Written by Mr. DanaBay
20 Apr 2018
The Turtle-Snort and my Neighbor
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21 minute read
Moved down to the coast a couple months ago and as with all new homes it took us a while to sort everything out the way we liked it to be.
New curtains were hanging, paintings and ornaments sorted, and today was the day to give some attention to the garden. Had a local garden service maintain the garden as we inherited it from the previous owners and today I want to start putting my own stamp on it.
The way our house is placed on the stand is such that the area to the back of the garage is the place I will visit the least. Just no reason at all to go there so I thought it best to start spraying here first. Mixed and filled the sprayer with weed killer and start making my way around the back.
As I work the sprayer’s pumping mechanism, it generates a snorting sound that reminded me of one time we took the kids to the Zoo and had to endure two turtles mating. Since that day I was always conscious of any sounds I would make when me and the misses were rolling in the sack.
Now I don’t know if the neighbor living right behind us visited the same zoo, and seen the same turtles going at each other, but the moment I stood up from pumping the sprayer mechanism, my eye caught a movement just above the boundary wall, see my neighbor getting up from whatever she was doing to investigate this unholy snorting sound and for the first-time laid eyes on one of the occupants of the house behind ours. Eyes as big as saucers and a blush on her cheeks as if she was expecting to see a wrinkled turtle dick invading an even more wrinkled turtle vagina.
“Hi”, I heard from the other side of the fence as I was still trying to file the turtle images to the furthest corners of my memory.
“Good morning to you too. Apologies if I startled you” I managed. “First time I am this side of the house and didn’t expect anyone to be around”.
“Startled is putting it mildly. I was ready to hurl a laundry basket towards that sound. Thought the neighborhood is being invaded. Apology accepted though” she smiled. “I am Victoria, and welcome to our neighborhood”
Now whenever I envisage a person with the name Victoria, it is inevitable that lingerie and voluptuous models come to mind. All men at some time have a secret love fair with a Victoria Secret model, but what I see on the other side of the boundary is someone you would see erecting a catwalk, not walking it. Grassy looking hair, unkept, surrounding a face that either just woke up or was really banished to the further parts of her own garden, and to round it off, all of this was sitting on a hideous orange sweater, on top of a stripy pair of sweatpants three sizes larger than what she is hiding inside it, with the legs just about covering a pair of crocs. Crocs? Really, who wears Crocs?
“Clark”, I replied, not sure if I should stick out my hand in a greeting for the fear of contracting “Crocs Loving Syndrome”, but the gentleman in me took over and did the right thing. A surprisingly soft hand reached out into mine and I could not help to notice well-manicured nails. A turtle with acrylic nails comes to mind. “And thank you, lovely to be part of this little community. Always been our plan to come and settle at the coast. Girls love it out here. Hope it lives up to all our expectations”
“Girls? Will that be your daughters then?” Victoria inquired.
“My lovely wife and our two daughters. They are inside going through a list of stationary needed for when the schools reopen next week, giving me time to see what I can do about this garden. By the way, that sound you heard was from this sprayer”, lifting it up for her to see, and to be clear that I do not breed turtles, “and you will hear it for the best part of the morning as I try and take control of all these weeds growing through the paving bricks”
“Don’t worry, it will not bother me. Normally I do not come around to this side of the house. My maid dit not show up today so I was promoted to doing the laundry at this godforsaken time when I am usually getting my beauty sleep in”, she volunteered, making me think she would probably need to sleep until next week to do some catching up on becoming a beauty. “Seems it will be a beautiful day for the laundry to be dry by early afternoon. Hope there will be no new noises when I come take it of the line later”, she joked.
“I will try and behave” I managed in my best sulking voice. “Spraying should be finished by then. My apologies again for startling you Victoria”.
And just like that she vanished into her oversized attire. Will probably not see here around the back often, as she indicated. Not that one would want to see her more than seeing the occasional turtles necking.
Spraying the weeds are not laborious but surely time consuming as each little bugger must be sprayed for it to be effective and it took me just under two hours to complete the job, bringing me full-circle to where I started earlier. Job done, I emptied the last bit of weed killer from the sprayer and was about to return to the garage when I noticed movement on the other side of the boundary wall.
It was one of those classic “double takes” one sees in the movies. I expected to see Victoria in her Crocs, but instead my gaze fell on an ass so tight it must have been on a teenager. There was something familiar about the teenager standing on the other side, taking the now dry laundry from the washing line, but I could not put my finger on it. Does Victoria have a daughter? She certainly looked old enough to have a daughter this age, or maybe even a younger sister. Then I make the connection. The hands. It is all in the manicured hands I’ve seen on Victoria.
