Written by AngeliqueB
10 Apr 2014
Dance the Chocolate Cha-Cha?
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8 minute read
Are these three little words you would love to hear?
Do they imply a great deal of mutual trust, caring, and comfort?
Would they change your love life forever?
"Let's do Anal."
(aka Bite the Pillow; Bum Fun; 5th Base; Greek Sex; etc. etc.)
Experts estimate one in four straight couples have had Anal Sex, arguably making it the most popular of sexual taboos. Yet, while many people are at the very least curious enough to try it, few go about it the right way. The result? They have a negative experience, and never do it again.
In order to enjoy Anal Sex, the participants need to have some idea of what they are doing and to be able to communicate openly and honestly, with each other. Of course, talking frankly about a ding-dong in a yoo-hoo can be tough. Our asses carry with them, so much cultural baggage. Most of us are taught, at a young age, that our bums are dirty; that they should not be shared with others; that they are not a source of pleasure - all of which are not, true.
Anal sex can be incredibly hot, but it is often misunderstood, and NO, enjoying Anal Sex does not make someone gay - it merely means they like Anal Sex and, with all the nerve endings located in the anus, that is not such a surprise! Anal sex is simply another option for sexual gratification and is unrelated to your sexual identity. But, it can be intimidating and it is not for everyone. If you have no desire to try it, then dont. Just like with any other sexual activity, you should never be pressured or pressure somebody else, into doing something that either of you are not totally comfortable with.
While it is normal to be a little apprehensive at first, there are ways to ease any anxiety, because relaxation is key to having somethings as incredibly hot and sensual as Anal Sex. And, lets be brutally honest here there are both men and women who love it. However, it should always be mutually approached, so that the initial discomfort (note, I did not say pain, but discomfort) goes far, far away and transforms into something apparently, absolutely magnificent once the object - cock, butt plug or dildo - is firmly planted in the bottom.
One of the first things most are afraid of, is the cleanliness factor. What you may have seen in porn, spontaneous Anal Sex, is largely a fantasy. Actors and actresses actually prep for anal scenes. That prep may involve something as extreme as not eating the day before and definitely includes anal douching. Douching is safe and simple. You can either, buy a disposable enema kit or an anal douche. If using an enema kit, replace the fluid with warm tap water, insert and expel. You may want to do this a few times until the expelled fluid is clear. With that one concern off your mind, and I know some of you may have changed enough dirty nappies in your life to want to limit your contact with mood-killing poop - you may find you are both already much more relaxed and eager to get going.
Everyone needs lubricant for Anal Sex. While the vagina self-lubricates, the anus does not, making lube an absolute necessity. Never mind that you have seen some guy spitting on some porn stars butt before ramming it home, for one, she may be pre-lubed with a water-based product and the saliva is rehydrating it; for two, she is a sexual athlete and your partner (or you) are probably not; and, the application of prodigious amounts of lube no doubt happened before the filming began or ended up on the cutting room floor. We all love porn, but we would be happier if porn was prefaced with a warning Trained Professionals: Please do not attempt these feats at home.
Thick, gel like lubes produce a cushioning effect, which makes them ideal for anal play. While you might know people who use desensitizing lubricants for anal play, it is not recommended. Desensitizing the bottom will not help with relaxation and since these products numb the nerves, there will be no feeling of pain or discomfort. And, pain is important! It is your bodys natural warning system and lets you know when something is wrong - before things go too far awry. By numbing the bum, there is increased risk of irritation or even serious damage to those delicate anal tissues.
It helps to be really excited - HORNY - so, get ready with tons of foreplay. Whether you go down on each other; engage in some sensual massage or touching, it is all good - as long as it turns you both on. Also, try stimulating the area surrounding the anus before diving in with fingers, toys or penises. The anus is naturally nervous - you do not want to just dive right in or it will tighten up like a clam shell, with discomfort and frustration likely ensuing.
Butt plugs are a great way to prepare for Anal Sex. First, because it can either be inserted by yourself or have your partner insert it as foreplay. You can try various shapes and sizes and materialsm until you find the perfect fit. Second, you may well find that you (or she) likes to wear a butt plug during the day, just because it maintains an aroused state. It is a mind set and depends on how brave you are. When removing the plug, which can be done privately or as part of play, the bottom will be more accepting. No, it is not going to get all stretched out; the muscles will have relaxed a bit and will soon return to their usual state.
It is very important to Go Slowly. Use fingers or a small anal toy (as long as it has a flanged base - this will prevent a not-so-sexy trip to the ER to retrieve a lost toy....uhm an embarrassing extraction.) Let it take as long as it takes to get comfortable and feel confident. If today is not the day, fine! You can try again another day.
Experiment with different positions: in a seated position - lowering onto the cock and going at ones own personal pace; in a doggie position - back up onto the cock; spooning to get the right angle. Feeling in control is another great way to alleviate anxiety and relax. In most cases, it is easier to her (the receiver) to be the one driving the action.
While this may seem counter-intuitive, pushing and bearing down, relaxes the anal muscles. Try it: When pressing in or squeezing, the muscles tighten - when bearing down, muscles ease (yes, just like making a No 2; pushing relaxes the valve to allow excretion.) If almost but not quite there, before giving up, encourage pushing against the object entering the bottom. Pushing is another reason that doing a light anal douche can help with relaxing, and there will be the reassurance that nothing unexpected will be making an appearance.
Gloves can also prevent discomfort and scratching from ragged fingernails and provide a silky smooth erotic surface that works great with lube. Remember: NO oil-based lubes with latex gloves, as oil will degrade the glove. Plus, gloves make for a simple clean up - just takeem off and tossem. Women should be especially careful of using oil based lubes for Anal Sex; they tend to be thin and can drip into the vagina, sending anal bacteria where it does not belong.
Leading right to just say............ NO, to Ass-to-Vaginal Sex. Never, ever, ever go from Anal Sex to Vaginal, without using condoms and changing them in between orifices. Even with this precaution, washing the object that just came out of the butt, after removing the condom, is very much advisable, before inserting said object into a vagina.
So, if the thought of having something in your butt or putting it in her pretty derriere, turns you both on, go forth - get the lube, douche and butt plug(s) ready; get excited; play with positions and take your time. Anal Sex can be extremely pleasurable for many men and women it is a definite dont knock it till youve tried it activity.
From the Biology Teacher:
To better understand Anal Sex, you need to understand the anatomy of your anus and rectum. With a mirror, and a good light source, take a look at your anus. As you spread your buttocks, you will notice the opening to your anus. Though it appears small and tight, it is capable of stretching enough to accommodate a finger, toy or any size penis. You will notice that the skin surrounding your anus is dark and wrinkled, and contains hair, sweat and oil-secreting glands. The tube-like anus contains numerous nerves and is exquisitely sensitive to touch and stretching. At the top of the anus is the rectum. The five-inch rectum is not straight, but makes several turns. And because the tissue of the rectum is delicate, sharp objects or unusual force can easily damage it. Though not as sensitive as the anus, some women enjoy the feeling of rectal "fullness" that is created during anal sex play.
[Nothing like a rampant tummy bug to inspire the said topic for today. No shit!!!]