I am so sick and tired of vanilla (boring) sex that I can head but the wall!! We have tried some light bondage, sex in different locations, toys, movies, you name it... No matter how much we try and "shake things up", it still just feels like the same old thing.
For me (and I believe most men) a ffm threesome is the ultimate goal to achieve with regards to sex. I have tried every possible approach and tactic and angle to have this amazing fantasy fulfilled. I simply want to part of it, soft play more than welcome. It just does not (and will not ever) happen!
All I hear is "be patient", "change your approach", "choose profiles differently", etc, etc, etc... Hogwash!!! Lack of success has driven me from frustration to anger to plain and simple disappointment! In the real world, a couple charming a lady gets you absolutely nowhere and just ends in the lady seeing us as "weirdos". We thought we had a chance with the "FHM" girl and it seemed like the ice was broken, until ( a few days ago), we had her out for drinks. She told us of a new assistant that works for a manager where she works that is lesbian and came onto her recently... When my girl asked her how that made her feel, she said "it freaked me out and I would never touch another girl - it's gross"... Hard work and perseverance ending in yet another disappointment. We have so much to offer a potential "third party". They will adore us! We are great entertainers, excellent company, sexy as hell, and definitely all round "lekka" people to be around. Plus the lady that joins will have the time of her life and will be totally satisfied as we will make our mission to pleasure her!
Site after site after site! No replies to messages, disappointing replies to messages, Endless chats leading nowhere. c'mon man? Hundreds of females advertising for it and not a single one willing to take the plunge! How the rest of you see single males on this site is how I see single females - total waste of server space and waste of people's time! It's time get with it ladies, if you not going to meet, get the hell off these sites! Go do some knitting or sewing or something, leave the adult things to real adults! Actually, all the people, couples, males, females on here to play games, find a new hobby!
I know you have all heard my complaints before and I know it gets old, but seriously - is it really time to accept that this just won't ever happen? I am at breaking point and genuinely considering leaving my girl to be single and go out and become a man whore, just to get more out of life! Don't get me wrong, the sex is great and wild and intimate and all the good things that it should be... But it is not enough. I am bored as hell! I am this close to sending her on her way and paying two prossies to fulfill my fantasy! I too have a bucket list, and a threesome is on that list.
What to do?
That's easy, take a breath and remember . . . . . you will feel better in a short while. At this stage, you run the risk of a fantasy, becoming an obsession!!!!!
That's easy, take a breath and remember . . . . . you will feel better in a short while. At this stage, you run the risk of a fantasy, becoming an obsession!!!!! Dude, I am Soooo oooh effing done with the same old boring Crap that life has to offer! I might feel better in a short while yes, and then tonight it all comes back when I shag my lady!!! She will do her best as usual to make sure it's interesting for me and I will do my best to make sure she is pleasured but it will still be the same old boring thing! I am tired of seeing the same Breasts over and over and over again. I am tired of feeling the same vagina over and over and over again. I am tired of doing the same old routine for her pleasure because she likes it that way!!! Unfulfilling sex life always leads to infidelity! She wants to have a girl join us more than I do! She will do whatever it takes to keep our sex life interesting... But that means absolutely nothing if there no one in existence to join us! It has been a humour point but now it is just not funny anymore. This is a swingers site filled with people that don't want to swing! I don't see swinging as only partner swopping, in my view swinging is vast array of "adult activities" where couples involve other people in their sex life. So having a female or male join for a threesome is swinging in my opinion. I enjoy the site, I love the forums, I stay a member for many reasons but at the end of the day, I am here to meet people face to face and ultimately have some form of sexual encounter. But everyday the usual waste of time... Log on, no messages, spend some time browsing profiles and sending polite messages, browse the gallery and send more messages, pop into the chat room and see who is talking about what, read the latest ads and respond to relevant ones, filter ads for females looking for couples and respond to relevant ads... I then end up on the forums and chat with my "cyber friends" as that seems like the only reason to stay a member. I am a loyal guy and I promised myself that I would not cheat on Katie, but I like variety in life. I can not just have one car, or one bike, or the same bed linen, or visit the same bar, or wear the same clothes... I also can not feel the same Boobs every single day, night after night! I know what her naked body looks like, what she feels like, smells like, etc... I need to see, touch, feel, taste something else every once in while. There are only three options: 1. A lady joins and get to experience someone else with her consent and in her presence. 2. I cheat with someone else without her knowing and get to experience someone new because that someone will find joining a couple weird. 3. I leave her and experience some one else as often as I want and she does not get hurt...
