I have never in my life been more disgusted and dissappointed in the single guys on this site than today. Last week I posted an ad inviting single bi guys for a private party at our place. The response on site was overwhelming and we were actually believing our fantasy will become reality. I made contact with 5 of the 'hopefuls', got their bbm invites and started chatting. I was in 7th heaven. They all sounded just as horny and excited as us. They ALL accepted the invitation and the time was set and address given. I checked in with them at around 17h00 and they confirmed what they drink and that they 'can't wait'. 20h00 came and went. 20h30 came and went. I sent a message asking if they were lost. Not even the common decency of replying. Out of the 5 one guy (a newbie) showed up. We were embarressed beyond believe! I went out of my way to prepare snacks and stock up on booze. Up to this minute I have not had ONE message of apology. It was proven once again why single guys on this site is treated the way they are. If you want to know who the bullshitters are, please email me. I will disclose their names with pleasure.
V & J
How sad to ONCE again read about something like this!
Most veteran lifestyles would tell you guys that THAT is what really happens, if you have not met face to face and THEN only invited the guys it has happened to all of us! I myself have not show up on *dates* due to the unexpected...BUT I do phone before hand.
Most people and here I include single men/women/and YES couples!!! They will promise you the moon, on emails and phone, just to disappear NEVER to show up at an appointed venue and play time.
That is why it is always wise to vet any playmate..first meet face to face and screen and evaluate them as they screen and evaluate you! Bullshitters will mostly be caught out with such meets,or NOT show.
Most people will also let you know, that when they do organize a party,that out of 10 people who said they will come, maybe only 5 will show.
THAT is the reason MOST couples will only give out phone and addresses to invited people on the day of the meet.
They will only disclose the area in what the meet will be, but NOT give the direct address few days before is also a safety measure really.
Here I will say ,most likely it is married guys /ladies pretending to be single!
Singles who get cold feet and scared , as their fantasy becomes a men are sorta scared to admit to being BI-curious/bi-opportunistic or plain just being bi.
AND yes there is the times when unexpected things do happen and one has to cancel,as IT has happened to myself for various reasons.
But then in my own opinion EVERYONE should be DECENT enough to try either to phone or leave a message that they are not if possible to meet as soon as possible there after.
I applaud the *newbie* who has kept the single men`s reputation in tack....BY showing up!!!!!
At least one out of the 5 did show up....
Set strict rules, they piss off all those that wont show (no loss) and a few that will (small loss).
From experience setting up a gang bang with guys that you have never met you are guaranteed for no shows (we also only had one arrive), better to arrange with guys that you already play with and know, at least you know that they exist and will pitch to play. Reason for the no shows is that most men are very very intimidated at the thought of actually partaking in a gang bang, most are even intimidated at the idea of taking part in an mmf 3sum.
I get furious every time I read about the bad experiences couples have with single guys.
It is tough enough for the decent single guys to participate in the lifestyle without the - trying hard not to be derogatory here - "players" posing as something they are not.
In an effort to elevate the status of decent single guys I have updated my profile - you should all take a look - if not for any other reason it may make you chuckle.
It is my hope that quality couples will read it and that players read between the lines and make a change to their approach.
I am tired of sitting back and hoping for change.
A really frustrating experience I'm sure. Like Flagg says, couple do this too, so do single females . . ... People are all after all just people, and each one of us have different views on what is acceptable and what is not.
What they have done, has little to do with them being single (or being male) it has more to do with them not having any manners. Perhaps they were overwhelmed by the fact that something was actually going to happen for real. Regardless, they were / are still rude and should have had the decency to either not commit to something that they never intended to do, or if things changed at least excused themselves.
What they have "done" to you and your planned event, has now given you a negative view on the single male, the same view would have been formed if it was a few couples that done the same thing to you and your planned event.
I got "caught" once, and after that, I insist in a public meet first, if they don't show up for the public meet I can still have a light meal / coffee / drink etc and the whole outing is then not a complete waste.
Just for clarity, I am not for one second proposing that the single male of the species is actually an ok being, while most of us probably are, we are after all still human.
I was of the "single male" variety on here before having my profile changed to couple. I was not single at the time but was looking to play alone. Long story short, that all changed before I did something I would have regretted.
Anyway... It is beyond me how guys complain about having no success here but most don't show when "success" happens. I had two possible meets and cancelled on both. the first was because I was expected to pitch up within an hour early one morning on a week day. I said to the husband of the couple that I would like to first have my morning shower, etc before coming through so 2 hours notice is needed. I phoned before leaving and he complained with me like I was one of kids for taking so long. Needless to say that I cancelled that one because hubby was a real dick!
