As a couple new to the lifestyle we would like to take things slow. Is it then wrong of us to expect a more experienced couple to respect the 'speed' we are willing to move at? Yes, we would eventually like to do a 'full swop' sometime. But we need to feel comfortable with you as couple and we need to feel *ready* for this to happen from our side as well.
If we are up-front about This, during our initial correspondence with a potential play couple and we say that we are not yet into full swopping for penetrative intercourse, then surely this will give the other couple the option to say sorry, they are no longer interested in meeting.
They should not then feel cheated and misled when meeting to see if we as couples have some chemistry. It is after all a process in which we have to set down play rules on both couples' sides. And both couples should have the right to agree or agree to disagree and each go our separate ways, in a friendly manner.
What after all is soft swing??? We each have our own views on this.
For me personally there is a difference in the context of how I/We want to play for now. We as a couple prefer same room play, to tease and swop partners for oral stimulation and some hand and nimble finger playing and teasing.
Than what we would like to go full out to direct penetrative intercourse, In separate rooms, away from our spouses. Hope that this makes sense to everyone.
I love giving and receiving oral, love the foreplay of it all; penetration is simply the end of the whole enjoyable foreplay.
Now At this point I have more fantasies about giving hand and Blowjobs and doing some serious Cunnilingus on the ladies (if the lady of the couple feels she is up to this type of play) Than, what I want to feel another man's cock inside of me.
I love teasing a person to the edge of orgasm, then backing off, then proceed to tease again till near orgasm. This type of play and teasing is a big turn on for me, to be able to make a person as horny as I can. Therefore I would like prolong foreplay for as long as I can!
Gone bit off topic there.
Was just wondering what other Newbies and those with much more experience's take are on this?
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Full swop? Soft swing? Same room sex?
In my opinion, respect is the most important factor that will determine whether or not individuals will 'click' when it comes to playing and whether or not the people involved will build up a good friendship.
From a single male's perspective, respect is paramount. You move at the pace of the couple and obey the 'No means No' rule. If I don't respect the couple, how can I expect them to want to invite me to join them?
If anybody feels pressured into a situation, they won't enjoy the experience and everyone will just be wasting their time.
Erotic_Nauty, this is good I think most newbies could learn from more experienced players, well We can always update and renew our views.
Before engaging in sexual activities with other people I would suggest you have a discussion about what is acceptable and what is off limits.
I have found people have different Ideas on what is soft swap and to make sure what that each of you UNDERSTAND each others limits...communication is the only way to keep things nice and friendly and safe.
What Soft swap means to me personally.
When couples exchanges partners, but do not have intercourse.
Generally it is limited to swapping & CUNNILINGUS.
Many times a couple will decide to limit their play to Soft Swap; however, in the heat of the moment will go further than then agreed to previously.
In general I think this can cause try and stick to the limitations you discussed.
There will always be another opportunity, you can always do "more", BUT you cannot ever go back.
I can only think how exciting each new situation must be for you guys. some NOT good,but some really good,and some to turn your toes in your socks,it is so DAMN good.
I think I need to become younger with all this NEW clubs and socials and freedom one has these days....
Enjoy , Enjoy your journey.
PiB as you said it DISCUSSION about what is acceptable and the set limits is very important! Not just between the two (or more 
) couples, but even more impotantly between the 2 partners!
And that discussion I think even needs to take part before joining of the lifestyle and are also and ongoing one! Making sure both partners agree on how far it will go, and who is ready for what move. Els I don't think it will be fun if one partner does things the other is not yet comfortable with!
So yes, many may wonder why we all chat in the chatroom or send few mails to each other AND then first want to meet platonic for coffee or drinks BEFORE even saying yes to any play! It is simply because of needing not only to see if we have 'chemistry' or a connection it is simply to make sure all know where the line is drawn and if al feel comfortable with that!
) couples, but even more impotantly between the 2 partners!
And that discussion I think even needs to take part before joining of the lifestyle and are also and ongoing one! Making sure both partners agree on how far it will go, and who is ready for what move. Els I don't think it will be fun if one partner does things the other is not yet comfortable with!
So yes, many may wonder why we all chat in the chatroom or send few mails to each other AND then first want to meet platonic for coffee or drinks BEFORE even saying yes to any play! It is simply because of needing not only to see if we have 'chemistry' or a connection it is simply to make sure all know where the line is drawn and if al feel comfortable with that! How very true, Between couples should be an open two way communication, I can just think how they feel seeing their spouse being pleasured and they are not the ONE doing it.
I have read a few blogs on other sites and mostly IF there is a Green MONSTER hiding in one of the partners an uncertainty of them self and their powers to satisfy their own spouse and they do NOT communicate these feelings as soon as IT arises ,if smolder and become so bad it ends in unpleasant situations while they are playing...or at home and the third person or other couple get lashed at as the *problem*...even getting divorced is a possibility.
Once a single lady told me how uncomfortable she felt at play socials and parties when a certain lady would over indulge in alcohol and then come and tell her that her hubby LIKES her the single lady MORE than the wife!!!*tipiese dronk verdriet*..situations.
I have seen how a *married woman* pursued a single gent after only one play,how her and the gent and her hubby.
I have seen people throw shouting tantrums at parties.
I have seen how lecherous some married people(MALE AND FEMALE) are BUT when the other half is near the lady/gent they are accosting is the whore/ or over jealous man.
I have seen physical fights break out when the wifey is caught out flirting and she then blames the other party...to save face.
So YES being truthful and open communication is so very very important.
I would always say being or starting out in Swinging....is a time bomb ..and one has to step very carefully. between each detonation...you never know when you step on a *bomb*
Do not get me started on the *back* biting....the people who thinks they can entice you to play behind your spouses back.
Or we as singles will jump to play with the hubby with out their wife knowing...
NOW , I AM NOT talking the married man/woman here on site,his/her wife/hubby does not know....I am talking about the couples here.
I sometimes test men....as I have great respect for certain people who is part of a couple ,and sometimes I am very glad to KNOW they will flirt BUT not cheat..and that they DO LOVE their spouse very much
those couples have the greatest respect from me.
Now it might seem that couples are a danger zone...BUT know there are couples out there who is truly happy and loves each other greatly. They are a joy to know.
I see this all as foreply, all the flirting and and touching is just to get my wife ready for me to love
We have been at parties and I did not have any interest in the woman, thats why we now only have threesomes, my wife was all I wanted and got, so hot and ready for me
The best is when she gets a man so hot he cums on penetration, she loves that and will get him going again for another round
As for couples arguing, they should not be there or invited, they are there for the wrong reason, the husband wants a screw and expects his wife not to enjoy herself and she will get upset when this happens and find solace in drink and sympathy where ever
In any situation my wife will know she has my blessing and she can do anything she wants and it is actually amazing to see her seduce a man she wants without a moments hesitation
I have also seen her completely reject the lover that thinks he is god's gift
