Join the most popular community of South African swingers now

Couples and their profiles

last reply

48 replies

4.7k views

0 watchers

4 likes

Are there single guys who know how to behave in the swinging lifestyle?

16 votes remaining

Yes (25 votes) 156%

No (1 vote) 6%

0 likes 8 Mar 2013

I've noticed that there are quite a few profiles floating out there where under interests the couple lists "Straight Male" as one of the things they are looking for, however.....if you read their profile through you will see that they actually don't want single males. Now, I know that there are loads of dumbass males out there who don't realise that being a couple that swing doesn't make her a slut who takes on every man she meets. Those are the obnoxious, irksome guys who are the cause that guys like me who are kind of decent (I've got references to support that statement wink

wink

) does not even get the chance to make new friends. Have you as couple ever thought about the fact that your profile's interests (or info) might bring across the wrong message to those stupid guys out there? If you don't want guys make sure your WHOLE profile brings that message across. Not all of us single guys are sex crazed maniacs with dick pics all over the show trying to impress the ladies into bed with our manhoods. Neither are a lot of us they type who would propose one on one action with the lady of the couple behind hubby's back. There are a lot of us who respect couples and their decision not to get involved with single guys, but please, respect us as well. If your profile states you are interested in Single men, at least take the time to look at our profiles should we contact you, and if you are not interested, just say so. One of the cornerstones in swinging (according to me) is respect for the other people who are involved with you. Therefor I will respect you and your decisions, but just because you are a couple doesn't make you better than me. I'd appreciate a polite "no thanks, not now", or some similar response, not just a cold shoulder. Is that too much to ask? I know there will be a lot of "hate comments" to what this single guy has said now, but hopefully there will be those of you who agree with me as well

Sexlightened

0 likes 8 Mar 2013

Manners are something that we are (or should be) taught from a young age. Most of us are well-mannered in every other interaction with people eg work, family, vanilla friends etc Why should it be any different here? We pride ourselves on the fact that we do read EVERY profile of every person who mails and/or winks at us. We answer all mails and/or winks of profiles which fit our description of whom we will respond to. We only ignore those who blatantly have ignored our request not to be contacted by them. PS: To Phil, if you have the time, please read our profile and let us know if you find it ambiguous in any way?

0 likes 9 Mar 2013

As for the question on your poll, it's a definate yes answer. Mostly cause I know you are one of the few keepers from all the singles out there wink

wink

I do hope our profile is clear in saying yes we are intrested but please, we'll contact you....And that kinda goes not only for the single guys but also the (very few) ladies out there. But of course a profile is ever evolving and think I can actually go add a few things. Like even sometimes couples don't reply! Even to just say no thanx! I don't need reason why answer is no, or you are not intrested, it is your choice! Same goes for if we say no thnx, it's our choice...although i rarely say no thnx to a good chat lol Very well put Phill, there are many who make it hard for the vew of you who truly understand and repect the lifestyle and even fewer who actually respect us ladies!

localcouple1234

Sexlightened

1 like 9 Mar 2013

We so agree with you, Phil. Our profile states exactly want we want, and whom we would like to meet. In our almost 2 years on the site we learned to spot profiles to avoid. We still try to answer every single mail we get...even the ones that says "would you like to fuck?"...even if it's just to give the guys a piece of our mind. Sad that some guys must screw up stuff for the nice guys...

Master of Sex

3 likes 9 Mar 2013

When we were still looking for playmates, our profile clearly stated that we were only interested in people in Gauteng, preferably Jhb, and what ages we were comfortable playing with. Despite the clear profile write up, and the sentence "if you are outside of this age range and want to play, we will not respond to your messages" we got bombarded by men outside of this age range, who aparently had not learnt how to scroll down to read the "about" section on the profiles they are looking at. A few of these people sent a few messages, until we sent one back saying that they are outside of our age range, but if they had read our profile, they would know that. Sorry if this comes across as bitchy, but it gets really tiring having to wade through so many messages from people who hadn't taken the time to read our profile. I felt that it wasn't worth taking the time to reply to them. C

Sexpert

0 likes 9 Mar 2013

amen phil

0 likes 10 Mar 2013

Quote by NawtyCat
Manners are something that we are (or should be) taught from a young age. Most of us are well-mannered in every other interaction with people eg work, family, vanilla friends etc Why should it be any different here?
We pride ourselves on the fact that we do read EVERY profile of every person who mails and/or winks at us. We answer all mails and/or winks of profiles which fit our description of whom we will respond to. We only ignore those who blatantly have ignored our request not to be contacted by them.
PS: To Phil, if you have the time, please read our profile and let us know if you find it ambiguous in any way?

