Just another dissapointed rant

So...we might be kicking open a hornets' nest with this post...but hey, the forum is here for ranting...right?

Background...we've always been ok with meeting single guys. But after the past 3 experiences we had, we just might scratch that off our list...sadly so. We know there are some cool guys out there, we had the pleasure in meeting a few of you.

But...it's just becoming a hassle in meeting you. The guys with the constant winks...no pics, with someone and no "about" section...is just getting too much. And yeah, our profile is very clear on the subject...but hey, who reads profiles anymore? Some guys can't be bothered in even adding a location.

Our last meet with a guy...after we had a really cool drinks meet 2 weeks beforehand...ended up in him asking if he could meet the missus alone.

Our last 2 adds on the site didn't end up any better...one was for the elusive silver fox...where we ended up with a stack of replies with the trusty dick pic and not much else.  So...we decided to approach a guy in our home town, who took offense that we approached him. Really. This was after a very well worded...we hope...mail, introducing ourselves, and explaining what we are looking for.

Add 2 was a official invite for guys to join as at one of our regular parties we attend, and sometimes co-host.  We received almost no responses...we validated 2 guys, 1 wanted to attend...but unfortunately couldn't.

We get that couples pull the same stunts...BUT...we are aware of the stigma that sticks to single guys on sites like this. We were actually willing to ignore that...but it seems we might have been mistaken.  It's sad that some guys are almost willfully ruining the chances for other guys...

hi

yes that is the case. most guys on here are just looking for a quick shag, and if you offer it to them, they become all jittery and back down. we are still waiting for a guy who said he is on his way. sad truth is, this site caters for all people whose got an email address, no real way to tell you that a profile is real. only the member verification option and the vouching option, but that doesn't mean if you have a vouch, that you are the real deal.

couples do this as well. they contact you, they set up the meet, and then you never hear from them again after they didn't pitch.

hi .  whats app REMOVED BY ADMIN. in rtb

Sad but true Lizaan...

That is why we are in love with the Vouch system. We know people can still cheat their way through it, but if someone is vouched by someone you have played with in the past. It makes their presence believable. Don't lose faith. We had the same problem with singles. Some seem to forget that the Mrs is in a relationship, so once hubby tries to make conversation with them it, it generally ends up in silence or the ignoring hubby and continuing to pursue whats in their best interest (obviously nookie). So what we did is make contact with a site regular and wham bham thank you sir. It worked out perfect. Way better than any single female we have tried to make contact with. I am pretty sure the regular to the site will know who they are once seeing this. We would play again with him anytime because he is a gentlemen after all.

Agreed Ashlee...we did make contact with some seemingly genuine guys this past week. Fingers crossed it works out, lol.

Sorry guys. I hear you, and that's exactly what I try to avoid being. And PtaMootCpl - your profile is superb but the "Married Men please sod off and die line"  kinda put me off. I am of a slightly different take - for me a long term friendship I think IS possible if planned and agreed to in accordance with everyone's understandings. It may not be as regular as every week or whatever, but I think it may even improve things that way. Of course being married has its drawbacks - one would be silly to expect otherwise but with the right people there should be no reason why not. That said, having been stood up, abused, given the run around and generally a bunch of crap myself I can only imagine what it is like for hotties like you and LocalCouple. Equally I have met some AWESOME people and I have been on the receiving end of the positive side of it as well. So for me anyway, it is kind of worth sifting through all the rubbish to find the real gems. Fair enough?

(and sod off to the time wasters, the pic collectors, the fantasy bullshitters and above all, the lead-you-on's).

Well said Davew...the door does swing both ways. But, like I stated earlier...we ARE interested in meeting a guy for a long standing, semi regular basis type deal...its just a hassle in getting there. Lol...so basically just a useless rant, we had another single guy mailing us this morning with the great opening line that we wants to kiss me all over, but his wife (single with a wife?!) isn't into swinging.

That means he didn't even bother reading our profile, and his profile is false due to him actually being married. Two hits in one go, lol.

Hi Dave

Thanks for your input and I am glad that our line have put you off lol.

Agreed with you on some points like been stood up etc. it is lame and uncalled for of other to that to us but over the years we have learned how to deal with most of those types.

On the married part and playing alone well that is our rule and it is there because 99.9% of the married men who are on SH is cheaters and are looking for an affair and there is a big difference between swinging and cheating/affair, we believe that it is not fair toward that guys family to  chat or even invite him for drinks or a play date. We don't want to get involved in another guys domestics issues (as we have our own to deal with) and be blamed for breaking up a marriage etc.

@Localcouple flippen super stunning hot profile, as jul eendag in PTA/JHB is skreeu sal graag wil meet

Thanks Ptamootcpl

//watches calmly from the side. 

Those single unattached guys are really rare.

I think they're called unicorns... Oh wait, that's the singe unattached girl...!
Each to their own - yes I freely admit to being a cheater in the physical sense. I have zero and I do mean nil nadda zippo squat interest in an affair. Hell no.

But you don't hide it Dave, and that's the big difference...you had the balls to be honest about it on your profile, you're not hiding behind the "single" label. Boils down to what Mike_Pta said...it does seem that the single guy can also be classified under the mythical beast category, like girls, lol.

Quote by localcouple1234
But you don't hide it Dave, and that's the big difference...you had the balls to be honest about it on your profile, you're not hiding behind the "single" label. Boils down to what Mike_Pta said...it does seem that the single guy can also be classified under the mythical beast category, like girls, lol.

