29 May 2016

Chapter 1 Marriage

We met while still at school I was in matric and she was only 16, young beautiful, petite and innocent. I had seen her at the movies and we were young and free an innocent. Our first date was a friend's wedding. One can only say it was love at first sight, but it was more than that. She was intelligent, seductive, sexy and so very shy. The date had been set up weeks in advance and it was not for at least three months before we made love for the first time. It was my first truly sexual experience, with a woman. We were at a friends place and he and his girl friend had gone into the bedroom, they had been in the bedroom for ages, she was only thirteen at the time. My girlfriend was only 16 when we made love that afternoon; We stumbled through a nervous and rather painful first experience together. We were more scared of pregnancy than getting caught having sex. I am an above average male and she was just so tiny that I could barely penetrate her and after a few tries we eventually managed some penetration and it was my first real experience of making love to someone that I was truly in love with. Over the next few months we tried just about everything, we would do it as often as possible and wherever we could find some privacy. My first experience of sucking a woman happened shortly thereafter, I will never forget the first taste of her and just how beautiful she was and how much we enjoyed sucking each other while making love.

Her family was highly suspicious at the time as I was, excuse the cliché, from the wrong side of the tracks, my parents had very little but provided well for us, her parents were wealthy or so I believed as anyone who could take there family overseas for a holiday or anyone who could go anywhere and stay in a hotel or go on an airplane, was wealthy, or so I believed in those days. We had so much fun together and we were very sexual, but it was much more than that I was really in love with her and she loved me unconditionally.

One night while her parents were out we were feeling each other up under a blanket and watching TV, she loved keeping me constantly hard and horny as hell. I will never forget my embarrassment when her mother sneaked around to the hall window to spy on us. She started to bang on the window and screaming and asking us what we were doing, I ran down the passage with my jeans around my ankles, in hindsight it was fucking hilarious. After that we were far more discrete and would fuck at friend’s houses or in the car or my brothers flat. .

I matriculated that year and like all good young South Africans honored the call to “defend our country” what a pile a of crap it was, and we were abused and subject to terrible mental and physical abuse at the hands of sadistic instructors. Offices who fucked you up because you didn’t need to shave yet or you spoke English. I grew to hate authority and hate the military and the establishment

The only thing that kept me sane through two long years of torment and abuse at the hands of the government and its henchmen was my fear of going to jail as an objector and my love for her.

We wrote every day and swapped photos and calls. I was based in the old South West Africa at the time, going home was nearly impossible but we could write snail mail and fantasize. This together with long periods on the border with Angola, dying of boredom and living on fantasies about my girl at home. I spent hours together on guard duty thinking of her or just lying in our beds talking about our lives and of course sex. Her letters were like gold in those days. We could tell a great story. But my god could we talk about sex almost non stop. I came home a few times and my love for her was stronger than ever and we were totally insatiable. She won the Miss Edenvale crown while I was away and I was so proud of her and, treasured the photographs she sent me. We were inseparable.

After finally getting out of the service we resumed our dating and the relationship was stronger than ever. A year or so later she fell pregnant and we married. It was not easy for us I was working as a clerk in the Bank and she was a shop assistant at a Jeweler. Our first home together followed. Despite our love for each other, we were battling and money was always very tight. Her parents were very good to us and without there help it would have been so much harder. There was no love lost between my mother in law and I.

I could not forget how she had treated me when we were dating or the way she had reacted when she got the news about the pregnancy. My father in law had been fantastic about the whole thing, but she had been a total bitch and blamed us for her embarrassment and was more concerned about what the neighbors may say than caring about her daughter. We were married in September1980.

The years that followed were the happiest of my life. We were young, had a great relationship and we loved each other. Our son knew only a loving and caring home and the family. My relationship with my new family was very strong. We also had so much fun, on tight budgets we played hard and had good friends, family and careers to worry about. I was studying full time at University , while she worked and we lived well. Our son was the most important thing in the world to her. I was a little less involved, in his very early years with my career, military and life style. I loved them both no less. As he grew I got more involved and today we remain very close. It would not do justice to my marriage to be able to cover all we experienced. Those good memories I keep for myself, suffice to say that this period in my life was career orientated and although we did fight occasionally about my drinking and behavior that was appalling it was peaceful and the sex was fantastic. We made love all the time and it was the prime of our lives.

