Written by cottonthong

24 Apr 2017

After my first sexual experience, I felt free and liberated, I realised how much I had lost out on in my youth, 18 – 25, or HAD I, the shyness perhaps keeping me from a bad first experience, or perhaps just any experience. My boyfriend and I broke up not long after, couple months, it was deeply personal but necessary. What that first experience DID do, was give me the freedom to pursue more experiences.. perhaps a little too eagerly.. my 2nd experience and first blow job, and might I add, with braces” (yes late in life I pursued perfection) was with a guy I was incredibly attracted to who was equally willing to use me, I was too naïve to know the difference. We met in a car park, chatted for a bit before a round of heavy kissing occurred, while he probed my pussy through my g-string, he had easy access as I was wearing a skirt. As the kissing slowed he asked me if I would like to try down there…. I was nervous, who wouldn’t be, I had a mouth full of metal. I don’t recall much of what I did technique wise, but I do recall him tasting very clean, my hair was sweaty and a mess, the windows steamed to the point we could not see out, what I distinctly recall is how hard he came, I swallowed and while he was midst his orgasm I looked up and his eyes were almost rolling backward. His body was shaking so… it was the first time I had seen a man orgasm, let alone the first taste of cum. Again another good first experience…and so I found I was a swallower than a spitter. Its far less messy that way..:) Never saw him again even though he used to pester me for more but he could never follow through. A man with issues.

My next experience was with a guy with major religious issues, sex out of wedlock, fighting his desire vs abstaining. A rather ridiculous notion (to me). Equally he had been hurt by his fiancé screwing his best friend on their wedding day at their wedding. I recall him stalking me when I went to movies with friends, he actually msgd me to say I saw you and hoped I had enjoyed the movie, I was a little weirded out by it but we chatted and eventually set a date/time to meet. His place, I was still very much inexperienced. When I arrived he was very polite and gentlemanly, I knew he was already but it was nice to be treated with respect. As we finished our coffee we started engaging in very light petting/kissing, and I was eventually the one to ask if he wanted to move it to the bedroom, which we did…. I was still partly nervous. What I did realise was that I wasn’t really into this person, but I continued, it was a gain in experience my thoughts always (who wants an inexperienced lover/partner) we slowly undressed each other, continuing our soft kissing/touching, (in my head I was this experienced lover, I had read online about techniques/how to kiss/how to give a blow job and so putting it to test I proceeded), I realised as he slowly moved down my body I was going to receive my first oral experience… he was patient, and committed, I lost the build up quickly if he even deviated slightly from my clit. Perhaps he was just not arousing to me… perhaps nerves perhaps many things perhaps nothing, … the eventual release was really lovely but not intense. We swopped around and my 2nd oral giving experience took its course, however don’t be fooled, not every sexual experience is going to be good, there are the bad and the ugly too. This was one of those “bad”! His penis was the shape of a banana, unlike anything I’ve ever seen since, which is tall thin, short, fat, long and any variation in combination you may think. It was tough to navigate, I could never really get a rhythm…. And in the midst of me trying he (broke wind), In that moment I vowed to myself to never give another man a blow job who didn’t all round appeal to me, the night left me satisfied, him without the further pleasure of my mouth. We had 1 further experience after that which equally did not go so well… Next!!! The Ugly!

I have always had an open mind to anything sexual, within reason, and that would include an openness to explore anal sex, not that it is something I find “always” pleasurable, in fact it has its moments. I had gone online after my first sexual experience and found this gentleman appealing in mind, we chatted for quite some time before we actually met when he was in town for business.. We agreed I would join him at the B&B he was utilising, when I arrived it was dusk, he had left the side entrance to his unit unlocked which allowed me access without the knowledge of others, I walked in to find him lying on the bed, naked, the dim light made it quite difficult to see his face and body, I was not too concerned, I was on a mission to experience more and more… I stripped myself of my clothes, and climbed on the bed to introduce myself… I remember feeling his longish dark hair, it was like silk, but what I soon realised, he was quite a hefty man, and that is being polite. We kissed and proceeded to explore each other…. Leading myself to explore his cock and balls, giving it my best effort, even fingering him, the oral on me was much less committed, and I think mostly due to his weight. He lacked any sense of effort… and therefore no happy ending for him. I was still eager thought to try the anal sex as we had discussed it. He was at least prepared for that.. I layered/lubed us both, I knew at least that much. I proceeded in a reverse cowgirl position and slowly lowered myself (I was in control) onto him, I was surprised… it was comfortable, but not pleasurable, a few up and downs later and I stopped… I had had enough of this lazy man beneath me. At that stage in my sexual life I started realising that I had placed a lot of emphasis and effort in my attempts to gain a lot of experience on pleasing men as opposed to ensuring I was put first, and I unfortunately still do it to this day…. but with those I want to. I lowered my standards for a short period in my life. Not the best choice… and many more Good, Bad & Uglies followed even my first 3Sum until I decided I had had my fill, realised I was on a bad road of self-discovery and heading down a path of lost self-worth. I was a gawky ugly teen who never got much attention from boys, who eventually bloomed. I am now far more fussy and give very little interest to those who don’t meet my personal standards, with some exceptions because It really is about the full package, I equally realised I had a mind and a body men liked. (not all).

To the young ladies out there, experience is awesome but it can often come at a cost, I discovered that myself, never lower your standards or settle, you deserve better!! To the men, don't use her for your own pleasure, be a committed lover and you may get more than you bargain for, alot more!