Written by AngeliqueB

22 Mar 2014

For men (and women,) sex ranges on a scale from 1 to 10.

So you are having sex with a very attractive woman and are really into it you have not got some tight-ass condom on, she is moaning in just the right way, and so on sex level 9. Then, imagine you having sex with some girl, who you are not really attracted to and so not really into it (and neither is she) sex level 0.

But blowjobs, BJs start at a 6, and can go right up to 10 (even 20!) as lets be serious it is hard for a blowjob to be so bad as to get lower than that. Granted, there are some pretty bad things that can happen her teeth can scrape your penis, or she thinks it would be a good idea to put toothpaste down there for the taste and it burns like hell. But still, a BJ is always a great thing for any guy.. Yes?

So I have been thinking about BJs in particular, and have come to the conclusion that there are two reasons for this oral sex being more enjoyable than normal sex:

1) The sensations of oral sex are usually more intense than during regular sex, and

2) because excitement during sex has a lot to do with the underlying currents of sexual energy, these are generally higher during oral.

So let me explain this in further detail now.

During intercourse, there are lots of factors that can affect how thrilling the experience is, especially for a guy, and most of these factors come about as a result of what the woman is bringing to the experience audibly, visually, and so on. During a BJ, on the other hand, without really putting too much thought to it, the girl is already contributing many of the factors, especially visually (that head in your groin for instance) that can make a sexual experience great, and she does not even have to know what these are. But IF she does, she can literally blow your mind.

One of the things that can make a girl really attractive and sex with her exciting, is an essence of sexuality that she has about her her femininity. But, believe me, it works both ways. This femininity (or masculinity) creates sexual polarity and sexual tension. A girl dancing in front of a guy is highly attractive and a great turn on before sex and so is the simple act of a girl sensually biting her lower lip or playing with her hair. A girl playing off this sensuality creates a greater polarity that is more sexually attractive. This polarity can make sex an amazing and intimate experience and is the reason why, having intercourse with a girl who is rigid and controlling, regardless of how physically appealing she may be, is not going to be the kind of exhilarating experience that most guys want. Right?

Great sex is an explosion of energy that has been aggravated and amplified by the increasing tension between these sexual poles. So, what makes a BJ more exciting? Well, because people are so unaware of this underlying effect that this sexual polarity and tension can create, EXCEPT when giving really good oral sex.

Think about it! Everything feels enlarged in ones mouth. A small sore or a tiny grain of sand can seem huge. The lips and tongue are exquisitely sensitive to giving and receiving pleasure, tasting both the delicious and the bitter. Next time you use your mouth sexually, be grateful that you can. Allow the experience of oral sex to overwhelm you so that you are unaware of anything else. Explore the landscape of oral sensations, the tastes and textures as you lick and nibble and suck. Get lost in oral sex, as only a human being can and does.

Therefore, what is the most artful way to give joy with ones mouth? How can you offer your soft tongue and skilled lips as a gift for the sake of bringing pleasure to another?

Oral sex is unique, because our mouths are so sensitive. Proportionately, more of our brains capacity is dedicated to our tongue and lips than to any other body part. Obviously, a drop of salty water causes a different reaction if dripped on our back than on our tongue. So much more so, for a genitals texture and flavor between our lips. Our mouth knows the most of what it touches, so we need to learn to offer our most sensitive human part as a gift; tendering love-swelled blessings to somebody very special.

Becoming better at sex is about developing ones feelings of sensuality and becoming a more sexual person. When we eat food, do we guzzle it all down, or do we savor each bite as we let the tastes overwhelm us? When we kiss our partner, do we relish the sensation of his or her lips on ours, taste their tongue and feel the intimacy between you?

Sex is a play between two essences: masculine and feminine, after a build-up in tension between these two poles. Sex is actually a natural way to blow off steam when you have had an encounter that creates a lot of tension. Each partner continuously displays his or her masculine or feminine nature, helping to build up the tension. For instance, like with flirting. The more prolonged tension there is, the more excitement there is going to be during sex. So it is important to continue increasing this tension to find your sexuality and sensuality and to develop it over time.

In our society, we are trained to think that looks matter so much when it comes to sexual attraction and so, we are surprised to find ourselves being very attracted to a person who is not very physically good-looking by society's standards but they have learned to convey a feminine or masculine essence in such a way, that it appeals to us. Of course, there is a time and place to express whichever sexual essence you choose, but like anything, it becomes harder and harder the less practice you give to it. So practice your flirting and your oral sex will improve!

During sex, especially oral sex, although one should always know what our boundaries are, begin to go more with the flow and give more of yourself with a loving, open heart. If your partner does not usually guide your intimate encounters, you might want to start by asking them to verbally express what they want out of the experience. Ask them to tell you what they want you to do and you will be surprised by how much your experience will improve.

So, finally, what makes for a great BJ

I am sure that most men have had a handful of extraordinary blowjobs in their lifetime but it comes down to:

Enthusiasm - She has to enjoy what she is doing.

Vigour - She has got to do it like she wants to finish the job.

Lubrication - She cannot be afraid of a little saliva.

The thing that really separates the ho-hum BJ from the eyes-rolling-into-the-back-of-the-head one is undoubtedly passion and enthusiasm. Of course, there are many technical aspects that come into play, but even the most experienced, tongue-twisting mouth would be boring if there was no desire behind it. So, for an excellent BJ, she needs to get into it. There is nothing sexier for a man than when, the woman blowing him is performing enthusiastically and getting turned on while doing so.

Understandably, BJs are not everyone's cup of tea. So it is time to play-act a little and to find out what turns him on; his likes and then go for it full tilt booty. Hopefully she will get something equally excellent in return. Oh, and just in case somehow someone missed the memo, the cardinal rule of BJs is. NO TEETH.

Lots of practice helps but the problem is, women do not know how it feels to have a dick sucked, and how it should or should not be done are you guys about to tell them how? Or are you just far too grateful to be on the receiving end to interrupt with helpful hints. You just lay back, relax, and hope it does not grate too much. Maybe it is time to use your mouth while she is busy with hers!!!

So, going down on, giving head, sucking off, mouth f***, there are plenty of ways to describe the act of oral sex, but they are all talking about the same thing