No way this is the same person. Maybe a twin sister was my thought. Unless I was overcome by some noxious fumes from the weed killer that put me to sleep for a week, while Victoria did her best in getting her beauty sleep in. Nope, makes no sense. She must be a twin sister then.
“You finished in the garden Clark?” the tight-ass-one asks.
Goodness, they even have the same voice.
And how does she know my name?
“Cat got your tongue?” she follows up, now walking, oh no, strutting in my direction. Strutting like a Victoria Secret Goddess.
“Uhm….” is all I could get out. If I was not concentrating so hard, I would have made the turtle-snort, ruining all possible communication with this eye fest, now floating in my direction. “No, I am fine. Just startled a bit. Did not expect to see someone outside again” I managed proudly.
The grassy unkept looking hair, has morphed into a perfect French plat, the sleep deprived face is now smooth and make upped with just a hint of pink lip-gloss on puckered lips. The catwalk construction outfit is replaced with a white loose blouse, kept in place with spaghetti straps, and a flowing pink skirt reaching midway between her knees and ankles. Thankfully the crocs are also gone and replaced with dainty sandals with bling inserts.
“Surely you did not expect me to show myself in the same way you have seen me this morning?” she asks, confirming that the two creatures were indeed the same person.
“To be honest, it is much more than what I expected. For I moment I thought you were either your daughter or twin sister. Better looking twin sister, I may ad” hoping it would not get me into trouble with her. Frank should have been my middle name. “I hope your maid is absent more often if this is the reward from my side of the boundary” pushing it a bit I thought.
“Hey, reward should work both ways you know. What will be in it for me?” came the reply, with just the feintest of a twitch in the left side of her mouth, indicating a subtle smile. If only she knew how hard I have to concentrate in not giving her full body a once-over with my eager eyes.
“What will be in it for you? Depends”, was my reply and passing the ball back to her to play.
“Depends on what exactly?”, as she passes the ball back to me.
“That is easy. Each action should have a reward. With ever more interesting or riskier action, the reward will be bigger and better” I managed, hoping that her next reply will give me the opportunity to legitimately give her the eye.
“Which action that I took today will warrant a reward”, came her answer, and the trap was set.
“The action you took was to get dressed in this lovely outfit”, I said, now letting my eyes travel from her face to her shoulders, lower to her breasts that I only now notice is not restrained by lingerie, further down to her narrow waist flowing into lovely small hips, which I presume is linked to shapely legs hidden beneath the skirt. I also notice that her toes are pedicured in the same style as her hands. On returning my gaze to look her in the eye, I pass and linger on her breasts again and notice the feint promise of erect nipples.
“And what will my reward be for dressing this way then?”
“I would reward it with a nice compliment, hoping it will lead to another action from your side”. She makes it so easy for me.
“Clark, you are a very naughty man”.
“Naughty? Me? Never. This is the calm, sedate, and behaved part of my persona, lady”.
“I never got the compliment though”.
“Do you want the sedate or naughty compliment”? is my reply in setting the tone of what is to come. If she wants the sedate compliment it will be a sign that things are going to fast and I will have to back off for a bit. Should she want the naughty compliment, I am convinced I will have a chance with her sooner than later.
“I dare you. Give me the naughty one”, came the replay and I could feel the feint stirring in my pants.
"Mmmm. Nice outfit combination. Pity you are not wearing sneakers with it” is my reply. Immediately there is a slight frown between her eyes. My plan is now in fully implemented.
“That is not a naughty compliment”, she shoots back. “and what do you mean I should be wearing sneakers”?
“If you were wearing sneakers, I would send up a small prayer that your laces would become loose” was my masterstroke.
“How in Gods name is that naughty mister? Loose laces? Am I missing something here”.
“If your laces were loose, and you bent down to tie them again, I might get a peek at what is hidden behind your blouse”, I said, playing my Ace of hearts.
Instantaneously I see reaction in two fully erect nipples pressing through her white blouse. Slightly to the bottom of the bulge made by her breasts, hinting that they could be large with some sag in them. Perfect. And I make sure she notices me looking at them.
“You are a naughty bugger. I walked straight into your trap”, she replied with a marked huskier voice. She looked down to where my eyes were pointing to, realizing she has a massif nipple stand for me to admire and showing that she is not wearing a bra. “What would you do if I did not like your comment, turned around and walked off”.
“As a matter of fact, I would love if you tried. Remember you still haven’t tied your laces and you might just trip over them, giving me the opportunity to see if your panties match your bra”. I was now in full swinging mode, convinced I have the opportunity to snort like a mating turtle before the day is much older.
