexy lingerie in the above colors makes me as a female, feel sexy although no one can see what I am wearing. If I am need a moral boost, wearing a nice color is really something I need. Not so much red as before, but really nice subdued colors lately, like a baby blue,pink,light green. BUT ....If I do open my clothing cupboard you will find mostly black and navy these days. I still retain a few sexy pieces of red. SADLY I also have to admit to my lingerie changing to be more functional than sexy!. Think of old granny beige bloomers and you have me! How sad is that?

I like men in nice jeans/leathers/ and body ink.... sexy!!! I think I always will!!! Shirt wise....a nice sexy clininging t-shirt in a color to bring out the color of their eyes, depending what the color of their eyes are. A Suit wearer, NOT so much...now what does that say about me, I wonder....
Which gives us the next question.
Do you feel more attracted to blonds with blue eyes, or a natural red head with a nice shade of green eyes, or a brunette being it a dark brown hair to black hair with a nice chocolatey brown eyes?
I like brunettes more if I am honest,  but my lovey was a natural blond with chameleon eyes...the shade changing with her mood...green to blue to gray blueish. She is now naturally grey and still sexy in my eyes!!!!  She refuses to dye her hair.  I myself like to change my hair color to the colors I  feel like at the time, usually a tint of reds browns,gold, and black mix (so kapok hoenertjie kleur).... My lovey likes the color seagreen and If you open her cupboard that is the shade of most of her clothes. She of course ROCKS her jeans!!!!!And of course NO granny Panties for her......she wore and still does high cut bikini panties.

So share your favorite color...and what attracts you to certain ladies /men that wear certain colors. And lastly but not least,  what color of hair and eyes are you attracted to the most.

@coupleno9   Men at swingers parties are usually limited to only a very few single males, so most men there, is usually married. Usually the single ladies are encouraged to attend such parties by giving them discount on entrance fees and maybe some free booze for the first *happy* hour.  Maybe things have changed since I left the active scene. But that was what was usual in my time.(although I found the large difference in the amount of entrance fee for men too females to be really astronomical, and slightly unfair. I say this because sometimes a male has to save up the fee for  entrance while sometimes the female could easily pay the same amount with ease without saving up for a month or more...This is unfair in my eyes, because we as females always moan about equality...just seemed unfair.) Although I did understand the motivation behind the vast difference in the amount as entrance fees.

I have found that  some of the women as well as some of the men gets overstimulated and all rules applied to the swing scene flies right out of their heads. Specially when booze is used to *relax* them, (that is why I did not like anyone who drank to much to even approach me)  Somehow their inhibitions are totally lost when preceiving a female/male showing all her/his assets. Then they get rude and demanding when said No to.

I believe  the weirdness you might be talking about is these individuals who`s perception of the sexual interludes/ nude people they are watching, and then approach in these rude demanding manner as being a tease or just plain difficult and they feel the lady /male is sexualy Promiscuous, instead of  just that they are more open to sexual interludes. Thus the *weird* people should just really understand the word NO and NOT interested. Which they do not. Thus they might not really be weird or addicted to sex, just assholes!

Just my own 2 cents worth.

@haveusbc   Sure, lucky we all know it is NOT just the females that ages and have bodily changes.... men grow hair in their ears & nose that grows grotesque,  have sagging balls & shrinking cocks, do not get erections that lasts, most have a *bier pens* and larger boobs, and they also get a lot of wrinkles...but where we ladies are sort of okay with our changes there is some men who start panicking and flit from one YOUNG lady to the next younger one....and those little ladies,  well do not let my say anything about their motivation....

As for what is to much sex and what is to many partners...

I know having a person masturbates to the extent that they can not keep their hands outa their pants and from their crotch Is a first indication.   Having said this,  just a reminder, I am NOT talking about a YOUNG adolescent  boy who has discovered the pleasure of having a penis....

