This inability to allow other people the right to their own opinions.
I believe what we have here is a very serious case of "local cultural bias". If I look at WHERE everyone is from and their responses to all these to various thread discussions. I realised something - people from similar area-cultures - when I say culture, LET ME BE CLEAR, what I mean is the general broad culture of the AREA of the country you live in - have similar views on the same issues - regardless of their colour/race/religion/preferences - though lets be honest the larger majority of contributors are white here, which is cool but lets deal in facts that we know rather than statistics which are irrelevant to the point... I am ONLY talking about FORUM SH Contributors (NOT ALL people/swingers everywhere)
It appears to me that there is a pattern:
Please excuse the terms "big city" and "small town" - I couldn't think of a better way of defining them.
"Big City" peops are more open minded, more accepting, more aware of the fact that EVERY individual is well.... an individual! With their own ideas, and views and opinions and are SURPRISE SURPRISE entitled to these ideas. They are more willing to share opinions, consider other points of view, be persuaded or come to new conclusions and perhaps discover new people and new experiences in the process. "Big city" people who are now living in "small town" places will attest to this "dis-connect" of thinking patterns between themselves and the people they live amongst. And no doubt "small town" type people will also say that the "big city" people living in their small town area "don't fit" well into the local culture. I know my husband (originally a "small town" peop) regularly thinks this of me (a "big city" peop). "Small town" people (and here I mean people who have adopted a 'small town' way of thinking, not ALL people literally living in small towns) tend to be more territorial, more rigid, more protective of their local culture, which in turn is less fluid and less flexible. There are of course many many people who have a foot in both worlds, some who literally come from one environment and are living now the the other and some who have become, as they mature and collect life experience, more or less rigid or flexible in some areas of their thinking (for example swingers in general are more flexible in their thinking about relationship formats).
What is my main comment here? Well the more flexible you are in your way of thinking the more open you become to new experiences and the less "scary" those possibilities become, the more free you are to enjoy life...
It pays to be flexible... In many many ways! :twisted:
Being rigid in your thinking immediately excludes you, by default, from all sorts of possibilities - like the "no people of other colours" thing - think about all the amazing people (who happen to be a different colour from you) who you will never ever have the chance of even being friends with.... how sad... for the rigid thinker.
So... When you find a person stubbornly being a small-minded inflexible arse online... from now on you may simply roll your eyes and ignore them - they simply do not think like you do, and therefore will never be open to the mind-blowing amazing experiences you or I might be open to (and most likely will have) as a result of our ability to be flexible
My clients who have benefited immensely from a perspective change on life have been overwhelmed by their new-found freedom in life to simply BE who they really want to be, once they have removed all the restraints of cultural thinking patterns, unnecessary rules and "facts": based on nothing more than some old fart's musing, which have been over time, incorporated into the way we think as "how it is" or "the truth" whereas in reality they are simply man-made imaginary shackles on our minds!
I might not be into whips and chains and hot wax but I celebrate and applaud the fact that there are people out there who are free and happy enough to explore all their kinkiness and authentic selves and delight in it!
So for all the women out there who think they are perfectly capable of figuring out what they want in bed without certain men TELLING them what it is that they want. For all the couples out there who are genuinely friends with each other who truly love and respect their partners and put their needs ahead of others and their own AND for all the (REAL) singles out there who truly wish to participate in the swinging scene with respect for the people and relationships involved and mature co-operative participation. For all of you flexible authentic people - I LOVE you guys - you are what make this lifestyle awesome! You are the innovators, the explorers, the pioneers, and DECIDEDLY the people I want to meet!
So PLEASE will the flexible people bend this way and offer your insights and opinions and observations so that we can have some DISCUSSION instead of just going around in circles with the same old kak.
I have never been rigid as far as my thoughts in this lifestyle are concerned nor in my "vanilla" life simply because I believe that every meeting, every experience and every opportunity is one I can gain something from. Whether it is the wisdom gained from failure/bad experiences to the knowledge gained from success/positive experiences, all have their place in my life and I shun none of them.
What is it then that makes me THINK I am so flexible?
To put it simply; If my mind were any more open, my brain would fall out!
What gives the IMPRESSION that I am rigid?
My viewpoint on particular topics. I do agree that everyone is entitled to their opinion but I also believe that in offering that opinion, folk should expect critique, especially if their viewpoint is a controversial one. Conversely, I will offer compliment if I deem it necessary or warranted. And I believe that the same rules apply to me and anything I may post or comment on.
I do have a weakness and some even see it as downright arrogance and that is that I do not suffer fools easily. I often find myself saying or commenting on something that I consider so inane that I simply cannot help but offer my thoughts in the hope that the person I am replying to will take a moment to think about what it is they have said. Sadly, the sentiment is often misinterpreted even though I try to be as unambiguous as possible.
So how does all of this relate to being considered open-minded or flexible?
I will try anything at least once. I believe that if it feels good, doesn't harm anyone and doesn't put anyone in danger then why the hell not! And this view extends to all areas of my life. I'm not into sadism or masochism since they do not appeal to me and there are a few things I simply will not consider since they go against every fibre of my being. I am not a follower, I am not a conformist. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I am brutally honest and consider a white lie nothing but exactly what it is. It's strange just how few people there are that truly appreciate complete honesty. Most people SAY they do until they're faced with it. But, I digress.
In short, I believe that I might just be one of the more flexible, more open-minded, more accommodating folk on SH. Except when it comes to fools :wink:
Ps: When I say "I", Mrs Deviant is included 
(@LeeEC - I laaik your signature! :rotflmao: )
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