Join the most popular community of South African swingers now
Login

Some common sense please people...

last reply
19 replies
2.1k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
I know that not many newbies participate in these discussions and probably don't pop in for a read. I am gonna try and explain anyway. (this goes for older members too who have trouble understanding what the "looking for" section is all about. I would also appreciate it if Mods could concur the following. Straight Couple - A couple consisting of a male and a female (married or not) where both the female and male have no gay tendencies. Couple with bi female - A couple consisting of a male and a female (married or not) where the male of the couple has no gay tendencies and the female has gay tendencies. Couple with bi male - A couple consisting of a male and a female (married or not) where the female of the couple has no gay tendencies and the male has gay tendencies. Bi couple - A couple consisting of two males or two females or a male and a female where both parties of the couple have gay tendencies. Gay Couple - A couple consisting of either two males or two females where both parties of the couple are 100% gay and have no attraction to members of their opposite gender. Straight Male - A male (attached or unattached) on his own. NOT MEANING THE MALE IN A COUPLE MUST BE STRAIGHT!!! Straight Female - A female (attached or unattached) on her own. NOT MEANING THE FEMALE OF A COUPLE MUST BE STRAIGHT! Please do not put on your profile "straight male" and further down in the text state "no single males"?! Just list one of the following to get your preference known: Couple with bi female, straight couple. If you do not want a guy to bone your wife - do not check the "straight male" box - simple logic folks! Ok, I am finished kakking everybody out... lol
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Um I don't think you should be using "gay tendencies" to describe someone who is bi... it really isn't the same thing at all, and I expect a lot of "bi", "bi-friendly" & "bi-curious" people will take offence to the description. I would adjust to these descriptions to "open to sexual interaction with others of the same sex" Additionally - no matter how much you wish to rant or repeat over and over again that "straight male" is the same thing as "single male" it does not make it so. I am equally and similarly peeved by the fact that I can not filter "single" males by their marital status when I search, but you don't see me throwing a temper tantrum.
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Quote by LeeEC
Um I don't think you should be using "gay tendencies" to describe someone who is bi... it really isn't the same thing at all, and I expect a lot of "bi", "bi-friendly" & "bi-curious" people will take offence to the description.
I would adjust to these descriptions to "open to sexual interaction with others of the same sex"
Additionally - no matter how much you wish to rant or repeat over and over again that "straight male" is the same thing as "single male" it does not make it so.
I am equally and similarly peeved by the fact that I can not filter "single" males by their marital status when I search, but you don't see me throwing a temper tantrum.

I beg to differ.. "Gay tendencies" as apposed to "gay" is the most "politically correct" way to describe someone who is bi. Emphasis on the word "tendencies"...
On this site, single male is the same thing as straight male as the site does not have a tab for "single male". A "straight male" on this site is a male playing alone regardless of his relationship status. Feel free to confirm this with admin...
Master of Sex
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
I don't like the word 'tendencies'. I find it derogatory. I don't have gay tendencies. I don't have straight tendencies, either. I like people of both genders.
Sex God
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Quote by Stamina

I beg to differ.. "Gay tendencies" as apposed to "gay" is the most "politically correct" way to describe someone who is bi. Emphasis on the word "tendencies"...
.

political correctness in the bedroom?????? Just now you are going to tell me that there will be a quota system put in place:small-print::small-print:
And it is not necessarily gay tendencies, but rather "sexual tendencies" . . . . wink
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Quote by KC_
I don't like the word 'tendencies'. I find it derogatory.
I don't have gay tendencies. I don't have straight tendencies, either. I like people of both genders.

