It took me well into my late 30’s to feel confident in my body and the skin that I’m in. I’ve never been exactly slim and slender except in my early teens and through adolescence years and have generally avoided mirrors most of my life.
Not consciously but more a poor self image brought on by extremely strict parents and therefore didn't wear makeup (apart from the odd occasion going out) so I only use a mirror for a hair drying even though I'm a hairstylist and for close up checking my teeth when brushing each day.
So when my current Sole-Mate kept prompting me to pose and take nude pictures and videos I knew I would have to talk about it.
So recently he’s been making me watch myself in the mirror whilst undressed. Previously if we were in front of a mirror I would always fix my eyes on his face. Eye contact is important between us and we often stare at each other and in our bedroom he encouraged me when we making love and as I'm reaching orgasm to open my eyes and look at myself and find that connection that's so very important... which is Me.... Him... Me... Us!!, But lately he’s pushed some of my limits by making me look at myself and my own face.
We have a full length mirror in our bedroom and he enjoys watching the reflection as I suck his cock, but he especially likes bending me forward or taking me from behind directly in front of the mirror. He can see my breasts swinging, my face flushing red and my mouth opened wide in its classic O shape biting my lip in pre-orgasm.
“Don’t look at me look at your reflection, look how hot you are. Look how much you enjoy being fucked like this. Look at how wonderfully turned on you are, look at how much you enjoy my cock in your pussy”
If I try to close my eyes or look away, he completely pulls his cock out in full stride and grabbing my hips roughly he threatens to rip me a new anal passage and the thought of the pain and fear of humiliation forces me to stare at the mirror begging him with my eyes not to. He has successfully reinforced me to look at myself. Deep down I still don’t want to see myself, but not only does it tick my humiliation box, but if I can get past the fact I’m looking at myself he’s completely right. I look sexy, I look desperate and slutty and enjoying it. My opened mouth wide eyed gaze would be easy to enjoy in any porn I was watching if I didn’t know it was me. I still struggle, but when he gets it right and I can look at myself in the mirror I have the biggest and wildest orgasms watching him fuck me and how I’m reacting.
In general my body confidence has increased ten fold in the last three years mainly from his amateur photography and video clips. The lens and camera is just another mirror – yet I look at myself in a completely different way than seeing my reflection. I’ve taken a couple of images of myself in a mirror I’ve enjoyed especially. I’m trying to utilise this new mental image of myself sexually, and this includes watching close up images from my phone or in the mirror too. Even watching myself masturbating in a mirror is now an interesting activity which intrigues me. The cherry on top is a clip of my muscles spasming and pussy pulsating after I’ve orgasmed and squirt fluid gushing is enough to turn me on and make me want to do it again.
Seeing myself during sex and accepting and embracing my sexuality is just another reason my sex life is getting better.....
But ... for me...yes...
Camming... oooh I need to love myself more.