WTF ....has swinging become the lowest denominator

Are we the elitist who think swinging should be sexy suave and classy or is it just a case of no one will fuck me so swingers are easy ...FFS  ????when last did u c a touch of class here? tell us plz that there are some folks that hold this as special instead of no hopers looking for a cheap prostitute?

you have clearly had some bad experiences..suppose if you interested in a hit and run...and a lot are imo..there your comments are valid....there are many levels of people here...its important to play in a level that you comfortable in...

My guess is that a large percentage of people on the site are not swingers..just a gut feel

No we have never had a bad swinging experience but it seems here lines are blurred too much, look up definitions of swinging..what is happening here is anything but.....

Quote by Karoocpl
No we have never had a bad swinging experience but it seems here lines are blurred too much, look up definitions of swinging..what is happening here is anything but.....

 I'm curious as to what your definition of swinging is. Please could you elaborate? 

Quote by jtrdbn

Quote by Karoocpl
No we have never had a bad swinging experience but it seems here lines are blurred too much, look up definitions of swinging..what is happening here is anything but.....

 I'm curious as to what your definition of swinging is. Please could you elaborate? 

 This is my thoughts on it as a wife of a swinging couple I think the term swinging has  different definitions for every couple 

For me it's basically living out your sexual desires and fantasies and having that openess and honesty to enjoy it with your partner 

For some single people and couples it's sexual exploration doing things out dey comfortzone 

For other couples and stuff it might be away of spicing up dey sex lives so I don't think in today's world you can really find one  definition for swingers everyone sees swinging differently 

But I do however agree that people looking to cheat and looking for a quick one night stand and thinking swinging woman are B*t*h and easy should not be in the lifestyle and unfortunately on this website the is alot of them that think this way 

Just my thoughts on the whole swinging meaning 

Quote by fadnad

Quote by jtrdbn

Quote by Karoocpl
No we have never had a bad swinging experience but it seems here lines are blurred too much, look up definitions of swinging..what is happening here is anything but.....

 I'm curious as to what your definition of swinging is. Please could you elaborate? 

 This is my thoughts on it as a wife of a swinging couple I think the term swinging has  different definitions for every couple 

For me it's basically living out your sexual desires and fantasies and having that openess and honesty to enjoy it with your partner 
For some single people and couples it's sexual exploration doing things out dey comfortzone 
For other couples and stuff it might be away of spicing up dey sex lives so I don't think in today's world you can really find one  definition for swingers everyone sees swinging differently 
But I do however agree that people looking to cheat and looking for a quick one night stand and thinking swinging woman are B*t*h and easy should not be in the lifestyle and unfortunately on this website the is alot of them that think this way 
Just my thoughts on the whole swinging meaning 

I really like that answer Fadnad. I think a lot of people don't realize that different people are on here for a lot of different reasons. I've encountered people who believe that their interests and only their interests are the definition of swinging. I say different strokes for different folks, each to their own etc etc. If someone rubs you the wrong way hit that block button and move on! 

With regard to rude people and bad attitudes I don't believe it's unique to Swinging Heaven. Every platform from Tinder to Linkedin has those creepy types who think that women owe it to them to have sex with them. That's just poor upbringing and lack of manners.

ok against the angel on my shoulder here goes ...cheating is NOT swinging it IS cheating ...singles can not swing but can be sluts...both genders..swinging means complete honesty and sharing lying cheating and fucking around have no place...swinging is about expanding ur as a couples sexual experience and thus drawing u as couple closer ! 

That it has to be explained ses a lot about this place!

Apart from definitions our ideal situation is a long term friendship that if...the conditions are condusive can evolve into a sexually open relationship and then again revert to "normal" friends if those conditions change.

Everything that works in "swinging" is based on honesty to yourself and your partner else it is a world of pain...

We have been in the "scene" a long time ...have seen so many lose it and more and more want to leave here because what we see here goes against all we have learnt ....but then there are those gems we have met...

We cannot agree more!

I went to my first whiskey live festival a few years back. It was great . Then each year it changed , they added craft gin and tequila and vodka and one year the name changed, it became the spirits live festival. So at first I was frustrated fewer whiskey stands , but I had to accept that the whiskey live festival was no more but there was still a place for me to sample new whiskey at this festival, I just had to navigate my way pass the stalls I had no interest in

Quote by The_Valentines
I went to my first whiskey live festival a few years back. It was great . Then each year it changed , they added craft gin and tequila and vodka and one year the name changed, it became the spirits live festival. So at first I was frustrated fewer whiskey stands , but I had to accept that the whiskey live festival was no more but there was still a place for me to sample new whiskey at this festival, I just had to navigate my way pass the stalls I had no interest in
  

This is pure gold. No judgment, not bothered by what doesn't concern you or interest you. 

