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venting again

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Master of Sex
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So I hope I'm not rattling any cages, but I wonder what would happen if I put "COLOUREDS ONLY" on ads I put up. Is it normal to feel like offended in a way? The other day we were asked to try to organise a 3some for a black lady with 2 white guys- it is a fantasy she would like to experience. She's a good looking woman. The guys saw her pics and were happy to make it happen, but then got cold feet and ignored messages, etc. I tried to get advice about how to make them feel comfy like maybe they were stage fright. So I asked and some said maybe a meet and greet first, like a coffee date to put everyone at ease. Seemed like a good idea to start. But do you know what more said? That the lady should go get tested and show the guys her certificate. I was gobsmacked! Is this the real reason besides preference that they won't play outside their race? "Then they know she's clean" wow really? Now question is, would they have requested a certificate if she were white? I know this is going to cause trouble, but attitudes and thinking like that has totally shocked and disgusted me. From now on I will not even entertain any folk that have the famous "only play within our race" or "whites only" or "do not cross the race barrier" I am coloured and I don't carry my std/hiv free certificate with me. *this is me venting
Warming the Bed
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I have put up a forum post recently about going about arranging a gangbang and it seem like the best would be to have a small meet and greet for the guys that are interested. As for people saying they got cold feet because of other issues well then that's their opinion and you did ask them. And maybe its best to just drop them from your friendship list...and move on ...one must keep in mind most South African people have been brought up with issues. It is not easy to just change over night... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If I was anymore open minded and I bend over my mind would fall out
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my honest opinion here is that, whether you are white or black or purple or pink, if you are going to do this with a stranger, all should give their hiv certificates, not doing so is just soaking matches in petrol and playing with a lighter close by. not even talking about sti's and yes, unfortunately, most, if not all white folk are brought up this way. so im not picking sides here. we would definitely request and show hiv certs for occasions like this.
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Sofistikitty, calmly ask for their certificates to be presented, upon which your lady friend will let them know if they qualify to take part, and furnish one in return. And if all else fails, my hubby will gladly volunteer and without any qualms - we just got to get him there smile, so now you just need one more chap. .. Hope she doesn't mind muscley hairy-ish 40 something guys with guns, tattoos and earrings :)
Warming the Bed
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I think the point is ,,,,,,,,,,others said they might have got cold feet due to issues ...why not just ask THEM why they got cold feet ...
Warming the Bed
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I hope the gent's would insist on STD tests regardless of race, I myself and two other couples Ive played with all have agreed to do tests 3 or four times a year. Hell to be honest. you cant be too safe. But the crux of the matter , "whether her race is the sole reason they want a test".....yeah thats as little off in my opinion
Warming the Bed
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the question was to other people not to the guys .........the guys did not ask for anything ...help maybe i am reading wrong if so sorry
Master of Sex
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No the guys basically did a David copperfield like 2 hours before event. The people I got advice from were white swingers (couples and single guys) and that was the response. Look, I've asked and they didn't respond. I am not only talking about this incident. This whole non whites are more reckless or "dirty" is what's bothering me. Again I am not saying everyone is saying this or have requested that she has a clean bill of health. I mean that the people I spoke to did not know each other yet most gave the same response. I've seen a forum post where a male of a couple mentioned the same thing. The other issue that came up was the different culture thing. That non white males had no etiquette, I don't think that's a culture thing. Assholes and pervs come in different shapes, sizes and races. I also think that we are more tolerant and open than those people - the percentage that refuse to cross race barrier. It's just weird and shocking. I believe like some of you have said that regardless of race, people should request tests, certificates from whom ever they are going to play with. Hiv, sti's and stds are not biased or have preferences. Who ever takes part in risky play risks getting it.
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Once again Sofstikitty, I have to agree that it is VERY insulting to request a certificate 2 hours prior to engaging in any play event. Ethnic origin has nothing to do with that, it is JUST plain rude!!!! These are the things that must be sorted out days before agreeing to anything. that is why meeting is so important before playing. And MOST certainly the lady MUST also request a certificate from them!!!! Sheesh, people are so predictable sometimes, men and women fantasize about many things,but when push comes to shove, they all have cold feet or limp penisses!!! Hugs to you and the lady in question.
Orgasminator
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I'm sorry to hear that Sofistikitty but to tell you the truth, I'm not surprised. Most people in south Africa are very narrow minded so things like this happe, not that it's right right. I also think people in SA still see a lot of race related issues in the news so the media is almost reinforcing this racism based on history in SA.
Quote by LeeEC
Sofistikitty, calmly ask for their certificates to be presented, upon which your lady friend will let them know if they qualify to take part, and furnish one in return.
And if all else fails, my hubby will gladly volunteer and without any qualms - we just got to get him there smile, so now you just need one more chap. .. Hope she doesn't mind muscley hairy-ish 40 something guys with guns, tattoos and earrings :)

