Are unanswered chat requests just rude or normal?

Warming the Bed

0 likes 13 Sep 2013

If you send a chat request that is unanswered, obviously the reciever is not interested. That is understandable, but is it not just polite to send a 'no thank you' in reply? Most members request politness or respect in their info, but many display lack of manners in this respect...or is this the norm? Just wondering...

Adonis

Orgasminator

0 likes 14 Sep 2013

Ek wil graag kommentaar lewer op hierdie vraag of bekommernis. Ek is van mening dat dit baie ongeskik is van enige iemand om nie 'n "Chat request' of e-pos terug te antwoord al is dit net met dankie maar nee dankie. Maar sulke stellings is in baie gevalle ook baie eensydig om dit sagkens te stel. Mbt tot "Chat request" kan jy die voorbeeld van e-posse gebruik maar baie mense sien nie eers jy rig 'n versoek in die pool want hulle sit nie voltyds en lees nie. Maar probeer sy belangstel ontlok en hy gaan jou antwoord, maar verhgeet van "'Whisper" sonder om eers in die pool kontak te maak. Ek wil my 2 sent ingooi oor e-posse wat op dieslfde neerkom. Maar ek gaan my mening probeer regverdig deur die volgende voorbeeld. Eerstens maak ek die stelling dat ek my nog nooit skuldig gemaak het aan dit om nie 'n e-pos, "Chat reguest" omdat ek dit nie gesien het nie, te antwoord nie, ja al is dit met dankie nee dankie. Maar as die persone of persone dan my profile sou lees en daar staan in geen enkellopende persone, geen cheatery, geen aparte kamers noem nog baie voorkeure op, wat in mense se profiles verskyn. Sou jy nou sien dat jy aan sekere van die kriteria nie voldoen nie, hoekom sal jy vir die persoon 'n e-pos stuur om te se jy dink hy sal in jou belangstel. Weet jy hoe voel dit om in die oggend, en dit is in my geval, tot 20 e-pste in my mailbox te kry en ek verseker jou nie een van hulle het werklik na my profiel gekyk nie. Die meeste e-poste het hulle ontstaan uit die pool uit want Adonis is redelik bo aan die lys. Hoekom maak ek hierdie stelling, Ek was so 'n tyd gelede omtrent nooit in die pool en verseker julle ek het ook omtrent geen e-pos gekry nie. Doen maar die eksperiment en 'n u sal verbaas wees. Daar is natuurlik die ander stelling dat die persoon se profiel so onvoleddig is dat jy geen idee kan kry wat is sy voorkeure en belangstelling is nie, en daar is baie van hulle, hoekom vir watter rede sal jy aan daardie profiel 'n e-pos stuur. As sy besonderhede nie volledig is nie dan weet jy mos dit is 'n "bullshitter, en dat daar mos geen manier kan wees dat hy jou e-pos sal beantwoord nie. Ek gaan nie eers die voorbeeld van afstand bespreek nie. Begin 'n E-pos met persoonlike kontak deur te begin om die persoon te vertel dit wat jy in sy profiel gelees het prikkel ook jou belangstelling en vind gemeenskaplike raakvlake en ek verseker jou daardie persoon gaan jou antwoord. Maar vergeet van die standaard vrae, want die word sommer vir jou voorsien ook, en die laaste ding is moenie begin met pics nie, jou saak het jy net daar verloor.

Unknown User

0 likes 15 Sep 2013

The "chat request" you refer to - is this inside the chatrooms? or is this another form of request? Is there any possiblity that the people you are sending this chat request to are not seeing the message - for example - if you are using the "quick message" system on their profile there is a VERY good chance that people aren't seeing your message - I know of members on this site for over a year before they figured out how to read their quick messages.

cumminglinguist

Warming the Bed

0 likes 15 Sep 2013

no, I am talking about a inbox message asking politely if they would care to chat. As I did to you when I first joined. You, and others have answered and politely declined...and that is good manners. However, others couldnt care less and just dont bother answering. I can understand ignoring lewd or suggestive messages, but politness should be answered with the same. That is common decency. Or maybe I am jurt oldfasioned?

Unknown User

0 likes 16 Sep 2013

Well, from experience I know that sometimes you just want to say no thanks but you can't really say why, which is what you'd like to do, since most people I've said just "no thanks" to, actually argue with me! (Thanks for not doing that) I've had three guys tell me various versions of "what the hell is wrong with you?", one "but I've got a big dick" & one guy claimed he'd never been turned down ever, which I find pretty difficult to believe since I've seen his photos.... smile

& sometimes you can't say why because ... well it's difficult to say, "you're my mate's psycho-ex and I have no interest in shagging your sorry bits!" Coz well, it's kinda revealing of your identity... So sometimes you sits and thinks on your response or ponder your feeling to see if it's really "no thanks", or just "you're not my first choice and maybe I'm just fussy" - coz everyone knows I am.... And sometimes sitting and thinking on these things means you forget to respond.... I've definitely done this before. Plus I'm often in two minds because most of the time there isn't anywhere near enough info on the profiles of people contacting me to even get a feel for the person, so I don't know what to say to a person who clearly is just fishing rather than actually investing in the lifestyle. They end up making me feel like a school teacher correcting homework, and really that is So Not A Turn On. Also single chicks usually get bombarded with so much mail, no person could cope with the requirements of responding to all of it, so if I mail a single female profile, I don't hold my breath... ever.