For the next 7 years, I can say I was truly happy, the biggest problems facing us were, military camps and how to avoid them. Building a career and studying like crazy. Partying hard with family and friends and of course sex and love. We lived in a modest three-bed home in a pretty dodgy area, we were robbed and everyone discussed, politics and apartheid and the “swart gevaar” Military camps were the bane of our existence. Border duty and Township patrols were part of your life

In 1988, I suppose our world fell apart. I had an affair. Sadly it was only the beginning of many affairs, after that. I had been sent on a weeklong conference, with a group of colleagues and other employees. On the first night I met this woman there were sparks, she was tall, slim and very attractive. Throughout the conference we learned about each other and although I was highly attracted to her, I had no intention of taking it further. We spoke had a great time and even danced ,but there was nothing more suggested. The mutual attraction was evident, but we were both happily married. The other similarities, in our careers and children were startling. One evening after work I met her for drinks, and we decided to party at a club. There were a number of delegates from the conference present and we were drinking and having a great time, flirting with the woman and dancing. At the end of the evening we had paired of and some of the dancing was getting hot and very heavy. She was a beautiful woman.

After we got back from our night on the town I made a suggestion we meet for coffee. We had both gone to our separate rooms for the night after a passionate kiss good night. I called her on the phone and asked her if I could come to her room for coffee. She readily agreed and when I knocked on the door she opened it wearing only her pajamas. A yellow outfit with long pants and top. It did nothing to hide those lovely tits of hers. Sitting on her bed , coffee forgotten I put my arm around her and under her top, we kissed and I started to stroke her tits, under her top, she was kissing me and then pulled back saying that this was wrong and we should not be doing this. I remember asking her “ If its so wrong why does it feel so right” Kissing her I pushed her onto her back on the bed and was lying half on and half off of her kissing her neck and lips, wildly. I slipped my hand inside her pants and down to her cunt that was soaking wet from the hours of teasing.

She was thrusting her hips up and I pulled her pants down to her ankles and buried my face in her soaking cunt, sucking and then licking her clit with slow circular circles massaging her inner lips and gently sucking on her. As she gyrated her hips against my mouth, she was coming wildly and I wanted to fuck her more than I could ever remember wanting a woman except that first time with my wife. We stripped naked and I entered her, thrusting my cock as deep as it could go. She was scratching my back and I could feel her nails cutting into my back and tearing the skin. We were both wet with sweat slipping against each other and I was fucking her hard. As she started to cum she was crying out and the room was full of our moans and the taste and smell of sex. After awhile I asked her to turn around and bend over, with her lovely firm ass in the air I stroked and spread her ass pushing my index finger up her ass to increase the sensation for her and feeling my cock through the thin walls of her ass. We kept fucking for hours and I came deep inside her cunt as we collapsed together on the bed, We fell asleep in each others arms and as the sun was starting to rise I realized we had been fucking for almost two hours.

The following night was our last night at the conference and we went straight to her room after dinner. She was dressed in tight black stretch pants, her pussy lips clearly visible below the material, I wanted her again and this time we made love slowly and passionately, but not before she told me what we were doing was wrong and could not happen again. She kept that promise, we never did make love again, but not because we did not want to. On the contrary the few times I did see her after that, we kissed and the magic was still there, but because that very next weekend , she told her husband she had sex with me. Or rather should I say, until she admitted fucking me. He had been suspicious when she got home and someone at the conference made an anonnomous call to her husband, warning him that she was messing around. I think I know who that was, but at the end of the day it did not matter who it was, a jealous rival or, just her own guilty conscious giving her away when she got home. I know I had also gone home that weekend with terrible feelings of guilt and anguish as to what I had done and why. I still loved my wife, but I had broken my vows and the saddest thing of all I had enjoyed it. The guilt was terrible, so I know what she must have felt and that made her admit the truth.

