SINGLES GUYS IN THE LIFESTYLE: MRS CAT'S PERSPECTIVE

8 Nov 2014

I decided to put my thoughts and opinions on the above subject in a blog so that my fellow lifestylers/swingers could tell me if my opinions had some merit....or not! :twisted: So please feel free to give me your comments:
I firmly believe that the lifestyle/swinging is something that enables us to explore our sensuality, sexuality, fetishes and fantasies with like-minded people in a safe, honest and open way.....and that this statement holds true for both men and women!
My 'bugbear' is: the current reality for single men in the lifestyle is that they are treated as 'persona non grata' by the majority. Men are subject to the 'Women Rule*' principle and are excluded from public functions eg Couples Only Parties at a swingers club....whereas single women are welcomed at these events (talk about discrimination!!)
Please do not misunderstand me here:
I am not saying that there is anything wrong with having a Couples Only event, however, then it should be a couples only event and not include single men or women.....likewise it would be a novel and, I think - a well received, idea to have some Singles Only events at clubs too!. I am also not referring to 'profile personal preferences' which exclude single guys - I believe that everyone is entitled to, and should, detail their personal preferences on their profiles.
My 'bugbear' is with the blatant general discimination of single guys in the lifestyle.
I propose that, based on the fact that we are all adults and that we have strived to attain equality in more ways than one, we amend the 'normally accepted swinging rules' as follows:
1. Abolish the 'Women Rules' gambit and replace with: all men and women are to respect their fellow human beings (manners are 'key') and only if all parties are comfortable and, in agreement, will any 'shagging activities' take place. "No" means 'no'.
2. Swinging clubs to change their entrance fee structures to: a single and equal fee per person (should this be accompanied by a complimentary beverage or small gift, that would be the individual clubs' decision wink

).
3. Exculsive events hosted by clubs should/could include: Couples Only Parties; Singles Only Parties, Under 30's Parties, Over 50's Parties etc
In my humble opinion, it would be an awesome idea if all 'swinging/lifestyle' websites would direct new members to the 'Guide to Swinging' as part of their 'sign up process' or/and 'welcome message'. This way new folk would have many of their questions answered and ettiquette explained (and, in so doing, would enter the lifestyle/swinging scene with realistic expectations).
I feel that effecting these minor adjustments would ensure that we are all equally and fairly served.
Your comments and constructive critisisms encouraged and eagerly anticipated!
* Womens' Rule: The ladies rule basically states that no gent, married or single, may approach any lady, single or married with any form of sexual advance, be it touching at all or verbally. The purpose of this rule is to create a safe place for our ladies and couples where they are not hunted the whole time.
Hugz
Mrs Cat
xoxo

8 Nov 2014

I rather like your suggestions. Wish I was in a position to do something about them.

9 Nov 2014

This is a very interesting post however I will refrain from stating any opinion out in the public space.

10 Nov 2014

My opinion or perspective from a single female...most "single" males on the site are indeed married men playing without the knowledge or permission of their wives. Usually they looking for easy and quick sex. Also I've been to parties where men were not limited, it was a disaster! I'm not saying all men , please don't get me wrong. Some men don't understand the concept of swinging, they mistreat women like me because we are on a sex site. At the parties where guys were charged less and unlimited, I was fondled and nearly forced to touch private parts etc. The situation was difficult to control, after that the club allowed verified males only. Some men tend to get into this zone where they feel that manners are not necessary and that if you are a female and you there then you want it. My input as a hostess of parties and an adult venue, we cater for guys but we do charge guys the equivalent as couples-reason being that we usually have an over flow of single men wanting to attend. Also single females prefer to play with couples as opposed to guys and couples prefer females. So we invite more females so everyone has fun that night, guys included. Else there would be an insane amount of single guys chilling by themselves. The men are screened and as far as we can see they are ok behavior wise are made members and there are some really cool guys around, loved socialising with them. The guys have also been invited by couples and females for play dates outside our parties. It is unfair yes, but reality a minimal amount of single females act inappropriately at parties/clubs compared to majority of men. In fact the last party we had female was banned and all the guys there made members so I suppose it depends on the individual. How do we sniff out the rif rafs though? As far as women rule goes I think it's a good rule, but also we have a no means no for everyone rule. For our parties, we want everyone to be sorted, comfy and enjoy. In most cases women are skeptical and anxious and men are open to doing things. If the women rule is taken away some men would take advantage and act up. Again it depends on the individual but rather have rule as guideline. **again this is from my experience and this does not apply to all single males.

10 Nov 2014

Quote by Sofistikitty
My opinion or perspective from a single female...most "single" males on the site are indeed married men playing without the knowledge or permission of their wives. Usually they looking for easy and quick sex. Also I've been to parties where men were not limited, it was a disaster! I'm not saying all men , please don't get me wrong. Some men don't understand the concept of swinging, they mistreat women like me because we are on a sex site.

10 Nov 2014

Quote by SDMR
My opinion or perspective from a single female...most "single" males on the site are indeed married men playing without the knowledge or permission of their wives. Usually they looking for easy and quick sex. Also I've been to parties where men were not limited, it was a disaster! I'm not saying all men , please don't get me wrong. Some men don't understand the concept of swinging, they mistreat women like me because we are on a sex site.

I would say that it's not because the women are on a sex site, I would say it is because that's the type of person he is. So no matter where or how he met with a women, chances are he would treat them exactly the same way.
I agree, an a hole is an a hole be he white, black, Indian or coloured. Or wealthy or not. But 7 out of 10 guys that message me and ask me: " ok then why are you here? You must be a sex addict, you can't be decent chick or be treated like a lady"
Again this is my experience as a single female. Not all men with single male profiles, but most. These are really the people we come across, you won't know unless you are single female in the lifestyle. Some women are okay with it but a lot of us are not.