Can I be the 2nd guy?
Sex God
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If I am reading your post correctly, you yourself have deduced that the reason some guys wanted test certificates was due to race. They did not seem to say that, in fact by them asking for test certs, they have shown two things: 1) willingness to engage in sexual activities with a person of a different race. 2) the wisdom to take care of health concerns like a responsible adult. From what I can see, you have made this a race issue. As far as your comment about non white males having no etiquette goes, it's more about the language barrier than anything else, in fact, in my opinion, 75% of our so called race issues in this country revolve around language barriers. It exists even between white people who speak different languages.
Master of Sex
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Quote by SDMR
If I am reading your post correctly, you yourself have deduced that the reason some guys wanted test certificates was due to race.
They did not seem to say that, in fact by them asking for test certs, they have shown two things:
1) willingness to engage in sexual activities with a person of a different race.
2) the wisdom to take care of health concerns like a responsible adult.
From what I can see, you have made this a race issue.
As far as your comment about non white males having no etiquette goes, it's more about the language barrier than anything else, in fact, in my opinion, 75% of our so called race issues in this country revolve around language barriers. It exists even between white people who speak different languages.

They willing to screw me without one? So what does that mean? Like I said this came from people that have double standards. I have a white lady that requested a gang bang and the no certificate was requested. But when it came to the black lady they requested. So tell me am I assuming wrong? I am not talking out of my own. This is the statements and conversations I have had with white couples and single guys. I am merely saying that these are the concerns. And that I am offended by them. Again, I am not saying ALL men and couples. I am speaking about the people I have spoken to, as I am trying to find a way to merge everyone together. Well, those who are interested anyway.
From experience, I am always invited as a single chick to parties and clubs. the moment I say I am bring a male partner they retract their invite. Some have even asked what race guy is. I'm sorry Shaun, but if you are not in our shoes(non white) you won't have any idea as to what I'm talking about. I am just saying that, it's unfair. Look in actual fact the lifestyle is predominantly white. It's going to take a while before non whites open up and also become more open minded. I'm not saying that people should change over night. I'm saying, don't message then. You know what your preferences are then don't request to join. I know how it feels to be "rejected" cos, in my case the hubby wanted to but the wife gave me the " we don't play outside our race". Pity we could have had fun.
I am venting so please excuse me. Still gots love for all of y'all
Sex God
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Quote by Sofistikitty
They willing to screw me without one? So what does that mean? Like I said this came from people that have double standards. I have a white lady that requested a gang bang and the no certificate was requested. But when it came to the black lady they requested. So tell me am I assuming wrong? I am not talking out of my own. This is the statements and conversations I have had with white couples and single guys. I am merely saying that these are the concerns. And that I am offended by them. Again, I am not saying ALL men and couples. I am speaking about the people I have spoken to, as I am trying to find a way to merge everyone together. Well, those who are interested anyway.
From experience, I am always invited as a single chick to parties and clubs. the moment I say I am bring a male partner they retract their invite. Some have even asked what race guy is. I'm sorry Shaun, but if you are not in our shoes(non white) you won't have any idea as to what I'm talking about. I am just saying that, it's unfair. Look in actual fact the lifestyle is predominantly white. It's going to take a while before non whites open up and also become more open minded. I'm not saying that people should change over night. I'm saying, don't message then. You know what your preferences are then don't request to join. I know how it feels to be "rejected" cos, in my case the hubby wanted to but the wife gave me the " we don't play outside our race". Pity we could have had fun.
I am venting so please excuse me. Still gots love for all of y'all

Willing to screw you without one, well different guy's have different requirements.
Single chick being invited to a party or club? a SINGLE chick was invited, not a couple.
Why is it necessary for whites to have to open up and become more open minded? Why should people change their own personal preferences?
YES, I agree, there is no need whatsoever for white people to be rude about their preferences, but why on earth is the whole world telling us to open up to different races? The first time a white person suggests that a non white person should do or look at something the way the white culture does, we are branded as racist.
But, to be clear, even though I am not in your Non White shoes, let me assure you, that I know exactly what it is like to be rejected (on an almost daily basis) because of my skin colour or gender. BUT, because I am white I am expected to simply keep my venting to myself.
Put "no white's" in your profile, I can almost guarantee you that you will not receive more than one or two complaints.
Master of Sex
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Please note, I am not attacking white people in general. As far as I'm concerned and how most of us grew up, it doesn't matter what colour your skin is. If I'm attracted to you I'm attracted to you its as simple as that. My gripe is that the people I spoke to said that it would be easier for me to get a white guy to play with a black chick if she had her hiv and sti/std certificate or results handy. Now what I am saying is same people didn't have an issue with me joining(and didn't mention a certificate) neither did they ask for the white females for gang bang. Culture wise we are very different and I am not going to stir that pot right now. If people and I mean those with the problem are so worried about health risk, they should ask certificates from ALL they play with. Not just the black chick. Or just should not play. It's just sad and fact is look at the site, I have seen one indian couple that has said they only play with indians or whites. I have never seen ( please correct me if I'm wrong) a non white couple except that couple that say they don't cross race barrier. Again I am not saying change your preferences cos it offends others, but then don't message us masala, mixed masala and chocolate chicks(especially) and guys/couples-to come play with you or to come to your parties etc. That's why I started this business, its so freaking awesome when no one cares and everyone is having a good time.
Sexlightened
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Fact 1: HIV infection is more widespread in the black community. Fact 2: White guys don't like to have black guys around because they have bigger dicks, and because white girls fantasize about being fucked by them. the central scrutinizer
Sex God
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Quote by wolfman
Fact 1: HIV infection is more widespread in the black community.
Fact 2: White guys don't like to have black guys around because they have bigger dicks, and because white girls fantasize about being fucked by them.
the central scrutinizer