Steve Harvey says sometimes u gotta have standards but if u want a realistic person drop them abit. U guys are a sexy couple and u always talking about fhm models. Not all of us are magazine level sexy. I honestly think girls are intimidated by u as a hot couple. I feel that way and u haven't even approached me. So imagine. What on ur wishlist of the perfect partner can u scratch off or forgive?
Stop looking for it also, check out chicks profiles and leave it at that. Let them come to u. And go to clubs, what other fantasies do url have. Go and experience them. A watched kettle never boils, let this be what it has to. Ur approach is good, but maybe u approaching the wrong women?
Quote by Stamina There are only three options: 1. A lady joins and get to experience someone else with her consent and in her presence. 2. I cheat with someone else without her knowing and get to experience someone new because that someone will find joining a couple weird. 3. I leave her and experience some one else as often as I want and she does not get hurt...
Or maybe it's time for a fourth option: Change your immediate goals . . . . you say more than once that it is for both of you. So, look for a guy for threesome, look for a couple for soft swap / full swap. Look for a couple you can just watch, hell, look for a couple who will just watch you. All things come in time, sexual excitement comes in many forms, maybe enjoy what is easiest come by and you may actually learn something that leads to making your original goal a reality. Oh, and before someone else gets the opportunity to knock you for certain comments, maybe just change the tone of the way you express your frustration with your regular piece of A...S . . . sounds more like you have relationship issues than unsuccessful swinger searching issues.
Quote by Sofistikitty Stop looking for it also, check out chicks profiles and leave it at that. Let them come to u. And go to clubs, what other fantasies do url have. Go and experience them. A watched kettle never boils, let this be what it has to. Ur approach is good, but maybe u approaching the wrong women?
We agree with Sofistikitty... on approaching the wrong ppl. As a couple that have been in the lifestyle very long that have build friendships for almost as long i can tell you this ... the last couple of years at our private parties we have more woman then men (last week we had 3 single girls) and seeing fmf play is very norm rather than the unseen. I think ppl in the life style are 90 % plus barking up the wrong tree.... read the profiles you are contacting don't just look at the pics then send mail.... you'll get a surprise often.... Look for ppl that have been in the game long, ppl with experience ....you'll end up lucky
There are only three options: 1. A lady joins and get to experience someone else with her consent and in her presence. 2. I cheat with someone else without her knowing and get to experience someone new because that someone will find joining a couple weird. 3. I leave her and experience some one else as often as I want and she does not get hurt...
Or maybe it's time for a fourth option: Change your immediate goals . . . . you say more than once that it is for both of you. So, look for a guy for threesome, look for a couple for soft swap / full swap. Look for a couple you can just watch, hell, look for a couple who will just watch you. All things come in time, sexual excitement comes in many forms, maybe enjoy what is easiest come by and you may actually learn something that leads to making your original goal a reality. Oh, and before someone else gets the opportunity to knock you for certain comments, maybe just change the tone of the way you express your frustration with your regular piece of A...S . . . sounds more like you have relationship issues than unsuccessful swinger searching issues. The ideas you give are noted but not for us. Don't want another male involved. Men are dogs (in general) and I don't want some perve having her, or even seeing her. It's not jealousy but just a preference. She is on the same page, she has zero interest in other men (part of a couple or single). Males do jot turn her on, females do. We watch adult films together but she will only allow me to put on a girls only video. The whole idea of taking the sex to a new level is about the "newness". So those are not even possibilities never mind options. Relationship problems? Hmmmm... That might be it. Not relationship problems per se, but maybe just me wanting more. Maybe I am really just bored.
