This happened sometime in the middle of last year. Please note: we did take precautions against Covid - as we all always should. Hello. My name is not James Baxter. I’m currently in my mid twenties and I've been bicurious for years. However, I know I’m not gay. I’m in a committed relationship with the most beautiful and lovey girl I’ve ever met. I love her so very much, but unfortunately she is not open to bicuriosity or too much sexual adventure at all; and therefore I’d like to start this story acknowledging that although my desires are real, I’m deeply sorry that this has to be behind her back. I truly truly wish she could share in these explorations with me, but I know it can’t be that way. I love you and I sincerely apologise. That being said, this is the story of the first time I explored sexually with a stranger and in fact the first time I ever even saw another man’s penis (outside of the gym). I had begun to look into various bi/gay groups on KIK specifically to feel for other South Africans who may be willing to help me explore my curiosities. I eventually found a group that was run by a very welcoming man who was clearly quite experienced in this field. He asked me many times if he could take me out to coffee to help me feel comfortable and answer any questions I may have. Ironically, this actually scared me a lot because I was paranoid about being seen in public and possibly recognised. So the relationship became a bit “teasy”. I’d message him in moments of extreme horniness and he’d ask me out again, only for me to say no. He knew about my internal conflict about my girlfriend and tried to urge me to explore before committing. A lovely sentiment but difficult to do now that I’m already committed. Nevertheless, he never retracted the offer. And one day, my curiosity was pushed over the edge. It was in the evening time (as most of these hormonal bursts are) and my dick was just throbbing. The kind of throb that almost takes your whole body. I messaged him and told how absolutely horny I was and I may have even sent an image as proof. “Well, when am I going to sort that out for you in person?” he asked. Something came over me. “Maybe tomorrow...?” “I can do that.” My heart was racing and obviously that didn’t help the ever-growing situation between my legs. We chatted a few details about time and confidentiality before he left me for the night. But not before giving one last rule: “Boy, you have to promise me you won’t touch that thing tonight. I don’t want any cum wasted before you get here.” What a fucking challenge that was. But I succeeded. The next day I woke up early and texted him. My fears were high but so was my erection. “Are we still on?” he asked, knowing I’d have reservations. “Yes. I can be at your place in 30 minutes but I have to shower.” “Don’t. I like the smell of a man.” So I got dressed and left. That entire drive to his house was terrifying. I don’t want to cheat on my girlfriend but I really have to know what this feels like. I was constantly swinging from self-loathing to wild horniness. I knew already (and had made it clear to him) that there would be no sex. This was exploration. But it was still super scary to a kid like me whose only ever had 1 sexual partner - my current one. I put on my mask (thanks Covid for helping keep me anonymous) and arrived outside his home. He opened the gate and my heart stopped. Am I really going to do this? Well I guess it’s too late now... “I didn’t think you’d actually come after all those months of playing hard to get” he smirked. “Neither did I.” My voice was probably very shaky. He welcomed me and was very friendly I have to admit. He was a fairly in-shape older white man, probably in his late 40s. Short hair and tanned. I was pleased to be offered some hand sanitizer as he walked me into his home. After a few obligatory greetings he led me to a small bedroom deeper in his house. “Take off your shoes and jacket, make yourself comfortable”. I was quiet and nervous, so I took my time removing the first layers. He then asked me to join in him on the bed. I took a moment to myself. Thought about the love of my life and promised myself that this was just an experiment. I took a deep inhale and exhale, shrugged my shoulders, dropped my pants to my ankles and removed my shirt. There is no going back now. So there I am. Standing in nothing but my briefs and socks in the bedroom of a man I had only just met. I lay down next to him and we just chatted about how I was feeling. I have to say, I really appreciated that. Eventually, he rolled onto his side and placed is hand gently on me. My heart rate shot up. The only thing separating his hand and my cock was the thin material of my briefs. I was so nervous that I wasn’t hard yet. “I’m not very big...” “Don’t you worry about that at all. A cock is a cock. And yours is great.” He proceeded to gently rub me, periodically sliding his hand up and over my chest and nipples before returning to my growing member. I took another deep breath and decided to just swiftly slide my briefs off and kick them to the pile of my other clothes. In my mind I told myself, “you did it, you made it here. Now enjoy it.” He rubbed me a bit more before getting up and removing all of his clothes too (he was only wearing a vest and boxers). This time when he returned, he got onto his elbows and took my me into his mouth. I wasn’t expecting that, but it was a welcome surprise. I started to get hard in his mouth and I have to admit, he does it pretty well. I closed my eyes and lay my head back and my breathing became deeper and louder as I had my cock licked and sucked for the first time by a man. He asked me how I was doing and I don’t think I really said anything but just kinda moaned in the positive. He then came up and lay next to me and I decided to be a bit more active in the situation. “You know... I’ve never touched another cock before...” “Well mine is right there. Go ahead.” This is where the story turns out to not be what I was hoping for. I had seen when he got undressed (and through pics he’d sent on KIK) that his penis isn’t one I find attractive. Mine isn’t big but it’s quite straight and fairly smooth. His was a bit crooked and, understandably, a bit old-looking. No disrespect to him whatsoever or anyone with that shape, but I just didn’t like his cock very much. He also wasn’t really hard just yet which made my first touch a little unexpected. Nevertheless, we continued. Touching each other, wanking each other, etc. He was very into nipple play so I also got him a lot harder that way. “Come sit on my chest so I can suck your cock again.” I happily jumped up on him and slid between his warm lips again. Slowly, I started to swing my hips back and forth, allowing his mouth to cover more and more of my shaft each time. I even managed to reach back and stroke him while he sucked me. “I think I’m getting close” I said to him in a very breathy and shaky voice. “You can cum on my chest” he smiled. I hopped off him and got right up close to him. To be honest, this entire time I hadn’t been fully fully hard - and I don’t think he had been either. I closed my eyes and put my head back and started to jerk my cock and thrust my pelvis. He was jerking himself too while watching me and was groaning and moaning which certainly helped But, ultimately, with my eyes closed I thought about my girlfriend. I thought about her body and I imagined all I had done that day was with her. I thought about her beautiful face and what it looks like when she cums. I felt that familiar feeling building up inside me again and I started moaning. Partially because moaning turns me on but also because I thought it would help him too. I looked down and watched as I shot my warm white cum onto this man’s chest and continued to milk every drop I could out. I wiped the leftover cum on his nipple and fell onto the bed. I lay there quietly as he finished up his orgasm too. We chatted a little bit more and he handed me a towel to clean myself. As we both got dressed he asked me how I felt about it all. “Well I don’t think I enjoyed it the way that I thought I would. Like, it’s almost as if I’ve had this experience to know that I’m not gay, you know?” “To be fair, I am a lot older than you. If you find someone your own age to do this with, it’ll be a whole different thing.” And I think he’s right. It would be so much more intense with a cock I like and a boy I relate to. I did feel really guilty afterwards about having done this while in a relationship, but I also believe that no experience is wasted. I love my girl just as much as before. We got dressed, had a little bit more conversation and then I left. He and I have spoken very briefly since then and it’s still very friendly and good. But I haven’t had any sexual experiences outside of my relationship since then. I do think that if I ever get the opportunity to do something like this again with someone I’m really attracted to, or even a couple that would have me, I should take it. Although, it would be a weight off my mind if I was single or far away from my girl. All in all, I’m grateful for it. Even though it wasn’t amazing.