“You would love that, wouldn’t you”? comes the reply in an even huskier tone. Almost a whisper and very sensually she bends down, pretending to tie a shoelace, giving me a grandstand view down the front of her blouse, right down to her navel without breaking eye contact. Breasts larger than what I thought, with large dark aureola, ending in firm longish nipples. “Like what you see”?
Game, set, and match.
“The view is almost perfect. I can imagine seeing them up-close. Might even try my luck at touching them”, comes my reply, even huskier then hers. I am now on a mission to bury my head in that magnificent cleavage.
“Are you trying to take advantage of me Mister?”
“Absolutely Madam. And I comment you on recognizing it. Would love to jump over the wall and rip that blouse of your body.”
“God, you are placing me in a difficult situation. I so need a quick fuck but my husband is due home soon”, comes the affirmation that she is wiling to be drilled.
No time for playing hard-to-get as I don’t want to lose more time with the imminent return of her husband I jump over the wall, take her soft manicured hand in mine and lead her towards the kitchen door. Entering the kitchen, she reaches around and close the door, turning the key, locking it.
In a flash she turns around again and with a small step in my direction she is against me, throws her arms around my neck and plants a warm wet kiss squarely on my lips. Lips slightly parting our tongues explore each other’s. I press forward with my pelvis into her lower stomach leaving no doubt of my intentions.
She withdraws from kissing me and warns, “my husband will be back real soon. Please be quick and take me hard and fast. I am so wet for you”. Reversing roles, she now takes me by the hand and lead me through the kitchen, down a passage and into a bedroom that seems to be a spare bedroom with only the bare essentials, turns around and kiss me again, this time with real conviction and no holding back.
I drop my hands down her sides, remove her blouse from the skirt lifting it over her head, temporarily breaking our kiss. Bringing my hands from below I cup her breasts, for the first time getting a real appreciation of their size and texture. Her nipples are hard and centered on swollen aureola. Breaking the kiss again, I go down on my knees, get my face level with her nipples and eagerly take the left one in my mouth. Sucking it ever so slightly into my mouth, I run my tongue over its sensitive top. Putting her hand on the back of my head she pulls me into her chest forcing me to take everything I can into my mouth.
Swapping places with her right breast, I run my hands around her back to find the zipper keeping her skirt from falling of her waist and slide the zip down. With I slight pull I guide it over her hips, past her knees until it pools around her ankles and help her step out of it. In a flash my hands are back where only moments ago her skirt was covering her ass, now bare, confirming her panties indeed matches her bra.
“Take me quickly please”, is the whisper above my head and she take a small step backwards with the back of her knees now against the edge of the bed. Only a light push forces her off balance and she sits down, with an audible pop as the right nipple is pulled from my sucking lips. With our heads level again I kiss her gently, running the tip of my tongue over inside of her lips, tasting the sweet lip-gloss she applied earlier.
With my hands on her shoulders, I push her backwards, breaking our kiss as she falls back onto the bed, with her legs still hanging over the side, giving me full view of her pussy mound with her breasts forming the background, now slightly sagging to the sides. Nipples still pointy with goose bumps forming the length of her body, starting at her breast all the way down her tummy to her thighs.
With my eyes now fixed on the fat lips of her pussy, I note the small protrusion where her clitoris tries to break free from its warm and moist enclosure. Taking hold of an ankle in each hand, I lift them up from the floor, bending her knees and place her feet on the edge of the bed either side of her hips, in the process revealing everything she has to offer. Her clitoris now more exposed and visibly aroused with a glistering of lubrication forming around her pussy opening.
Looking over her pussy, tummy, and breasts, towards her face, I see her sucking on her bottom lip anticipating my next move.
Bending down I place the lightest of kisses right where her pussy lips meet each other above her clitoris, deliberately avoiding making contact with the bundle of nerves forming her clit. I tease her with kisses down the insides of each thigh, back towards her pussy deliberately never touching her clit. Fully lubricated now, measured by the amount of wetness around her hole, I insert my tongue into her cunt and slowly run it up her warm wet slit to just below her clit, linger for a moment, and then flick my tongue right over the most sensitive part of her being.
Touching her clit with my tongue makes her involuntarily jerk her hips inward with a moan escaping out her mouth. “Please, I beg you. Fuck me. I need to cum with you inside me”.
While placing the lightest possible kisses on her clit, avoiding overstimulate this sensitive sexiness of hers, I reach down between my legs, loosen the cord of my shorts and remove the last barrier preventing the inevitable, in the process, freeing my raging hard-on.
I break the kiss with her pussy and move upwards positioning me over her. She wraps her arms around my neck, and with a heave I lift her up from the mattress pulling her further up the bed until her whole body is now on the bed, legs still spread open.
Since going down on my knees and sucking her nipples, I now for the first time look into her eyes and notice a definite longing for release.
