So I hope I'm not rattling any cages, but I wonder what would happen if I put "COLOUREDS ONLY" on ads I put up. Is it normal to feel like offended in a way? The other day we were asked to try to organise a 3some for a black lady with 2 white guys- it is a fantasy she would like to experience. She's a good looking woman. The guys saw her pics and were happy to make it happen, but then got cold feet and ignored messages, etc.
I tried to get advice about how to make them feel comfy like maybe they were stage fright. So I asked and some said maybe a meet and greet first, like a coffee date to put everyone at ease. Seemed like a good idea to start. But do you know what more said? That the lady should go get tested and show the guys her certificate. I was gobsmacked! Is this the real reason besides preference that they won't play outside their race? "Then they know she's clean" wow really? Now question is, would they have requested a certificate if she were white?
I know this is going to cause trouble, but attitudes and thinking like that has totally shocked and disgusted me. From now on I will not even entertain any folk that have the famous "only play within our race" or "whites only" or "do not cross the race barrier" I am coloured and I don't carry my std/hiv free certificate with me.
*this is me venting
I met my ex here, we had such mad chemistry we dated for a year and like 7months. After that and in between I've met friends and awesome couples some I have played with, some that are just friends. Also met my business partners so alls good! Awesome people !
Maybe us singles should find our own site. Imagine all the couples that refuse to play with single males - no females on the site only couples, ya I don't see that working. So swingers or not singles are needed.
Thank goodness lol but maybe I should be more open?
So I've been thinking, I have to change my mindset about the lifestyle. Spoke to a sexual life coach about being a swinger and I think I might not be doing it right.
I've met guys that have told me I'm too "good" to be a swinger. I prefer chatting to guy or couple then sort of see if there's connection. Next step would be a meet and greet and maybe a make out session depending on chemistry-then at a later date a play date. All the while chatting on instant chat (bbm, what's app).
Am I doing it wrong? I mean twice I've ended up dating the guy for longer than 6 months and we don't really swing we become exclusive. I also feel like bad if I sleep with someone on a first meeting. What's wrong with me lol.
What do you guys do? What's the correct etiquette. Is it okay to be fussy? I usually only meet like one dude out of 20-30 guys that message me. I would like to change my mentality but I can't have sex with just anyone.
I would just like to say that I don't consider anyone ugly, we all just have different tastes and preferences. I don't know if I am narrow minded or just being sensitive, but I look nothing compared to ur lady, so what does that mean? I am and others like me that are not in the "hottie" category. Ten to one the "hotties" are a lame lay because like in life some "hotties" don't feel the need to improve their personalities or other things and go through life only depending on their looks to get them through.
When I mentioned standards I didn't mean lowering it, I only meant maybe tweaking your preferences eg. race? Or age, stuff like that. I didn't mean go and get desperate. I've had awesome times with guys I wouldn't usually go for.
At this rate your search will be tough. I'm saying again women are intimidated by you and your attitude towards this whole thing. Anyway, good luck guys.
*not meant to offend just my input.
Missed you PIB mwah.
Your reply is true though. I try not to take things personally on this site or forum. People are different I guess.
But I firmly believe that your attitude and approach determine your success rate. I will use an example: if a couple approached me by sending private album invite, I delete. If the male approaches me, first thought I have is- the female/wife/gf is doing this to please her man. That she is not actually into this but loves him and wants to give him this. 8 out of 10 times its true. So I also decline.
Personally, I would respond to couples in the chat room, especially if it's both of them chatting, then exchange pics and then move over to instant chat. Then go for coffee and if the attraction is there, take it further. Let things flow naturally. But there are women that prefer just meeting and screwing, people are different. If someone looks like they going to make me feel uncomfy or self conscious it's a don't go for me.
Use it don't use it
Stamina****Did u notice on your profile under quick messages there is a chick trying to get your attention? Check her out dude she stays nearby.
I'm going to reiterate - drop ur standards and stop comparing real life to porn. You assuming 3some is going to be like the ones u and ur girl watch. No ways!
I am probably close to 90-100kgs, I am no model but I've had a few 3somes awesome ones. I get offered and asked to join couples atleast twice a day. As a single chick this is what I look for and then decide if I'm joining:
Am I attracted to the pics they send?
Who am I chatting to? Prefer the female.
Take it to instant chat(whats app/bbm)
Are they going to just use me as a prop?
Meet for coffee/drink, am I comfy.
Do we match (attractiveness, etc)
I spoke to a sex therapist yesterday that told me something about the female phsychi... women like to know there's something in it for them. maybe let ur chick put up ad, offer a night of pampering like take the chick out for supper or ask them to join u at a swingers club or private party. Make her feel like a person not just like u want to use her as an extra. Real women don't have perfect bodies, ur gf is younger also so I'm telling u again women are intimidated. And after reading ur reaction to me saying u should drop ur standards, u are still looking for a "model" type.
Why not come to one of our parties or maybe I should organise a 3some for u guys. I would suggest that u meet up with a couple there's a lot of good looking ones and try the soft swing else if u open to it check other than what u wishing for. Like differnt race, size, age? Try something other than 3some maybe? This shouldn't be so difficult to have some fun.
I must be shit popular, oh no wait it's just cos I have a single female profile :/
Steve Harvey says sometimes u gotta have standards but if u want a realistic person drop them abit. U guys are a sexy couple and u always talking about fhm models. Not all of us are magazine level sexy. I honestly think girls are intimidated by u as a hot couple. I feel that way and u haven't even approached me. So imagine. What on ur wishlist of the perfect partner can u scratch off or forgive?
Stop looking for it also, check out chicks profiles and leave it at that. Let them come to u. And go to clubs, what other fantasies do url have. Go and experience them. A watched kettle never boils, let this be what it has to. Ur approach is good, but maybe u approaching the wrong women?
a fence offence.............
I'm still confused, what fence? What farm? I don't get it, im I the only one??
Not to sure if something like this has been posted but anyhoo.
People get misled, thinking because I organise adult events that I have done and seen it all. I often get messages from couples and singles requesting that I "show them the ropes"- they assume I am experienced. Well the complete opposite is true. I am very inexperienced lol but I do have a lot I would like to try:
-Same room sex with me and my partner(need one first) and a couple.
- soft or full swap with me and my partner and a couple.
-Get with a black guy.
-get with a real Asian guy(not indian)
-Attempt to get with another white guy-first time was a fluke.
-Have a mmf.
-Join in on group sex or orgy
-My partner and I being watched(preferably by a group of people)
-watch a sensual gang bang all this with a partner,
-Oh and find a partner lol
These are a few of mine, what are yours? Or what do you wish you could do again?
**if I have offended anyone I apologise was not my intention.
Personally it's not for me but, I'd like to know. With all this free flowing semen, do guys get tested? How does it work? And if they do get tested, what if it's in the 6month window- where they might not be healthy?. Can the chick like take on too much? Can something happen? Lol sorry curious...
Our venue is opening by end feb. There's jacuzzi, pool, couple massage. But it's more like a guest lodge
At last now I don't have to feel bad haha
Am I allowed to comment? I've had 2 exes that loved this. Can someone tell me if Licking, sucking or caressing/massaging perineum (excuse spelling) the part in between the scrotum and butt hole has same effect?
Oh and also couples and men that just send album invites, no messages no intro but willing to show their insides. Sigh, I didn't know I'd ever say this, but I'm tired of seeing vjayjays and penis. Lol
There is of course so much of the ticked off items that I would enjoy doing again and in different / better ways.