Someone who has starting to neglect his/her daily routine & work for the sake of searching for new partners, just to drop them at the blink of an eye for the next conquest. Thus flitting from one person to the next, in one day. Losing control of their jobs/getting fired/or resign...many other indications of personal deterioration.

A person who had *normal* sex starts to ask for extreme acts of lewd sex. Now that depends on a person's view of what is lewd or not...many would say anal is lewd, some would say double penetration is lewd, some might say playing with toys is lewd... only with a background investigation one would be able to determine what was *normal* before the NOW.

A person who browses a lot of pornsites (here again we might differ as a sexual addicted person is actively active and social, while a porn addict is mostly alone and secluded and never meet partners in real life.

A person who becomes distressed, anxious, restless, and possibly violent if unable to engage in a sexual activity.

A person becomes less inclined to adhere to sexual safety, forgoing condoms and cleanliness. Many would start paying for sexual partners, when they cannot find willing partners quick enough.

This is just a few indications I know about, there may be MANY MANY more indications and only with a thorough back ground history taken from a person who suspects he/she is addicted one can make a positive diagnoses, and even then, one could not really make a medical diagnosis like alcoholism and drug abuse.

There however is like with any addiction, ways to get help.

@Voyer1105  Your spouse sounds like a wonderfully open minded lady!  

Thinking about my own asexual status at this time...I feel you have only slowed down, not stopped at all, so on advice for testosterone....maybe your doctor will prescribe the little blue pill??? IF ONLY needed of course...

@coupleno9  Thanks for partaking in this Fora and Welcome. Please feel free to always add something to all posted Fora`s, the more diverse opinions we read about a subject, the more we all learn something.

You give great information on how to treat your spouse to ensure, both partners in a couple, stay happy and vibrant. I just want to add that the ladies should also do the very same for their hubbies, that is something we should not forget.

As for people you think is addicted to sex...you seem to say they act weird, care to elaborate  as you seem to have met a few of the people who seemed addicted. It would give a nice perspective to read about that part.

@ Henny55   I found a LOT,heck way to MANY wives being coerced into the lifestyle. It is a thin line walking when you introduce or talk/ask your spouse if they also have the swapping fantasy. I also found that once you meet a couple,you soon pick up that the wife is NOT keen to be where they are. Jealousy is also a way bigger problem than what most people realize. Being it from the either the female or the male. BUT that is between couples and there is a lot of literature for potential swingers to absorb and take note off. 

@haveusbc  Being mature and more independent and less worried what society prescribes and demands as being sexy,makes most ladies more open minded towards any sexual encounter and they begin to explore unexplored areas as they become more comfortable in their own bodies after a certain age.

@Henny55    I hear you.  

Sadly it seems the penis smorgasbord has dried up..or should I say shriveled up...

We live in a society where it's mostly men who ask for sex from women. That's perfectly fine. Women are strangely not seen as sex-seeking beings. Mostly people think it weird when we do find the odd female who wants and demands sex.  Does this make the female a nymphomaniac or males a satyriasis or a person who is sexually addicted to sex or some might even say those males/females are just plainly perverted. Who decides how much sex is too much? And how do we determine when a person is out of control?  Sexual addiction,  participation or engagement in sexual activity,  is a topic that many don’t want to linger goodness Being a sexual person these days you never get diagnosed as being mentally ill anymore. And you most certainly are not  forced to undergo torture like having your clitoris removed or having to wear a chastity belt and many others being a female. Men however never seemed to have had the same problem.

I do know a few married ladies think and frequently tell their hubbies they are sexually addicted, sheesh some even file for divorce for the same reason. A woman will only be described as wanting sex too much if her partner cannot satisfy her.

My thoughts on the whole subject is whether it is nymphomania, satyriasis, hypersexuality, sexual compulsion or addiction, it is totally in the eye of the beholder.

Me,  I was never a nympho nor addicted.  I would say most people would think me perverted, I myself would  not ever think so myself. I am just a normal female who likes/ed what she likes/ed....