I assure you I'm only a beast in the sheets, on the streets I'm a perfect gentleman.

lol - thanks LC. The key here is honesty, as naive as that sounds. I know why I am here and the reasons for it are mine alone to bear. As are the consequences - these are adult games we play and adult consequences will ensue. There is no point in hiding my marital status - do I really think that anyone I might perhaps one day end up playing with isn't going to find out? No, in this lifestyle you are having to trust others a huge amount and trying to bag a quick shag based on a premise that simply isn't true is unlikely to pan out well...

Quote by lizaan
hi


yes that is the case. most guys on here are just looking for a quick shag, and if you offer it to them, they become all jittery and back down. we are still waiting for a guy who said he is on his way. sad truth is, this site caters for all people whose got an email address, no real way to tell you that a profile is real. only the member verification option and the vouching option, but that doesn't mean if you have a vouch, that you are the real deal.
couples do this as well. they contact you, they set up the meet, and then you never hear from them again after they didn't pitch.

Easy enough to solve.  if they don't meet your minimum criteria, don't even reply, if they do, you chat a bit in here, if there is a bit of spark, go on cam so you can see who they are and they can see who you are (on cam, dressed, normal blah blah), then you set up a meet, make a date of it for the two of you so that if the one you are meant to meet doesn't pitch you still have a good time.

If at any time you have any misgivings about them, you don't progress at all, and you don't owe them an explanation.

Quote by Well
Easy enough to solve.  if they don't meet your minimum criteria, don't even reply, if they do, you chat a bit in here, if there is a bit of spark, go on cam so you can see who they are and they can see who you are (on cam, dressed, normal blah blah), then you set up a meet, make a date of it for the two of you so that if the one you are meant to meet doesn't pitch you still have a good time.


If at any time you have any misgivings about them, you don't progress at all, and you don't owe them an explanation.

Very well said. I wish more people could understand this. 

Couldn't say it better myself. Am used to rejection. A lot. But then I've also done some rejecting myself. As long as you are decent about it and honest it really shouldn't be a problem - none of us like it, but I'd far rather have a simple No than an awkward situation with no clothes on and then a No! 

Have been a member  of this site for many years and on and off this site its seems to be a trend i have myself fallen victim to your rant but have sent apologies for my short comings. But as you have stated that most men who are married on this site do cheat  Yes point in qusetion but have anyone of you found out why? this does not excise the action by no means but there are married men living in sexless mariages and with a family but to safe guard the family he cheats.

This does not go to say it right nor is this site structured to protect the married couples who play here. So yes i do agree there is this element of people we deal with but i have made some diamond friends on this site and on occasission we enjoy each others company.

so there are merts to the site.

I think our original statement with the rant got lost...we get that's there's nice guys on the site...but married, sexless marriage etc. 

But...don't lie about it then. Simple as that. We got way more strict with our validations concerning this, and we're ok with that. That still doesn't justify (not that it should) not pitching for a meet, or trying to corner the lady into a private meet...be it single or married. Single/married guys need to understand the couple is just as weary or nervous, and just as respectfull to your needs...the same as theirs. DaveW gets it...he always does

Boils down to mutual respect for needs and preferences. We never, EVER want to be the reason for turmoil in someone's relationship. We're here for the fun...had loads...and the friendship...made plenty.

Unfortunately this is a topic that will never get rest. There will always be a single gent complaining that his one liners are not being answered, a couple that can't find a unicorn and someone else upset that they got stood up for reasons unknown. 

The problem is that this is an adult lifestyle which means adult problems also happens. Sometimes people get to many messages and they start filtering their messages, unicorns are by nature rare and people get stood up for reasons. As such the best one can do is learn from the experience and move on. 

The biggest thing people need to learn is that this is an Internet based community, with that comes a bending of the facts. Some guys lie about their martial status to try get ahead in the game. Some people also join for the fun of it and then get a wake up call when someone asks them out. It's just the way things work online.

As such I have one thing for everyone to remember. Take everything you see on the site with a pinch of salt. Speak to people on cam, spend time getting to know them and look for the loose thread. If you just relax and take things slow you can meet some amazing people, it just takes a little elbow grease 

Lol...we get it Mike_Pta. Been on the site close to 5 years, met some amazing people. This was us venting...at best.

At least it got the forum talking again, lol.

PS...if you're ever in Bloem we need to have a beer and a long discussion concerning the many facets of Deadpool ;)

Great movie! Loved it! lol So interesting the two approaches - Marvel vs DC. Ooh, I could get stuck into this for hours..! 

Personally I'm not a fan of the deadpool movie, they made a few mistakes with regards to his origins and they didn't quite do him justice in other areas.

Fun fact though, Deadpool is pan-sexual.

I am soooooooo tired of this topic...it feels like I have spend years explaining how a single male could ever justify being on an "alternative lifestyle" site. I have personally had enough of the abuse that you encounter.

Localcouple, rather rename this the Deadpool thread and see if we can get a couple of smiles out of the people that actually come into the forums.

When are you visiting us Flagg?

We prefer married guys but even that is not safe, they all start getting all lovey

So sadly we now have only one regular married friend, for the last 16 years

Hi Lee (biiiiig smile) - nearly road trip time! Will keep you updated.

Flagg got a big smile...lol...our work here is done.

We need to organise a forum road trip me thinks to see all the big smiles (and possibly a few o faces )