So I have a newbie playmate on my hands who wants to be all romantic. .. Give me gifts and stuff ..
I'm not a romantic type so I quickly steered him in the direction of toys and chocolate body paint but what's the general consensus on this kind of thing. . Doesn't the idea of gifts and flowers encroach a little on "relationship" territory?
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gifts?
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I find that some men like to give little Gifts, flowers and something to chew on like chocolates, anything in the jewelery and clothing or perfume department is a total NO-NO,that is sorta VERY personal.
My GF totally went into a total *negative head spin* the one time it did happen. I did not accept the jewelry,and I never accept lingerie,So you might have to ask M how he feels about the idea. He is after all the one having to view the objects of *thanks* Anything TOOOOOOoo freguently and expensive and personal Is more like a *courting* thingie me thinks*
ANYTHING intended to be ROMANTIC should be cut dead in the butt immediately as that could really lead to complications
I do have this German friend whom I exchange little *gifts* with...he frequently sends me sex toys and REALLY good Enlarged photos to frame what he knows I would love. ( He is the one who gave me my famous little *butler* that everyone seems to LUVvvvvvvvvvvv.)
But I have to say he also includes L in his gifts ...like some special Liqueurs and such.I again send him some kinky toys I make specially for his him some SA wines when people I know goes and visits.
Just make sure the gent is on the up and up and knows all play is REALLY NSA (even if he becomes a regular playmate) and not an *INVOLVEMENT*.
I myself would also NOT have frequent sex with this guy...he might becoming over involved.
I would think giving any gift should be more for the COUPLE to both enjoy equally,and that would be okay !
Maybe I can be of assistance... I am a "gift buyer". So even something NSA would make me feel compelled to bring something as a gift each visit... Flowers being the most common. The reason is because I believe a lady deserves to be made to feel special. Most women like flowers (or at least the idea of getting flowers). It is a tactic too. A bribe if you will. On top of all this, there are still a few gentlemen left in the world. We are a different breed. A man be content on just getting the sex but will still want the female to know that he is a nice decent guy and gifts is one way that we attempt to prove this.
If he is like me, then no need to worry. He is probably just trying to impress you. Accept all he gives because it will make him feel like a fool if you don't.
Just as I said Stamina, a gift for the couple to enjoy together or something NOT of value. Nothing romantic, flowers and chocolates should be plain and NOT expensive and NO RED roses, it is the little things that would indicate *romantic* overturns that Lee should be careful off.
Also something to think about ..
If Lee is having sexual interactions with the gent on her own, with out her hubby present, the idea of gifts should be taken seriously.
Many a couple gets split by something that started all innocent like.
If M is there, a GIFT should always include him as well!! Like wine or that all 3 of them can enjoy the all the GIFT Bearer is enjoying the *spoils* of another man with her consent as she is also getting *spoiled* by 2 men.
Also ....BECAUSE it is Lee ,that is asking this kind of question, made ME sit up is a life-coach, If I remember correctly,(please correct me if I am wrong)She has excellent people skills and *reads people* with skill to do her job well.
If THESE gifts is making her uncomfortable, she most likely already knows the answer herself ,maybe she just needs to hear it from someone else aswell.
Like I said ,nothing wrong with flowers daisies or tulips or what ever...BUT never roses.
Thank PIB - I thought it would make a good discussion - seems I was right.
Note: We don't drink so wine would be inappropriate anyway
Anyways- What I have done: I've told him he can ONLY buy things that are for use in our play sessions. I don't want stuff I'm expected to take home per se.
I thought it was a good compromise (which I think takes into consideration Stamina's valid observation & all the other comments on the other side of the coin)
This newbie is still in sms conversation with me - he's so new he signed up, met me, and promptly deleted his profile, having decided he hit pay-dirt, first attempt. We're discussing rules, boundaries and so forth. I generally don't have this conversation until I've really decided they are a genuine prospect (though I'll admit to shutting things down very quickly - M says I'm too harsh - if I don't think they are a prospect).... This newbie & I meet first time next week.
I've several other interested parties tap tapping on my mailbox too... Not sure this "changing my profile type" was the most brilliant plan, but so far at least 2 decent prospects have presented themselves (no names mentioned here yet...) and after the 3 year frustration of trying to connect with a single guy who doesn't send me dick pics with captions like "Suck it, you know you want to!", this is a very welcome change.
I've not answered all the comments here so far because I don't want to shut down the discussion, so please keep the opinions coming
Note: We don't drink so wine would be inappropriate anyway
Anyways- What I have done: I've told him he can ONLY buy things that are for use in our play sessions. I don't want stuff I'm expected to take home per se.
I thought it was a good compromise (which I think takes into consideration Stamina's valid observation & all the other comments on the other side of the coin)
This newbie is still in sms conversation with me - he's so new he signed up, met me, and promptly deleted his profile, having decided he hit pay-dirt, first attempt. We're discussing rules, boundaries and so forth. I generally don't have this conversation until I've really decided they are a genuine prospect (though I'll admit to shutting things down very quickly - M says I'm too harsh - if I don't think they are a prospect).... This newbie & I meet first time next week.
I've several other interested parties tap tapping on my mailbox too... Not sure this "changing my profile type" was the most brilliant plan, but so far at least 2 decent prospects have presented themselves (no names mentioned here yet...) and after the 3 year frustration of trying to connect with a single guy who doesn't send me dick pics with captions like "Suck it, you know you want to!", this is a very welcome change.
