A gentleman who's not always gentle.

> “Is he... quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.” “Safe? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good.”-The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Slightly average in all measurable categories 🫡

height? respectable.

Build? pleasantly standard.

Stats? beautifully mid.

But personality? Absolutely unhinged in the best way. I am the human equivalent of “vanilla ice cream” until you realize it’s actually vanilla bean with gold flakes and a shot of espresso.

I bring golden retriever charm with a hint of “might own decorative restraints.” I enjoy a tasteful bit of impact play—consensual, communicative, and with excellent rhythm, but I can just as easily set down the flogger, pick up a spatula, and make you the crispiest, gooiest grilled cheese of your entire existence. I believe in aftercare and perfectly caramelized sourdough. Balance is important.

Equal parts chaos and comfort. Your mom would love me. Your group chat would fear me.

If you’re here for good vibes, clear consent, and the occasional questionable humor — welcome. 😌