I want to know if there is anyone out here who think their partner is addicted to sex, or would you describe yourself as being addicted to sex or just plainly a satyriasis or nymphomaniac?

@PoohC  If the ladies gave consent (and asked to any photos taken and being *felt up* while drugged with a sleeping tablet, I would find NOTHING wrong with it, as the lady gave consent and knew what would happen. And she would see the photos taken of her when she does wake up...and in most cases a sleeping pill does NOT make you comatose.

(AND) any case,  MOST drunks will say they DO NOT remember doing something while intoxicated, but if you really talk and discuss things, you soon realize they do remember, they just feel too ashamed to acknowledge the things they have done while so drunk they could not move.

There is people being female or male who loves the fantasy of being ...these kind of sexual fantasies and role play scenarios  make our sex lives even more fulfilling. Few of us feel comfortable sharing this though. It puts most people on edge and makes us feel a bit *wrong*.

I found that most people (mostly ladies) whom has this kind of fantasy going, does not really want the violence that surrounds the act itself, they just do not want the responsibility of the sex act itself.(Hope this makes sense)   So yeah, if the lady CONSENTED and ASKED for being ravished when sleeping...go for it.

@abe123  Thanks for the info.  A larger GH seems  giving a decent handjob made easy. I seem to remember someone once mentioned having full on intercourse through a GH as well.   Boy, I am smiling now, that last bit about the toiletrol sounds like something I would/could do.....  How embarrassing for the poor chap.... Glory Hole Advertisement going something like this..*Toiletrol Glory Hole all in one*....  just think about all the possibilities.

@swingfantasy    There you have a sorta answer to your original posting...walla....Montague Gardens. Just not sure where exactly in Montague Gardens.

Ahhh .....I STARTED letting the toys go to GOOD new homes. SO SAD!!!!

Hmmm,  I am  a fully reasonable and open minded lady when it comes to sex, there is however a few things I WILL never Tolerate. 

One is children/animals and of females or men. 

The TAKING of any kind of photo where the other partner does NOT know about it and it shows that poor person in a BAD light (which a drunk passed out female or man is) is just in my own personal view,   indecent.

I know it does happen all the time, just watch social media, and you will find a lot photos of those poor humans being exploited like that. Think of the angry boyfriend, jilted fiance`s and  ex-hubby/wife posting their intimate pics somewhere for someone else to look at.

Now just to think there is a female undignified enough to become drunk, falling down drunk..sheesh  that to me is just not on!

But whatever rocks your boat......a fantasy is just a fantasy HOPEFULLY!!!!

Or just for fun...use a peg...and peg the guy!!!!! NOW I mean a normal clothes peg, yeah, not a strap on pegging.

Laughing again  Man this has my mind going *hondered bedonnerd* right now... and I do have one EVIL mind!

I can just imagine the HORROR if someone BITES a cock that is on offer!!!!  What to say being threatened by a nice sharp knife....  JUST thinking.

I really also had to smile reading this Fora.

As a female you guys might think it is only something for you guys BUT let me tell you there is quite a few ladies who has a  fantasy to be the one who gets to do the oral on the unknown cocks pushed through that hole...

MYSELF, hell. I will NEVER do that unless it is at a party where I know all the people!! NOW. I know that is not really what a glory hole is about.  BUT to me it is just safer and I know the men will be clean....

A fact is I know that such a glory hole party can be fun.

Just a thought to Curiouscliff .  Heck, I would, if you ever go to a real gloryhole at some bar/sexshop or where ever...take a few condoms with and use over those unknown cocks......just a thought though....

As for swingfantasy  Seems there is no one who reads the Fora who can direct you to a glory hole.

My question to both of you who might have had MORE experience with a gloryhole than me.   How in the world do you give a REALLY good handjob to a guy if you cannot play  with his testicals and ass and legs and nipples at the same time??  JUST asking...