Same question we have been asked a few times now

We are a couple playing with solo men. 

Question we get " is this mine (hubby) or the wife's fantasy"

Makes me wonder. How can 2 people  play on only the one's fantasy?

We did not just wake up one morning and decided to try swinging for a bit because one of us wanted to.

For us a bit of role playing/fantasy evolved over a few years before we took the step. Living out our fantasy/adventure together.

We might play for a month maybe a year but for sure if either of us feel it is time to quit we will both walk away and do our own thing together again.

Just seems a bit of a dumb question or maybe I do not understand it correctly. 

Are there couples living out just the one partner's fantasy. How can that be possible or even last?

Nope... both must be into it, otherwise it is a recipe for disaster 

O not to worry, been around many years in this lifestyle and still get asked the question.... Another sometimes get asked is if hubby convinced me to join....a nope. Same as for you, it was a 'what if someone joined us' fantasy and role play. Untill decided to actually find those extras to join us lol

There is so many other questions similar to those that you still probably will get asked as well...but just enjoy it together and have lots of open discussion with each other and you will have fun.

As a complete outsider I don't see it as a ridiculous question. I could well imagine one or the other partner expressing a desire to try something new or different that the other may or may not have thought of or thought worth trying but the partnership is open and solid enough to discuss the topic and decide to try it for the sake of the other partner. I agree with gcbfw that both partners must be open to it. Just my thoughts.

we both love it, i cant get enough of seeing the Mrs enjoy herself.

For us it's a reality not a fantasy. 

Mr enjoys male to male play.

Mrs gets totally turned on watching it, insisting that the blokes equipment is large so she can enjoy it.

Then Mr watches her enjoy the bloke as well.

Mr joins them and all holes are used.

We have been fortunate to meet a few genuine blokes, unfortunately we have had enough time wasters.

But its something we luckily both enjoy.

Don't think it's a dumb question at all... Their is ofren times in a relationship where one of the partners had a "Kink" that they liked and wanted to try and their partner accomodates and does not deny them exploring their fantasy/kink because ir makes them happy. 

If I look at my own relationship and If you asked my wife who's fantasy (idea) was it for her to be a HOTWIFE and to sleep with other guys and she will tell you it was mine. She still jokes everytime she plays with other guys about "The things she has to do because she loves me"  it's 100% my fantasy that we are pursuing. She just wins/scores by default.

I would say that 99.5% of the sexual things we have done have come from my side (I just know what she likes even if she doesn't, lol)

This question shouldn't be confused with the "So who wanted to start swinging" ? Question.

We have met allot of couples that were only playing because their partners wanted them to. In most cases it is usually the husband that pressures the wife into the Lifestyle because the want to shag other woman. So its not so much a fantasy anymore but a selfish personal desire, and they couldnt care less if their partners were ok about it. Most guys have only thought about them shagging someone elses wife but never thought about some other guy shagging their wife. Trust me These play dates always end in Tears (and it's the husband crying). Speaking from many experiences

If you are in the Lifestyle for the wrong reasons it will never be successful.

I find that people will be human, just like myself!  We/I always want to know some of the silliest things, hench the questions that makes some couples sigh. I myself think it is cause they are asked the same old-same old things over and over.

As for *that* who was the first to mention...... I do believe one in a couple always have a little fantasy going, it is only if the spouse is *open* to the suggestion, that things get interesting.

I myself only joined in a swingers orgy,for to the WRONG reason, at the wrong time. Gave me a LOT of heartache and self loathing, at that time. Only with the help of a very good friend, I could overcome and become who I am today!  And yeah,  yeah,  the gent who introduced me to swinging, moved on to a younger lady, not months after the event!!!!  So NEVER do something to please someone else!!! It just never works!!!!!

pussinboots1 Thank God for that friend. Can you imagine your life if you weren't in the Lifestyle. We are glad you are...