matured swinger

12 Nov 2014

also for interest sake does swingers that's been swinging for yeaaaaaars tend to loose the charm of courting over the years? is it for them more about boning ? we met a couple a few months ago, we did get together for a braai 2 times before anything happened, but there was no chasing, almost like sex was going to happen no matter what any thoughts?

13 Nov 2014

I think it's more down to personal preference - the attitude of "lets get to the boning" doesn't trend more specifically with more experienced swingers. People tend more to one school of thought - usually I expect it's got to do with how they view swinging and the people that they are interacting with - usually from the beginning they either go for one or the other or are comfortable with either. Either it's a boning "stranger sex" thing (dogging, masked parties etc.) OR its close friend circle "we know and trust these people" (private circles, groups, private clubs, direct member to member meeting) OR it's commercial clubs, where you MAY meet people that you MAY connect with outside of the clubs OR you're mostly chilled and anything goes. (which I think my husband is lol

) Some people specifically get off on certain aspects of swinging - so I for example NEED the court, the flirt and chase to even be into it. So no matter how many years I'll be at this that need will never fade or get boring - My first swinging exp was about 20 years ago...still need the flirt! Some people get off on the visual so the flirting becomes unnecessary fuss before they get to the main show.. it all boils down to what the real thrill comes from, in the process or experience.

13 Nov 2014

thanks Lee that was the kind of response I was looking for. we also like the chase. but we do have our limits, if you don't respond by the 5th hallo how are you guys doing mail. then we move on. either we are too ugly or thin or fat or whatever. or you are just wasting everyone's time.

13 Nov 2014

Personally I also enjoy that uncertainty and working towards the fun part. There are couples I've played with and things are very familiar and sex is a given but one of my best nights was going out for drinks and the plan was just dinner and drinks. Long story short I got invited for an evening drive and ended up with my head between her legs. But I think it really comes down to how comfortable people are together. If your really comfortable then you know that the sex is coming so there is less chasing. However when there is some uncertainty then the chase is on, out comes the flirting, touching and build up. So I guess it's how you approach the night that decides if there will be chasing or not.

13 Nov 2014

For us personally, I would say the focus has shifted somewhat. We have always preferred the friendship route but I think in the beginning there was more of a focus on the sex, the idea of new partners and this whole new world that had opened before us was exciting and we were possible over eager and had a few mistakes rushing into some situations. We have since learned to enjoy the friendships, braai's, flirting, relaxed open atmosphere, skinny dipping and some general naughty behavior, where the expectation and pressure of sex is reduces to "if it happens it happens" and it it don't we still going to have fun.