The word "tendencies" is used for lack of a better one. If you like to swim, then you have a tendency for enjoying a pool... I still fail to see how one would better describe someone who has an equal attraction to both sexes. As far as I am concerned, if you are a male that enjoys the company of females but also have an attraction to males, then you as a male have a tendency to "enjoy" other males.
It's just a word... And a good word, appropriate for the description I think. Lets agree to disagree on this one?
Orgasminator
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
I don't want to get into textbook definitions here but when I think gay I picture zero attraction to the opposite sex in a sexual way. Therefore I read gay tendencies for a guy as "moments of disinterest in pussy" and I know that can't be right when I'm with a hot couple, I want both not either or. To me bi male is a guy attracted to woman who can also admire a decent guy and be attracted in the same way, ie indifferent.
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
As we drift off the subject again (seems to be the norm), I would like to talk about this "gay" issue... I have no problem with gay people. Those who are bi or gay and read this out of context or take offence then you are very narrow minded.. Gay people have been liberated in recent decades. As black people before that, as were women before that. I realise and understand that we are not living in the 1920's. Gone are the days where homophobic, sexist and racial remarks were common practice. But the world has taken it to new levels. A person not in the category of black, gay or female (ie white heterosexual males) have to walk on egg shells. One straight forward word for lack of a better one gets taken the wrong way and bam! - you are a racist or a sexist! If you are black then I will say you are black! - Not say "you are a person of African Ethnic origin!! If you are gay then you are gay! - Not a person who partakes in homosexual acts! C'mon people, using single words in place of long sentences for descriptions is not wrong. I drive a "car" sounds better and makes more sense for use in conversation than "I operate a machine comprising of a collection of assemblies and sub-assemblies that serves as a mode of transport".. I could have said "persons who occasionally engage in sexual interactions with other persons of the same gender"... Made much more sense to sum that long description up.. "person with gay tendencies".. Alternatively, we can make it a bragging match and lay our Degree's on the table to see who's beats my Honours Degree.. lol :lol: PS... I do write articles for the Caxton on a freelance basis. So I am defending myself with my achievements yes! (Here it comes)..
Orgasminator
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
I just have an Honours degree in Accounting and Dive master qualification, thus language aint my speciality (but it still matches your honours ;) ). I was just saying my connotation, no offence taken and I was just being funny.
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Quote by SDMR
political correctness in the bedroom?????? Just now you are going to tell me that there will be a quota system put in place:small-print::small-print:

No political correctness in the FORUM!!
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Quote by Stamina
Alternatively, we can make it a bragging match and lay our Degree's on the table to see who's beats my Honours Degree.. lol :lol:
PS... I do write articles for the Caxton on a freelance basis. So I am defending myself with my achievements yes!
(Here it comes)..

So? I edit theses & Scientific Journals... what's your point? :P
So... in another thread you mention how a degree really isn't a good indicator of who is best at a job, but now you list your Honors degree as a reason we should all bow to your superior knowledge? :twisted: Make up your mind dude...
Oh and on that note... an Honors degree in what exactly? where's a smug grin emoticon when you need one?
Orgasminator
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
eina
Warming the Bed
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
I'm going to go right ahead and say it, might get flack for it but what does it matter.... I've been reading your posts in the forum, and while I agree with your initial post on "looking for status" in ones profile based on context of the options available, I have to basically disagree with everything else you basically portray in this forum. My profile says I'm bi, and I definitely have no gay tendencies... I just don't mind having fun with both partners in a swinging relationship, that doesn't mean I have any gay tendencies, it just means I'm safe in my sexuality and don't mind exploring the full realm of the experience... Now, let me move onto why I'm really posting... You seem like you have an issue with couples or single ladies not giving you the light of day, you blame this on competition from other single men who aren't in it for the right reasons, some would say it's because of your current relationship status where you would defend that, etc, etc... Let me tell you what the real reason probably is... While I do feel that you cheating on your partner is a big reason as it goes against the very definition of swinging is a big factor, there are people who seek singles who are in a relationship as they feel that person is less likely to want to interfere in their actual relationship. I feel your biggest issue is not that, but rather your attitude and arrogant, somewhat egotistical, way that you portray yourself, selling yourself in a business type manner that comes off as desperate instead of confident. In fact I would go so far as to say the way you degrade those who do not agree with you or who do not see things the way you want them to see it is verging on a bullying attitude that I don't really think anyone likes, heck it even rubs me off the wrong way that if I had a female playing partner, I wouldn't look twice at you. For an example, take a look at you throwing out your pathetic little honours degree... Heck I did a Bcom, does that make me any better than anyone else here, nor should I see the need to flaunt whatever it is or lack of what it is that I do... Who cares that you did bloody articles for anybody, it doesn't mean that all others are illiterate f***'s... My suggestion, tone it down a little, wipe the arrogance off your body and maybe, just maybe you may find yourself successful... But hey, what do I know, I don't have an Honours degree like you do my "King"... Rant over Edit: Perhaps I've been a little harsh, and I've probably made some assumptions on you but hey, you've made assumptions about others as well so all is fair silly
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Quote by Rob_69
I'm going to go right ahead and say it, might get flack for it but what does it matter....
I've been reading your posts in the forum, and while I agree with your initial post on "looking for status" in ones profile based on context of the options available, I have to basically disagree with everything else you basically portray in this forum.
My profile says I'm bi, and I definitely have no gay tendencies... I just don't mind having fun with both partners in a swinging relationship, that doesn't mean I have any gay tendencies, it just means I'm safe in my sexuality and don't mind exploring the full realm of the experience...
Now, let me move onto why I'm really posting... You seem like you have an issue with couples or single ladies not giving you the light of day, you blame this on competition from other single men who aren't in it for the right reasons, some would say it's because of your current relationship status where you would defend that, etc, etc...
Let me tell you what the real reason probably is... While I do feel that you cheating on your partner is a big reason as it goes against the very definition of swinging is a big factor, there are people who seek singles who are in a relationship as they feel that person is less likely to want to interfere in their actual relationship.
I feel your biggest issue is not that, but rather your attitude and arrogant, somewhat egotistical, way that you portray yourself, selling yourself in a business type manner that comes off as desperate instead of confident.
In fact I would go so far as to say the way you degrade those who do not agree with you or who do not see things the way you want them to see it is verging on a bullying attitude that I don't really think anyone likes, heck it even rubs me off the wrong way that if I had a female playing partner, I wouldn't look twice at you.
For an example, take a look at you throwing out your pathetic little honours degree... Heck I did a Bcom, does that make me any better than anyone else here, nor should I see the need to flaunt whatever it is or lack of what it is that I do... Who cares that you did bloody articles for anybody, it doesn't mean that all others are illiterate f***'s...
My suggestion, tone it down a little, wipe the arrogance off your body and maybe, just maybe you may find yourself successful... But hey, what do I know, I don't have an Honours degree like you do my "King"...
Rant over

