more posts in the forum I guess.  It's a fact no one posts more than pib

pib,  things changed , the verify option is no longer available.  When you friend someone there is an option available on their profile to vouch for them . Then you can say that you met them , and whatever you want to let others know they are worth while . 

This vouch is then moderated and posted . If you want to you can remove any vouch from your profile at will.  

Verification is only done by site officials through the picture  verification process. 

To go to the original question.  Yes it helps we know lots of people that place stock in if someone is vouched for or not

Hugs an kisses 

Sam

Reading this I think I should point something out....

There is method to the madness . Clubs generally try to set n real dance party mood , like you'll find at any normal club. There is quiet places in the club. Ie. The jacuzzi,  private rooms or in some cases a open lounge/play area. 

The idea kids is that when you meet someone and want a proper conversation, then you move to one of these areas. And then the setting stimulates other activities.  

Yes here she goes again.... 

Reading some of the stories laid down as fact I have come to the conclusion that some men really have questionable fantasies. Now half of you are going like "NO , how dare you" but go read some. It's like the script of a B-rate slasher film. 

Leaving your wife alone in a park to essentially get " ". Or getting left completely out waiting somewhere while you're wife has sex with a complete stranger ( with no regard for her safety) or allowing a stranger to "shoot his warm load deep inside her"  to name but a few . 

Guys , WTF ? Please never put these fantasies into play. It's dangerous to say the least. 

If you do think some of these things sound like fun, I would suggest that you evaluate how you actually feel about your wife. 

In today's world there really is danger involved , swinging is supposed to be fun. But seems some would love to turn it into an extreme sport

Intelligent comment Biggles.... Can be ... But that would be voyeuristic on the part of the single guy .... Not really soft swinging.... 

Okay so this is the umteenth post on this subject.... But if this reached 1 guy and helps him, then it won't be in vain. 

This post you can see, comes from an author that's really routing for the single guys. 

Well done pooh-c 

Now yes everyone has their own interpretation of what soft swinging is , but 99% of swingers will agree that it is having sex with your own partner in the same room as another couple. It's the age old baby step before moving to foreplay and full swop. 

Now I have noticed an alarming amount of singles that tick the soft swing box . 

Sam would love to know ... Guys how do you as single bloke soft swing? Do you choke that chicken while the couple goes at it ? 

Please enlighten me 

Oh darling that's never pretty ...... 

Funny enough we have met people over the years that just drink like they need to prove something. And other who needs that liquid courage. 

Sad but true you will come across this many many times .

Omw , was supposed to be " we can't name and shame individuals" lmao sorry 

This trend is becoming a bit shaming in my opinion. And I'm sure that for every horror story from a club there are 10 success stories. We can name and shame individuals so we should not do the same with clubs . We haven't been to these clubs and I already feel that it might not be worth it to go . But then again there is always 2 sides to every story .

In the good old days we probably had a hit rate of 10 to 1 . But can't really blame the site for that we were very picky. 

We can however mention some areas where we had the best hit rate and experiences. 

1 . MP highveld - especially Secunda but Middleburg and Witbank also good areas 

2. Benoni and boksburg 

3 . Capetown

Things might have changed over time but I would suggest that couples that want to up their hit rate , should give these areas a try

@ Seeman ..... Thank you,thank you, thank you..... You absolutely hit the mark with your post. And although it will go over the heads of 90% there will be a few that will find value and take note. 

I shower before and after, cleanliness is after all not a negotiation it's common sense. Hell sometimes you might want a shower while playing. Yes some people can give you quite a work out lol. 

Don't see people not showering after as a problem though.... Might be kink might be something else. But as long as they good , clean and fresh when we started its all tra la la .... Lol

Okay so this went no where fast . Lol. 

So the singles get no action, because the couples don't know what they want ? Or maybe couples just had their fill. We did , being in a 3 some just doesn't do it for me anymore. I enjoy playing with couples. And the all time favourite seducing unsuspecting vanilla people.... Oh glory that's fun

We were "shown the way" by an older couple. We were newly wed and in our 20's at the time. Looking back it has been an incredible experience and we have loved being liberal every day since 

Thoughts by Sam : biggest issue with identifying jewelry or other things is the internet.... Any one can look it up. And most people in the lifestyle participate in secret. Imagine being outed at your kids school due to a ring or bracelet ? 

