confused

15 May 2013

So between 09h30 and about 10h00 this morning there was between 7 and 12 people "online in the forums" at any given stage. What I am confused about, is that nobody wrote anything at all .. . . . last write up was from before 09h00 . . . . . I always thought that humans had lots to say, especially online . . . . seems I was wrong . . . . .

15 May 2013

Hi SDMR, Yip, I was one of them! Lurking around, reading everything that's been written, but seldom posting. I'm not really into the "banter" posts, being generally a "quiet type", but rather just making a comment now and then when I believe I have something useful to contribute. There you are - I "fessed up"!! wink

But I'm only one of 12......!

15 May 2013

Ek glo almal gaan in die oggende in die forum om te kyk of daar nie iets nuuts geplaas is nie. Moet se dit was nogal opvallend die hoeveelheid mense in die forum. Maar soos gewoontlik was dit maar weer net dieselfde mense wat probeer om die forum aan die gang te hou, die een of twee vreeemdes wat waag om hulle nekke uit te steek maak 'n onbetrede opmerking en verdwyn dan ook net so vinnig. Ek raak nogal bekommerd en sluit my daarby in, dat ons wat gereeld in die forum is krapperig raak en dit kan mense negatief maak. Kom ons almal probeer meer positief raak en ignoreer enige negatiewe reaksie en dalk net dalk kry ons meer mense om die forum te geniet

15 May 2013

Quote by redbruce
Hi SDMR,
Yip, I was one of them! Lurking around, reading everything that's been written, but seldom posting. I'm not really into the "banter" posts, being generally a "quiet type", but rather just making a comment now and then when I believe I have something useful to contribute.
There you are - I "fessed up"!! But I'm only one of 12......!

Haha, and my post has been read by 8 others already.
By the time I had finished posting, there was 15 people on-line in the forums. I am not complaining about it at all, as people are entitled to their own ways, I just found it a little unusual.

15 May 2013

Quote by Adonis
Ek glo almal gaan in die oggende in die forum om te kyk of daar nie iets nuuts geplaas is nie. Moet se dit was nogal opvallend die hoeveelheid mense in die forum.
Maar soos gewoontlik was dit maar weer net dieselfde mense wat probeer om die forum aan die gang te hou, die een of twee vreeemdes wat waag om hulle nekke uit te steek maak 'n onbetrede opmerking en verdwyn dan ook net so vinnig.
Ek raak nogal bekommerd en sluit my daarby in, dat ons wat gereeld in die forum is krapperig raak en dit kan mense negatief maak. Kom ons almal probeer meer positief raak en ignoreer enige negatiewe reaksie en dalk net dalk kry ons meer mense om die forum te geniet

:thumbup: Kom ons try . . .

15 May 2013

15!! That's brilliant - the way to get more contributors is to first get more READERS! So we are half way there! Everyone invite your friends!

15 May 2013

Quote by LeeEC
15!! That's brilliant - the way to get more contributors is to first get more READERS!
So we are half way there!
Everyone invite your friends!

Queen Bee (spelled LeeEC), that is the source of my confusion . . . . people only seem to read and not contribute (well, unless it has something to do with political issues) . . . . they steer clear of the sex topics, but who can blame them, this is a sex site after-all . . .oh, wait, that would mean . . . . . .

15 May 2013

Take a good look through all the previous posts in this forum. It's surprising (and saddening) to see just how many folk get shot down simply because their opinion is different to that of someone else. I'm not saying this is the only reason for so few contributors but it does have a rather large part to play. Another thing i've seen is just how quickly a particular topic gets degenerated into something completely off-topic. I can only speak for myself here but to me it smacks of a lack of respect to the person who makes the initial post as well as to those who have a relevant reply to said topic. Perhaps if people felt that their posts were being taken seriously and that they felt they would not be ridiculed or belittled, they may be more inclined to actually make a comment or post something worthwhile. Just my two cents smile

15 May 2013

Quote by Deviants
Take a good look through all the previous posts in this forum. It's surprising (and saddening) to see just how many folk get shot down simply because their opinion is different to that of someone else.
I'm not saying this is the only reason for so few contributors but it does have a rather large part to play.
Another thing i've seen is just how quickly a particular topic gets degenerated into something completely off-topic. I can only speak for myself here but to me it smacks of a lack of respect to the person who makes the initial post as well as to those who have a relevant reply to said topic.
Perhaps if people felt that their posts were being taken seriously and that they felt they would not be ridiculed or belittled, they may be more inclined to actually make a comment or post something worthwhile.
Just my two cents

I agree with you that in some cases, people get shot down because of their opinions. But that is more the exception than the rule. UNFORTUNATELY, most people seem to think that somebody else giving a different opinion to theirs is some kind of attack, when it is more often than not, just the person putting a different view point out for people to think or talk about.
To me, the forum is a good place to learn. We have the chance to learn about how people function, how they think, what they understand differently to us. If people think they have been shot down, they should ask for clarity, and ask in the forum, that way anybody else who also thinks that person was shot down, can offer support and another view point.
As for topics going off subject, that does indeed happen. But again, it is not an "attack" it's an opportunity that someone seized to start a different forum discussion. Perhaps the rest of us involved should highlight the faft and have the new topic moved and maybe the person who started the first forum, should just make another posting about their topic (in their original forum posting) to get the topic back on track, instead of just throwing their hands up and getting all huffy & puffy.

