Quote by Matt321

This is very relatable. I think a big issue is, people have no decency when writing a message. There's no "hi there" and them introducing themselves with what they like and are interested, I do this and get maybe 1 out of 20 people responding so who knows what others want 🤷‍♂️. People just send a message that is vile and think it'll work. So when people write a decent message and have taken the time to read someones profile before sending a message and get nothing in return its very annoying. I could say a lot more about people and their behaviour on this site but it'll cause a lot of upset

Could not agree more!!! Cant seem to understand what the big issue is, a simple respectful reply will go a long way!

Quote by Dazza_81

So totally agree with this. My pet hate is, you reach out to someone and send a message. They read it, look at your profile and it ends there. The reality is someone took the time to send you a message, if you’re not interested then tell them that, rather than ignoring them. I find it blatantly rude. It’s like you’re putting your hand out to shake, and the other person looks you up and down and just ignores you. I think common decency is lacking with plenty of people on this site.

Amen to that! Time wasters are rhe worst. My favorite is, "hi love your profile, can we chat perhaps?"

"Sure, heres our number/telegram" ....... silence.

Or when people just ghost you. You send a message or two andyou get the "sorry, just quickly busy with something, will reply shortly" ..... silence. A day or two later you send another message....... silence. Good lord thats annoying!

Quote by Matt321

Well said. Unfortunately there are a lot of time wasters on this site which makes one very despondent in messaging and reaching out to make new connections. I've had several interactions where all is going good on and then they just dissappear. Even after a coffee meet has been organised. It seems a lot of people lack any form of decency

Same this side. Quite annoying to be honest. I think it's more a situation of not having the guts to follow through. Easy to chat on WA or even over the phone. Its fun and exciting, but once things become "real", people get cold feet.

Quote by SDM
applicable

Unfortunately you are quite right.

Rant start:

Where has common decency gone? You know, good old fashioned manners? Like when someone says good morning, you greet them back. Or if someone voices an opinion you don't agree with, you can actually agree to disagree....... who knew? Or even when someone sends you a message, you reply back, you know, that rudimentary stuff most our parents taught us when we were kids.

So we all know there is a plethora of diffrent personalities out there, especially in the lifestyle. The reality of the matter is, when chatting to new potential playmates, there is a very real chance that not everyone will find the other person sexually attractive. It is what it is, it is all part of the game.

Now here is where my pet peeves steps in:

When you still in the "getting-to-know each other" phase, when you are still sending a few messages back and forth, where everyone is still trying to get a better feel for each other. Should you find yourself in the situation where you do not find any chemistry, don't be a dick about it, man up, all you need to do is politely say to the person/other couple, "sorry guys, not feeling a connection here, thank you for your time" and everyone can go their merry way, it's actually that simple. No offense intended, and if the other person/s are indeed grown-ups, non shall be taken. Don't simply just stop replying to messages mid chat and ignore or ghost the other party, not only is that annoying AF, but that's just plain rude! The key here is to remember, it's not only about what YOU want out of the experience, there is another couple/single involved in the equation as well, and it's also about what they want from the experience. The challenge of course is to find the happy sexual equipoise, but that's a whole different discussion for another day.

You don't feel any chemistry, no problem, it's bound to happen somewhere along the line, but be open and honest about it. Don't waste the other people's time, or act like a chop. Be polite and simply bow out respectfully. Again, it's actually that simple.

You make initial contact and want to see a face pic of the other couple/person, you post one 1st, then ask for one, not the other way around. Don't get your panties in a bunch when the other party does not immediately jump at your demand to share a pic, although you haven't shared one yourself. Some people (us included) are reluctant to just share face pics after a simple "hallo, I'm Bob, how are you guys doing, can I have a face pice please?", and for a very good reason I might add. We are in no way or form, trying to mislead you in any way, I just want to get to know you first a bit, until I'm comfortable with you and your intentions. Again, it's not only about you and what YOU want.

You want to share sexy pics, that's super!! But first ask whether the other couple/person is comfortable with doing so. There are so many pic collectors and BS'ers in the lifestyle, thus some people don't like sharing sexy pics untill they've met you in person. Others want to get to know you a little first before sharing, whatever the reason may be, for their unwillingness, is actually totally irrelevant. Don't just sommer send a bunch of pics, then get all tweezer-lipped if the other party does not reciprocate. Again, it's not only about what YOU want, it's about what everyone is comfortable with.

You send someone a message, for Pete's sake, people have jobs, families, a life outside of the lifestyle, it is not always possible for them to answer a message immediately. Don't get miffed-out when people dare not drop everything they are doing, at that very minute, just to reply to your message. Yet again, it's not all about YOU.

So in short, don't be that guy, nobody likes that guy. Be polite, be considerate towards the other people you are interacting with. Act like a grown-up, be honest with people and respect their time, as much as you wish them to respect yours. Although we are all very cognizant as to why we are all here, please bear in mind, the other party/person, owes you ZIP, ZERO, NIKS, NADA, BOGGERALL, Skippy, so try cut them some slack.

Instead of demanding and insisting on things being done your way, perhaps consider finding some common ground with the other couple/single and who knows, your success rate, might just increase exponentially.😉

Ok rant over!

😬😬😬

Mmm, we have had that request a few times, gents wanting to buy Mrs C's used underwear 🤷🏻‍♂️.

No judgment here of course, whatever pops your bubble.

Inside a G6 Artilliarary gun (tank)

Inside a fire engine

Inside a skydiving plane, on our way to do a show jump.

Underwater BJ whilst scuba diving.

