The Learning Center gives information or guidance on things sexual. The sources are from individuals and may not be the mainstream view, but still might be of interest to the reader.
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I’m going to try and post different topics on the art of sex.
THE ART OF ORAL SEX :
THE PLEASURES OF FELLATIO
Notes on oral sex, from a woman who considers herself an artist on the subject
Men like a woman to play with their penis. To them it is their most important appendage and needs lots of attention by their lover. If you've never just taken the time to look at the male member, I suggest asking your man to get naked and lay on the bed while you inspect it. Feel free to ask him questions about it. I've never met a man who doesn't like to show himself off, and when you do it for the first time, this type of foreplay can lead to very satisfying sex for both of you. It is my opinion that most women don't have a clue what makes a man tick sexually. I've learned over the years that we women take it for granted that whenever we lie on our backs and offer ourselves to our men that they will do what comes naturally. This is true, but even the hottest sex life can become humdrum with repetition. I believe the reason for so many divorces these days is simply that couples are lazy about their sex lives. Good oral sex can keep a man satisfied and faithful to you even when the wrinkles start to come and intercourse isn't what it used to be. Oral sex should be even better than intercourse; it should be so intense that your man ends up whimpering for mercy, and he ends up curling up into the fetal position. I know that I can do that to a man, and if I can so can you.
There are four important rules that any woman who wants to really please her man in bed should adhere to.
Rule 1. Worship his penis.
Get to know his penis. As I mentioned before, every man likes to have his penis played with. If you haven't been interested in playing with his penis in the past, get that way now. When you're both naked try spending time playing with it. Just tell him that you want to play with it for a while, he won't stop you. Make him hard by slowly jacking him with your hand. Never squeeze too hard, but always hold him firmly and move the skin of his penis against the substructure of his shaft. There's a good reason why men like to masturbate, it's because it feels good. You can make him feel good too. Ask him what he likes. A woman who can jack her man off to orgasm will be his best lover ever. Play with it, feel it, kiss it, jack it, talk to it. Press it to your breasts; rub it against your face and lips. Tell him how beautiful it is, even suck on it. It's easy to be considered a fantastic lover when you worship your man's penis. You'll also have great sex afterwards. When you worship him, you have to really mean it. Faking will be obvious. If you don't like your man enough to worship his penis, then you're with the wrong man.
Rule 2. Don't automatically expect anything in return. Many lovers are just plain selfish. Both men and woman. The old cliché is "Slam Bam, Thank You Maam." Implying that the man is the selfish one. It has been my experience that there is enough selfishness in sexual relationships to go around. I firmly believe that selfishness has nothing to do with gender. A selfish lover is someone who was brought up poorly by his or her parents and they are usually self-centered selfish people in most things they do. Selfish lovers usually are miserly friends, or shallow thinkers; it's a society-thing not a gender-thing. If you approach your lover with the thought of, "I only want to please you," and mean it, you'll be surprised how much he will respond in kind. The best sex I've ever had was when both of us were intent on pleasing the other.
Rule 3. Don't Be Overly Squeamish Don't expect anyone to be sexually attracted to you if you stink. I am not talking about fresh natural lubricants when I mention stink. If you want to be a good oral lover you have to accept the natural excretions that a man exudes. I've performed oral sex on a man right after he's emptied himself in my pussy, and no I didn't have a moist towel to clean him up first. There is nothing more erotic to a man than to see his lover take his used penis into her mouth and give him another erection when only moments before he thought it was all over. (After all, no matter how messy his penis has become, it's only the natural excretions from sex, yours and his. Feel free to wipe the froth off with your hand, but don't get too fastidious or you'll blow the mood.) If you can't take natural body tastes and odors then give up being a good cocksucker right now. Everything a man excretes is harmless, and besides if you love him you'll learn to love his natural odors and lubricants. My suggestion is to try it in little increments. As an example, when you're "inspecting" your man's equipment, squeeze out some of that nice clear pre-cum of his, so a big drop stands out from his pee-hole. Lap it off with your tongue. If you make a show of it for him, he'll love you for it, and you'll see that it doesn't taste bad all at the same time.
Rule 4. Don't Stop!
This might be the most important rule of them all. If your man is ready to cum, don't stop what you're doing. It should be obvious to the demist bulb out there when her man is about to reach his peak. Experimenting and variety is great, but as the moment of orgasm approaches, keep the pressure up, keep the rhythm going. If he wants you to do something else, he'll tell you, but if it looks like he's ready, don't stop!
*** Okay, enough for rules. The rest of my remarks will be confined to technique, mixed with some philosophy about men and what they like. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to give good head. But over time you'll learn a few things that make it better and better. In time, when you tell him he'll be getting some head; he will be on his best behavior because he will be eager for the promised pleasure.
