Open minded limitations

Now it's been awhile but writing the book has given me some very real insights. So i would like to share a revelation with anyone who wants to read it.

Here goes..... 

Being swingers we believe ourselves to be open minded, yet we stack the limitations against us from the word go. And yes .... We label it as personal preference or rules , but if you think about it it's all just limitations. 

We set limitations on race , body type , gender, economic status.... And the list goes on and on . 

Do we then even have a right to brand ourselves as "open minded" ? 

Some will agree most will not ... But those that don't has the most limitations... Those that do agree have the most fun. 

Funny enough we started out with a rule book and plenty of limits , and the more we let it slide the more fun we had . And some of the best experiences come beyond our initial limitations. 

Come on guys and girls share some of those experiences that proves this point. Maybe the prudes or high ties can benefit from your experience

I thought I would put a little effort in to try and "understand" things better . . . one of the interpretations that Google throws out when you search "what does open minded mean sexually" is as follows . .  .

A sexually open minded person can be bisexual, but a sexually open minded person may also be heterosexual or homosexual only. A sexually open minded person means they are willing to explore and experiment within the boundaries of what they deem as comfortable for them. . . . 

Well done .... You can Google. Lol

You/ Google are both correct. However please note my opinion is based on a personal revelation from a point of experience, study and research. 

Not meant as a text book definition

Yes, I am well versed on googlelitis . . :grin:

I think that sums up what I was also trying to say 'not a text book definition" . . . . the same google search throws up a few other explanations (definitions) so once again it appears "choice" is raising its unpopular hand. . . 

SDM ... I think I need to get you on my couch....  Or my rack even. This is a classic case of agreement while trying to push a point. 

Psychologically when referring to being open minded, it refers to accepting situations/concepts that falls outside of social norms/stereotypes or religious beliefs and cultural upbringing. 

Again this discussion is aimed at not discussing what the term means. It is aimed at giving a platform for people to share experiences. This in turn should help some ( a lucky few ) to break through their boundaries and experience an open minded lifestyle. Those that live this already will understand. 

We base rules and what we believe to be normal conduct on what we were conditioned to believe since childhood. And that conditioning is based for the most part on historical scripts of which we can't even prove the authenticity. ..... Oops rambling..... 

Let's explore the experiences of open minded swingers .. come who is first? 

Pasting in from sexysam69:-  We base rules and what we believe to be normal conduct on what we were conditioned to believe since childhood.

I do believe being *open minded* is something most of us would like to think we are,and YES, it is true for the person who think they are open minded. For them on their lives journey it is true. For someone else who is on a higher level of their lives journey it may seem they are not as open minded as what they think they are. Which is also true.
I, myself know, we all change our own morals and beliefs, as we grow older and experience and want much more in life.
Just think back on your journey through your sexual development in just in the swingers community!  You usually start out just having same room sex, then you go to the next level, having sex with a different partner as long as your spouse is also in the room doing the same. Moving on again, you start having sex in different rooms out of the vicinity of your spouse  it goes on and on ......this makes a person think you are open minded  and YES you are, you are developing!
I also find that over time in the swingers community, most(not all,BUT a HELL of a LOT) couples tend to get *bored* and looks for newer sexual highs and different stimulations and then move on to explore the more KINKY side of sexual interludes.  Now that could be just a*vanilla* kind of sexual kink for the start...Like being blindfolded, tied up to a bedpost...and then the process moves up again as they develop their level of exploration...
So lastly  I say, as we grow in our sexuality, to know something & to learn new things, then only, do we develop real open mindedness. and YES, there is always someone who is MORE open minded than what you, yourself believe to be.

I say sexysam 69 is right in all regards as is SDM with his google search and *choice*

Me, as narcissistic as I am, are always right of course!!!!  LMAO......

Again debating the concept and not sharing. Oh I could write a paper on how people would choose to debate a point,just to look intelligent. 

Okay kids the assignment is : share your stories about breaking trough your boundaries, and your personal fulfilment after doing so. 

Got that class ? 

@sexysam69.........  I love to debate!!!!!!!  I, in fact did share on how I developed and yes, became a little more open minded  in the Story Section. I really would not like to repeat it here. But,I am sure others might share.

(Tongue in the cheek) As I am NOT really an intellectual, just a plain old blue collar worker bee. I would be pleased if you do write a paper and get a Masters Degree,on how we, (in this case,me) the worker bee`s would like to try and appear more intelligent. Just give us the pleasure of acknowledgement/dedication when you submit the script.  

Couch? Rack? . . yes please 

nd I may even write about the experience . . .