A very well written profile where the 'interested in' section is in line with the 'about us' section. You know the sad thing about this topic? Most of the couples who will reply to this topic will be the ones who are like you and Erotic_naughty. The ones who know how to clearly state what they want and how to handle unwanted 'visitors'. To all the others I am probably yet again another whining male looking for 'action'.
The kind of couples profiles mentioned in my post actually says a lot more to me about the couple and makes me wonder if they really know what they want?

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

Quote by phil
I've noticed that there are quite a few profiles floating out there where under interests the couple lists "Straight Male" as one of the things they are looking for, however.....if you read their profile through you will see that they actually don't want single males.
.........
Not all of us single guys are sex crazed maniacs with dick pics all over the show trying to impress the ladies into bed with our manhoods. Neither are a lot of us they type who would propose one on one action with the lady of the couple behind hubby's back. There are a lot of us who respect couples and their decision not to get involved with single guys, but please, respect us as well. If your profile states you are interested in Single men, at least take the time to look at our profiles should we contact you, and if you are not interested, just say so.
.........l

Thx, Phil!
This is how I see my 'rules of engagement' in a willing couple's company!
Most couples have excellent profile write ups (clear and concise) - I know immediately that I can stay away and let them be (and maybe ..... just enjoy drooling over their photos that they so handsomely published - showing very good taste!!)

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

Quote by Gerrie2012
I've noticed that there are quite a few profiles floating out there where under interests the couple lists "Straight Male" as one of the things they are looking for, however.....if you read their profile through you will see that they actually don't want single males.
.........
Not all of us single guys are sex crazed maniacs with dick pics all over the show trying to impress the ladies into bed with our manhoods. Neither are a lot of us they type who would propose one on one action with the lady of the couple behind hubby's back. There are a lot of us who respect couples and their decision not to get involved with single guys, but please, respect us as well. If your profile states you are interested in Single men, at least take the time to look at our profiles should we contact you, and if you are not interested, just say so.
.........l

Thx, Phil!
This is how I see my 'rules of engagement' in a willing couple's company!
Most couples have excellent profile write ups (clear and concise) - I know immediately that I can stay away and let them be (and maybe ..... just enjoy drooling over their photos that they so handsomely published - showing very good taste!!)
Just have a good look Gerrie, yes, there are good profiles, but why are there so many profiles where their interests states 'single guys' but their about me section is totally different. I challenge you to try and just say hi to couples with such profiles and see if the even greet you!
Each couple does have the right to choose whom they interact with, i will never dispute that, but why can't they act according to what they say in their profile? Why be 'rude' with single males and not even greet them when your profile says you are interested in them?

Sexlightened

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

Inclined to feel for Phil. Having been a single male naturist for the best part of 40 years I know all about the discrimination. (note, single female naturists are ALLWAYS welcome somehow). But it seems that an awful lot of couples have had endless shit with single males (and dogs) over the years to cause them to react like that. Maybe, as single males who are not likely to be hit on by single males, we dont fully realise what is out there. To the couples I say, live with it, its going to happen, on a site like this that allows any type of flea-infested potential serial molester with a computer and adsl line (like me?) to register as easily as it is. I'm sure the systems allow you to block for ever, all single males (and dogs) that get up your nose.

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

Unfortunately a lot of guys see the swinging lifestyle as a way to get a quick lay. I know of a few cases where single guys meet a couple and then proposition the lady for affairs etc behind her partner's back. Yrs, I fully understand their frustration when it comes to dealing with single guys and I empathise with them. However, bitching and moaning about single guys when your profile is ambiguous, now that is just stupid.