*** After getting to know and love your man's penis, which is a must. The next step is to try it out. It is good to know and REMEMBER these simple things:
ABOUT YOUR TEETH: Always remember your teeth. Even the smallest scrape by a sharp bicuspids can end the whole thing. On the other hand, moist lips are the perfect friction that will drive him wild. If you want to try the technique out in private and don't have a vegetable oil lubricated dildo, I suggest a large pickle. The advantage to this vegetable is that it most mimics the feel of a penis and is usually smaller than the real thing. Just barely cover your teeth with your lips, forming your mouth into an "O" and try slipping the pickle in. (Hold the pickle stationary and "bob" your head.) See if you can feel your teeth touching the skin of the pickle, if you do, keep practicing until you're sure you have it down. Keep in mind that a male penis is more comfortable and much more pleasurable to suck on than a pickle.
NOTE: Speaking of sucking. That is a misnomer. A good blowjob is all about friction, not sucking. What you are trying to accomplish is to recreate the vagina with your mouth. Sucking is just a term, such as "sleeping with" refers to making love, while "sucking cock" just means oral sex with a male. I'm not saying that you can't suck on your man's erect penis, which of course you should, all I'm saying is that if you want to get him off, it'll take a lot more than just suction to do the job.
THE GAG REFLEX: Almost anyone can learn to control their gag reflex, with the exception of those few people who have an over active gag reflex, which is probable less than 1/100th of a percent of the population. If you can swallow a pill using water, you can control your gag reflex. First, you must discern where your throat is, in relation to your windpipe, they are two different things. Most things can go down your throat just fine, but only air will go into your windpipe without causing great anguish. Unlike those porno stories where the woman learns how to control her gagging while a man is plowing away at her throat, the best way to learn is not with your partner. I learned the technique at the early age of 18 by using my finger. I had a boyfriend that I wanted to please so it was important to me to learn how to do fellatio well. I would stick my finger in my mouth and tickle the back of my throat. If your finger isn't long enough I suggest using a dildo, or a wet piece of liquorish. (Just make sure that whatever you use, it is long enough to maintain a good grasp on with your fingers so it won't become lodges in your windpipe if misdirected.) A secret that no one told me about is that if you learn how to swallow when he thrusts in, your gag reflex is greatly suppressed. I had to learn that for deep penetration before it finally became comfortable for me. A plus about that technique is that it feels real good to your man while it helps you perform better, a win, win situation. You don't have to get the gag reflex completely conquered before trying out a real live penis. Just remember that if you throw up on your man it will take a little something away from your sex act. I've never met a man who expected me to take them all the way in. Most men, even experienced ones have only received a little sucky-kissy, and that's all they expect. But let me tell you, when I get to work on them they never forget the experience, I've actually made some men cry. When you find that with practice, you can control your gag reflex well enough to take your man at least to the back of your mouth, you will truly be on the way to giving a superior blowjob. At this stage there is something to remember for your own safety before trying the real thing. Always allow yourself a way to disengage. You cannot breathe with a big stiff cock jammed down your throat. It hasn't happened often, but there has been a party girl or two who have suffocated because of an over excited face fucking jerk who wouldn't stop when she started flailing her arms and legs in protest. Just be sure that you are in control and can back off at will and everything will be fine. This is even more important when you're new to it. Your understanding man will help you here. He'll be so fascinated by the fact that you want to experiment with oral sex and are trying to do it right that he'll want to cooperate in any way he can.
THE DEEP THROAT: I first learned the deep-throat technique with a favorite boyfriend. I read up on all the different ways to do it and decided to try it like this: I lay on my bed and my boyfriend got several phone books and a towel to cushion his knees and elevated himself to the right height so that his erect penis was aligned with my mouth. Lying stomach down and bending my head back to face his crotch I let him slowly feed himself to me. The advantage to this position for the beginner is that it lines up the man's erect penis with your throat. The head being pulled back almost straightens the throat into an open tunnel without having to bend the penis too much to fit. The position can also be reversed so that the woman is laying on her back with her head hanging over the edge of the bed. What I don't like about this for the beginner is that if your partner is inexperienced (or a jerk) he might not stop when you signal him to. If he grabbed a couple of handfuls of hair he could ride your face with the potential of really making things uncomfortable for you.
BREATHING: Breathing while your man makes love to your mouth can be a challenge. It takes practice, but can be easily accomplished with concentration. Breathe when he has pulled back, and swallow when his thrusts in. It's easy to panic and lose it if you don't concentrate, but be assured that in time it will become almost second nature to you.
*** Just so you know, the ultimate goal for a good oral sex practitioner is to be able to allow your partner to use your mouth and throat just like he would your pussy, with just a little more consideration for the fact that you have to breathe through the same hole that he's making love to. Once you know what you're doing you'll be able to take him into your throat even in the "submissive" kneeling position. Oral sex is more than just the insertion of the penis into the mouth; it's all about friction. Soft most friction, fast and slow friction, textured friction, tactile and visual stimulation too. In the next few paragraphs I will tell you about the secret weapon that you have at your disposal to make your man cum in your mouth every time you want him to.
