Only Ladies to reply ... NO men please !

5 Feb 2015

Hi Ladies, (AND LADIES ONLY PLEASE !!!) Hubby is pushing me to "explore" but I'm not quite ready as yet. I'm still very nervous and shy redface

. I have however said he could "try out" what he pleases but only if he tells me upfront, who it is and where he is going. What I want to know is:- - Are there any other ladies out there with the same predicament? - Would you allow your man to "explore" on his own until you are ready? - Vice versa, are there any ladies out there that your hubby will allow you to explore on your own and have fun? We've been married 24 years and we trust each other 100% with absolutely no doubts at all ... If you are one of the ladies that is going to reply, and please, constructive comments otherwise don't comment at all, would you be one of the ones to "offer" him some "fun" alone without your hubby? I'm at a cross roads here and not sure which way to go on this ... confused

: Some sound advise would be a great help ... Mrs_SimonTemple

5 Feb 2015

hi simontemple I honestly cant say that it is ok or not. not all swinging relationships are the same, hubby and I do have an open relationship, but that does not mean we go out looking for play dates to play without one another, if the occasion arises, our playmates do ask for one of us, depending on what they are looking for, me or him, and other times we go together. why not invite a lady or a couple, and you can be a voyeur. and that should also give you a clue on how comfy you actually are. also be very careful, as this can backfire in your face as well. no one truly knows what's going on in someone else's head. its better to have swung before and then make that judgment call, this way you know what is going for what. also, either you are into swinging or not, you cant be convinced to start swinging or to get ready. hope I've answered at least 1 of your questions. lizzy

5 Feb 2015

Well let me give you a short version of how we waded (very slowly) into this lifestyle Year one: we had a bit of soft play and flirting with VERY VERY good friends, they were friends BEFORE and they weren't in "the lifestyle" - we had no idea what the lifestyle was at this point. Year two: our friends leave town and the soft explorative play stopped abruptly. Year five: hubby suggests we try this lifestyle out.. I'm hesitant. We meet several couples socially and play with no one. Year six: we spend an evening with an older couple and I'm horrified and appalled by the blatant disregard for safety between them and the other couple who has also incidentally been invited, and I'm completely turned off and won't play, and basically put off the whole idea for another 6 months! Hubby persuades me that a single might be a better plan. I'm not really comfortable with sharing (besides they call them unicorns) but he appears to prefer the idea of a male visitor to "see to my needs" Year seven: we meet a single guy who doesn't seem to know how to have a conversation, rocks up shags and leaves. This happens a couple of times but his "day-only" restriction (single dad) means that there are long periods of time when we don't see him. After a 4 to 6 month gap between, he came over, no flirt, no preamble and looking considerably different. I was completely turned off. I refuse to have him visit again. Year eight: We make more friends that we never play with, we finally meet a couple who are incredible, we really enjoy their company and something "clicks" for me and I completely get it, but I realise this isn't "doing" it for the man in my life. Year nine: We have a slow and uneventful year, with very little fun until late in the year, when I find a group for us to join. The group seems less stress and more fun and less "trying" and more doing... but it involves only one event and nothing since Then I meet a single who becomes a friend, who, even though he isn't currently in the lifestyle, has agreed to assist our efforts.. Now: finally we are all having the kind of fun each of us is into smile

It's really ok to do it any way you please. There's nothing wrong with allowing him free reign. But you need to be willing to offer telephonic or cam or "meet-face-to-face" confirmation of your "permission" for him (most couples who don't allow "single marrieds" would require this from a married playing alone guy, in order for him to have any fun), OR meet the couple in question together and as lizzy suggests, remain on the sidelines until you're ready to participate. It's pretty much what my hubby did, and it's worked out excellently for him :twisted: Oh PS - The thing that helped me the most was finding FRIENDS that I felt comfortable and not shy or self-conscious with. So look for friends, also my swinging girlfriends and I agree that "female driven" profiles are a good sign :)

5 Feb 2015

Quote by SimonTemple
Hi Ladies, (AND LADIES ONLY PLEASE !!!)
Hubby is pushing me to "explore" but I'm not quite ready as yet. I'm still very nervous and shy .
I have however said he could "try out" what he pleases but only if he tells me upfront, who it is and where he is going.
What I want to know is:-
- Are there any other ladies out there with the same predicament?
- Would you allow your man to "explore" on his own until you are ready?
- Vice versa, are there any ladies out there that your hubby will allow you to explore on your own and have fun?
We've been married 24 years and we trust each other 100% with absolutely no doubts at all ...
If you are one of the ladies that is going to reply, and please, constructive comments otherwise don't comment at all, would you be one of the ones to "offer" him some "fun" alone without your hubby?
I'm at a cross roads here and not sure which way to go on this ... :
Some sound advise would be a great help ...
Mrs_SimonTemple

You can also get sound advice from Males.

6 Feb 2015

Thank you Lizzy and Lee .... sound advice ! I'm going to allow hubby to "explore" and perhaps go with as an outsider for now. I'll just take it one day at a time .... (Irish - there's always one, isn't there? What part of "Ladies Only" didn't you understand?)