Still looking at each other I lower my hips towards her softest of places, and gently poke my dick against her pussy entrance. Impatient for me to enter her, she forces her hips upwards and I am in time to pull back, allowing only the head of my penis to enter her moist inner folds. She settles back onto the bed and I follow without completely withdrawing from her wet cunt.
I pull out from her pussy without breaking contact and slide the head of my engorged dick up her slit until it comes in contact with her clit. Again, the involuntarily reaction from her hips, and I allow myself a couple firm pumps in her folds and over her clit with definite indications she is busy losing control over her sexual release. I have not even penetrated her yet and can sense she is not far from reaching her orgasm.
Breaking contact with her clit, I slide my now rock hard and swollen dickhead down her slit, hesitate for only a moment outside her pussy opening and with one swift thrust sink all the way into her. Her head thrown backwards, she gives one almighty sigh and I accept it as instructions I should not dare stop the pounding. I oblige and fuck her with long hard strokes, each one starting with only my dickhead inside her opening and then pushed down deep into her pussy, filling all the space inside her willing and wet cunt.
And then it happened. The turtle-snort. With less than a minute’s hard and deep fucking, her back arches, head thrown backwards and both hands grabbing fists full of the bedding, she climaxes around my dick with such intensity I could swear it felt as if her pussy was sucking my dick even deeper into her cunt, releasing the sound I feared I would make.
A couple stroke later I feel as she starts relaxing underneath me. “What just happened”, she asks. “I have never ever cum so fast in my life. You really know how to warm a lady up. Fuck that was intense”.
“Are you done?” comes my reply, with a look of bewilderment on my face. What about me was my thought. What about me!
“When I have my orgasm, I am out for the count my dear. If you want to continue, you will have to fuck me doggy style. I just don’t have the energy for anything else”.
I pull my still warm and hard dick out of her very satisfied pussy, climb out from between her legs and allow her to position into doggy style. With her ass in the air, legs spread wide and head resting on her arms, her wanting wet cunt presents itself to me.
Not wasting any time, I climb back between her spread legs, take my prick in my hand and guide it into her well fucked puffy cunt hole. Only a handful of slow deep thrust was all I could handle before going straight for a podium place. I give her deep hard fast pumps and each time I hit bottom in her pussy, she moves a little bit forward on the bed. I almost match her eagerness for release and without completing one revolution of a watch’s seconds hand, I feel the familiar tightening feeling around my scrotum, realizing my orgasm is fast approaching.
Out the corner of my eye I pick up movement outside the window and on turning my head I notice a DHL marked car driving up their driveway.
In the throws of a pending orgasm and without losing any momentum I ask “are you expecting a delivery?”
“No. Why. Do. You. Ask?”, is her answer, matching a word for each of my now faster thrusts, as I realize coming inside her is only a couple pumps away.
“Because. DHL. Just. Stopped. Outside”, I managed in 5 more thrusts, and started contracting in anticipation of shooting my load into her, soaking her pussy.
Like a leopard sprinting for a meal, she is out from in front of me, sliding her pussy off my dick which is in its firs orgasmic contraction, and before she could be clear of my pulsating cock I shoot a stream of cum that arcs through the air landing on her but cheek while the next couple contractions deliver four different streams of cum landing randomly on the bedspread.
“Oh fuck. It is my husband. He is home early. Get out. Get out”, she whispers in a panic while gathering her clothes from the floor. In a flush she is dressed, pick and hand me my clothes while pulling me towards the kitchen door.
She unlocks te door, opens it, pushes me outside before closing it again faster that I can count to one, leaving me stark naked on the back porch with my clothes in my hands.
I get dressed faster than what she can open and close a kitchen door, sprint to the back-boundary wall and jump over it like a pro athlete. On landing I compose myself, pick up the sprayer and nonchalantly walk around the corner of the garage to bump into my wife as she comes around from the other side.
It was then my turn to give the now famous turtle-snort.
“Oops. Sorry angel”, my wife apologies for bumping into me. “Are you OK?”
“Uhm …, yes I am OK. You looking for me? I just completed spraying and was on my way to put this away in the garage”.
“Are you expecting a deliver?” she asks and I almost turtle-snort again.
“Not that I can remember. Why?”
“DHL just delivered a parcel addressed to you, and can you believe, the guy that delivered it is our neighbor around the back. He is area manager at DHL and on noticing the delivery on his manifest, decided to deliver it personally to us on his way home. So nice of him don’t you think” she blurts out.
“Small world we are living in angel” was the only reply I could think off.
“He said he will bring his wife over later today to officially welcome us to the neighborhood. Do you think I should put out snacks?”
“Snacks? Yes. Good idea”, and with that I started planning on a follow-up encounter with my new favorite neighbor.