The second was also a morning meet for a gang bang for the wife. I asked for some more pics just before I was ready to leave my house to go there. Some pics were sent via and it was definitely not the same as the pics on their profile. The hottie suddenly turned into an ogre! I am fussy and looks & body matter to me plus I don't like to be deceived with false pics.
I had my reasons for cancelling...
I have made an educated estimate in the long while I have been on this site... 10% of members here serious, the rest are just curious. I bet if you bullshit those guys right back you will see a different scenario. Tell them that wife wants to meet them alone and I guarantee you they will show up... give them some bogus address and waste their time right back... he he he, revenge is always sweet..
Quote by Stamina I have made an educated estimate in the long while I have been on this site... 10% of members here serious, the rest are just curious. I bet if you bullshit those guys right back you will see a different scenario. Tell them that wife wants to meet them alone and I guarantee you they will show up... give them some bogus address and waste their time right back... he he he, revenge is always sweet..
Ready - - - - Aim - - - - Fire And Stamina shoots himself in the foot again . . . .
Can I just include that couples are just as guilty, I've had half a dozen evenings of sitting at some random bar (chosen by them so they are more comfortable) for 2-3 hours waiting for an invisible couple.
Whole I'm truly sorry for your bad experience, I must say that these things happen. At least you didn't reserve a booth in the corner so you can have a nice private conversation only to sit there for 2 hours repeating the line "they should have been here by now", since then I've taken to seats at the bar counter.
I have made an educated estimate in the long while I have been on this site... 10% of members here serious, the rest are just curious. I bet if you bullshit those guys right back you will see a different scenario. Tell them that wife wants to meet them alone and I guarantee you they will show up... give them some bogus address and waste their time right back... he he he, revenge is always sweet..
Ready - - - - Aim - - - - Fire And Stamina shoots himself in the foot again . . . . I have lost count of the holes in my feet...
Quote by Mike_Pta Can I just include that couples are just as guilty, I've had half a dozen evenings of sitting at some random bar (chosen by them so they are more comfortable) for 2-3 hours waiting for an invisible couple. Whole I'm truly sorry for your bad experience, I must say that these things happen. At least you didn't reserve a booth in the corner so you can have a nice private conversation only to sit there for 2 hours repeating the line "they should have been here by now", since then I've taken to seats at the bar counter.
hmmmm corner booth for privacy, now there is an idea
You will always have those that are keen whilst they are having a wank
The number of times I have driven 100 to 300 km for a meet and it turns out to be a no show
But then again i have had a lot of good meets so in the end it is worth it
Hi canarie. At some point in time I'm sure all of us have had set up meets and then ended up with no shows. Unfortunately that is the way us humans are. It has also happened to me. I can understand your frustration especially that you went out of your way to make sure that the invitees were comfortable. On the other hand I'm sure that on other meets that the people actually did come as agreed. For me its a number game. you will never have a 100% success rate.
Quote by Mike_Pta Can I just include that couples are just as guilty, I've had half a dozen evenings of sitting at some random bar (chosen by them so they are more comfortable) for 2-3 hours waiting for an invisible couple. Whole I'm truly sorry for your bad experience, I must say that these things happen. At least you didn't reserve a booth in the corner so you can have a nice private conversation only to sit there for 2 hours repeating the line "they should have been here by now", since then I've taken to seats at the bar counter.
We have a 15 minute rule. If the people have not let us know that they are running late, after waiting 15 minutes, we leave. I would never wait 2-3 hours, especially if they are silent! We once waited a bit longer, because the person said they were on the way... we eventually left the restaurant. when we got home we received a to say they would be there in another 20 min or so.... Needless to say, he will never play with us. I'm amazed how people think others have time to waste. At least have the decency to send a message saying you wont be there... ;) C
Quote by KC_ Can I just include that couples are just as guilty, I've had half a dozen evenings of sitting at some random bar (chosen by them so they are more comfortable) for 2-3 hours waiting for an invisible couple. Whole I'm truly sorry for your bad experience, I must say that these things happen. At least you didn't reserve a booth in the corner so you can have a nice private conversation only to sit there for 2 hours repeating the line "they should have been here by now", since then I've taken to seats at the bar counter.