My marriage nearly ended that weekend. I could not stand the guilt or the look on her face when that call came. I had to admit the truth and it broke her heart I have never seen someone so hurt and devastated by the news when I told her. She cried the whole night and I have never felt that sad and destroyed by what I had done to the most important woman in my life. I begged her to forgive me and to give us another chance. Only after begging her and lots of tears and questions, she phoned and they spoke. I will never know what was said, but I am sure a promise was made that she would never see me again and would never fuck me again. I was give a second chance. The marriage was saved , but the damage was irreparable as we could never discuss the issue openly and get closure on it , the small bit of counseling we sort was never going to be enough. We buried the issue instead of talking about it and trying to understand what had gone wrong. Yes I take responsibility for what I did and will live with that for the rest of my life, but we could have found professional help if we had only known it was available instead she built a wall around her heart and we never mentioned it again. I was so sorry for what I had done.

We had not solved the core of the problem, we had buried it and so the problem stays with me to this day. I know I still loved her and even to this day I still do and always will, but I lost her that night forever and the marriage and relationship was never the same after that. It was almost a year after that, when I had my second affair this was too last for a number of years. We had a wall between us and although I believe she still loved me, it was not the same innocence anymore. She could never truly forgive me. Many years later in joint counseling, which sadly we never followed to its conclusion as there was way too much damage done we started to build and mend some fences. If we had only done that straight away, well one can only wonder if we would be where we are today.

My second affair was to last almost ten years. I had known her for awhile she had dated my brother and was a slim woman of only 21 when we met, with lovely tits which she was never shy too show to anyone who was interested after a few beers. One night I came out of the local pub and bumped into her. She had been single for awhile and stopped dating some time before. We had always got on well and she was a big flirt. After going inside for a few drinks we decided to go to Mama’s restaurant another old haunt. I suggested we go in one car and leave hers behind. Standing outside I was talking to her when she leaned against me and we kissed. Her reaction was amazing it was like an electric current went through her pussy as she thrusts her pelvic bone against, my already throbbing cock. We jumped into the car and on the way stopped at the local moth hall. After some heavy petting in the car she needed a pee and with no frills she squatted next to my car with the door open. I watched her pee and was getting more and more turned on with those tits and seeing her hairy pussy as she dropped her pants and squatted next to the car door. Afterwards she climbed into the car and I asked her if I could fuck her, She was insatiable and very loud and putting her feet against the roof of my car with her knees pulled up against her tits I fucked her wildly.

After that we met on a regular basis, she knew my wife and was not interested in breaking up the marriage but she was single, young and loved cock. Her ex had not taught her anything, she was a good learner and we fucked in some very strange places. I remember one time taking her to pick up her college results, she was so turned on when she has passed that we looked for an empty room and got stuck into each other in a deserted boardroom on the boardroom table. Leaving the college and driving down the highway she lifted her skirt and asked me to finger her while driving in broad daylight. On one date the cleaning staff that came in late at night to clean our offices nearly caught us and they heard us fucking and called the security. We had to do some fast talking to convince security that I had a key and worked at the office.

My marriage and career were successful and from the outside I am sure we appeared to be the happy couple. Deep down the original affair I had was slowly eating away at the marriage. We both threw ourselves into our careers and numerous outside interests. None of which were satisfying. My sex life at home remained very good, we were both highly sexual and open minded. We loved to explore and try new things, Sex was never the issue in our marriage, and remained good until the day she left and never returned. However monogamous sex was not enough for me anymore, I was very highly sexed and so was my wife, it was variety and the chase I enjoyed. I had always been a flirt and enjoyed the company of woman. As a successful career person I had many opportunities to meet sexy young woman. I pursued very few of these opportunities, but occasionally I did stray. It was not the guilt and shame that was unbearable but rather the thought of getting caught and loosing my marriage. I knew the consequences of being caught having another affair was to loose my wife. I became extremely careful and very discrete and had to tell many lies to hide the truth. What follows in the next chapters, is the truth, or as close to my own imagination of the truth as I can remember. Someone once said “The truth will set you free”

It was shortly thereafter that I met a beautiful, but unhappily married young woman. Having two affairs at the same time can be quite complicated. This did not stop me. We had also met at a conference and ended up in her room for the night. I found out later she was trying to get a divorce and was not into sex. She did not want me to fuck her but was happy to put my cock between her legs while leaving her panties on. After a lot of maneuvering I was able to get my cock directly against her clit and cunt and inside her panties. We masturbated each other in this way gyrating our pelvises together until I came in her panties. It was quite an experience.

