The "single male" variety on this site are always under fire for many reasons. Some are pushy, some are perverted, some are arrogant, some are rude, etc... But there a great many couples on here that are also just plain rude and impolite! It starts already with the profile! Some don't even leave time to contact them. The profile says NO SINGLE MEN!!! DON'T EVEN BOTHER!! NO PIC, DON'T WASTE OUR TIME!!... Damn people, who do you think you are? The king and queen?! To those with such profiles and message responses - get off your high horse! Learn some basic etiquette and manners!
The "full-of-shit" couples on the site (yes, there are many), you should stop with being against the single males trying to get some action and start understanding why they are trying there trying their luck... You advertise that you want to have no strings sex as a couple with other people! That is as "kinky" as it gets folks! Obviously a single male will try and contact you! I am so sick and tired of hearing that swinging is not about just the sex! It is about exactly that!! Otherwise it is called friendship!
Then there are those couples that have "straight male" under there "looking for" list but say "no single guys" in there description... Confuse yourself much???
Here it comes...
Stamina yes people are rude and yes couples are rude, but I hope I read your tread wrong, but read it as that couples have no preferences and if they advertise on the site they must take it as it comes.
We on the site as a couple with preferences, and we on the site to make friends, we also on the site to respect other people, and we on the site because we can bring something to the party that single members cant.
Who you are to a accused us of "Damn people, who do you think you are? The king and queen?! To those with such profiles and message responses - get off your high horse! Learn some basic etiquette and manners!"
I hope I read it wrong but if its right then I wonder who must go and "Learn some basic etiquette and manners"
So here it is now , I've waited quite a while for this lol. Well as a couple we also stated that we didn't want a single male to reply because I wasn't ready for mfm fun yet as I previously had a bad experience. Don't take it too personally. Its now the same as the colour line thing. I personally think that people don't do things that they are scared of and that they don't know . So good luck with your search and hope you'll find some good people here
Swinging is a lifestyle, no a string of sexual encounters. We choose to life our married (Committed Relationship) lives in a sexually open, honest and respectful way, that doesn't mean we simply run around jumping for one bed to the other, but rather choose our sexual partners based on a set of criteria that we find important/stimulating.
As a man, i love woman and having sex with them, but my wife will always remain the number one woman in my life and the first woman i want to have sexy with. I don't need to have sexy with another woman, but i do enjoy it.
As with any interest or lifestyle group, whether it be sport, the arts, bikes, etc such people are drawn towards each other, they gather, socialist and enjoy their interests together. This is called friendship and why we seek like minded friends in the lifestyle.
We desire to live a life where we can relax have a braai, flirt, tease, skinny dip, etc. and go home with our partner and enjoy a wonderful sexual relationship with them. Should that braai turn into a full blown sexual encounter well that's amazing but it can never be the be all and end all of the lifestyle.
NSA sex does not mean a quick shag behind the shed, but an understanding that inappropriate emotions will not play a part in the sexual encounter.
A couple may decide that they do wish to enjoy the option of inviting a single into there life, whether for a ones off encounter or a long term friendship. This is their prerogative and so it makes perfect sense that they may be looking for that one single. This is not an open invitation for every single to try jump on the bandwagon but a simple statement of choose.
Couples place a variety of statements on their profiles to discourage a single from contacting them, what they are saying is we will contact those singles we decide we may be interested in. Its very much like we all need insurance and will contact a broker when we need it, but nobody wants to be contacted at 7 at night by someone trying to sell them insurance.
So single's should stop trying to find excuses to contact a couple or accuse the couple of been "full of shit" when in fact simply reading the profile and asking yourself "do i fit this couples requirements" and if so, then make contact would probably result in far more success.
To simple look at her photo's and say she's hot i want to bang her lets try my luck, only means you one of a thousand guys on the site that have gone before you that's frustrated the couple to the point where single's now have a reputation of been aggressive, rude and disrespectful.
And just for the record there are some single guys form this site that I would trust my wife and my life with. Some of our best friends, the ones we know we can phone at 2 in the morning are lifestyle friends.
I do agree with stamina... Many profiles try and push single males way...
But I dont allow that to upset myself, since I still contact them, which in return become friends with them.
Why do you think many couples push single males away... mainly because of what stamina said. So what is the alternative to not be rejected... contact them for the right reasons... and if they don't reply... who cares... leave them alone... maybe they are not ready yet for a single male... maybe they have changed their preferences As Adonis mentioned...