Although I am not personally a fan of cheating I don't believe it's my place to judge those who do decide to travel down that path. 

I can't understand why some people would let the fact that other people are looking for different things change the way they feel about the "lifestyle" or want to leave because of it. That's like saying if I go to a restaurant which has great chicken and I really want that chicken but the person at the next table orders fish and this upsets me so much that I decide that I don't want the chicken and decide to leave the restaurant. Seems silly no?

Ok using the above arguments what if u were served wisky flavoured alcohol at fest or go to a restaurant claiming to be gluten free but only serves gluten based products? Nowhere did we say we giving up on the lifestyle, just contemplating if this site is worth it ....it claims to be something its not.

I think what you didn't get is that the "restaurant" is serving both gluten and gluten free offerings. You're free to choose whichever offering your heart desires. You're not forced to choose gluten, neither are you forced to choose gluten free. 

By the same token you don't get to tell the restaurant that because you are choosing gluten that they are no longer allowed to sell gluten free or that gluten free is no longer allowed to be chosen by any other diners at this restaurant. Seems a little unfair to the diners who actually want gluten free?

oh FFS r u serious?

or just an eff politician?

Quote by Karoocpl
oh FFS r u serious?

 Why?

Is your opinion the only one allowed?

I'm gonna get in trouble..... I'm gonna start a fight.... Na na na na na na.... Lol

Firstly the definition of swinging is not a matter of opinion. And by definition no single person can be a swinger. Look it up. 

And yes every cheating person on here Will try to say that the culture has adapted. But no the definition really hasn't. Swinging is the swapping of wives. 

As for class.... That is a matter of opinion. And once you sift trough the 99% you don't like you might find that one gem. But don't hold your breath. You can count the amount of true swingers on here on one hand. 

I know the linch mob is coming. But what ever is said next can't change the facts. 

Hugs and sloppy wet kisses 

Sam

Quote by sexysam69
I'm gonna get in trouble..... I'm gonna start a fight.... Na na na na na na.... Lol
Firstly the definition of swinging is not a matter of opinion. And by definition no single person can be a swinger. Look it up. 
And yes every cheating person on here Will try to say that the culture has adapted. But no the definition really hasn't. Swinging is the swapping of wives. 
As for class.... That is a matter of opinion. And once you sift trough the 99% you don't like you might find that one gem. But don't hold your breath. You can count the amount of true swingers on here on one hand. 
I know the linch mob is coming. But what ever is said next can't change the facts. 


Hugs and sloppy wet kisses 
Sam

I mean not really though. Swinging is not just wife swapping. You said look it up and I did and I think in the first 10 search results I looked at not one said swinging = wife swapping. So is it really a fact? Sure wife swapping is an activity within the broader definition of swinging but there's so much more

I truly am sorry you guys are having such a bad time here sifting through all the undesirables. The thing is, there are a lot of people (couples and singles) here who are finding what they want, having fun and enjoying themselves. I've been here a while and for the most part it's been fun.  I've made some good connections and will likely be here for some time still. Sure there's that random guy who sends me his private album invite every week and asks if I want him to give me a blowjob but honestly it doesn't really bother me or make me upset or whatever. 

Maybe it's a matter of looking inwards and asking:

1. Why am I taking other people's poor behaviour so personally and letting it affect me?

2. Why am I/we attracting these undesirables? Is it maybe a vibe that I/we are giving off? Or is it really just a bunch of bad mannered married guys not getting any at home and have now become super desperate?

3. Why am I/we here? If it's really that bad and I'm/we're not willing to put in the effort to find what I'm/we're looking for then maybe it's time to sign out and not look back. I find this one the most interesting because many couples don't actually put in effort to find what they're looking for but expect it to come to them on a silver platter! Yeah sure you posted a personals ad but that thirsty guy who refreshes ads every 5 seconds is going to ask you if you want to meet him in the bathroom of engen down the road from his house so that his wife doesn't get suspicious. 

Anyway, I think this site and the world in general and the experience you get from either is a factor of your attitude and what you put out. Positivity and good vibes go a lot further than we think. Give it a shot! 

