Why isnt it on? A controversial topic.

First off, I respect everyone’s choices. If a profile says, “No Single Men,” I respect that and won’t contact that profile.

That said, after browsing a lot of profiles, I’ve noticed many quite literally tell single guys to fuck off or go to hell. From their point of view, I understand it must be a nightmare to constantly have your inbox filled by single guys when you have specifically asked them not to message you. I get it.

What I don’t understand is this: if you know you aren’t interested in single guys, and you are 100% sure you don’t want them messaging you, why not turn on the setting that blocks single male profiles from contacting you?

Yes, guys should read profiles and respect “NO SINGLE MALES.” But we live in a world where people still need signs reminding them to flush the toilet.

So, we already know people aren’t always great at reading signs or paying attention to them. That is exactly why I assume the option exists to block single male profiles from messaging you.

A side benefit is that the opening paragraph of your profile doesn’t have to come across as negative or hostile. Instead of starting with frustration, you can start with what you are actually looking for.

So, genuine question: why isn't it on?

I feel you. I've had this conversation so many times. People say they're here to explore, but they haven't even explored the site to see that option under their privacy settings. Sometimes I think they leave it like that on purpose, so that they can bitch about it. To some people, attention is attention, no matter how volatile. Somehow responsibility has fallen to "the other person" to behave.

If you want to take control, follow this link -

https://www.swingingheaven.za.com/settings/privacy

Quote by CheekyMod

I feel you. I've had this conversation so many times. People say they're here to explore, but they haven't even explored the site to see that option under their privacy settings. Sometimes I think they leave it like that on purpose, so that they can bitch about it. To some people, attention is attention, no matter how volatile. Somehow responsibility has fallen to "the other person" to behave.

If you want to take control, follow this link -

https://www.swingingheaven.za.com/settings/privacy

While I get what you saying, I cant agree with your take that its wrong to have expectations of other people/person to behave. To me, that is as bad as the bad behaviour, as at best, are choosing to turn a blind eye to real problems in the community, at worst, you support the bad behaviour by toxic element.

Since returning, our experience has been horrible and it is specifically because of this exact toxicity of turning a bling eye to poor behaviour by sooo many in the lifestyle. So much for any care wrt safety, rules, ettiquete etc. There is a flood of nonsense for the very reason that everyone happily turns a blind eye, the hypocrisy is mindboggling.

Sure, certainly, turn the setting on, but then, you just get harrassed in other ways, comments on pics, comments on wall and tons more. That its always the same rubbish when trying to report issues 'Just block them, thats what its for' just shows how little those in charge care about user safety and happy to have all the toxicity, all about money, screw the community.

Ignoring profiles cause of 'system' options to block etc you literally empowering the toxic element to runamok, and offer newcomers zero protection.

What would be unacceptable behaviour irl cannot be treated as non-problematic here. There should be no double standard, no hypocritical nonsense. If its harrassment out there, type of behaviour would get you into trouble, harrassment etc, it should do so here. That you can block etc as person/couple on recieving end of the poor behaviour should in no way mitigate a need for action to be taken for the bad behaviour, end of story.