Park bench at night

Confession booth

In a response car

Beach

In a heated pool at a resort, with people all around us

My bosses table

Side of the road

Car Park

On a boat whist fishing

Back of a limo

Ellis Park stands

Ellispark Rugby Suite toilets

In a treestand, while hunting

Lift

Oh and Brakpan, probably the stranges place I've ever had sex

Quote by Karoocpl

Thought it was our location that makes it so difficult but apparently not , go to meet and greets and parties to meet folks reckon thats the best bet far too many wannabes and fakes on this site!

I think you might be right. Meet and greets might just be the way to go here.

So a few months ago, my wife took me totally by suprise, by sheepishly suggesting that she wouldn't mind venturing down LS rabbit hole, to see where it might lead us. Now with her being your typical "plaas meisie", with a super conservative upbringing, this obviously took me totally by surprise no doubt. Anyhow, shortly after regaining consciousness, from the mere shock of this very out of character suggestion from her, we ever so eagerly started the process of finding suitable candidates. I mean, how difficult could it be? You go on the SH site, select a couple, meet up and Bob's your auntie, right? ...... right? WRONG!!

Well, to be totally honest, up untill now it has been an arduous journey for us. Sifting through the mountain of profiles (yes we actually read through the profiles), we soon came to realize that this would be all but "a simple task". Just the sheer amount of variables/personalities/preferences involved, and the potential influence these attributes might have on whether the participants will be suitable for each other or not, actually makes it redonciously difficult to find a good fit! This couple/person only prefers fit people, those do not like smokers. This person does not like facial hair, that one likes a hairy chests. This couple only likes soft swing, those couples only prefers playmates of a certain age group and the preference-lists goes on and on.

Don't get me wrong, it goes without saying that of course it is each person/couple's perogative to set their own list of preferences, but how do you actually alingn the planets of 4 individuals so that everyone is in a sexual equipoise? What is the secret? What is the key to sexual contentment?

Fortunately we have had the pleasure of meeting three super couples in the process, all of which we ended up befriending, but other than them, there is no one! 

I wish I could give something the blame such as perhaps our standards might be to high, or my wife is super fussy, but this is not the case. In most cases we have not even passed the initial message stage on the website. We have obviously sent out a few messages, during our 12 month tenure in the LS and on the SH platform, but 95% of our messages were simply ignored and not even responded to. And those very very few messages which were actually replied to, numbers were exchanged, then....... nothing. No comms whatsoever. On the even fewer occassions where WhatsApp numbers were exchanged and actually used, a few pleasantries were exchanged, a face pic or two was swapped and again, boom! The end of the initiative.

We have not even managed to reach the point of actually meeting up for a drink/coffee in most cases. (other than one couple we met, a while ago two absolutely stunning human beings!!). Some couples would make plans, which never seem to materialize (of course no explanation needed and we harbour absolutely no hard feelings towards them, I am fairly sure they have a valid reason for their actions, no judgment here at all), or this person is not "feeling it" with that person, or the initial "Hallo" WhatsApp message, is not even responded to, again the list goes on and on.

Look, I'm under no delusions of grandeur, by thinking that we are the worlds most beautiful people, we are I suppose your avarage guy and gal next door, but we are not uneasy on the eyes either. Quite on the contrary, my wife is very attractive, with a super body and if I had to be patently honest, looks much better than most 25 year old women out there, but still, other than the plethora of requests from the single-gentleman army, not much "intrest" has been forthcoming from the couple front. (Which is obviously our preference). Why is that? I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. Is there perhaps some magical method of making this actually work? How exactly does one reach this illusive Swinging Summit? 🤷🏻‍♂️

So if anyone out there has the formula to success, please kindly share it with us, because obviously we are doing something wrong! 😄😄

D&F

I think many people, still don't actually know themselves where their sexual preferences lie, so it is not that easy to put a lable on it. Every guy is bi-curious until you want to stick a finger up his butthole.

Idk, in my opinion that is.🤷

The new interface is a bit messed up TBH. Everything we said we were not looking for, seems to be popping up on our feed all of a sudden. 🤷🏼‍♀️

As long as society remains in the dogmatic groove of what is perceived to be "socially and in some cases theologically acceptable" and what not, our lifestyle will always be frowned upon by those "normal folk". Except for the brave few whom dare challange the constraints of society and are willing to be more open about such matters, society will, well in the short term at least, not open up more to our lifestyle choices.

Unfortunately the vast majority of people will remain bias against those whom take charge of their own sexuality, although I will be willing to venture out and say, than many of them secretly wish that they could also be part of it.

Thank you for the reply! Actually it didn't go to badly at all. Sure nothing happened, for what we were to assume was a host of factors, not playing in our favor, I.e. weather, COVID the recent unrest etc., but we still ended up having a great evening.

There was probably only about 30 or so people at the club, but tbh we actually preferred it that way, less overwhelming, especially for our 1st outing, the smaller crowd definitely took alot of the pressure off of us.

Arriving at the club, it did not take to long before we were welcomed by other couples, which was really great, especially for us who did not know what to expect. The host and hostess were fantastic, which again made matters easier and we felt at home almost immediately. We met up with another couple who has been in the lifestyle for quite sometime, who took the time to give us the full breakdown of do's and don'ts, can and cant's while playing, which was a tremendous help to neophytes. 

All and all, we had a fantastic time and will most definitely pop around again......... however only when it's warmer of course 😁

We will be heading off to a club, for the 1st time today. We are total newbies to both the LS and obviously the club scene, any advice?