Well said... Especially the last sentence.. He he he..
But seriously though. My achievements mentioned are not actually about bragging or being better than anyone, it is about using a factual ground to rate my own intelligence with respect to defending my post against those who say I used incorrect terminology. Also note the smileys before taking it all to serious.
My attitude is far from arrogant. I know who am, I say what I am thinking... And I am very confident in the fact that I know a few things. I am very successful and proud of it. I made my own success without anyone's help. Nothing wrong with being proud of ones achievements. You should try it sometime, make your strong points known and be proud.
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Quote by LeeEC
Alternatively, we can make it a bragging match and lay our Degree's on the table to see who's beats my Honours Degree.. lol :lol:
PS... I do write articles for the Caxton on a freelance basis. So I am defending myself with my achievements yes!
(Here it comes)..

So? I edit theses & Scientific Journals... what's your point? :P
So... in another thread you mention how a degree really isn't a good indicator of who is best at a job, but now you list your Honors degree as a reason we should all bow to your superior knowledge? :twisted: Make up your mind dude...
Oh and on that note... an Honors degree in what exactly? where's a smug grin emoticon when you need one?
I love it how people get upset when someone tells of their achievements. People are envious of others I think?? :lol: :twisted:
Before you go hating me because I have opinions (and very often they are based in fact) and before you all think I am arrogant asshole - Bare in mind that I am just like you, a person with something to say.
My honours is in Mechanical Engineering. Which btw I only completed 4 years ago. I owned my Engineering firm long before I decided to qualify in the field. I started GeerTech Engineering when I was 21 and made a huge success in less than a year with my measly grade 10 (that's right, never had a matric then). So Lee, I understand what it is like to know a thing or two but get turned down because documents were lacking. Hence my example on the other post about job interviews.
Don't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes!
Warming the Bed
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Quote by Stamina
Well said... Especially the last sentence.. He he he..
But seriously though. My achievements mentioned are not actually about bragging or being better than anyone, it is about using a factual ground to rate my own intelligence with respect to defending my post against those who say I used incorrect terminology. Also note the smileys before taking it all to serious.
My attitude is far from arrogant. I know who am, I say what I am thinking... And I am very confident in the fact that I know a few things. I am very successful and proud of it. I made my own success without anyone's help. Nothing wrong with being proud of ones achievements. You should try it sometime, make your strong points known and be proud.

There's a difference between being proud of ones achievements and forcing it down everyone else's throats...
Fact of the matter is using the terminology "gay tendencies" for someone who is bi is incorrect, however smart you may think that you are...
bisexual: Of, relating to, or having a sexual orientation to persons of either sex.
Just because I don't mind playing with a cock doesn't mean I am attracted to guys or go past a boundary line I set myself...
Now instead of always trying to defend your intelligence, why not show some humility and admit that you were wrong in your terminology, we all make mistakes
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Quote by Rob_69

Well said... Especially the last sentence.. He he he..
But seriously though. My achievements mentioned are not actually about bragging or being better than anyone, it is about using a factual ground to rate my own intelligence with respect to defending my post against those who say I used incorrect terminology. Also note the smileys before taking it all to serious.
My attitude is far from arrogant. I know who am, I say what I am thinking... And I am very confident in the fact that I know a few things. I am very successful and proud of it. I made my own success without anyone's help. Nothing wrong with being proud of ones achievements. You should try it sometime, make your strong points known and be proud.

