01 May 2019
How do we forget ...
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"If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy." -- Bob Marley [1945-1981]
We all remember that incredible person with whom we had those earth moving orgasms. That incredible person who knew where to touch, where to lick, where to kiss to send us into another being of consciousness. Sure we had wonderful moments spattered here and there over the years, yet there is always that one person who raised our respective bars for "Great Sex".
That one person who made us realise sex was more than just a physical act. That one person who made our inner core tremble knowing what was going to happen next. That one person who tapped a desire which became so overwhelming, time stood still, nothing else mattered. That one person who could leave us craving, begging, striving for more!
Yes! Sex with that one person could only be defined as GREAT! No place, no time, no where was it inappropriate to engage in that mutually satisfying divine joy.
So, why is it we cannot say, "No, not now?" Because physiologically speaking our bodies have connected, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually, as well.
"Don't you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not." Julie Gianni in *Vanilla Sky *.
Our hormones made a promise. Oxytocin as defined by Medical News Today [link can be provided on request.]
"Oxytocin is a hormone and a neurotransmitter that is involved in childbirth and breast-feeding. It is also associated with empathy, trust, sexual activity, and relationship-building."
Oxytocin is secreted when a woman is in labour. This hormone helps her deal with the pain she has to give birth. Oxytocin makes her attach, emotionally, to her baby, and it helps her deal with the physical pain.
Oxytocin is secreted during lactation so that the mother attaches, emotionally, to her newborn.
Oxytocin is secreted during orgasm so a woman [and men to a much lesser extent] attaches, emotionally, to her lover.
That one person, involved in the Great Sex, giving us that earth moving orgasm has now attached emotionally in our bodies/hearts, because of oxytocin. He wants a repeat situation so that he won't have the need to spill his seed on his own. He wants to be sure he gives you a great time. He wants our orgasms. He does not realise he is also setting us up for emotional attachment. There is no logic; there are no words which can override the power of oxytocin. He wants more sex. He gets more sex. She gets more attached.
Can we then say NSA, casual sex, FWB, or anonymous sex are possible? Can we then say there is no cost for sex? What are you willing to pay for 'Great Sex'? Are you willing to become emotionally attached to this incredible sex partner? Are you willing to deal with the broken heart when paths diverge and one partner moves on? Will you accept the high, the rush of hormones, and then, gracefully deal with the consequences when that incredible person moves on?
In the early 1960's, when birth control became available, women believed we could now openly express our sexual selves, with no consequences. Surprise! not so. Our hormones have made sure we attach to that incredible person.
Great Sex is truly a Divine Joy. Remember to protect yourself emotionally, and, do not squander your oxytocin, your heart already has been scarred, cracked, and broken. It does not require shattering as well.
“The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.” -- Bob Marley [1945-1981]
[x-posted on a fetish site]