Written by Ricky Dicky Doo

14 Jul 2017

Dude... so... You remember that time you looked out the window at the apartment across the road? You member... it was dark outside, the light was on, and her blinds were open? She wasn't naked or anything, but she was just in a skirt and a bra as she was getting changed - obviously forgot to close up in the rush to get ready to go out... or... maybe she knew you were watching? Eh, probably the rush thing, let's be realistic here.

Or that time Steve whatsapped you that vid. The one with that american slutty college girl, getting it on with two burly frat dudes? You definitely remember that one!

Remember the time your girl was in the room, busy packing away clothes, or tidying up, or some shit like that. Perfect! Some alone time. And you watched the girl in the window, or the blonde in the video, your hand in your pants, tugging on your flaccid meat, sporting a semi... The volume down low, so you could listen for her footsteps.

... and then she walked in, you locked the phone screen or quickly darted from the window, struggling to get your hand out past your belt quick enough. "What are you doing??" she asked suspiciously. "Nothing," you replied, your voice cracking like a 13 year old curly haired, pimply, fat kid.

By the time you had the chance again, the window was dark, or you just didn't have enough time to continue to watch that vid. After all... it was cuddle and movie time, or you had to help with the dishes, or some seriously f'ed up, time wasting BS like that - the kind that could wait till tomorrow or something.

It's time to get enlightened (no, that's not code for lighting one up). Did you know (I'm the chappies packet of love, my friend) - if you were open and honest with your girl, your possibilities and experiences are endless. What's better? The shame-wank, with the volume down low, one ear open for footsteps approaching? Or, your girl by your side, your cock in her hand, grabbing her by the pussy (the only time I will ever quote Trump), and both of you enjoying the slutty adventures of loosey-lucy or the wank-window together? I vote that latter.

While you're having a hand-solo, I'm having a dirty chat with the dudes and dudettes of SH with my girl by my side - and the force is strong with this one! Open up, tell her what your expectations are; listen to hers. Share, experience, go on an adventure. The world is your oyster. Stop being so shady bro!

Let's get Rickety Rickety Wrecked son!