I always try and build up connections... I allow them to understand sometimes single men don't stay single for ever...
I have never had a bad negative email from some one before... its because of respect.
STAMINA... the world is not fair... Some men deal with it differently and get better results... I hope that you understand I am only trying to help see it from my perspective, and not being offensive towards your post
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"Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Tom Hanks
At the bottom of our profile it reads:
*PLEASE NOTE! SINGLE GUYS, whilst we're not averse to having the odd single guy over, WE WILL CONTACT YOU!*
I love watching the missus writhe in ectsacy, whether from the ministrations of a willing lady or that of a willing gent. However, it is HER preference that takes precedence when it comes to playtime. And her preference is the touch of a lady.
So we add that little bit of info at the bottom of our profile for the benefit of those that actually take the time to read our profile and, every so often, a true gentleman comes along who will state that he read the part about single males but just thought he'd pop us a mail to let us know that he's interested. Those gentlemen have a special place in the missus's little black book and a lucky few have had the privilege of indulging in what she has to offer.
If that makes us full of shit with delusions of grandeur, then we wear those labels with absolute pride!
Quote by Deviants At the bottom of our profile it reads: *PLEASE NOTE! SINGLE GUYS, whilst we're not averse to having the odd single guy over, WE WILL CONTACT YOU!* I love watching the missus writhe in ectsacy, whether from the ministrations of a willing lady or that of a willing gent. However, it is HER preference that takes precedence when it comes to playtime. And her preference is the touch of a lady. So we add that little bit of info at the bottom of our profile for the benefit of those that actually take the time to read our profile and, every so often, a true gentleman comes along who will state that he read the part about single males but just thought he'd pop us a mail to let us know that he's interested. Those gentlemen have a special place in the missus's little black book and a lucky few have had the privilege of indulging in what she has to offer. If that makes us full of shit with delusions of grandeur, then we wear those labels with absolute pride!
That is exactly what I mean in my post... every profile has a story to be told. I reply for the reasons of a gentleman should. I know that they might not be looking for a guy such as myself... but what is the harm in making a new friend... You are never to young nor to old to make a new friend ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Tom Hanks
Hi Alexthelion
The deviants attitude is really the exception, please don't think that if a couple ignores you and doesn't respond that there is "No harm done" because its exactly that attitude and disrespect that couples are moaning about.
You are perpetuating the bad reputation that singles have and please trust me we are constantly receiving complaints from couples about this. Most couples simply wont respond as its a waste of their time, but the damage is done and their perception of single's reinforced.
It seems that my post was taken out of context...
I am not referring to couples who have preferences. I am referring to the couples who are rude and obnoxious about it. There is a big difference between "We are not looking for ingle males please", as apposed to "NO SINGLE MALES, DON'T EVEN TRY, YOUR MESSAGES WILL BE DELETED!!"...
I understand swinging, I am in a relationship with a Bi girl and we also would not invite a guy. But I would not be an asshole about it.
I am told that I think this is a "fuck site"... Funny thing is that the last time I browsed the gallery, I saw hundreds of penises inside vagina's... So then is may very well not be a "fuck site", but when you meet a couple and the four of you go at it, that is called sex people! Sex: Fucking: Shagging: Romping: Screwing:... Arose by any other name......
Swinging is a lifestyle yes...... A lifestyle of SEX!!! If you think otherwise, then you are deluding yourself. I do not want to piss anyone off, and I have always been respectful in my comments, I have even been accepted by many on here as a friend.. But when ever a "single guy" or "straight male" has an opinion, even a valid one, he is shot down by couples ganging up on him. Not fair... Besides, the rude ones are very brave behind a keyboard, I bet they won't say disrespectful things face to face!
One of a hundred examples: I sent a message to a couple who had "straight male" under there preferences. A decent respectful message, introducing myself and politely asking if they would like to chat and see what transpires... The reply: "We do not play with single guys, if you took the time to read our profile you would see that. Go find another hole for your desperate cock! Do not message us again!"
Uncalled for! That was obviously hubby replying. If he told me to my face that I should find another hole for my cock, then I would have shown him another jaw for my fist!
Again.. Sorry if I offended anyone, was not the intention. I simply wanted to get the point across that us "single" swingers are also just after a fun time same as couples.. Granted, there are idiots on here and can understand the frustration of couples, but there are also decent guys that deserve some respect.