*** YOUR TEETH: I told you earlier to be careful with your teeth. Now I'm going to tell you that teeth can be pleasurable to your man during oral sex. The FRONT of your teeth, not the biting edge. The contrast of the hard smooth porcelain of the front of your teeth, with the soft smooth giving texture of your lips and the hot moist slipperiness of your tongue combine to make oral sex something that can be mind blowing if used in the proper sequence. The secret to get a man to shoot off is "variety". If you just kneel and bob, he'll most likely let you, but I doubt if he will have an orgasm. (Barring first times of course.)
YOUR TONGUE: You should start off your oral sex using your tongue. Lick him -- swirl your tongue around and around the head, suck on the head with your moist lips, rub the underside of the head and shaft against the flat of your teeth, then sink down on him as far as your can. The tongue is the secret weapon to any great oral sex. Most women can't swirl their tongue around their man's shaft while it is in their mouth. If you have a big mouth like mine it can be done. But if you don't, don't despair. You can get around this by licking him like a lollypop, and swirling it around his sensitive head. And the man gets the added "visual" stimulation so everyone wins. Licking is something you should do whether or not you can swirl your tongue around his shaft with it embedded in your mouth. Licking and head kissing-sucking is important. It plays to the "cock-worship" stimulation; it has both the physical and visual aspects that make the difference between a humdrum blowjob and a great one.
MASTURBATION: Masturbation is also an important part of oral sex, it heightens the friction and brings your man closer to orgasm faster. (You'd be surprised how many woman have never actually been able to get their men off with masturbation. That is usually because she doesn't know how and has never REALLY tried to do it right.) The proper masturbation technique is important. Many women hold the penis too lightly or too tight. Feel the skin, it should move against the substructure of his shaft smoothly, almost like pudding. An uneven rhythm is best, don't try to compete with his own technique because you'll lose. He has the advantage of knowing how he feels and what turns him on. But you have a big advantage too, you turn him on just by being naked and worshiping his penis. Even he can't do that as well as you can.
SWALLOWING: In my opinion swallowing is important. A man's sperm is 98% protein, and it's tasteless. It smells like bleach, and is slippery like clams, but it's pretty nice once you get used to it. You can make quite a scene swallowing it. My suggestion is to let him see that you are swallowing his cum. If you don't mind looking slutty, (And I don't) let some of his precious cum slide out between your lips and then suck it back in and swallow it. A brilliant smile at this moment will be appreciated. I read a book once that said if you didn't want to swallow, you could always spit it out on a towel. My feeling is that if you've been "sucking" your man's dick long enough to make him cum, why stop there? A man's cum is actually good for you, (High in Protein) and it can't hurt you and it is the final affirmation that you think he's hot. With a new lover I suggest finding out were he stands sexually. If you've just given him the blowjob of his life and he's accepted your gift, see how he reacts next. Is he a giver or not?
CUM SWAPPING: When I get to know a man I finish off with a french-kiss to send all french-kisses. (Not suggested for a first time sexual union, unless he seems eager for it.) You might be surprised; about 25% of the men I've been with didn't mind tasting their own cum, and some of them enjoyed it immensely, starting our hot encounter over again. (And I enjoyed the cum swapping too.)
*** There are more techniques that make a girl a real pro at oral sex, but I think I'll let you find these out for yourself. I've armed you with all the knowledge that you'll need to be the best little cock sucker he'll probably ever know. The key is your imagination, if you've got it, you'll succeed swimmingly, if you don't, well, I'm sorry, just do the best you can. I will tell one more secret though, and it is the most important thing to know of all. Although good oral sex is about friction, variety and good mouth work, it amounts to only half of what's needed to make a man blow his load. The other half (and believe me when I say this) is visual stimulation. Act sexy, but not gross; my rule of thumb is, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should." Never a truer statement was made. Make sure you know your partner before becoming too experimental. But once you do know him, pull out all the stops to please him. Let him "see" you sucking on him, let him "see" you worshiping his penis; let him "see" you enjoying his equipment. Make sure that he knows with certainty that you love him and his equipment. Submit to his wonderful instrument, caress it, make love to it, you will be rewarded a million times over by a most grateful lover. I can't emphasize this enough, visual stimulation is as important at the sex act itself. You'll know when you've got it right -- when you feel a throb and then a hot gush of jism between your lips. You'll know that you've got it right when you and your man are still together after all of your friends have broken up and moved on.
One final note: All of the above presupposes that you're with a worthy man, a man that is worthy of your talents. If he's not, no matter how great you are in bed, you're headed nowhere. You'd be better off with the single girl next door than the handsomest man in the world if he's a jerk. But then, you have to determine that, all I can tell you for sure is that there are some "real men" out there, ones that you could grow old with if you don't neglect them.
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hope this helped someone out there.
if you still struggling let me know I’m sure I can arrange a camera demo.
watch for my next topic