You are not weird darling.... Many many people do not have a fetish. Many people enjoy this lifestyle more for the company and just plain old sex. Now allow me to once again stick my neck out and say. Men on here ( singles and in couples) stereotype the women here. Women are thought to be kinky wild sluts .... If you are great. If not it's also great. Explore it ( like you are doing) and find your path . It is your path and you decide what works. Don't let people and their opinions make you feel weird. 

Have come across family. Can you say " awkward" 

This is something to think about.....

When a couple lands a unicorn, then more often than not it's like the dog that caught the fire truck.  It's an okay what now moment. 

Men generally won't want to take the lead because us girls do tend to get jealous in FMF scenario. An our men know it. 

Also as a side note ( that will get the angry forum mob on my back again.) Very few couples are truly swingers. ( But Sam how can you say such a thing) 

Think about it, most profiles read . New to this ... Or ... Dipping our toes... Or ... Etc. And that's okay. But it does leave people in situations like this . One should in this lifestyle grow a thick skin. Or like kitty just make the choice. If it doesn't make you feel good then just don't

Sweetie , again missing the point. Sigh 

People generally blur the lines between sex and love. This happens more often than not. We are conditioned since a young age to believe that sex is an act of love. Therefore women and men fall in love easily with sexual partners. And "swingers" set themselves up for this from the word go. By looking for that spark or connection. 

I personally won't have sex with anyone that I feel that attached to. But what do I know.....

Sdm ... Imaging how I feel. But at least people are posting..... 

Maybe if people read to the bottom of my first post they might understand the assignment? I don't know? 

Pib... I love you 2

Siems darling..  you just restored my confidence in the class .. well done 

Okay kids let's try this....

Everyone have a bucket list, it might be written down or just dangling in your subconscious, but it's there. 

And this is a swinger's site so I am referring to your sexual bucket list. 

Now here is an idea .... POST that sucker here ! I'm sure that someone is going to help you cross some items off. 

Here is mine 

1 I want to join the mile high club.... But I'm afraid of flying

2 I want to do it in a dressing cubicle

3 I want to be tied up, blind folded and fucked silly by strangers. 

And that is basically it . I have done just about anything else you can think of

Come on kids your turn... And please stick to the assignment

Sxyfun --- I like you 

My give up !!!!! My give up !!!! 

( Picture jar jar binks in phantom menace)

PIB - you clearly feel that I am imposing on your territory. So let's make a deal I'll stop posting and you can continue to be the "queen bee" . 

Or  you could consider sticking to the topic. What ever works for you. #controlissuesmuch

SDM - you honey have the right idea. Inbox me and let's see if we can get you on that rack you bad boy .... 

Again debating the concept and not sharing. Oh I could write a paper on how people would choose to debate a point,just to look intelligent. 

Okay kids the assignment is : share your stories about breaking trough your boundaries, and your personal fulfilment after doing so. 

Got that class ? 

I have a thought/some advice.... 

Ever notice that really sexy girls have guys that sometimes look out of place. And you think... How did he land her or she could do better? Must be love right? 

WRONG ! 

Here is a secret boys.. one you probably know. Women respond to confidence! 

Female attraction is mostly based on confidence, body language and a sense of security. How you actually look is not that important if you get the first part right. 

Try it..... Oh and we can smell fear lol

SDM ... I think I need to get you on my couch....  Or my rack even. This is a classic case of agreement while trying to push a point. 

Psychologically when referring to being open minded, it refers to accepting situations/concepts that falls outside of social norms/stereotypes or religious beliefs and cultural upbringing. 

Again this discussion is aimed at not discussing what the term means. It is aimed at giving a platform for people to share experiences. This in turn should help some ( a lucky few ) to break through their boundaries and experience an open minded lifestyle. Those that live this already will understand. 

We base rules and what we believe to be normal conduct on what we were conditioned to believe since childhood. And that conditioning is based for the most part on historical scripts of which we can't even prove the authenticity. ..... Oops rambling..... 

Let's explore the experiences of open minded swingers .. come who is first?