Quote by Adonis Stamina yes people are rude and yes couples are rude, but I hope I read your tread wrong, but read it as that couples have no preferences and if they advertise on the site they must take it as it comes. We on the site as a couple with preferences, and we on the site to make friends, we also on the site to respect other people, and we on the site because we can bring something to the party that single members cant. Who you are to a accused us of "Damn people, who do you think you are? The king and queen?! To those with such profiles and message responses - get off your high horse! Learn some basic etiquette and manners!" I hope I read it wrong but if its right then I wonder who must go and "Learn some basic etiquette and manners"
Not "damn people"... Damn, people... like saying "fokkit, mense"... You are definately not in the catagory I am speaking of. I am referring to a few other profiles that I have come across. Not you, promise...
This comes up under so many topics on this forum.
Stamina, reality is that people can choose who and what they want to associate with and niether you nor anyone else has the right to attack them for it. Being here does not mean that women or couples are here to service you or anyone else when you snap your fingers, so if people say no single guys, just move on. As I've said a few times elsewhere why bother if it's going to waste everyone's time. There are a lot of couples here who do play with single men and women.
Quote by playcouple This comes up under so many topics on this forum. Stamina, reality is that people can choose who and what they want to associate with and niether you nor anyone else has the right to attack them for it. Being here does not mean that women or couples are here to service you or anyone else when you snap your fingers, so if people say no single guys, just move on. As I've said a few times elsewhere why bother if it's going to waste everyone's time. There are a lot of couples here who do play with single men and women.
Again... Not about couples who do not play with singles.. My post is about how some are obnoxious and rude about it. But I am gonna leave this one alone now. Seems I am biting off more than I can chew.
From experience they get rude and obnoxious about it because so many just dont take a 'thanks but no thanks'. We have had very very insulting and sometimes even threatening replies from people when we have in a nice way told them that they are not what we are interested in, we are unlikely to bethe only ones who have been on the receiving end of someones tirade.
My 2 cents:
Keep in mind that checking "straight male" does not equate to "single male"
It could be a preference, just as some couples specifically look for bi males.
;)
C
Quote by playcouple Stamina, as point of interest you have a good profile
Well thank you very much, you have a very nice profile too. Definitely not one of those that I am speaking of here... Yours is of a very polite nature. Sexy too ...
Quote by KC_ My 2 cents: Keep in mind that checking "straight male" does not equate to "single male" It could be a preference, just as some couples specifically look for bi males. ;) C
I have thought of that and it is actually quite irritating that so many make this mistake... But that check box is actually for single males, just called straight males on this site. Many couples "assume" that it is for preference purposes, but actually not. Eg: They check "straight male" and "straight female" thinking that means a couple where both parties are straight, but it actually does not mean that.
Reading playcpl's message we have to concur that although we try and politely decline offers from single males we have been on the receiving end numerous times. We have been threatened more than once and even told the fact we have semi nude pics in our profile makes us fair game....if that's the mentality you only need one bad experience and you become very "anti single males" in a second. We accept there are a few genuine guys and although we are not interested in meeting have spoken with a few socially in the chat room but the bad apples far outweigh the few good chaps. It's not about judging all based on bad experiences it's the issue that it creates a bad vibe in a place where people are looking to connect with likeminded couples, or if they wish, singles.
Quote by Stamina My 2 cents: Keep in mind that checking "straight male" does not equate to "single male" It could be a preference, just as some couples specifically look for bi males. ;) C
I have thought of that and it is actually quite irritating that so many make this mistake... But that check box is actually for single males, just called straight males on this site. Many couples "assume" that it is for preference purposes, but actually not. Eg: They check "straight male" and "straight female" thinking that means a couple where both parties are straight, but it actually does not mean that. This has been raised a few times elsewhere in the forum. This is ambiguous and causes a lot confusion as single guys often interpret it as a single male is welcome, whereas a lot of couples, us included, see it reffering to neither a single male or a male in a couple, but just what kind of male is welcome. However if you read ALL the options together as a cohesive unit, then yes you are entirely correct, but keep in mind that most people read one option at a time, so the rest falls into vacuum between the ears (me included). Thinking that a specific option for 'single male/female' should be added. Maybe this site is just a social experiment to see how single males interact with others
The biggest problem here is that most men are infact "horn-dogs" driven by their desire (or need) to have as much sex as possible in their lifetime with as many partners as possible. I, on the other hand, enjoy sex as much as any red blooded male... BUT it does not control me. I still get laid the old fashioned way, face to face conversation and good old seduction. Being on this site simply "increases" my chances. I never "need" sex, only "want" it. This means that I do not see a "no" as rejection. The ones that say no thanks are the ones loosing out on what I have to offer so I simply take it as it comes.