18 May 2013

I also don't think that once a thread goes off topic that, that it cant be put back on topic by a one simple post. Seems a bit riducluous to say that discussions are not allowed to flow in whatever direction people take them. Also once things have been said, they have been said. If people are not allowed to talk as they would say around a table, and conversation can not ebb and flow as it would naturally IRL, then the topics become stilted, old, boring and repetitive. And contributors leave or are less and less interested in contributing. The forum isn't JUST a place to have serious discussion about sex and swinging related topics. It's a place for PEOPLE to connect, converse and have fun. There has to be a balance between the two. Maybe we should start a new thread for "serious discussions and advice"? Then those members who are having fun can commit to treating that forum as a "no playing around or hijacking" area? That way people who want serious advice or discussion can use that area for that purpose.I honestly don't think it's an either/or thing I think we can make everyone using this facility happy. The "flirt" forums are very seldom used and I often wonder why we even have them.

18 May 2013

Quote by LeeEC
I also don't think that once a thread goes off topic that, that it cant be put back on topic by a one simple post.
Seems a bit riducluous to say that discussions are not allowed to flow in whatever direction people take them.
Also once things have been said, they have been said. If people are not allowed to talk as they would say around a table, and conversation can not ebb and flow as it would naturally IRL, then the topics become stilted, old, boring and repetitive. And contributors leave or are less and less interested in contributing.
The forum isn't JUST a place to have serious discussion about sex and swinging related topics.
It's a place for PEOPLE to connect, converse and have fun. There has to be a balance between the two.
Maybe we should start a new thread for "serious discussions and advice"? Then those members who are having fun can commit to treating that forum as a "no playing around or hijacking" area? That way people who want serious advice or discussion can use that area for that purpose.I honestly don't think it's an either/or thing I think we can make everyone using this facility happy. The "flirt" forums are very seldom used and I often wonder why we even have them.

...If people are not allowed to talk as they would say around a table, and conversation can not ebb and flow as it would naturally IRL, then the topics become stilted, old, boring and repetitive. And contributors leave or are less and less interested in contributing.....
^ This....
Out of 30 odd thousand profiles there are but a handful of regular contributors/posters in the forums... Ever consider that you've just highlighted the reason for it?
Perhaps those who post PREFER to have their topic stay on course rather than be hijacked? It's gotten so bad there's actually a name for the group of people that are most guilty of doing it!

18 May 2013

Quote by Deviants
I also don't think that once a thread goes off topic that, that it cant be put back on topic by a one simple post.
Seems a bit riducluous to say that discussions are not allowed to flow in whatever direction people take them.
Also once things have been said, they have been said. If people are not allowed to talk as they would say around a table, and conversation can not ebb and flow as it would naturally IRL, then the topics become stilted, old, boring and repetitive. And contributors leave or are less and less interested in contributing.
The forum isn't JUST a place to have serious discussion about sex and swinging related topics.
It's a place for PEOPLE to connect, converse and have fun. There has to be a balance between the two.
Maybe we should start a new thread for "serious discussions and advice"? Then those members who are having fun can commit to treating that forum as a "no playing around or hijacking" area? That way people who want serious advice or discussion can use that area for that purpose.I honestly don't think it's an either/or thing I think we can make everyone using this facility happy. The "flirt" forums are very seldom used and I often wonder why we even have them.

...If people are not allowed to talk as they would say around a table, and conversation can not ebb and flow as it would naturally IRL, then the topics become stilted, old, boring and repetitive. And contributors leave or are less and less interested in contributing.....
^ This....
Out of 30 odd thousand profiles there are but a handful of regular contributors/posters in the forums... Ever consider that you've just highlighted the reason for it?
Perhaps those who post PREFER to have their topic stay on course rather than be hijacked? It's gotten so bad there's actually a name for the group of people that are most guilty of doing it!
All in the name of humour and good fun.
Unfortunately there are people (including yourself) who do not see it that way.
I assure you, no harm or ill intention is ever meant.

18 May 2013

All in the name of humour and good fun.
Unfortunately there are people (including yourself) who do not see it that way.
I assure you, no harm or ill intention is ever meant.
Perhaps not SDMR. However, in doing so it takes away from the original post in such a way as to render that person/s point completely invalid. So, why would anybody bother posting anything else when, to them, their opinion and that of those who have something relevant to say regarding said post is completely ignored?
As far as i'm concerned it shows a lack of respect.