*Are you on the pill?*
I sometimes STILL hear this from several men, even a few minutes before having sex with them.
My problem with this question is that the guys think that this is the only rationale behind whether or not to use protection.
If you are on the pill, then HE will want to go without a condom.
If you are not on the pill, HE will still want to go without a condom, but perhaps he is likelier to insist wearing it, because of the risk of pregnancy.
Otherwise HE will try to *pull out* or other such nonsense.
While it may be comforting for the guy to know whether or not I am on birth control, it is not the be-all end-all.
Regardless of that matter, I still want protection from any sexual fluids.
I still want to minimize my risks and maximize my safety.
It doesn't matter if it doesn't feel as good.
If the sex is just casual, for example, I want to maintain my sexual health for myself and my future.
It is much easier for women to contract STDs from men, than it is for men to contract from women.
When MEN want to go without a condom, they have a lower risk of getting an STD.
We women are the ones with the higher risk, thus we need to have the mightier, respected voice.
However, there have been times where I have felt like I was being the mood-killer, the party-pooper when I insist on condoms.
People get suspicious: *Why are you so adamant about condoms? Do you have something?*
*No, I fucking don't have something*.
I want my health, and I deserve it.
I want to enjoy sex fully and safely.
I'm not the bad guy here.
I'm the responsible adult in the play arena, it seems.
Why do I feel like I am fighting for something that should be standard?
Condoms (safety, health, respect) should be common sense.
They shouldn't be an afterthought.
Please respect your partner's wishes and values, be a one-nighter, or a one-for-lifer.
Play safely.
PIB ja kom ek probeer weer afrikaans praat sal die negatiewe kritiek hanteer van die mails wat ek gaan ontvang. Ja ek weet PIB het die skrywe in engels gedoen, en uit respek moet ek dit in engels doen, as ek 'n eier wil le. Mense ek is nie gemaklik in engels nie so se wat julle wil.
Ek kan nie meer as heelhartig saam stem met die stellings wat gemaak word nie. Ek het gedink die gebruik van 'n kondoom is verpligtend totdat die verhouding so ontwikkel het dat die vrou instem om nie aan te dring op 'n kondoom nie.
Maar dit is seker ook waar hoe sal mense van die gevare weet as hulle nie lees of kan lees van die gevare van onbeskermende seks. Hulle lees nie eers die reels en mense se profiel ads nie.
Baie mense vra ons die vraag hoekom se ons advertensie nie penetrasie nie, ja ons doen dit want ons wil geen mense in 'n ongemaklike posisie ste nie,l deur oor die gebruik van kondome te argumenteer nie. Maar ons het beslis nie besluit penetrasie is taboe nie dit kan met tyd gebeur daar is immers geen haas wat moet gebeur nie.
Daar is natuurlik baie persepsies oor die leefstyl maar glo nie vir een oomlik of jy op die pil, op geen voorbehoedmiddel of self gesteriliseer is dat daar enige penetrasie sal wees op die eerste ontmoeting sonder 'n kondoom nie, die gevare is net so verrykend dat dit seer seker nie die risiko werd is nie.
Hoop my bydrae betekin iets vir hierdie wonderlike ervaring wat die leefstyl bied.
I agree ! play safe and dont be selfish
Paartie.
Dankie dat jy my Forums lees en daarop reageer. Tenmisnte weet ek dit word gelees.
Jy mag natuurlik in Afrikaans antwoord,waar is die reel dat jy nie in Afrikaans mag antwoord nie?
En ek dink die grooter meerderheid van ons is tweetalig, of behoort te wees!... G'n probleem, Paartie!
Ek stem met PiB en Paartie saam dat dit van kardinale belang is om die gevare van onbeskermde seks onder die aandag van die lede te bring en beklemtoon, en dit ook herhaaldelik. Ek dink mense raak baie gou "complacent", terwyl die gevaar 'n egte regte gevaar bly, en die risiko faktor vermeerder so met toenemende ontmoetings. Dankie, PiB, vir die aanmaning! (en ek hoop my Afrikaans is nie te vrot nie!)
Very informative PIB and I always respect the other persons wishes otherwise I wouldnt be around
I actually have a friend I have known for about 22 years and he always uses condoms, evan with his wife I think
Me, I like the end result and not in a condom so am very careful