I don't think anything said in the forum should start a fight, because by virtue of being members ( whether one is considered a  swinger or not) we should all prescribe to the rules of respect in the swingers lifestyle and that respect should extend to the rights to say ones say . I am a believer in what Marcus Aurelius once said, to paraphrase... what we hear is an opinion not a fact and what we see is a perspective not the truth. So Sam thank you for sharing your opinions. It helps us see things from a different perspective. So I have a group of friends that I drink whiskey with and the purists among them will not drink anything but single malt feel blended whisky is inferior. Then there is the debate about Irish whiskey versus Scotch vs Bourbon and when I drink with my Irish friends they won't drink Bushmills because it's Protestant whiskey. My point being amongst us we have different beliefs and opinions yet we can still come together and enjoy ourselves, and sometimes it's while they share a bottle of Mcallan and I'm drinking a Kavalan on my own, while the potjie cooks.

u know what people do not read comprehensibly anymore so much that we said was not understood some jumped to conclusions...hey have at it ...if u want to class all fornication as swinging have at it!..just don't include us ! 

over and out!

Quote by Karoocpl
u know what people do not read comprehensibly anymore so much that we said was not understood some jumped to conclusions...hey have at it ...if u want to class all fornication as swinging have at it!..just don't include us ! 
over and out!

 When did we include you in the definition? 

You included everyone by posting the original comments. 

p.s Valentines my fav is blackbush but guess that be the protestant in me ..and being from good scottish cattle rustler stock...eish!

Having followed the comments and deliberations, i conclude that the term 'swinging" is subjective to perception and expectations. We as a couple however " as per our profile' do not prefer the hop skip and jump approach. As it is, ts very difficult to open ones feelings and emotions to another person or persons, more so when one is not into discressionless and public sex. For that reason we do not like to post vouches of our experiences with other couples and neither do we like couples to post anything about us. Discretion is by far the better part of valour. Having said all this, having special long term friends are super awesome and it has made our trust in each other as a couple and amongst our friends noteworthy. Be safe out there and have fun you all.

I just had to reply I know alot of people are going to hate me for this and will probably get blocked but wow der is alot of one track minded people on here who won't accept change and if you can't why not just turn a blind eye and let other people be 

OK so if the meaning of swinging is swapping wives then I guess that's why it's called the lifestyle now because it has evolved from what in the 70s was knowing as swinging to what we see today in the lifestyle 

And I agree cheating F it's wrong and has no place in the lifestyle or swinging 

I got to ask the question the one member said on here that swinging is only for couples and only swapping wives so you telling me you have never played with a single person or had a 3 sum I am curious but once again it comes back to my previous post that swinging or the lifestyle has become about what a couple or a single want it to be not what a book says it should be 

Bottom line is everyone is going to have a different meaning of swinging and the lifestyle everyone will want to live out different fantasies and if I am been honest that's what the lifestyle has become about ask 90% of couples and singles on here why are dey here dey will say to live out fantasies. I have to ask yes that's not swinging to you so does that make them the lowest denomanator becoz it's not your definition of swinging 

I am not fighting just trying to understand your side. 

Quote by Karoocpl
p.s Valentines my fav is blackbush but guess that be the protestant in me ..and being from good scottish cattle rustler stock...eish!

 Well I know what my friend McGee would say but the wee Irish I have in my blood doesn't care who makes the stuff as long as it tastes good and puts me in the party mood. So I guess I will try some Blackbush next time we light a fire and grill some steaks or some Karoo lamb ( if I can track it down in JHB) I here it's all exported .

I would not know on the export thing our price at mo is R90/ kilo from our buyers yes karoo free range try checkers...but if passing by and enough notice could make a plan for u ...

One thing the OP must remember, swinging, no swinging, sluts, not sluts, cheaters and fakers......you WILL find them all here.

This site has a "free profile" option. As soon as a site is free, loads of unsavory characters WILL creep out of the woodwork. It will mean you need to do a LOT more sifting and verification to find those couples who fit your description of your needs. It is a fact that you will not get around, an unfortunate one, but fact none the less.

Quote by Karoocpl
Are we the elitist who think swinging should be sexy suave and classy or is it just a case of no one will fuck me so swingers are easy ...FFS  ????when last did u c a touch of class here? tell us plz that there are some folks that hold this as special instead of no hopers looking for a cheap prostitute?

 Been thinking about what you said.... this morning saw a comment " we live the lifestyle". 

Gave it some thought,  how many actually live a swinging life style?

We don't, to us its a hobby and suspect the sane for many.

A lifestyle is say converting to being vegan, its a total lifestyle type, a dedicated  lifestyle.

Maybe you blokes live it as a lifestyle,  think most don't as to them and us its an occasional or regular indulgence not a lifestyle.

Living the life style can be an issue I think. Agree with you Chappie swinging is and should be a naughty hobby. It should not control and consume every day.

I also think if you cannot meet a single lady and seduce her to your bed, no chance in hell are you going to succeed as a swinger. So far I have been fortunate. I have met good friends both singles and couples through swinging and I will profess that none of them are cheap. 

But at the same time I have seen the otherside of the coin on the Swing sites and walked away in one case it was a very brisk walk.