Just dropping by...

Master of Sex

0 likes 29 Jan 2014

What happened to the interesting, respectful conversations we used to have? This used to be my favourite website, where there was always some interesting conversation going on... Where people could disagree with each other's opinions without being told off. Nowdays, that is just not happening. I know I haven't been contributing to the forums lately. I have been popping in every other day or so, but there has been nothing for me to say... There were some interesting topics brought up earlier, but they went cold pretty fast sad

Anyway... ;) C

Adonis

Orgasminator

0 likes 29 Jan 2014

Looked at the answers in the forum and you will see the forums been killed

Unknown User

0 likes 30 Jan 2014

I'm almost over this site, I'll be honest. :dry: I try to post interesting discussions, I try to get people talking - Others do too... but, it seems, either we talk about the same old stuff over and over again, or threads become mod-bashing threads and I get told off for talking too much (most recent example). Apparently being a mod means you can only stand up for other members, but not for yourself. Or people continuously ignore or refute the answers that they ask for, who knows why? Or some A-hole decides to hammer the usual crowd for being nice, chatty people. Or for being friends with each other. blink

We've had a rash of nasty people lately haven't we? sad

I think I'm done. I'm just tired I think. I have no interest in volunteering for a job that gets me insulted and mocked regularly. WTF?? confused

Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow, I don't know. I'm tired of being degraded, insulted and made to look like a fool. I'm over having people have a go at me JUST because I'm a mod. (on and off the forum) I'm tired of 'new' forum users rocking up and kakking on people for have fun, opinions and laughs. or brand spanking single newbies, telling experienced and seasoned swingers "what swinging REALLY is" :blink: or being told off for thinking one can "be friends" and also have nsa sex or being accused of being a "dirty old man who stole some chick's pictures" (I kid you not!) THIS is not what I signed up for. I find myself spending more and more time on Quora and Reddit than SH (and I used to login in here twice or three times a day), and you know what? I have more interesting discussions about sex and swinging there than I do here! Well we actually HAVE discussions on Quora and Reddit. I brought some of the subjects back here... the response? "Yeah, whatever" *sigh* I am going away to think about whether I should quit this site/moderating/swinging... I think I'm done.

Unknown User

0 likes 30 Jan 2014

The only thing is.... I would miss my friends here sad

SDM

Sex God

0 likes 30 Jan 2014

Quote by LeeEC
The only thing is.... I would miss my friends here

as I have no doubt all would miss you too. HOWEVER, stick around for a bit longer and the new bread of Confuckulated Members will probably leave before you.

KC_

Master of Sex

0 likes 30 Jan 2014

I'm glad I am not the only one who went from logging on more than once a day, during any break I could, to catch up on the forums... to "maybe there is something interesting online today" The LeeEC, this is definitely NOT what you signed up for! The only reason I am really here at all at the moment, is because of the friends we have made. Oh, and we HAVE had some really great sexual playdates with some cool people from this site! So, we are proof that when people click, and actually meet up, there is great fun to be had! (Before I am told that I am sour because I have had no fun here) Meh C

Unknown User

0 likes 30 Jan 2014

This is actually very interesting and needs discussing. I too left the forums for a long period mainly because of the mud slinging. I was told that I should not get upset if someone disagrees with my opinion. When I defend that opinion because I KNOW what I am talking about, then I get told that I force my opinion on people. Passionately driving a point home is forcing an opinion. The main problem is that when people debate on here, they believe that they simply disagreeing with an opinion, but in reality, they are actually picking a fight. There are better ways to air your disagreement than personal attacks or references to things in ones profile. Calling someone a hypocrite may sound like a constructive criticism, but it is actually a straight forward insult! Many on here can chose there comments more wisely. Still disagree, just word it a little better to soften the blow. We are who we are and we will change for nobody. Think twice before you tell someone they are arrogant or egotistical or hypocritical or dishonest... Words piss people off and they will defend themselves. Debates turn into arguments because people do not choose their words wisely. Most of us do not really know each other well enough to make the assumptions we do. We are judging each other and forming a mental picture and yet we have never had a face to face conversation. Everyone is brave behind a keyboard - out of range. But put us all in the same room? Conversation will be very different. I would easily admit to misjudging most of you based on what I read, and I would easily drop some in a second if they said some of the things to my face that they write here. So basically, we assume we have a right to form an opinion of someone before we have met them. Would go alot better if people ignore a post that do not agree with, rather move to one that you can converse about. I do that. I am guilty of sarcastically replying to stupid posts like "anyone up for giving me a blow job in a mall parking lot today". I do it because I find entertainment in it. I do not start arguments with people who post something that I disagree with. I do however continue an argument of someone replies with rejection of one of my posts in an antagonistic way. Here is some advice for those that like to debate: If you do not like what someone has to say, don't listen! To end: Be sure of your facts before disagree with someone... Never take a knife to a gun fight!