I eventually did fuck her after we met at a work colleague’s house one afternoon and I decided to take a shower and invited her to wash my back. Well that is all it took before I had her on the floor and fucked her. This affair did not last very long though she was totally naïve and sex to her was get it in fuck and cum and get off her. I don’t think she ever had an orgasm. In the meanwhile I was still continuing the first or was that second affair and we were forever looking for ways to meet, or get away for day. I remember taking her on a picnic at Hennops River and we walked along the river before we found a private spot and fucked next to the river. My last memory of that was leaving a used condom hanging from the tree’s we were under. The sex was great and I was still married, but by this stage I didn’t really care who or what I fucked so long as it was new pussy and it was willing.

I was transferred overseas and I believed that this may just be what my marriage needed to get back on track. We were getting on fine , but had never really recovered from my first affair, Living overseas was an experience to remember and an eye opener. South Africa’s pathetic censorship laws meant we had never seen some of the sex bars and openness of the Far East or Europe. Of course we had always had access to illegal strip shows and movies. Here they let loose a complete womanizer, always on the prowl for sex in the big apple.

There were tit and pussy bars all over the city and a lot of my lunch times were spent in some dive, looking up some woman’s twat while she gyrated on a pole in front of me. Peep shows and paying ten bucks to watch a woman shove a dildo up her pussy or ass while watching through a window. These woman all encouraged you to show them your cock while they gave you a show. And of course it was a show and not the real thing but I did fair a amount of wanking and shooting a load of cum against the glass for their benefit. My marriage was in the doldrums we were not getting on very well she was bored to death, could not work and I was spending 12 to 14 hours a day in the city at work or on the train commuting. I kept myself amused reading pussy magazines on the train, which of course were also all banned in South Africa at that time even though you could get them under every bed or hidden in some closet . It was while reading one of these magazines called, quite appropriately “Screw” that I discovered New York’s seedy nightlife and a way to spice up my marriage.

Real life porno movies, not the grainy old crap you found hidden in most guy’s cupboards back home but real, good quality fuck movies made by amateurs or filmed by husbands. I bought a few and some nice toys and we used to fuck each other silly at home watching porno’s or playing with a dildo. I had also bought my own video camera and was very keen to film us fucking which we did on a few occasions. They were really damn good home movies we made while traveling and I still watch them today. Fuck we were so young and naïve in those days , just watching a porno would get us totally worked up and we could not get past one or two scenes before we were fucking each other. The sex was really great and we were fucking each other almost everyday again like we had years before. I still loved her and she was without doubt an amazing woman to make love to. It might have been all the years of dancing and aerobics, but no woman I had before or since had a tighter more responsive pussy than my wife. She had this fantastic ability to use her vagina to milk my cock, I could feel her contracting and it was like getting your dick sucked when she contracted and opened her pussy on me. We also played with lots of toy, butt beads , dildos, and the like and I used to love pushing those little beads up her ass and pulling them out one at a time watching her tight little ass open and release each one as I tugged on the string. The sex and making love to someone you love was always the best for me, it just was not often enough for me and could not keep me totally satisfied.

After a couple of years we returned to SA and those first few months were really hard on our marriage. My job was not what I wanted it and my career was at a stand still. The time overseas and shown me so much and we had been on the top of the world. Coming back to a narrow minded South Africa, with all its problems and political turmoil was very difficult. We made a fatal mistake in moving in with her parents while building a new home and it killed our sex life. I could not stand living with her parents and we had very little privacy.

We finally moved into our new home and life was very good for a long time. Lots of money, the nice house, and good jobs. She was flying in her career and so was I. We both worked very long hours and were extremely successful. Our sex life improved dramatically once we had our own home again and we started to broaden our horizons, travel extensively together and apart. Life was very good and satisfying. I continued to seek sexual gratification elsewhere when ever possible. While we were having so much fun and although she often questioned me I was a good liar. With things going better at home I was not as tempted to look elsewhere, but still had to get fucked now and again, and the more debaucheries and fucked up the sex was with these woman the better I liked it.