Mike_Pta

Orgasminator

0 likes 16 Sep 2013

Lol I've had the "what hell is wrong with you why are you even here" message also, he wasn't impressed when I said no thanks but your an dick so I'm not interested (his message was just a pic of his dick). Also apparently it's rude to tell someone I'm not a prostitute who abandons his entire day to hook up with some random dude who sent one message. I believe if you send an initial message ( which is not in reply to a quickie ad) asking to meet up on the same day for a hook-up then your calling me a prostitute with nothing better to do with my life than wait for easy sex. So I agree with you when you say you don't always want to say no since some guys can be assholes with rejection but personally I prefer rejection to no reply. My best rejection reply is to say I have exams so I'm gonna be busy over the next few days, leaves no room to say its them and they normally don't call back later.

playcouple

Casanova

0 likes 16 Sep 2013

Quote by LeeEC
Well, from experience I know that sometimes you just want to say no thanks but you can't really say why, which is what you'd like to do, since most people I've said just "no thanks" to, actually argue with me! (Thanks for not doing that)
I've had three guys tell me various versions of "what the hell is wrong with you?", one "but I've got a big dick" & one guy claimed he'd never been turned down ever, which I find pretty difficult to believe since I've seen his photos....
& sometimes you can't say why because ...
well it's difficult to say, "you're my mate's psycho-ex and I have no interest in shagging your sorry bits!"
Coz well, it's kinda revealing of your identity...
So sometimes you sits and thinks on your response or ponder your feeling to see if it's really "no thanks", or just "you're not my first choice and maybe I'm just fussy" - coz everyone knows I am....
And sometimes sitting and thinking on these things means you forget to respond.... I've definitely done this before.
Plus I'm often in two minds because most of the time there isn't anywhere near enough info on the profiles of people contacting me to even get a feel for the person, so I don't know what to say to a person who clearly is just fishing rather than actually investing in the lifestyle. They end up making me feel like a school teacher correcting homework, and really that is So Not A Turn On.
Also single chicks usually get bombarded with so much mail, no person could cope with the requirements of responding to all of it, so if I mail a single female profile, I don't hold my breath... ever.

Agree with you,most cant accept a thanks but no thanks. We generally try to reply to all, but where someone is obviously not our cup of tea and didn't bother reading our profile first doesn't deserve a reply, we used to reply by along the line of 'did you actually read our profile', don't do that anymore. Dow someone has not even bothered to fill in the basics we dong reply. Those that think its rude, try replying to or debating that with a few people per day, you suddenly finds yourself not enjoying what should be a pleasurable passtime, you also start being grouchy with those that have taken the trouble and neglecting them which is even worse.
So rather than questioning the etiquette of those that are here for real and just ignore many 'hi wanna chat', 'can I see yours pics', 'are you interested' who would, with the use of a single braincell, see that they are not what you are looking for, question those very same one's manners for wasting everyone's time.
Pet hate, those that have fake pics up, or change their nic thinking you wont notice

playcouple

Casanova

0 likes 16 Sep 2013

Quote by Mike_Pta
Lol I've had the "what hell is wrong with you why are you even here" message also, he wasn't impressed when I said no thanks but your an dick so I'm not interested (his message was just a pic of his dick).
Also apparently it's rude to tell someone I'm not a prostitute who abandons his entire day to hook up with some random dude who sent one message. I believe if you send an initial message ( which is not in reply to a quickie ad) asking to meet up on the same day for a hook-up then your calling me a prostitute with nothing better to do with my life than wait for easy sex.
So I agree with you when you say you don't always want to say no since some guys can be assholes with rejection but personally I prefer rejection to no reply. My best rejection reply is to say I have exams so I'm gonna be busy over the next few days, leaves no room to say its them and they normally don't call back later.

:giggle:

cumminglinguist

Warming the Bed

1 like 16 Sep 2013

...as a guy who gets ignored/rejected A LOT, I would prefer an honest reply. However, it is what it is, and it aint gonna change... but thank you for your comments/replies! There are some well mannered people around...

Mike_Pta

Orgasminator

0 likes 17 Sep 2013

Quote by cumminglinguist
...as a guy who gets ignored/rejected A LOT, I would prefer an honest reply. However, it is what it is, and it aint gonna change... but thank you for your comments/replies! There are some well mannered people around...