SDM

Sex God

0 likes 30 Jan 2014

Quote by Stamina
This is actually very interesting and needs discussing. I too left the forums for a long period mainly because of the mud slinging. I was told that I should not get upset if someone disagrees with my opinion. When I defend that opinion because I KNOW what I am talking about, then I get told that I force my opinion on people. Passionately driving a point home is forcing an opinion. The main problem is that when people debate on here, they believe that they simply disagreeing with an opinion, but in reality, they are actually picking a fight. There are better ways to air your disagreement than personal attacks or references to things in ones profile.
Calling someone a hypocrite may sound like a constructive criticism, but it is actually a straight forward insult! Many on here can chose there comments more wisely. Still disagree, just word it a little better to soften the blow. We are who we are and we will change for nobody. Think twice before you tell someone they are arrogant or egotistical or hypocritical or dishonest... Words piss people off and they will defend themselves. Debates turn into arguments because people do not choose their words wisely.
Most of us do not really know each other well enough to make the assumptions we do. We are judging each other and forming a mental picture and yet we have never had a face to face conversation. Everyone is brave behind a keyboard - out of range. But put us all in the same room? Conversation will be very different. I would easily admit to misjudging most of you based on what I read, and I would easily drop some in a second if they said some of the things to my face that they write here. So basically, we assume we have a right to form an opinion of someone before we have met them.
Would go alot better if people ignore a post that do not agree with, rather move to one that you can converse about. I do that. I am guilty of sarcastically replying to stupid posts like "anyone up for giving me a blow job in a mall parking lot today". I do it because I find entertainment in it. I do not start arguments with people who post something that I disagree with. I do however continue an argument of someone replies with rejection of one of my posts in an antagonistic way.
Here is some advice for those that like to debate: If you do not like what someone has to say, don't listen!
To end: Be sure of your facts before disagree with someone... Never take a knife to a gun fight!

Dude, the problem here is that people are bringing fingers to a brain fight rotflmao

SDM

Sex God

0 likes 30 Jan 2014

Ok, so seriously, I must say I mostly agree with what you have all said. The problem is . . . . . . . . well, I guess we could all say what the problem is, according to us, and that's just the problem, we all expect everyone to see things exactly the way we do. . . . . . Da Life she no wooik lika dat. For months we have been hoping for extra members in the forums, so that we can have more opinions, insights, blah blah blah, now we have a few new / newish people who have different ideas, albeit just because they have not figured out how this particular bunch of forumites function. Maybe once they take the time to see how the regular contributors function, they would see that we are actually a pretty normal bunch of people.

Unknown User

0 likes 30 Jan 2014

Quote by SDMR
Ok, so seriously, I must say I mostly agree with what you have all said.
The problem is . . . . . . . . well, I guess we could all say what the problem is, according to us, and that's just the problem, we all expect everyone to see things exactly the way we do. . . . . . Da Life she no wooik lika dat.
For months we have been hoping for extra members in the forums, so that we can have more opinions, insights, blah blah blah, now we have a few new / newish people who have different ideas, albeit just because they have not figured out how this particular bunch of forumites function. Maybe once they take the time to see how the regular contributors function, they would see that we are actually a pretty normal bunch of people.

Normal?! Speak for yourself! Haaaa ha haaa!!! I am a freak!!! He he he..

Unknown User

0 likes 30 Jan 2014

@ Lee. Take a break and then come back and see if things are little different. We can always hope.

Unknown User

0 likes 1 Feb 2014

Ah guys, you miss my point. This is not the same gripe that you all have. I don't care if people disagree with me. I mean really, knock yourself out. The things I'm dealing with largely happen BECAUSE I'm a mod. Only Adonis will really understand. smile

ash

Sexpert

0 likes 2 Feb 2014

any personal attacks on mods or members shows one has no respect and i feel there should be no place for such people on this is good , it helps us gain perspective (or it should in theory anyway).i am guilty of arguing/debating about things i feel strongly about and i would hate it if anyone accused me of forcing my opinions on anyone for simply believing in what i say and if you feel just as strongly as i do then you should do the same(just don't disagree with me lol

) the truth is the forum would have died a long time ago if not for the work and effort put in by pib and lee .i do make the odd contribution but only in response .I'm more of a chat room regular , interacting live so to a single guy that hasn't really expanded my "swinging" experience since joining i don't feel i have much to share but i will make an attempt because you ladies have knowledge that needs to shared to the future guys like me that join not knowing let me do a quick spell check so i don't piss lee off wink

Unknown User

0 likes 2 Feb 2014

Ha ha

Thanks for making me laugh Ash smile

cumminglinguist

Warming the Bed

0 likes 2 Feb 2014

Lee, as one of the voices of sanity and reason on this forum, we would miss your insight, backsight, downsight and sideside, your observations, quips, inputs, outputs and otherputs. I, for one have always thought that, here in the , while it is a veritable desert of sensually minded people, you are the one oasis..... I understand your points, and, as it takes a good person to do nothing for evil to prevail, I plead guilty of perhaps not answering your interesting posts as often as I should... forgive my oversite. You would be sorely missed as a mod.

Mike_Pta

Orgasminator

0 likes 2 Feb 2014

Don't go, I love all your comments Lee, just wish I had more time to keep up with the forums these days.