There's a difference between being proud of ones achievements and forcing it down everyone else's throats...
Fact of the matter is using the terminology "gay tendencies" for someone who is bi is incorrect, however smart you may think that you are...
bisexual: Of, relating to, or having a sexual orientation to persons of either sex.
Just because I don't mind playing with a cock doesn't mean I am attracted to guys or go past a boundary line I set myself...
Now instead of always trying to defend your intelligence, why not show some humility and admit that you were wrong in your terminology, we all make mistakes
So it may have been the wrong choice of words. Will never admit being wrong because I used what I perceive to be the best "two word" description of a male that interacts sexually with another male. I will apologise if it offended anybody as that was never my intention. But I will never apologise for my choice of words because they are not derogatory words in my view.
I think you are deluding yourself my friend. That is like saying that a man who is open to touching children sexually is not a , just ok with liking both adults and children... I will stand firmly on this. You can call it Influenza, but a Cold is Cold. As I said earlier - lets agree to disagree on this one.
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
So... in another thread you mention how a degree really isn't a good indicator of who is best at a job, but now you list your Honors degree as a reason we should all bow to your superior knowledge? :twisted: Make up your mind dude... You are incorrect with regards to the above Lee. I said no such thing. SDMR is so far the only person that truly reads and understands the posts in these forums. So far, I have had to repeat myself countless times to everyone putting words in my mouth. I said in the other forum that the paperless applicants are automatically rejected and qualified applicants get the job. That means that the time to assess the applicant without diploma was not granted. So the it was simply assumed that he was unfit for the position. Never said anything about a degree not being a good indicator. Please stop (constantly) implying that I contradict myself on the forums.. ( and I ask that respectfully). Just as you don't all agree with my opinions and debate, so will I attempt to justify that opinion. Remember that once an argument starts, the disagreeing party will not back down and possibly admit that the first opinion was actually relevent. The disagreeing party will continue the debate (futilely) as they are now committed to victory. As I am asked to just admit that I am wrong... I ask that (occasionally) you all see the valid points hidden in my text and give it more careful consideration before commenting. That way we can all be objective. Damn, now I have a headache! He he he
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Quote by Stamina
So... in another thread you mention how a degree really isn't a good indicator of who is best at a job, but now you list your Honors degree as a reason we should all bow to your superior knowledge? :twisted: Make up your mind dude...
You are incorrect with regards to the above Lee. I said no such thing. SDMR is so far the only person that truly reads and understands the posts in these forums. So far, I have had to repeat myself countless times to everyone putting words in my mouth.
I said in the other forum that the paperless applicants are automatically rejected and qualified applicants get the job. That means that the time to assess the applicant without diploma was not granted. So the it was simply assumed that he was unfit for the position. Never said anything about a degree not being a good indicator. Please stop (constantly) implying that I contradict myself on the forums.. ( and I ask that respectfully).
Just as you don't all agree with my opinions and debate, so will I attempt to justify that opinion. Remember that once an argument starts, the disagreeing party will not back down and possibly admit that the first opinion was actually relevent. The disagreeing party will continue the debate (futilely) as they are now committed to victory.
As I am asked to just admit that I am wrong... I ask that (occasionally) you all see the valid points hidden in my text and give it more careful consideration before commenting. That way we can all be objective. Damn, now I have a headache! He he he

If almost everyone is misunderstanding what you are saying maybe its time that you say what you want to say differently?
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
Quote by playcouple
So... in another thread you mention how a degree really isn't a good indicator of who is best at a job, but now you list your Honors degree as a reason we should all bow to your superior knowledge? :twisted: Make up your mind dude...
You are incorrect with regards to the above Lee. I said no such thing. SDMR is so far the only person that truly reads and understands the posts in these forums. So far, I have had to repeat myself countless times to everyone putting words in my mouth.
I said in the other forum that the paperless applicants are automatically rejected and qualified applicants get the job. That means that the time to assess the applicant without diploma was not granted. So the it was simply assumed that he was unfit for the position. Never said anything about a degree not being a good indicator. Please stop (constantly) implying that I contradict myself on the forums.. ( and I ask that respectfully).
Just as you don't all agree with my opinions and debate, so will I attempt to justify that opinion. Remember that once an argument starts, the disagreeing party will not back down and possibly admit that the first opinion was actually relevent. The disagreeing party will continue the debate (futilely) as they are now committed to victory.
As I am asked to just admit that I am wrong... I ask that (occasionally) you all see the valid points hidden in my text and give it more careful consideration before commenting. That way we can all be objective. Damn, now I have a headache! He he he

If almost everyone is misunderstanding what you are saying maybe its time that you say what you want to say differently?
Believe me, I have thought of that... I will try Afrikaans next time.. Lol.