Master of Sex

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

Phil Our profile says no single men but yet they still try their luck and every time a person has to try and be polite in saying no we only deal with married cpls or the miss guider single lady that comes our way. not just do the single guys just try and have an affair behind the husbands back, but they become very nasty if the lady says NO not behind her husbands back. they also think they can handle the lady like a whore and handle her rough with NO respect JOYRIDER This was not a good ride

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

Quote by joyrider
Phil
Our profile says no single men but yet they still try their luck and every time a person has to try and be polite in saying no we only deal with married cpls or the miss guider single lady that comes our way.
not just do the single guys just try and have an affair behind the husbands back, but they become very nasty if the lady says NO not behind her husbands back. they also think they can handle the lady like a whore and handle her rough with NO respect
JOYRIDER
This was not a good ride

I am sorry to hear of your experiences but I am not going to apologise for those guys as they don't belong in the swinging lifestyle. I applaud you for a concise profile. I will never contact a couple like you as you clearly state that you are not interested in single men. However, my pet peeve is those couples who list their interest in single men but then the profile description states otherwise, or when you do contact a couple they just don't have the decency to politely say 'No thanks, but we are not interested.'
Perhaps we should petition the moderators to review such profiles and ask the couples in question to rectify their profiles?

Master of Sex

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

Phil I agree on the last part of your statement. i just think some time when the people fill in their profile they some times do get confused on what is been asked. But that is me now playing devils advocate Joyrider trying to make the best of things

Orgasminator

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

I think you made a good suggestion, but out of expierence you can answer every mail from people but assure you that will take some time. Because a new couple profile holder, and have some pics on make it worse, received alot of those mails. Yes thats a problem that the couple add differ from what he they looked for, the reason is that they give some attention to there add but tick the boxes without thinking. But to asked the mods to looked at that are asking the impossible they did not have the time to scrutinise each and every profile. Something that will help are to approved every profile in the beginning but SH did not have that in place. But think the profile holder have a respossibility to read a profile very carefull before contact a person, then there will be mush more people who will whant and make contact and reply on such members mail. Beware if you had pic's on your profile.

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

:idea: I would love to meet couples (that are looking for single males) to prove to them that I will stick with their rules and wishes and become best friends There are people that can vouch for me! :smitten:

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

Quote by Adonis
I think you made a good suggestion, but out of expierence you can answer every mail from people but assure you that will take some time. Because a new couple profile holder, and have some pics on make it worse, received alot of those mails.
Yes thats a problem that the couple add differ from what he they looked for, the reason is that they give some attention to there add but tick the boxes without thinking.
But to asked the mods to looked at that are asking the impossible they did not have the time to scrutinise each and every profile. Something that will help are to approved every profile in the beginning but SH did not have that in place.
But think the profile holder have a respossibility to read a profile very carefull before contact a person, then there will be mush more people who will whant and make contact and reply on such members mail.
Beware if you had pic's on your profile.

I beg to differ, I believe that it is the profile owner who should double check their profiles before submitting them to makes sure that their preferences are correct and in line with their profile decription! It is the rrsponsibility of the visitor to the profile to respect the wishes of the profile owner!

Orgasminator

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

You totaly right the single was never wrong on the site, they have problems finding there own women, its easier to try and screw the wife of a couple

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

Quote by Adonis
You totaly right the single was never wrong on the site, they have problems finding there own women, its easier to try and screw the wife of a couple

Ouch!
Definitely not easier. Need the hubbie's permission.
This is a 2-way street? because a hubby can hide behind a bi-wife profile thinking it's easier to screw another couple's lady?
:twisted:

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

Quote by Adonis
You totaly right the single was never wrong on the site, they have problems finding there own women, its easier to try and screw the wife of a couple

Adonis, ja, wat jul sê is waar van meeste mans, maar die punt hier is dat daar profiles is waar dit wat die couple in belangstel ('n man of vrou of ander couple) nie ooreenstem met wat in hul profile beskrywing staan nie en dan moan hul oor enkel mans wat hul kontak en is ongeskik met die ordentlike mans wat hul kontak op grond van inligting wat verkeerdelik deur hul op hul profiel geplaas is.
My punt is dat indien hul van die begin af die regte inligting op hul profiel plaas, ordentlike ouens hul sal respekteer. Dan sal hul minder hassels hê omdat die mans wat nog integriteit het hul nie sal kontak nie.
Ek weet dat die dame in die couple haar maat gekies het om haar lewensmaat te wees, nie vir my nie. Daarom het ek die grootste respek vir hul verhouding en hul vertroue in mekaar en ek sal hul nie kontak indien hul op hul profiel sê hul soek nie enkel mans nie, maar hul moet nie op my neersien of met my ongeskik kom wees as hul 'n fout gemaak het in hul profiel nie!