We have a 15 minute rule. If the people have not let us know that they are running late, after waiting 15 minutes, we leave. I would never wait 2-3 hours, especially if they are silent! We once waited a bit longer, because the person said they were on the way... we eventually left the restaurant. when we got home we received a to say they would be there in another 20 min or so.... Needless to say, he will never play with us. I'm amazed how people think others have time to waste. At least have the decency to send a message saying you wont be there... ;) C We had a hectic day, between east rand, sandton, function in soweto, dropping off people in sandton (after picking up and dropping of kids in east rand) and then to meet them in lynwood (they were comming from bronkhorstspruit), we let them know how hectic the day was and they insisted that that was the only time they could make it. We battled to make it on time and ended up being 10 mins late (which we let them know and they said is fine). 45 mins after us arriving we asked where they were and they had not even left yet........ We are honest in our profile, we drink very moderately, but we do drink, and at the time we both smoked, which we told them right up front. When they did arrive about two hours late, after picking the venue as well) they sit down (mr play with a beer in front of him and mrs play with some other alcoholic beverage and both having a smoke) the couple sits down and their mrs pulls up her nose at the fact that we were having a drink and that we smoked (the variety of oh i hate smoke and i don't ever drink), this without any apology for being more than two hours late.......... and full well knowing that we had jumped through hoops to make it since then we only meet people if we know we wont have to rush and in a spot where we can go to enjoy ourselves in any case even if they don't pitch up, needless to say we make arrangement to meet u and then its the other person's responsibility to join us, if they don't we don't bother with them again (this luckily almost never happens)
@ playcouple
I think the couple in your comment was very inconsiderate and rude, it also just shows that they will NOT consider you as a couple when they join a play session, so you dodged a bullet I think.
I agree with K_C as well, I myself will wait at least half an hour, but will leave after that!
The waiting isn't really an issue, normally there is rugby on so I can kill time watching the game. Personally I think 20 min is kinda short since life can happen and I've met a great couple at the 30min mark so waiting sometimes pays off.
Being late for anything, without informing those waiting for you is just rude.
Yes, things do happen, but then a simple call / text is well, just that, simple.
Quote by SDMR Being late for anything, without informing those waiting for you is just rude. Yes, things do happen, but then a simple call / text is well, just that, simple.
Can't argue with that, how one reacts to said rudness is open to debate still
so i was late and it was my fault completely but on top of that as i hit the highway it was backed up from an accident so i kept sending pics of the traffic so the couple knew i was on my way .they said it was really funny seeing the road signs ...30km then 15km .they laugh whenever they see those road signs on their way home a single guy who is not in demand at all its tough to turn down an invitation , i was just very lucky the couple where very understanding but yes being late or not showing up is not on guys .
Quote by ash so i was late and it was my fault completely but on top of that as i hit the highway it was backed up from an accident so i kept sending pics of the traffic so the couple knew i was on my way .they said it was really funny seeing the road signs ...30km then 15km .they laugh whenever they see those road signs on their way home a single guy who is not in demand at all its tough to turn down an invitation , i was just very lucky the couple where very understanding but yes being late or not showing up is not on guys .
Thus why I would wait longer for a couple to pitch up, I'm sure as a couple you have more options if a single guy is late and doesn't say anything. At least you kept them updated, it's something most people don't do (and I'm not just talking about swingers here)
Quote by Mike_Pta The waiting isn't really an issue, normally there is rugby on so I can kill time watching the game. Personally I think 20 min is kinda short since life can happen and I've met a great couple at the 30min mark so waiting sometimes pays off.
If there is a call or a message to say they are running late, we will wait. If there is silence, after 15 min we leave. I don't think we are asking too much here... Playcouple, I would have gone home when they said they are still at home! ;) C
Quote by KC_ If there is a call or a message to say they are running late, we will wait. If there is silence, after 15 min we leave. I don't think we are asking too much here...
Nope, you aren't asking too much however it's different for couples and single guys.
@ Mike_Pta
I Think you are mistaken ....NO ONE should be rude!!!!
You are setting very low standards for yourself if you are prepared to overlook any form of rudeness and obnoxious behavior from any one , whether they are couples or singles (no matter their gender).
Couples already think they are doing YOU as a single a heck of a favor by allowing you into their little tryst...having sometimes very definite rules for the singles on how and when to play with whom in their little set to many *little* hang-ups to make for spontaneous play to you have to DO What EVER they want when they want!
And what happens to YOUR own needs and rules??? You will most likely be shoved away once you also set standards and have a few rules of your very own!!!
BUT know this...once you also set rules & have your own standards and you do not vary from them, they will have much more respect for you , and will show you consideration JUST as you are trying to do for them.
This life-style is after all a 2 way street !!!!
Making anyone wait for 2 hours is JUST plain rude & self centered and obnoxious.
As SDMR said there is NO excuse ,as today people are connected 24/7 by cell phones a SMS or a fast phone call is all that is needed.
Anything done otherwise is just as once again said *RUDE* rude rude.
I have standards but the combination of standards and not bending over backwards for couples means that most couples move past me for easier prey. So meet ups are very rare on my side.
@ Ash - the way you dealt it it we would have gladly waited
@K_C we were very fresh and new to it, so a tad naive, we subsequently found that swinging is not that unusual....
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