So for 1st time in almost 2yrs I decide it's time...time to forget, time to numb, time to....let go..time to be with someone else other than the 1 person I was with (except when met couples etc)...time to let others fuck the memories from my mind. And besides, I need to orgasm as well. I played with D about 4yrs ago a few times. So he's familiar, the same age and he's very attractive. I give in and say "sure let's do this weekend". He was to bring a female friend with but she apparently had issues with a baby sitter for a Sat morning. I shower and shave everything smooth, makeup, dry my hair..all while feeling guilt. I shrug it off "Stop it, you need this. M wasn't thinking of you then when he did what he did, he's not thinking of you now". I sit naked on the bed feeling my eyes burn with emotion...swallow and on comes the red tight lingerie I hide under my jeans and top. My nipples showing through the material. I feel slightly excited now to...well..be fucked again. We have a drink and chat a bit, crack some jokes since the last time we saw each other. He takes my glass from my hand and sits over me on the couch. Kissing my words to silence, his hands holding my neck so my mouth is held under his deep kisses. He takes off my top and I giggle at his reaction to the see through lingerie. I slip off my jeans exposing my naked ass and he says "oh fuck I need to take pictures" We go to the bedroom where we kiss and run my hands across his skin. He swoops me on my back and exposes my nipples, sucking on them. Going down to my pussy, licking and sucking on my clit, pushing his tongue as deep as he can while I rub his cock. "Mmm you still taste so good" We do 69 with moans and gyrating. He fingers my gspot and licks until he says "no fuck please turn around" He plunges his cock into my pussy from behind while reaching for my clit. I love to be fucked hard and the feeling of my clit being stimulated. He pulls out & licks my pussy and ass from behind. I ride his cock for a while and he shifts down so I can ride his tongue, loving how my clit rubs over his mouth. He turns me on my back again plunging his cock inside me while making sure my clit is rubbed. "I'm going to cum" I say and he drops on top of me. I grab his back and shout in his ear, hold on to him tight while shaking into orgasm and moving under him to feel him even deeper and longer. I open my eyes and my pupils dialate under heavy breath as I almost expected a different face to kiss me gently, hold me. Reality sets back and it's still a very attractive face above me though. I came so good and loud. My pussy so sensitive. We take a 5min break and I suck him again hard and fast. He liftsmy legs wide open and fucks me hard until he cums for a 2nd time. We lay next to each other chatting and joking. I think "Mmm I would've been pulled close, kissed on the forehead, and fell asleep on M's chest" I'm emotional, but happy to have had some good sex again and lots more to come. Again i shake the memory away and crack a joke. He leaves shortly after. I sit on the bed...my tomach sticky with his cum. I smile "that was good, I feel lighter, relieved"....i dress and think...I wonder who M's waking up to THIS morning THIS time, pulling them close, kissing them on the forehead, making them believe". I wash off & get ready for the rest of my weekend with a hop in my step as only orgasms can bring but my heart heavy as only memories can stir