What’s the most exciting time in life? Is it the first kiss? Dating and searching for a partner? Why is it so exciting? Is it the flirtation, suspense, and excitement of the unknown? What’s going to happen during or after the date? These are the aspects missing from a long-term relationship, and if we are being honest with ourselves, we miss these moments. So, how do you rekindle some excitement and adventure in a long-term relationship or marriage? Start dating again and meeting new people. Enter swinging and the friends with benefits lifestyle. There is more media coverage, movies, and Netflix shows coming out today on the subject than ever before. Google logs 600,000 searches a month for the term “swinging” and “friends with benefits,” and there are lots of clubs, social events, and vacations available for those interested in swinging. Katy Perry’s song “I Kissed a Girl” propelled girl-on-girl experimentation into the mainstream. All of a sudden, trying it out was suddenly popular, and this is the sentiment of many couples who remain together but decide to add the experimentation and exploration of swinging into their marriages and long-term relationships. Today, women have been found to initiate swinging more often and they are using it as an opportunity to explore their own desires. Men are loving this as they fulfill their ultimate fantasies of threesomes and multiple partners. So, let’s do a deep dive into what is driving the popularity of swinging and how it can transform a relationship. Swinging typically refers to couples switching sexual partners with other couples, but “the lifestyle” encompasses people looking to have recreational sex or sexual experiences with anyone outside of the relationship. This might include inviting a third party for a threesome or attending sex-positive clubs or parties. The urban dictionary describes swinging as a lifestyle of non-monogamy where sexual relations occur outside the established couple. Swingers are people who feel the need to explore and get satisfaction from others outside the primary partner. It is generally only successful when both partners engage in it with other couples and there is complete trust and security in the relationship. Considered part of the alternative lifestyle, swinging was often frowned upon and shunned by normal society. It was believed to be in the same realm as cheating and infidelity, but swinging couples report more happiness by following this lifestyle and generally do not get divorced. With swinging, there is no cheating, lying, and sneaking around, which often leads to trust issues. Instead, couples enjoy the night or weekend that they devote to meeting other couples and any exploration is done with complete consent from all those involved. Swinging is often considered safer than dating because you are not meeting strangers alone, and though there is sexual fun, swinging often leads to long-term friendships. For many, an advantage is the increased quality, quantity, and frequency of sex. Some people engage in swinging to add variety into their otherwise conventional sex lives or for curiosity. Some couples perceive swinging as a healthy outlet and means to strengthen their relationship. Others regard such activities as merely social and recreational interaction with others. Researchers estimate that 40-50 percent of all first marriages will end in divorce or permanent separation and about 60-65 percent of second marriages will end in divorce.  Although divorce has always been a part of society, divorce has become more common in the last 50 years. Yet swingers rarely get divorced. Swinging involves both partners in a committed relationship sexually engaging with others for entertainment purposes and building new friendships “with benefits.” Most couples in traditional conservative “patriarchal” relationships get into a “sexual rut,” and where’s the fun in that? A “sexual rut” is the worst rut of all because it robs you of intimacy. Swinging allows for a whole different life experience and a whole new wild world where your sexual fantasies can come true. You can escape the monotony and boredom and learn from others, hang around with fun-loving people, and of course, expand the sexual scenarios you’re willing to experience with your partner. What you must understand is that an open relationship cannot exist without openly communicating with each other. Keeping secrets and deceiving your partner about your sexual desires, needs, and activities will eventually become toxic and create feelings of neglect, insecurity, rejection, jealousy, and betrayal—all of which are sure to destroy your marriage or relationship. But this does not have to be the case. Many couples have reported the opposite. They spend more time together, they are more relaxed, happier, and sexually fulfilled. In the swinging world, couples make their own rules around what they need within relationships and marriages and agree to abide by the boundaries they set. Couples who select this type of lifestyle seek one or many partners for the pure excitement of getting what they don’t receive sexually from their primary relationship. But the primary relationship is maintained as most important, and each couple decides what is allowed and not allowed. Swingers will often have lasting friendships with others of the opposite sex while enjoying sexual pleasures from them as well. Things never get stale, and it usually spices up the bedroom. Some couples enjoy watching other couples. They learn new tricks and techniques, and they are free to explore. After years of being together, without a lot of effort, it is almost impossible to experience the excitement and jitters you felt when you were first dating. Many dead marriages come alive when both people are free to explore their ultimate fantasies without lying, sneaking around, or cheating, and you are doing it together, which only serves to strengthen your relationship. Women can approach swinging differently from men. Some want to experiment with women, while others need more arousal than they feel is possible with their men. Many are bi-curious, and rather than keeping these feelings bottled up inside, getting depressed, and numbing their feelings with wine every night, they are free to explore their sexuality and fantasies. Men also get the excitement and adventure they crave. Swinging also happens with same-sex couples and is very popular with gay men. Most swingers feel that it brings more joy and fulfillment into their lives and enriches their marriages. However, they admit that swinging will not fill a void in their marriage, and this is where negative experiences can occur. Swinging will not fix a broken relationship, and if this is where you and your partner are at, you must seek the advice of a therapist. This article presents a great opportunity for both you and your Queen to become even more intimate and simply explore the lifestyle. There is a reason that swinging has now been termed “the lifestyle.” Couples are engaging in a lifestyle they both view as beneficial like any other. When we pursue a healthy lifestyle of exercise and wellness, we have certain rules we follow together with our partners. The same is true of the swinging lifestyle, and success seems to occur when it is done together and there is mutual consent.  To be effective, you must both make an agreement and set boundaries on how you will proceed. Allow yourselves time to slowly explore the world of swinging at your own pace. Swinging is only successful if you are already in a stable relationship, and all you want to do is add some fun, exciting times. I hope for this article and my advice to be taken as some fun ideas you can use to change things up and add some spice. This, in no way, can be used in the place of proper therapy or counseling. If you feel that your relationship or marriage is headed for destruction, then the wise choice is to contact a therapist for help to uncover and deal with the issues. Swinging is an alternative for those who have made the decision together with their partner to add this to their lives. The goal of relationships and marriages should be to enhance your life experience and your personal journey. It should not feel like a trap or prison with virtually no opportunity for evolution. It is my desire that you use swinging as an opportunity to have a positive experience while engaging in safe, fulfilling, and consensual exploration with your Queen. So, stop talking about swinging, and let’s embark on a journey of excitement and adventure. ************************************************************* I hope and trust that you enjoyed this article, as much as I enjoyed writing it. If so leave a "like" or if you are feeling brave then leave a comment below