In reference to your Fact1: is this documented fact? or is it just perception? It may just simply be that there are a large number more of the specific demographic and the fact that our government has a "unique" way of gathering statistics.
In reference to your Fact2: Judging by the amount of white guys who post on the non white chicks "quick messages" on their profiles, it's not only white chicks that fantasise.
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Quote by wolfman
Fact 1: HIV infection is more widespread in the black community.
Fact 2: White guys don't like to have black guys around because they have bigger dicks, and because white girls fantasize about being fucked by them.
the central scrutinizer

And to you we hand the "Big Stirrer" award: Here's your gold plated spoon sir!
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and my final word to you all is :color:
Sex God
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Quote by playcouple
and my final word to you all is :color:

The thing is, if the powers that be stopped trying to "force" us to accept :color: and left us to figure it out for ourselves, there would probably be way more progress . . . .
Sexlightened
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@SDMR: Fact or perception, what's the difference, the end result is the same! @Lee: Thanks for the award, have fashioned a large facsimily(?) for Gobblinggirl to spank me with when she ties me up! the director of recreational activities
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Quote by SDMR
and my final word to you all is :color:

The thing is, if the powers that be stopped trying to "force" us to accept :color: and left us to figure it out for ourselves, there would probably be way more progress . . . .
Problem is there be no power at Eskom.
As a matter of interest statistically there are large variances between population groups (demographics???) in terms of HIV and Aids, the variances vary between races, ages, careers, locations and how regularly people travel away from home requiring an overnight stay.
Sex God
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Quote by playcouple
Problem is there be no power at Eskom.
As a matter of interest statistically there are large variances between population groups (demographics???) in terms of HIV and Aids, the variances vary between races, ages, careers, locations and how regularly people travel away from home requiring an overnight stay.

Statistics are way too easily manipulated and cannot be accurate in any form - at least not above 75%. The statistics in this country (because I have no knowledge of other countries) are gathered to obtain a specific result. Right from our education system, to our health care system. Our schools regularly ask the pupils / learners / students (or whatever they are called these days) what language they speak at home, how many brothers or sisters they have etc WHY? What on earth for?
If you want focus on a particular area, you survey a particular group in order to get the appropriate survey result to get involvement. Don't misunderstand me here, survey's need to be done, I'm just saying that they are done in such a way that it justifies what was already decided from a budgetary point of view.
Pretty much the same as the penis size statistics, everything says that the average size is X and the average width is Y . . . but have you seen the pictures on this site? wink no bloody wonder so many of us get laughed at when we have said we were "average sized" . . . rotflmao
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Quote by SDMR

Problem is there be no power at Eskom.
As a matter of interest statistically there are large variances between population groups (demographics???) in terms of HIV and Aids, the variances vary between races, ages, careers, locations and how regularly people travel away from home requiring an overnight stay.

Statistics are way too easily manipulated and cannot be accurate in any form - at least not above 75%. The statistics in this country (because I have no knowledge of other countries) are gathered to obtain a specific result. Right from our education system, to our health care system. Our schools regularly ask the pupils / learners / students (or whatever they are called these days) what language they speak at home, how many brothers or sisters they have etc WHY? What on earth for?
If you want focus on a particular area, you survey a particular group in order to get the appropriate survey result to get involvement. Don't misunderstand me here, survey's need to be done, I'm just saying that they are done in such a way that it justifies what was already decided from a budgetary point of view.
Pretty much the same as the penis size statistics, everything says that the average size is X and the average width is Y . . . but have you seen the pictures on this site? wink no bloody wonder so many of us get laughed at when we have said we were "average sized" . . . rotflmao
You do realise that every time you donate blood or have blood tested you are screened for HIV and Aids? This data is collected and put together by various NGO's, bits and pieces of it comes out in the press and so on, but all of it is available to various HIV and Aids organisations. This is not because anyone is keeping anything hidden or under wraps, just that the press will rather say we have one of the highest infection rates in the world than say that the infection rate in RSA is dropping, good news does not get spread, bad news does.
Sex God
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Quote by playcouple
You do realise that every time you donate blood or have blood tested you are screened for HIV and Aids? This data is collected and put together by various NGO's, bits and pieces of it comes out in the press and so on, but all of it is available to various HIV and Aids organisations. This is not because anyone is keeping anything hidden or under wraps, just that the press will rather say we have one of the highest infection rates in the world than say that the infection rate in RSA is dropping, good news does not get spread, bad news does.

Our government would disagree with that, after their recent "we have a good story to tell" campaign . . wink
One of the ways to get funding is to have stats that indicate something needs to be done. So when stats are gathered for something such as HIV, they are going to target areas that are worst affected.
Sexlightened
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this topic and some of the comments by certain members is exactly the reason i stopped contributing.