1. There is a strong chance I'm only talking to you because I have reason to believe you are a Libra.

2. Your last partner was an Aquarius and I swear I'm not holding it against you.

3. Woaw, I am not new agey. I am a witch.

4. I have a PhD in talking to the trees at night.

5. My job skills include living alone and letting my cat make my decision for me.

6. I like long walks on the beach, directly into the bottom of the ocean.

7. Despite my best efforts, I am real.