13 Feb 2019

The need to love, and to be loved, is central to our idea of happiness. Being in love, and loving someone, is bound up with perception, imagination and a desired reality. So, Valentine's Day, and romance in general, are all about the fantasy. Valentine's Day is one of those days, where we can put aside the complex, real nature of relationships and act out our fantasy idea of love.

Much marketing is based on exploiting both our imagination and our desired reality. This, would necessitate a whole new topic! LOL

Women associate Valentine's Day with romance, love and intimacy, but for men, the occasion evokes more trepidation then anticipation. The challenge of meeting their significant other's expectations, presents a minefield of potential disappointments that can blow up in their faces with any misstep.

A common complaint among men is that you just do not know what women want (No shit LOL) and this goes as much for Valentine's Day, as for everything else. You do not know what you should do on the special day or what you should give your woma(e)n as a gift. This is what makes the whole experience a very stressful one for most of you. You are worried that your gift will say the wrong thing or that it will be misinterpreted. Consequently, you end up doing either too much or too little for this important holiday.

What you want to do is strike a happy balance, where your gift is appreciated, but it does not end up sending the wrong message. The key to doing this is to understand women and their attitudes towards Valentine's Day. The most important thing to remember is, that when a woman tells you it is Okay, not to do anything for Valentine's Day, SHE IS FUCKING LYING! There may be some women who do not expect anything from their husbands or boyfriends/lovers on this special day, but the great majority will be deeply disappointed, to say the least pissed off, if you allow the Holiday of Love to pass without at least a card or small gift. Unless absolutely certain that your partner is among the 0,1 percent who does not care about Valentine's Day, the safest option is to get at least a card or flowers for her. Otherwise, she is likely to be disappointed and you will be in HUGE KAK! Absolutely NO legover for you, Boy!!!

So, to help in your planning for Valentine's Day (TOMOROW!!!!) I will attempt to help you cross the minefield unscathed and make the night one to remember for all the right reasons:

1. Keep it Romantic:

Many men play it safe by planning the evening around their partner's favorite restaurant or entertainment venue. Unless the places or activities in question are truly ROMANTIC choices, planning your Valentine's Day around them is a big mistake. She might love karaoke, but that does not mean she wants to spend Valentine's Day listening to intoxicated strangers butcher power ballads.

2. Show thoughtfulness in the gift.

The most important aspect of a Valentine's Day gift is how much THOUGHT you put into it. For many women, the amount of thought you invest in the gift represents a barometer of your true feelings for them (even if you do not consider gifts very meaningful yourself). Last minute purchases are often problematic for this reason, even if the gift itself is great. As a general rule, a small gift that had to be shipped from Timbuktu is better than an elaborate gift from the store across the street.

3. Make it personal.

One of the best ways to convey thoughtfulness is to PERSONALIZE as many aspects of the evening as you can. Add touches that are unique to your partner or specific to your relationship. For example, red roses are great, but adding an extra rose in her favorite color to the bouquet is even better. Or download her favorite romantic song to your cell phone and play it for her as you hand her the gift.

4. Don't underestimate the importance of the card.

Most men do not get cards, but cards are very important for women both because of the SENTIMENT the CARD conveys and as a keepsake. The most important words in the card are the ones YOU WRITE, not the ones Hallmark writes. Signing your name and drawing a heart won't cut it. Add a romantic sentiment of your own, even if just a simple one such as, "Thank you for making this Valentine's Day truly special".

5. Be prepared for surprise tests.

Yes, Valentine's Day is February 14 (TOMORROW!!!!!!) but if at one minute past midnight, on the night of the 13th, your significant other leans over and says, "It's officially Valentine's Day. Wouldn't it be fun to exchange cards now?" DO NOT say I didn't warn you. Such surprise tests are her way of evaluating whether you care enough about her to have invested the thought, time and effort to plan ahead. Have your card ready to go (including your own added sentiment) at least 24 hours before the day itself......Sorry, I should have posted this last week!!!

Remember that the most important thing on Valentine's Day is the amount of thought you put into the occasion. On this day, women want to be made to feel SPECIAL. Extravagant gifts may be well-received if you have got the money, but most women simply want to know that they are LOVED on Valentines Day. Whether you get a woman expensive jewellery or you take the time and effort to cook her a fancy dinner - the important thing is that she knows in NO uncertain terms just how much you care about her!

CUM ON.....................BE HER VALENTINE!!!!