Stop looking for it also, check out chicks profiles and leave it at that. Let them come to u. And go to clubs, what other fantasies do url have. Go and experience them. A watched kettle never boils, let this be what it has to. Ur approach is good, but maybe u approaching the wrong women?
We agree with Sofistikitty... on approaching the wrong ppl. As a couple that have been in the lifestyle very long that have build friendships for almost as long i can tell you this ... the last couple of years at our private parties we have more woman then men (last week we had 3 single girls) and seeing fmf play is very norm rather than the unseen. I think ppl in the life style are 90 % plus barking up the wrong tree.... read the profiles you are contacting don't just look at the pics then send mail.... you'll get a surprise often.... Look for ppl that have been in the game long, ppl with experience ....you'll end up lucky I do exactly that... I don't just contact random profiles. As for pics, I do use the gallery but again, I examine the profile carefully before contacting. Looks are a major thing for us. We not saying that we must have a super model but we do have a "minimum requirement". This may sound ugly or offensive to some but it is just brutal honesty: Ugly people exist, if you were born looking like Shrek and you weigh 150kg, then it sucks for you but the reality is you are not attractive. I am attracted to beautiful women... so sue me. Having said that, I still search for "like minded" ladies. I respond to ads like: "divorced female looking to play with a couple". Erm... We are a couple. So why ignore my message, or send one back saying "no thanks" without even the possibility of a face to face coffee meet? Or why chat for days on end and as soon as a meet for coffee or drinks is suggested then total silence?
funny enough, that everyone complains about the single girls. we have found it better if you contact a couple, get to know them and ask if they are actually interested in lending the female party to you guys. we have done this before and we still do. sometimes hubby watches (nothing else), cause its a turn on for him as well to just watch, and he knows, afterwards he is gonna get his. don't just bad mouth everyone if you have not made every possible effort to have an ffm.
there are loads of people like us, who loves being a voyeur. and maybe you are only interested in people in your direct vicinity.
just my thoughts.
Quote by Stamina Ugly people exist, if you were born looking like Shrek and you weigh 150kg, then it sucks for you but the reality is you are not attractive.
he says laughing out loud . .
I have read profiles before where it would seem as if the person was looking at me while writing it. I make contact and nada.
Spice up your own sex life, invite Redbruce to watch you guys tonight
I get what everyone is saying. I understand all your sentiments. I accept that I may be approaching the wrong people sometimes. I even agree to a certain extent that some may feel a bit intimidated at the thought of my girl having a better body than her, etc.
I just can't fathom how females join, advertise, upload dirty pics, and even put themselves up as "cumslut" but they will not meet. Browse the Web a bit. You will find home videos of college students having an orgy in a dorm room, stories of women cheating on their husbands with husbands fathers, pictures of strangers having sex on a public bus, fake casting agents uploading videos of them having sex with girls for promise of a job that does not exist, girls giving random guys blow jobs at restaurants, CFNM parties where the ladies let total strangers have Anal sex with them, batchelorette parties where the bride to be is getting pile driven by the hired male stripper...! Many are fake and just plain old "theme porn", but millions of these examples are reality. This shit happens people, granted it is mostly liberated modern American women but not all, a large percentage is world wide.
I have always been a moral person and sexual deviance was always a no go are for me... But the shell is broken and I want a piece of the action now! I also want to do all the dirty things that other people do! Not all the really "bad" things but at least just a damn threesome!
I have had sex with 4 females in my entire life. Everyone a serious relationship. Everyone at minimum 4 months after meeting her. Courtship and gentlemanly conduct all the way. Why can't I get the opportunity to just once cross the "moral" line and do something out of the box? When is it my turn to be naughty? Why always be the "good guy"? There is a beast trying to break out!
Now that I think of it... Maybe best that I never get the opportunity to be with an NSA partner. Shame, that vagina will probably need corrective surgery when I am done releasing all this bottled up and pressurised frustration! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Quote by mynlc Sheesh, has cake, gets to eat it and still looking to raid a bakery? So just imagine how some of us unlucky uglies must feel...