They taught me so much about how to fuck a woman, what turns them on and each one was unique and I loved fucking them. My behavior was getting steadily worse and more risky as well. My feelings of guilt never changed I always felt guilty about fucking other woman. I wondered whether she knew or expected, what I was doing. If she knew she would leave me straight away but if she only suspected , would she not also have left. I do not know. Maybe she did not want to know. I know why I got away with it for so long though. She still loved me. I often asked myself why I could not stop, I was getting great sex at home so why did I need these other woman to suck my cock and play with me and to fuck.

Our sex life was still great; we became more and more adventurous. We had also started being a lot more open with our friends, having Jacuzzi parties or playing strip games with other couples. At these parties there was lots of touching and of course eye candy for me. Some of the parties boarded on becoming full swinging parties , but mostly it was just coping a feel or fingering , one friend could not get enough of seeing my cock and allowed me to stick my finger up her cunt. The husband was so busy looking at my wife's tits he never saw me fingering his wife.

Who was I really the family man or this other life I was leading . I was both a good provider, loved my wife and family, but this insatiable drive to fuck anything I could. My career had come to a standstill, I still received promotions and we lived very well, but I had little or no interest in my career. It was around this time that I found, the Internet and the possibilities were endless. Adult web sites were everywhere and so was cyber sex. I was traveling frequently on business and also believed that my wife was fucking around. I didn’t know who he was but I followed them one night after seeing them together outside the local gym, and yet I did not confront her, rather choosing to believe otherwise and my own guilt about what I was doing made it even harder to confront the truth.

How could I confront her when I had so many of own secrets? With the Internet I also found adult personals and of course Swingers and Swingers Clubs, I did not even know these places existed. I had read and seen so much about them on the Net and this was something I thought we could do together, but how does one broach this topic with your wife? It took me along time to raise the issue , but somehow the regular Jacuzzi parties we were having and starting to explore our sexuality with others present I knew from my reading that we were or could be classified as voyeurs. We really enjoyed the adult parties we had , but there was no sex, but lots of teasing.

I had finally found a job that also was a lot more interesting and we traveled a lot, but not always together as her job was demanding huge amounts of travel. It was on one of these trips that I met Jo. I was on a conference for a week in New York hosted by a major foreign bank they invited top clients from all over the world to a week long conference. She was from Sweden a beautiful blonde blue eyed woman. Intelligent sophisticated and married. She spoke 7 languages was very interesting and horny. She was in a marriage of convenience, did not love her husband and yet she was happy to stay with him, she called him her best friend, but not her lover. We had a huge amount of fun at the conference together with a lot of hard work and play. One night after going bowling I walked her back to her hotel. Standing outside saying good night I kissed her and taking her hand I lead her back to my hotel, which was on the 50th floor of the Millenium Hotel. How sad it is all gone now.

In my room looking over the sites of New York, I took her in my arms and started to stroke her breasts, She was leaning with her back to me, my cock against her back, hard and throbbing. Slipping my hand inside her pants I started to stoke her pussy and clit, by the time we fell on the bed we were naked and I was sucking her tits. Her pussy had pure blonde hair, and as I went down on her I can still picture the mole she had between her legs, and her blonde cunt. We fucked most of the night and it’s hard to tell how many orgasm she had, but it seemed like all night long. She had not had sex for along time, was horny wet and insatiable and so was I. The rest of the week was a blur, we would go to the seminar and then disappear from the group at night to go and fuck. It was at the end of the week that I got a huge fright we were leaving the next day when she told me she was in love with me. I know I was in love with her and yet I was still in love with my wife.

I know we still loved each other despite all our difficulties our marriage had survived almost two decades. Maybe the pressures of work, all my affairs, the swinging together as a couple and a loss in self-respect were the cause of our divorce. That is what I would never believe. I have no regrets over any of the fantastic times we had together and the times we had alone. She has her own story to tell. I think we were lost looking for love again. I will never know, but I had so many affairs. I had finally lost the most important thing in my life. One day I will ask her for her side of this story. I am sure it would make very interesting reading and also help to answer and close a lot of the past. All I can say is I think she wanted to be loved exclusively and she has found that for now. While I loved her too the very end and still do. This is cont chapter2.