Most men unfortunately take it as rejection and then become combative and arrogant. This casts us few decent guys in a bad light and we get the short end of the stick. My point is that not every man on this site (or sites like this) are desperate. Many guys are just as desirable as the girls they are interested in. I pride myself with standards and not all females will get the pleasure of my company, I am capable of walking away from an easy lay if the chemistry is not there for me. All here who have said "thanks but no thanks" to me will never know if I was a waste of time, or the best damn lover they have ever come across... I just get frustrated with assumptions! Just because the last 3 males came across as assholes, does not mean that I will be one too. Like a job interview... You didn't get the job because the next person had a better looking CV, but you were not given the opportunity to prove your worth...
Quote by Stamina The biggest problem here is that most men are infact "horn-dogs" driven by their desire (or need) to have as much sex as possible in their lifetime with as many partners as possible. ...
I would say it's more because of their own insecurities than them being "horn-dogs" . . .
The fact of the matter is....no matter how many excuses single guys make for their lack of reading and understanding profiles that quite clearly state they are not needed or wanted, they still do it. "only trying to be friendly"..."just saying hello". What utterly transparent attempts at trying to get laid.
Just read the profile, understand what it says and react accordingly!
Quote by Stamina I have thought of that and it is actually quite irritating that so many make this mistake... But that check box is actually for single males, just called straight males on this site. Many couples "assume" that it is for preference purposes, but actually not. Eg: They check "straight male" and "straight female" thinking that means a couple where both parties are straight, but it actually does not mean that.
You are WRONG - just because you have decided that it means something in particular does not mean that suddenly it does. "Straight male" most certainly does not mean "single male" on this site. The two phrases are not the same nor did "straight" suddenly change meaning in the dictionary to "someone without a partner" If you have been short-sighted, and misunderstood, declaring the meaning of very well used English words to have magically changed, does not save you embarrassment, it just makes you look silly. Moderators and Admin KEEP saying that they do not mean the same thing and yet. ..
Quote by LeeEC You are WRONG - just because you have decided that it means something in particular does not mean that suddenly it does. "Straight male" most certainly does not mean "single male" on this site. The two phrases are not the same nor did "straight" suddenly change meaning in the dictionary to "someone without a partner" If you have been short-sighted, and misunderstood, declaring the meaning of very well used English words to have magically changed, does not save you embarrassment, it just makes you look silly. Moderators and Admin KEEP saying that they do not mean the same thing and yet. ..
Actually when it states in the "what are you looking for" and there are options for: Straight couple Couple with bi male couple with bi female That would make "straight male" and "bi male" an option that you are searching for A single male for example mmf as it is totally separated from "searching for a couple" Now when I say single male above that doesn't mean necessarily "single", as it doesn't differentiate between "single" and "attached"... I can't understand why it would be thought that if you check the following: Straight couple Couple with bi male couple with bi female And you decide to check "straight/bi male" that you are meaning that that doesn't mean single guys as if you're looking for couples/ladies only then you've already made it clear if the couple you want has to be straight, or if there must be some bisexuality involved
Quote by Rob_69 Actually when it states in the "what are you looking for" and there are options for: Straight couple Couple with bi male couple with bi female That would make "straight male" and "bi male" an option that you are searching for A single male for example mmf as it is totally separated from "searching for a couple" Now when I say single male above that doesn't mean necessarily "single", as it doesn't differentiate between "single" and "attached"... I can't understand why it would be thought that if you check the following: Straight couple Couple with bi male couple with bi female And you decide to check "straight/bi male" that you are meaning that that doesn't mean single guys as if you're looking for couples/ladies only then you've already made it clear if the couple you want has to be straight, or if there must be some bisexuality involved
good point, but in spite of us saying very clearly that attached people playing without their partner is not what we are interested in we still get a lot of advances from married people (mostly men)
Quote by playcouple good point, but in spite of us saying very clearly that attached people playing without their partner is not what we are interested in we still get a lot of advances from married people (mostly men)
There will always be those who take chances thus being annoying and unfortunately giving all others a bad image... The reason that it mostly happens with "single guys" is due to the fact that there is a much higher volume of single/attached guys than couples and single ladies that are actively looking for fun... The biggest problem I see is that I would assume the majority of single/attached guys here aren't really "swingers" in the true meaning of the word and are rather looking for an easy opportunity at gaining free sex and satisfaction
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