My give up !!!!! My give up !!!! 

( Picture jar jar binks in phantom menace)

PIB - you clearly feel that I am imposing on your territory. So let's make a deal I'll stop posting and you can continue to be the "queen bee" . 

Or  you could consider sticking to the topic. What ever works for you. #controlissuesmuch

SDM - you honey have the right idea. Inbox me and let's see if we can get you on that rack you bad boy .... 

 Challenge accepted ;)

Damn Sam I understood you from the get go however as I read thru the comments, no1 followed the arrow 

@speedybeexxx - you first then!

Sxyfun --- I like you 

@sexysam69  *controlissuesmuch*    You have it in one!!! I am a control freak.

As for a queen bee,  I can only dream!!!!!

Have a nice day!.

As I joined this site I was very narrow minded thinking with my smaller brain lol I was looking for any naughty women on here just to have some NSA fun with not interested in men at all...

Soon I found that finding women on this sight that fits what I'm looking for is near impossible but yet bi curious guys seemed to be dominating the site...

So this got my "brain" tickling and something told me to explore this but I was very hesitant...so finally got a invitation with the surety that nothing was expected from me in return...

Mind blowing encounter that changed my views on being by..

Siems darling..  you just restored my confidence in the class .. well done 

Pib... I love you 2

Quote by sexysam69
Siems darling..  you just restored my confidence in the class .. well done 

 Lmao thanks 

Open mindedness, in my eyes, is the ability to accept the decisions and choices of others, even if the differ from yours, in all walks of life!  

Quote by sexysam69
Now it's been awhile but writing the book has given me some very real insights. So i would like to share a revelation with anyone who wants to read it.


Here goes..... 
Being swingers we believe ourselves to be open minded, yet we stack the limitations against us from the word go. And yes .... We label it as personal preference or rules , but if you think about it it's all just limitations. 
We set limitations on race , body type , gender, economic status.... And the list goes on and on . 
Do we then even have a right to brand ourselves as "open minded" ? 
Some will agree most will not ... But those that don't has the most limitations... Those that do agree have the most fun. 
Funny enough we started out with a rule book and plenty of limits , and the more we let it slide the more fun we had . And some of the best experiences come beyond our initial limitations. 
Come on guys and girls share some of those experiences that proves this point. Maybe the prudes or high ties can benefit from your experience

 we wholeheartedly agree! 

We both feel we are open minded, we do thought have levels of comfort of what we will and will not do. We are still quite new to swinging as a couple, and are finding that as time goes on and experiences are had, our comfort levels, interest and curiosity of venturing to being more open minded is increasing. 

From our perspective, open mindedness is partly relative and subjective based on the person/s definitions of such. As experiences and stimulus is involved the level open mindedness evolves. 

Hope that makes sense  

open minded for us means: trying something that someone else brings up or told us about what they have experienced, and that we haven't maybe thought about it before. it also means for us, that we are willing to try everything twice, just to make sure. we are totally open minded when it comes to sexuality or even race, and also new experiences.

Sdm ... Imaging how I feel. But at least people are posting..... 

Maybe if people read to the bottom of my first post they might understand the assignment? I don't know? 

we came to realise about 2 years ago that, even well intended limitations, can also limit your experiences.  Two years ago we decided that we are in this lifestyle to have fun and share ourselves with others, and have them share themselves with us.  Life takes very unexpected turns which in turn leads to very unexpected experiences, ones that if it was part of our limitations we would not have had the pleasure of experiencing and finding out first hand that the 'limitation' set was really not necessary as the act is in no way pushy, demanding, done with pressure.. but that if you are open to a new experience rather limit certain no go aspects of your naughtiness that you are not comfortable exploring for whatever reason, but at least try others .. afterall, you are still in control of you.. and your partner should respect that, so when/if you should feel uncomfortable at any point in time, you must feel that everyone will respect your feelings, and not push and pressure you into doing it anyway as you already started playing.

Well said. Sexual wants & desires I suppose are as unique as DNA or a fingerprint. Each to their own & hope someone or some people out there is/are close enough to be sexually compatible 

Late, as usual. Sexysam, I do find it baffling that you judge those who are not open minded according to your definition and then get defensive when people react to your judgement.

A truly open minded individual can have boundaries without allowing those boundaries to exclude or judge anyone else with different boundaries, unlike what you are doing here.

I think boundaries are needed but they don't have to prevent us from experiencing and exploring. After all, everyone on this site are here because they are willing to challenge existing norms. 

Sweetie , again missing the point. Sigh