Swinging Is Hard Work, Real Hard Work!!

So a few months ago, my wife took me totally by suprise, by sheepishly suggesting that she wouldn't mind venturing down LS rabbit hole, to see where it might lead us. Now with her being your typical "plaas meisie", with a super conservative upbringing, this obviously took me totally by surprise no doubt. Anyhow, shortly after regaining consciousness, from the mere shock of this very out of character suggestion from her, we ever so eagerly started the process of finding suitable candidates. I mean, how difficult could it be? You go on the SH site, select a couple, meet up and Bob's your auntie, right? ...... right? WRONG!!

Well, to be totally honest, up untill now it has been an arduous journey for us. Sifting through the mountain of profiles (yes we actually read through the profiles), we soon came to realize that this would be all but "a simple task". Just the sheer amount of variables/personalities/preferences involved, and the potential influence these attributes might have on whether the participants will be suitable for each other or not, actually makes it redonciously difficult to find a good fit! This couple/person only prefers fit people, those do not like smokers. This person does not like facial hair, that one likes a hairy chests. This couple only likes soft swing, those couples only prefers playmates of a certain age group and the preference-lists goes on and on.

Don't get me wrong, it goes without saying that of course it is each person/couple's perogative to set their own list of preferences, but how do you actually alingn the planets of 4 individuals so that everyone is in a sexual equipoise? What is the secret? What is the key to sexual contentment?

Fortunately we have had the pleasure of meeting three super couples in the process, all of which we ended up befriending, but other than them, there is no one! 

I wish I could give something the blame such as perhaps our standards might be to high, or my wife is super fussy, but this is not the case. In most cases we have not even passed the initial message stage on the website. We have obviously sent out a few messages, during our 12 month tenure in the LS and on the SH platform, but 95% of our messages were simply ignored and not even responded to. And those very very few messages which were actually replied to, numbers were exchanged, then....... nothing. No comms whatsoever. On the even fewer occassions where WhatsApp numbers were exchanged and actually used, a few pleasantries were exchanged, a face pic or two was swapped and again, boom! The end of the initiative.

We have not even managed to reach the point of actually meeting up for a drink/coffee in most cases. (other than one couple we met, a while ago two absolutely stunning human beings!!). Some couples would make plans, which never seem to materialize (of course no explanation needed and we harbour absolutely no hard feelings towards them, I am fairly sure they have a valid reason for their actions, no judgment here at all), or this person is not "feeling it" with that person, or the initial "Hallo" WhatsApp message, is not even responded to, again the list goes on and on.

Look, I'm under no delusions of grandeur, by thinking that we are the worlds most beautiful people, we are I suppose your avarage guy and gal next door, but we are not uneasy on the eyes either. Quite on the contrary, my wife is very attractive, with a super body and if I had to be patently honest, looks much better than most 25 year old women out there, but still, other than the plethora of requests from the single-gentleman army, not much "intrest" has been forthcoming from the couple front. (Which is obviously our preference). Why is that? I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. Is there perhaps some magical method of making this actually work? How exactly does one reach this illusive Swinging Summit? 🤷🏻‍♂️

So if anyone out there has the formula to success, please kindly share it with us, because obviously we are doing something wrong! 😄😄

D&F

I think your analysis is 100% correct, it is hardwork. I often try encourage newcomers by comparing swinging to mining for gold, one has to move tons of mud and stones to get to a few grams of gold, but when you strike gold it is worth it. I don't think there is a formula to success, but I feel there are best practices to striking gold. The first one would be to chat with varified vouched for profiles. It limits your contact with fakes. The pool and the forums can be great places to get to know people and for them to get to know you. So if your profile is like a CV , then the forums and the chatrooms are like a Zoom interviews. Finally attend parties and meet n greets (or host a meet n greet) . As a couple my lovely fiance and I hosted a meet n greet in a nature reserve and met fantastic people.

Thought it was our location that makes it so difficult but apparently not , go to meet and greets and parties to meet folks reckon thats the best bet far too many wannabes and fakes on this site!

Quote by Karoocpl

Thought it was our location that makes it so difficult but apparently not , go to meet and greets and parties to meet folks reckon thats the best bet far too many wannabes and fakes on this site!

I think you might be right. Meet and greets might just be the way to go here.

Absolutely agree - our (my wife and I) latest 'venture' saw us being 'stood up' for a planned dinner date with a single guy. He had his reasons (after the agreed meetup time). Unfortunately for him, there aren't second chances to make a first impression.

Yeah nothing worse than the old no show . That's what makes a meet and greet the better option, but even with meet and greets there is normally 50 percent no shows. The day/night is not ruined though because you still get to meet a few great people and you can put a personality to the pics you have been perving on. The meet we held in Capetown had over 20 people confirm attendance and I knew who would be there and who would be no shows. Those unverified or those with no vouches all were no shows .

This is why we stopped looking for couples here.

We have been stood up by almost all the couples we had coffee/lunch dates with. Most don't even have the decency to cancel.

Then there is the I like her, but not him, or vice versa situation when a meet actually happens...

We agree , it is a lot of work . But with all things in life, everything that's worth it does take effort. At least we have this platform. There was a time before it .. lol . That was hard work. Listing in the contact magazine etc.

We are lucky I guess, not many no shows to date and made some amazing and lasting connections. But effort is key , and if you notice the little things that send out warning signs early on, you can move on and not waste effort on potential no shows .

Happy hunting people

For me its become too much admin to get done , get courage to drive somewhere and still worry if you safe. All the anxiety and that makes me just decline