I've not answered all the comments here so far because I don't want to shut down the discussion, so please keep the opinions coming
This is a nice topic for a change and also very relevant to the lifestyle.
Hope more people will commend. With their very own ideas and the why behind their positive or negative reasoning.
So you and this gent is still in the negotiation stage.
I then have to say I think he is trying to impress you by asking you what he might give you.
I got confused when you said he should bring a sex toy as a gift to the play-dates. BUT once again sex toys itself is expensive and to then discard it afterwards as you are not gong to take it home, I would also not think it is then a gift to even if he takes it home to bring it with every time you guys meet up.
Some gift ideas coming to mind.
Small special lubes are okay..as is massage oils and funny condoms (like glow in the dark) even very small nice smelling candles that could be used while you guys are at play that then can be discarded afterwards.
And yeah body chocolate is a nice I do Prefer the real thing....
Gifts of a few IOU`s is also something he can consider....and you can make him give that IOU when ever you choose to have it.
Can be something as innocent like a foot rub before you would even get he has to do a STRIP tease for you while you watch sipping something nice..hot chocolate when it is cold weather or a soda with lotsa ice on a hot humid day, Ice becomes a nice toy in itself.
Or something bad/kinky, like he has to wear ladies undies at YOUR next that would make fun of the play sessions.
Going of topic again...will stop the bus immediately.
Orgasminator
Question
What sort of wine would you bring to a playdate?
@ Mike_Pta
Your question is relevant if we are discussing *gifts* for a couple.
Most people do drink wine, (some like Lee and M and myself DO not) I am not a wine connoisseur, so I myself will not be able to tell you what wines to buy and what people also has their very own pallet for wines what they like and dislike.
I will always ask the people them selves what they usually like to drink. And then go buy a Bottle.
Guys I hope I need not really HAVE to say this....NEVER a BOX,Boxed wines is NOT for gifts, is just shows you have no *class* and you would want to impress them.
Okay now the people who DO buy boxed wine will want to kill me and kick my butt for *Looking down my nose at boxed wine*
It is okay for anyone to buy box wine..and pour it into a decanter for parties. BUT if it is a gift, a BOTTLE is the thing to buy
Lucky for me I live in the wine country and is very near to wine farms. So I do sometimes ask people who work on those farms how the wine is,and then buy if they recommend it.
Last little bottle I bought was a white wine...FORT SIMON ,375 ml platinum collection a Voignier Noble Late a Stellenbosch winery.
:smile: :P 
:lol2: Orgasminator
Quote by LeeEC
I don't think the wine was a suggestion that went with my "only for play" ruling. .. I prefer Appletizer for play
I was thinking in general for the thread, not as an idea for you. Me, I know nothing about wine and sometimes think about bringing a bottle with when I see a couple I have a history with as a gift. My problem is wine is like me going bra shopping, I'll get the pretty looking one with no clue if it's any good or fits.
Thanks for the idea PiB
I will say as a possible idea for a gift could be something for the bedroom like massage oils or so.
Sex God
Quote by Mike_Pta
I don't think the wine was a suggestion that went with my "only for play" ruling. .. I prefer Appletizer for play
I will say as a possible idea for a gift could be something for the bedroom like massage oils or so.
resistance is futile . . . .
NSA = No Strings Attached . . . . (physical experience)
Gifts = Some or other sort of expectancy (favours / return gifts etc)
Toys for Playtime = Heightened pleasure during playtime
Swing chat before a meet is partly to establish rules, if you have an issue with gifts, make it one of the rules you add, if other person is persistent about gifts, just imagine how the whole play-date experience is likely to turn out . . .
If a person is looking for more from NSA hook-ups then they should perhaps consider a dating site as an alternative route (the "perhaps" is largely because I have zero knowledge about dating sites)
@Playcouple said it perfectly . . . . . Steer Clear of people like this
These are my views, if you do not agree with them, you have every right not to, but like I said, these are MY views.
Quote by Mike_Pta
I don't think the wine was a suggestion that went with my "only for play" ruling. .. I prefer Appletizer for play
I was thinking in general for the thread, not as an idea for you. Me, I know nothing about wine and sometimes think about bringing a bottle with when I see a couple I have a history with as a gift. My problem is wine is like me going bra shopping, I'll get the pretty looking one with no clue if it's any good or fits.
Thanks for the idea PiB
I will say as a possible idea for a gift could be something for the bedroom like massage oils or so.
bra wise its meant to cum off quiickly, so unless it is totally wrong fit you could be onto something there
Quote by Gr8time2live
So Lee,
What's going on with your newbie? You have gone very quiet about him. Get any further? What gifts did he bring you?
Gr8
Really? You want me to kiss and tell? What if the newbie was you?
I think that's bad form - what do others think?
My husband always says... you don't want other people to talk about your playdates with them right?
So we won't talk about your playdates with them
Sex God
Quote by LeeEC
So Lee,
What's going on with your newbie? You have gone very quiet about him. Get any further? What gifts did he bring you?
Gr8
Really? You want me to kiss and tell? What if the newbie was you?
I think that's bad form - what do others think?
My husband always says... you don't want other people to talk about your playdates with them right?
So we won't talk about your playdates with them
Fair comment and good guide lines . . . only thing is, as far as this particular chap is concerned, we already know just about everything else except play details . . . . . . . and if it was @Gr8time2live he might have had a word or two for you