That's exactly what this thread is for. Vent it here my friend. Say all you want to and let it out. Complain here, someone is bound to pick up what we are putting down. As for the cake thing... You may think guys like me have it good... Sometimes no cake is better than the same cake day after day. And I actually just want a bit of custard on my existing slice of cake, not the whole bakery. Just a different flavour once in a while would be nice...
Can understand the need for an occasional cupcake or devil's delight. Have the taste myself but can't seem to find a bakery lol.
And here I thought (like most people probably do) that couples got it all their way. Seems there's troubles in everyone's paradise. The internet does not help there, just raises unreasonable expectations. 99% of porn is fake and scripted, 1% is real maybe of which 0.1% is probably fun and not just procreative urges. Whether single or couple, finding anyone to play with seems virtually impossible, even on sites like these. Had more fun from real-world miracles than from online bigmouths with no follow-thrus.
Good luck in the search.
Option 1: Socialize at gay/lesbian venues: As a couple, your lady can have a lot of fun, femme lesbians are mostly bi and not shy, your presence creates the impression that your lady's into girls with your blessing. You'll need to be on your best behaviour (fun and pleasant) as these girls like dick but not the dick it's attached to. Initially you'll be relegated to watching from the bench but once she's comfortable with that you can subtly worm yourself in on the action. Alternatively let your lady party by herself and see who she brings home, again with the emphasis on them playing, with or without you initially.
Option 2: Learn Game! Then go out and socialize, either alone or together, be quite clear to your pickups, "you are quite cool, I think my girlfriend will like you as much as I do", If she bites on that you're home free, women are more adventurous than you think, confronted with the above a lot of them would go for it, unlike on a website where social programming takes over and they flake. You never know, maybe both of you score on the same knight and you get a fffm, maybe you deserve that, you seem to want it real bad, make it happen!
Good luck!
You could channel all that anger energy into something practical and positive:
1)Build a high-tech sex machine, strap in your lady and spend a day observing the immense capacity for orgasmic pleasure women are blessed with.
2)Lie in bed crying for a week over the shitty deal us men were dealt by evolution. And, we get to take out the trash.
3)Spend the next ten years developing technology which accesses these cerebral pleasure centers, amplifies them in a controllable manner and stimulates the relevant areas of your own brain.
4)Find a plausible answer for your friends when they ask why both of you wear wigs.
the central scrutinizer
I'm going to reiterate - drop ur standards and stop comparing real life to porn. You assuming 3some is going to be like the ones u and ur girl watch. No ways!
I am probably close to 90-100kgs, I am no model but I've had a few 3somes awesome ones. I get offered and asked to join couples atleast twice a day. As a single chick this is what I look for and then decide if I'm joining:
Am I attracted to the pics they send?
Who am I chatting to? Prefer the female.
Take it to instant chat(whats app/bbm)
Are they going to just use me as a prop?
Meet for coffee/drink, am I comfy.
Do we match (attractiveness, etc)
I spoke to a sex therapist yesterday that told me something about the female phsychi... women like to know there's something in it for them. maybe let ur chick put up ad, offer a night of pampering like take the chick out for supper or ask them to join u at a swingers club or private party. Make her feel like a person not just like u want to use her as an extra. Real women don't have perfect bodies, ur gf is younger also so I'm telling u again women are intimidated. And after reading ur reaction to me saying u should drop ur standards, u are still looking for a "model" type.
Why not come to one of our parties or maybe I should organise a 3some for u guys. I would suggest that u meet up with a couple there's a lot of good looking ones and try the soft swing else if u open to it check other than what u wishing for. Like differnt race, size, age? Try something other than 3some maybe? This shouldn't be so difficult to have some fun.