Add a few non penis pictures and write a bit more about yourself and I'm sure you will see results. Place a little effort in your profile and stand out from the crowd.

playcouple

Casanova

0 likes 17 Sep 2013

Something that will help is if you get your profile and a pic of yourself verified, there are a lot of BSers on here that are here to get pics, which do find their way onto porn sites on the web, and if a profile is verified we see it as the person is real, till then we take it with a pinch of salt, unless we go on cam with them.

cumminglinguist

Warming the Bed

0 likes 17 Sep 2013

Thank you for the replies and advice. I really appreciate it.

playcouple

Casanova

0 likes 17 Sep 2013

A good starting point for reference of the kind of profile that will almost always get a reply is Mike_pta's profile. Would put his as one of the best single guy profiles

SDM

Sex God

0 likes 17 Sep 2013

Quote by playcouple
A good starting point for reference of the kind of profile that will almost always get a reply is Mike_pta's profile. Would put his as one of the best single guy profiles

Now if i was a skeptical type of guy rotflmao

. . . .. Let us know if this tactic worked guys . . . lol

Unknown User

0 likes 17 Sep 2013

I happen to agree , Mike_pta's profile is an excellent example of a very good single guy profile. If he were physically closer to us, we would definitely have approached him based on that profile! Well done Mike for setting the bar so high!

Mike_Pta

Orgasminator

0 likes 17 Sep 2013

Thanks guys, your making me blush here

SDM

Sex God

0 likes 18 Sep 2013

Quote by Mike_Pta
Thanks guys, your making me blush here

hey dude, clever way to get a bump in the number of hits on your profile .. . . :thumbup: I am in PTA next week, perhaps I should recruit you to write a new profile for me rotflmao

Mike_Pta

Orgasminator

0 likes 18 Sep 2013

Quote by SDMR
Thanks guys, your making me blush here

hey dude, clever way to get a bump in the number of hits on your profile .. . . :thumbup: I am in PTA next week, perhaps I should recruit you to write a new profile for me rotflmao

Lol I had nothing to do with the advertising

Unknown User

0 likes 18 Sep 2013

Quote by SDMR
Thanks guys, your making me blush here

hey dude, clever way to get a bump in the number of hits on your profile .. . . :thumbup: I am in PTA next week, perhaps I should recruit you to write a new profile for me rotflmao

Hey SDMR, there's not much wrong with your profile, maybe just needs a little "fleshing out" on the "about me" section.... wink

But your insightful comments on the forum are a superb advert for your intellectual (and other!) abilities anyway!! I have always enjoyed reading your posts. Now you just need to start getting the desired responses from the female gender!!!!..........
Love your humour, mate!

Unknown User

0 likes 20 Sep 2013

If its any consolation to the single guys, couples get ignored as well. We have messaged couples that we think sound interesting and out some effort into our message but often they are ignored Doesn't stop them checking out our profile every day though smile

playcouple

Casanova

0 likes 22 Sep 2013

One for the single guys out there - just had it now - if a couple or someone replies to it with a no for any reason dont carry on pushing it, their reply is out of courtesy and their reason is probably so as not to be rude so leave it at that before they do get rude

Unknown User

0 likes 23 Sep 2013

Quote by PerfectFit
If its any consolation to the single guys, couples get ignored as well.
We have messaged couples that we think sound interesting and out some effort into our message but often they are ignored
Doesn't stop them checking out our profile every day though

That is the classic "we're not sure yet" reaction. ... they are still uncertain either about you or their own wants... they may yet come around. . I know sometimes I'm tempted to hold off on replying coz I know our calendar is hectic and I have no idea when we'd meet up..

Unknown User

0 likes 23 Sep 2013

Quote by playcouple
One for the single guys out there - just had it now - if a couple or someone replies to it with a no for any reason dont carry on pushing it, their reply is out of courtesy and their reason is probably so as not to be rude so leave it at that before they do get rude

Good advice... for anyone really....

Mike_Pta

Orgasminator

0 likes 23 Sep 2013

Plus when you act like ass, your guaranteed no ass. Take a no, say thanks for the reply and hope they reconsider

Unknown User

0 likes 17 Feb 2017

Knew someone out there had to have asked this question before.

Made for interesting reading.

I confess that i don't reply to all mails or chat requests.

ramrod

Forum Virgin

0 likes 21 Feb 2017

What a pity you don't reply. I'd like to chat to you

wolfman

Sexlightened

1 like 3 Mar 2017

OOH please guys (&gals), what do you expect? A politely worded message saying that unfortunately Venus is not in conjunction with Jupiter therefore the kinky shit you were contemplating is simply just not on the cards? Or: your tastefully executed dickpicks unfortunately show single-ply paper on the toilet roll, I insist on 3ply so I guess there's no future for us? To put it in a nutshell, unanswered chat requests simply mean: not interested, move along, go away, vamos, dawaai ......

Unknown User

0 likes 8 Mar 2017

I can understand why email messages go unanswered.

If you don't read my profile and my interests and fall within what I am looking for, you will get a polite "thanks but no thanks" reply. If you are going to be a douche and pester me with mails or bad language after that, you will get blocked. If I respectfully declined a chat, why get all agro on me? That's the kind of thing that most people want to avoid and why they would rather not reply than replying politely and recieving verbal abuse in return.

The funny thing is, it is mostly single males who display this kind of behaviour!