0 likes 11 Mar 2013

All of you are making good statements.... What gets me everytime I have a look at a single guy's profile, is those ones who tick the "Gay female" or Gay female couple" block! Now seriously....when the lady is Bi, ya she might be intrested, but gay! Surely they should realise than that those ladies won't really be intrested in a man? I get the feeling those usually are the gents who are simply looking for a quick f*ck and not the FWB part we most enjoy.

0 likes 12 Mar 2013

I think I wanna RE-POST my deleted forum of * My SATIRE`s VIEW on profiles and swing.* it will go so nicely with this forum topic. @ E_N I always laugh when I see the males Tick of that they would love to play with a lesbian couple or a lesbian. they most certainly then do not know that any gay lady would never let a man watch them have sex,what to say have sex with them..... But I also do know it is a great fantasy for MOST men to watch gay ladies at play, and then you do get your Neanderthal male who think any gay lady just needs to have sex with him, and she will not be a lesbian anymore or ever again.

0 likes 12 Mar 2013

Ok, so I've started to ask couples to check their profiles should I see that their "looking for" and "About" sections are not matching. I've had a nice couple actually thanking me for pointing that out as they didn't realise it! Now call me ignorant, but don't people look at their own profiles every now and then? Or don't you double check your profile after you've submitted it?

Casanova

0 likes 13 Mar 2013

I think that when you join a web site most just tick anything to get started. They then don't go back and change to what exactly They are looking for.

Orgasminator

0 likes 13 Mar 2013

This all sounds as if single men are not wanted Although I am here alone my wife does have threesomes with me and for her I look for single men and try to get them together If a single man is well mannered, polite, attractive and above all well hung I will introduce him to my wife and then it is up to him to seduce her and hopefully he is a good lover as well This has worked for years So there is place for single men

0 likes 13 Mar 2013

Quote by NawtyCat
Manners are something that we are (or should be) taught from a young age. Most of us are well-mannered in every other interaction with people eg work, family, vanilla friends etc Why should it be any different here?
We pride ourselves on the fact that we do read EVERY profile of every person who mails and/or winks at us. We answer all mails and/or winks of profiles which fit our description of whom we will respond to. We only ignore those who blatantly have ignored our request not to be contacted by them.
PS: To Phil, if you have the time, please read our profile and let us know if you find it ambiguous in any way?

I have mailed you in the past (twice)... Both times I was friendly and my messages were basically ice-breakers, requesting the possibility of a chat. Both messages were read (not highlighted in my sent items). Both were ignored...

Casanova

0 likes 13 Mar 2013

I do believe that if one mails another person and you are not interested then have the common decency of Replying back and say that you acknowledge the message but that you aren't interested. If I mailed Someone and they reply saying they're not interested, I wont be offended. It also stops the repeating messages To the same couples or singles and then they think you a stalker.

Orgasminator

0 likes 13 Mar 2013

I want to have this one as an example "Kan ons jul fotos sien groot asb!" thats the first mail received, what must we make of it, the sender did not chat or mail at any time must we send a mail back waisting our time or what. For intrust it is a couple I would never send a mail like that and think the receiver must take time to reply. Hope i received a good answer

0 likes 13 Mar 2013

Quote by Pussinboots1
I think I wanna RE-POST my deleted forum of * My SATIRE`s VIEW on profiles and swing.*
it will go so nicely with this forum topic.
....

I dare you, PIB! As I would like to read it again!

0 likes 13 Mar 2013

Quote by georgeous
I do believe that if one mails another person and you are not interested then have the common decency of
Replying back and say that you acknowledge the message but that you aren't interested. If I mailed
Someone and they reply saying they're not interested, I wont be offended. It also stops the repeating messages
To the same couples or singles and then they think you a stalker.

I can only agree!
We are a community! As members of a swinger's community EVERYBODY must use the MAILS (don't read - single - males!!) as opportunities - We can see it as somebody else passing you on the street, then look them in the eye and recognise their (opportunistic?) greeting by greeting back, reflecting the same (sometimes I see a 'dikbek' instead?) enthusiasm!!
We say that if you want to get someone to smile, you first smile at them and MOST people will mirror your smile back at you!!!
wink

wink