Quote by wolfman Option 1: Socialize at gay/lesbian venues: As a couple, your lady can have a lot of fun, femme lesbians are mostly bi and not shy, your presence creates the impression that your lady's into girls with your blessing. You'll need to be on your best behaviour (fun and pleasant) as these girls like dick but not the dick it's attached to. Initially you'll be relegated to watching from the bench but once she's comfortable with that you can subtly worm yourself in on the action. Alternatively let your lady party by herself and see who she brings home, again with the emphasis on them playing, with or without you initially. Option 2: Learn Game! Then go out and socialize, either alone or together, be quite clear to your pickups, "you are quite cool, I think my girlfriend will like you as much as I do", If she bites on that you're home free, women are more adventurous than you think, confronted with the above a lot of them would go for it, unlike on a website where social programming takes over and they flake. You never know, maybe both of you score on the same knight and you get a fffm, maybe you deserve that, you seem to want it real bad, make it happen! Good luck!
Never thought of trying that, gay/lesbian ... What a great idea, you're the man!!! Thanks a stack, I will give that a try.
Quote by Sofistikitty Stamina****Did u notice on your profile under quick messages there is a chick trying to get your attention? Check her out dude she stays nearby.
Hey Kitty, I did see that yes, she was last online 32 days ago :sad:
That's easy, take a breath and remember . . . . . you will feel better in a short while. At this stage, you run the risk of a fantasy, becoming an obsession!!!!! count to ten, but make sure you not counting sheep as you may well fall asleep instead of just calming down :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I feel your frustration, but in the year since we started swinging we just recently had our 6th ffm, we generally don't push, and prefer making friends. I barely ever talk to the ladies myself and let lovie do the chatting. Nobody's perfect, so maybe you should start accepting that there are mostly "normal" ladies on here, which might have had a kiddie or two, maybe a few extra kilos or a bit older than what you'd expect. I always say, I'm not here looking for a wife....i have one! So I love the variety this lifestyle offers! The easiest would probably be to arrange ffm with another couple. And when you do find that fhm model, please send her our way, I'd love to add to my collection.
Quote by 241 I feel your frustration, but in the year since we started swinging we just recently had our 6th ffm, we generally don't push, and prefer making friends. I barely ever talk to the ladies myself and let lovie do the chatting. Nobody's perfect, so maybe you should start accepting that there are mostly "normal" ladies on here, which might have had a kiddie or two, maybe a few extra kilos or a bit older than what you'd expect. I always say, I'm not here looking for a wife....i have one! So I love the variety this lifestyle offers! The easiest would probably be to arrange ffm with another couple. And when you do find that fhm model, please send her our way, I'd love to add to my collection.
Bam reality hits, there are probably only 1% real swingers on here!
Most single girl profiles are either men pretending or curious looky loos, there is a reason they are called "unicorns" in lifestyle.
@ Stamina.
I actually read this *vent* a FEW times, I replied, then deleted my reply, but this really bothers me !!!
Has it occurred to you that you are NOT showing yourself in a very positive light right now?? What and HOW would your lady friend feel when and if she READS this Fora??
I can tell you one thing she will feel VERY bad!!! To KNOW that you are GETTING bored with her!! Bored with her very willing *everyday* vagina, and boobies and her very best trying to keep you satisfied and trying to please you !!!!!
Sheesh If someone said something like this about me, I would be out that door faster than lightning!
It is in fact not showing her in a not very good light and you are in fact demeaning her. She must get this vibe off you, cause no wonder she is *wanting* bigger breasts ( another Fora you wrote where instead of giving her breast , you gave a sorta *Indian* givers kind of car to her.)
And that you feel that us *single NON meeting ladies* are taking up space and should NOT be here is also a sting in my bonnet.....We and EVERYONE else on this site has the right to be here,even if we just chat, browse,comment here in the fora, or perv photo`s !! We are all allowed to be here. That includes Us fatties uglies and Oldies !!!
As for you not able to meet anyone, should make you think there is in fact something wrong and saying this I mean it is not with the people not meeting you!!
Just maybe the unicorns and single ladies reading your forums and this one in particular that makes it the deciding factor why they might not meet, cause I would not like to meet you and expose myself to anything negative like I just read about how you feel about your poor so called LOVER.
I personally KNOW lots of SINGLE SEXY SLIM and curvy and BBW females, married and single who meet and play!!! Yeah they even try and play with me!!! or already played with me before I stopped !
