Written by d4v1d
16 Jun 2017
Confessions of an under cover pervert #2 - Post Interview Blue Balls
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It's been a little while since my last update. I should explain. I should, but I won't.
If you missed it, Part 1 can be found here: https://www.swingingheaven.za.com/story-5519.html
The interview went well. Really well, in fact. I got offered the job at the end of it - I didn't even have to go through the usual short-list-waste-more-time phase. But I must confess (duh, it is the title of this story), the only thought on my mind throughout the whole ordeal, was the blonde at reception.
What was it about her? What happened? What changed when I got up and approached her? She was just another woman. A 6 at best. And then, as if struck by an apocalypse-grade meteorite, things suddenly get turned up to 11.
Well, it was something I noticed. It was THE something. The something that she had dropped. She was trying so hard not to draw attention to her looking for it, that I had no choice but to notice. On the floor, perched neatly atop it's coiled little cable, sat a little pink egg-shaped ball. Had this been a year ago, I'd have shrugged it off as being some sort of kids toy, or a candy egg or something - I wouldn't have given it a second thought. But this wasn't a year ago. I knew all too well the application of that egg.
I pretended not to notice at first. I mean, awk-ward!! But throughout the entire interview, I just couldn't shake it. But, I did what any sane person who just accepted employment at a new company would do... I drew a picture of stick-me, with my tongue between stick-her's legs, and captioned it "I don't drop the ball ;)", and threw it at her desk as I ran out, hoping she'd notice that it was the back of my CV, with my number on the other side.
I got to the car. I felt sick. "Oh shit dude... what the fuck did you just do??"
Phone's ringing... will catch you up on the rest in a bit.