I also know LOTS of older men who is in fact hairy, bald, has boepies, and are not wealthy enough to buy sex, who is just your average Joe, having a GREAT time on here and similar sites,who in fact get more nookie than what they can keep up with !! They are single married and here as couples.....makes one think!
Just saying.......and venting.
Missed you PIB mwah.
Your reply is true though. I try not to take things personally on this site or forum. People are different I guess.
But I firmly believe that your attitude and approach determine your success rate. I will use an example: if a couple approached me by sending private album invite, I delete. If the male approaches me, first thought I have is- the female/wife/gf is doing this to please her man. That she is not actually into this but loves him and wants to give him this. 8 out of 10 times its true. So I also decline.
Personally, I would respond to couples in the chat room, especially if it's both of them chatting, then exchange pics and then move over to instant chat. Then go for coffee and if the attraction is there, take it further. Let things flow naturally. But there are women that prefer just meeting and screwing, people are different. If someone looks like they going to make me feel uncomfy or self conscious it's a don't go for me.
Use it don't use it
Quote by Pussinboots1 @ Stamina. I actually read this *vent* a FEW times, I replied, then deleted my reply, but this really bothers me !!! Has it occurred to you that you are NOT showing yourself in a very positive light right now?? What and HOW would your lady friend feel when and if she READS this Fora?? I can tell you one thing she will feel VERY bad!!! To KNOW that you are GETTING bored with her!! Bored with her very willing *everyday* vagina, and boobies and her very best trying to keep you satisfied and trying to please you !!!!! Sheesh If someone said something like this about me, I would be out that door faster than lightning! It is in fact not showing her in a not very good light and you are in fact demeaning her. She must get this vibe off you, cause no wonder she is *wanting* bigger breasts ( another Fora you wrote where instead of giving her breast , you gave a sorta *Indian* givers kind of car to her.) And that you feel that us *single NON meeting ladies* are taking up space and should NOT be here is also a sting in my bonnet.....We and EVERYONE else on this site has the right to be here,even if we just chat, browse,comment here in the fora, or perv photo`s !! We are all allowed to be here. That includes Us fatties uglies and Oldies !!! As for you not able to meet anyone, should make you think there is in fact something wrong and saying this I mean it is not with the people not meeting you!! Just maybe the unicorns and single ladies reading your forums and this one in particular that makes it the deciding factor why they might not meet, cause I would not like to meet you and expose myself to anything negative like I just read about how you feel about your poor so called LOVER. I personally KNOW lots of SINGLE SEXY SLIM and curvy and BBW females, married and single who meet and play!!! Yeah they even try and play with me!!! or already played with me before I stopped ! I also know LOTS of older men who is in fact hairy, bald, has boepies, and are not wealthy enough to buy sex, who is just your average Joe, having a GREAT time on here and similar sites,who in fact get more nookie than what they can keep up with !! They are single married and here as couples.....makes one think! Just saying.......and venting.
Now that is how to kak someone out! PIB, you are the only one that knows how to put me in place. I do however have a few remarks... Being bored or becoming bored with my partner is not me being a bad guy. Not always the man that is wrong when things start to go south hey... Something wrong and not with the other people? Possible, very possible. So it can be me then? Ok, so I should go around being "fake" to attract a potential playmate? At least what they see is what they get, I am probably most honest and genuine person on here. I say what I think, always. I do what I say, always... I am transparent toward all potential playmates and I leave nothing to be desired. Venting here and all other topics I discuss can not ruin my already non existent chances. As for "lowering the standards" a bit, well that would just be pointless. Then I rather don't do it. I am a very "visually stimulated" person. My priority list is as follows: 1. The ladies pleasure first. 2. My pleasure in the form of being with and touching a beautiful woman. And the rest falls into place. I really mean absolutely no offence to anyone and those take offence are narrow minded... I absolutely adore beauty, call me superficial but I would much rather date a hottie that is a total bitches before I date an ugly girl that is a total darling. Looks matter to me and I can not change that. Bare in mind that my girl on the same page. She too wants a gorgeous playmate or it would be pointless. Why do people take offence to things like this? Some people are sexy and some are not. Accept it... Don't hate the player, hate the game!
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